The Breeder ver 2.4: Growth Hormones involved
CAUTION: As always, themes of the adult variety, sex and the occasional cuss word or seven. There's definitely nudity in this one. BOY HOWDY. Oh, and continue to bet your bottom dollar there'll be spelling errors. Dreamweaver, it has no spellchecker.
Still following the as-yet-not-so ugly progeny Salus by ZombieJill is reputed to produce. Effort one produced average and sometimes adorable kids, largely awkward teenagers (but not all) and then either average or lovely adults (except for poor Skeletor's Bride, Lila). NOT GOOD ENOUGH! NEED TO SEE FUGLY ACTION! IT'S ADVERTISED, WE WANT OUR MONEY'S WORTH!
Part one of The Breeder ver 2.0 involved our intrepid sperm bank out on the hunt for a prospective uterus. Uterus secured, we moved on to the guts of the experiment: MAKING DA BBS! 2.1 birthed three children, adopted one geriatric feline and we made a stunning revelation about reincarnation..! ITS RIVETING STUFF! And then there was the rollercoaster event that was 2.2 ;_; We got more babies, - both the human and kitten kind, - but we lost a beloved elderly cat. WE LOVE YOU TWEED! 2.3 was mostly filled with kids growing up, though we got ourselves some kittens and some LOLCat action... Oh and I left ya'll on a cliffhanger. Hope you enjoyed dangling from your fingertips! :D
Look familiar? XD OH THE PAINS!
Lordie Saul, you did this to your wife how many times, in multiples even, and now you're bitching?
BEEP BEEP!
Infant: *rides invisible carpet*
YAY MAGICAL ALIEN BBS :D :D She's all Hai I'mma over here Daddy :D LOOK MORE ZEN! Awww, even when Vanessa isn't involved, the kidlet sit like a yogi and appears all-knowing. Ah GenericAsiaTown™ you cover so many varied cultures. AWESOME ^_^
CUTEST. BABY. EVER. Look at that face, she's all "CooOoOOo HAI DADDY, I SHALL LEAD A MIGHTY ALLIANCE OF MY FATHERS' PEOPLES IN A MIGHTY COLLECTIVE FUTURE AGAINST THE MARAUDING HORDES..!" And she'll be victorious. Oh yes. She will.
You are now my favourite baby, except for Pen-Pen. Who is also my favourite baby even though she's no longer a baby. Still my favourite. Whats up with the last girl of each breeding experiment being my favourite!?
World? Meet Astrid. *coos back at her*
In what I can only assume is a strong attempt to fool the world into thinking that she actually was the mother of Astrid, Vanessa spends an excessive amount of time wandering around outside (WHO IS LOOKING AFTER DANE?! O_O) until her skin turns an incredibly pallid shade of grey.
And yet, still gorgeous!
See what I'm saying here? Its some kind of advanced form of denial isn't it? And I guess she IS very zen... So it would make sense she was actually a daughter of Vanessa. *gasps* OMG is Brannigan's issue with racism towards aliens a genetic trait?!
DONT BE RACIST, PRETTY UTERUS! ITS OKAY! Even though she's not a coal-miner, she's still your daughter :D
Ruby and Amber kind of took it upon themselves to look after Dane, because Vanessa & Saul exercised EXTREME autonomous favouritism towards Astrid. I guess cause she came out of Saul, and because Vanessa was consumed with an all-encompassing guilty angst™ in regards to her a) not actually being her flesh and blood and b) her personal alien prejudice needing to make sure Astrid felt loads of motherly loving. Also since the PT she came from was a dude, I think she was wanting to impart as much womanly womanness as possible. (He's skittledboxes PT 374).
And that whole paragraph was a STUNNING display of my own favouritism. XD XD SO EVERYONE LOOKIE! DANE!!! Awwww :D He has brown hair, honest. In spite of it looking blonde ^_^;; Poor BINning is to thank for this actually awesome look. XD *likes*
Awww adorable Astrid, how cute are you darling? :D She's even zen and happy about lying on the cold floorboards. Pleased even in the face of adversity and discomfort. You will make an excellent leader of the impending community of galactic win, ma petite.
Whenever Vanessa's skin tone turns back to her normal flushed delicious pink, these two run outside and do this. Its winter guys. Do you see how you're wearing winter outfits? Jumpers? Coats? Yeah, waterbaloon fight = NOT PRO. And yet they persist. And its incredibly adorable.
OH LORDS RIGHT IN THE GUT! Not content just turning Vanessa's uterus into a deep, bountiful source of fossil fuels, Saul attempts to freeze it to preserve it for future generations to observe and admire.
You're SO lucky she loves your cold-hearted arse, Saul.
Spa time! This is pretty much 100% of Ruby's wants. If she's not in the spa, she wants to be in the spa. Sometimes she's in the spa and she still wants to be in the spa. Then she'll get out and get back in and be delighted. Also, note she gets in naked? Pleasure sims, man.
OMG Ruby, you managed to take five minutes out from your hectic hot-tub hopping schedule to spend some time with Astrid?
OMG even teaching her how to walk?! Are you sure you're a pleasure sim? You sweetie *huggles*
(hahaha I love her clown shoes)
YAY SHE CAN WALK! :D One step closer in your training to be Queen of Everything. *crowns* Good work, Ruby, your efforts shall be rewarded in this life and the next, your name hallowed in fable and song. Astrid shall wear upon her feet ruby-encrusted slippers in your honour, and one day a spiteful little brat shall attempt to squish her with her house and steal them. Stupid little girl, what gives you the right to steal Astrid's shoes? You'll rue the day you tried to do that, understand, RUE THE DAY!
Uh. I may have gone a little off track there... *sweatdrop*
SO THEY'RE ICECUUUUUUUUBES...! ICECUBES IN LOOOOOOOOOVE! <33
With no regard for their physical well-being, these two spent countless hours outside congratulating each other on how hot they were, on being in love with each other, on being married, making out, going back to congratulating, flirting like mad, then doing some more making out. We get it, you're so in love you forget all else. Please to be paying attention that you're now grey and blue respectively?
So they were looking pretty darn... Frozen. So I got them to shoo Ruby out of the hot tub and, you know, use it for some extra-curricular activities to warm up again and regain som colour. Good idea, do you agree Vanessa? Y/Y?
Uh. So Dane, feeling neglected by his self-indulgent parents, followed them out into the icy deck. He's looking awfully stressed and wind-swept there. Will someone PLEASE take the small child and put him somewhere warm? O_o;;;
Guess there's some things guys just can't do when they're THAT goddamn cold. Mind willing, flesh is not and all that. So the sex in the hot tub failed to do anything advertised, and Saul fell out and fell onto the ground... Bouncing with a sound remeniscent of an aluminium pot hitting concrete. SOMEONE GET THE HAIRDRYER, STAT!!
SOMEONE GET A ROBE FOR VANESSA, STAT!
Notice how she ignores her own chilled body temp, and thaws his arse first? Vanessa? You win at priorities.
Ruby and Amber illustrate some rather creepy things about their skin. overly defined collarbones/neck ligaments and rather.. PAINFULLY sharp shoulderblades.
This skin is the most awesomest ever in the world on blokes, like a miracle cure, just add skin and INSTAHOT™ but I've got to say it scares me on pre-adult girls. Well, the facial shading into the neck also scares me on adult girls, but only when they dont have long, cheekline covering hair to hide the lack of cheek to neck blending.
Astrid? Just because it is yellow, does not mean it is cheese. Vanessa? Saul? Whats the deal with all the teddy-bear jumpsuits for your toddlers? Also why a grey one for Astrid? Are you TRYING to rub it in?!
Uh, so, Damask grew up. FINALLY Dane has someone who he can lavish his undivided attention upon. Damask, yet another clone of Cotton bar the ONE black ear, will now be forced to cut a bitch. People will pay for her having to put up with this treatment. Oh yes, they will pay.
Amber still looking after Dane and doing all she can to make sure he feels like one of the family. Bless her soul. If I had freetime, ten bucks says both Amber and Ruby would've rolled family as secondary sim types. You can totally see her as one of those trophy wives that demands their geriatric husband do the parenting thing all over again just when they think they're well and truly over all of that since their kids are now older than their petulant, demanding wife.
Wow, see me doing it again? All HERE'S DANE and now I will talk about something else for a whole paragraph. No wonder he looks so concerned, even I neglect him! ;_;
Dane grows up, alone, in the nursery, with no one there to see it. Poor baby. *huggles* He seems to be taking it rather well, however. Should... Should we be scared? *worried*
Astrid grows up to a cheering round of applause from her siblings and parents in the doorway. FAVOURITISM!!!!
Salus aka Saul + PT 374 = ADORABLE child of ADORABLENESS.
We haven't seen Autumn, Sunny or Jaquard at all this update yet. And thats because the three of them moved out and found their own place. This is Autumn, after a little bit of a make-over. Though she doesn't have the razorblade cheekbones,nor the panda eyes of sunken doom, I can DEFINITELY see resemblences to her kind-of-not-really sister, Lila. The distance between her top lip and her nose is QUITE prominent. NICE rack though :D *thumbs up*
Although, I got her to pose for me and uh.... This is your warning for what lies below, btw...
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HOLY MOTHER OF ALL THATS HOLY! O_O;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
WHAT... WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOUR EYES?! *cries* Did they meld into the bone that constitutes your sockets?
*holds self and rocks quietly*
Quite frankly, I have to say Sunny is in my opinion, gorgeous. She's got loads of interesting facial combination action going on, the parts seperately aren't that awesome on a girl, but together she looks really quite appealing. There's a heck of a lack of lip but she wears it well...
Still in desperate need of a shave though. >_<;;;
Oh, its not her fault (nor Saul's for that matter) she has holes in her head and the skin tones around the hair doesn't quite match. Thats the hair I chose. ^_^;; Methinks I need to get her some long flowy-ness to cover the stubble.
Pity, the facial shading is so awesome from front-on.
HI JAQUARD! Still a pigpen eater I see. Eating gives her the ability to SEE. FOR. EVER. See the impending war and the uprising that Astrid will lead? :D Yes? Does it go well?
Jaquard: MAOW!
REALLY?!?! HOW INTERESTING! *strokes imaginary beard*
Oh dear. Now it appears as though I need a shave. *pulls out imaginary shaver, mime style*
Back at home base, Amber is still making sure she spends quality time with Dane. Is it just me, or does he sort of have a glazed expression on his face? Like his mouth is smiling but he has cold, dead, eyes. Cold dead eyes focused straight on Amber. AMBER RUN!!!
Astrid thinks horses can fly. I'm not going to hold it against her, since she's got alien dna. For all I know, where her PT father's people come from, horses DO fly. Look at the toy's face, he's all YAY I'M IN THE AIR *gleeglee* It's OBVIOUSLY his native state.
Yeaps, Ruby's still in that tub with her bliss face on.
*does not need to know if there are jets in her seat*
Amber? I DISTINCTLY recall telling you to run! DO NOT GIVE YOUR LITTLE BROTHER THE CHANCE TO DO THIS TO YOU!
Look at his face, such quiet pleasure.
Oh god, he's Macaulay Culkin. HE IS THE GOOD SON! O_o
*cues Psycho violin abuse*
*cower*
(AS an aside, how come, out of ALL the kids, HE got all the lips?!)
So much red! <3333 Eeeee :D *loves Astrid and Denim*
OH! Hahaha! So, Cotton and Linen had another baby. A BOY this time, a real life, actual boy that didn't get undone and turned into a girl via an unfortunate sleep-deprevation incident. ^_^ YAY DENIM, SUCH A CUTIE! Fingers crossed for not another Jaquard/Damask/Cotton clone.
ITS NOW TIME FOR MAGICAL PILLOW FIGHT OF MAGIC! *sparklesparkle*
Note, Vanessa is in the nursery, she's poised to fight over one of the wicker cradles. You may have noted that the wicker cradles are all lined up against a wall. So where is her opponent? And WHO is he?
Why its Saul, IN THE KITCHEN. they actually fought like this, MAGICALLY. Their blows hit each other, they laughed in each other's general direction, feathers flew from invisible sources... And their relationship levels were PLUSPLUSPLUS all over the shop.
THEIR LOVE, IT TRANSCENDS THE BOUNDS OF PHYSICAL TIME AND SPACE!
*tears of joy*
PS: zomg look at Denim playing with the rug in the background. SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
WTF COTTON!? You're dreaming of Wanda Tinker?! O_O;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
I've said it before, I'll say it again. Wtheck is with this family and the Tinkers?
Because an up and coming saviour of the people can't ever hit too many cliches all at once, she now re-enacts a scene from Cocoon, at the advanced age of 8. Luckily, there's no Steve Guttenbergs around to try and hit on her pre-jailbait ass. PHEW!
HAUL IN YOUR GERIATRICS AND DRESS'EM IN THEIR FINEST BEACH THREADS, ASTRID CAN MAKE THEM FOREVER YOUNG! :D
Adult Ruby! Awww!! She's the pretties. :D No top lip to speak of though. Poor dear.
As a pleasure sim, I'm thinking such muted lights will be the norm for her (or disco lights even!) so it'll even out the jawline and with a little bit of makeup she'll be dancing hard, breaking hearts, taking names -- for the little black book only, PLEASE.
Ooh my little pretty one, pretty one.
When you gonna give me some time, AMBER-ERRRR?
Hey if Rhianna can stick an extra syllable in Umbrella, and still have a world-wide hit and a lucrative Covergirl side-venture, then I can has some of that action too. Albeit in a little Sims 2 caption-fest without world-wide recognition and no contract at all.
Uh... Soo... Anyway...
Ooh you make my motor run, my motor run.
Gun it comin' off the line AMBER-ERRRR...!!!
Okay, I so totally called it. *dies* That shit right there gives her even more aspiration than getting her FIRST KISS. Which she didn't get yet because all the boys at school were neither rich enough, stinky enough (moth balls, stale milky tea and Old Spice or BUST!), or grey-haired enough for our Amber.
I think we need to get her to hang out down by the old folks home. Cut her teeth, so to speak, on some of the more soft-touch wrinklies there. No harm in that, there's MUCH worse ways to go. *whistles*
Saul: Congrats on being in love with me, honey
GOD YOU TWO >_>;;
Its early spring, there's still patches of snow in the ground, and the odd snowflake or two falling from the heavens, and Astrid choses to take a nap in her bathers by the pool. I don't care if she IS half alien and ALREADY the colour of frozen people. Doesn't that just make it worse? If she's frozen here, HOW COULD WE TELL?!?! *fretfret*
About now I wish adult sims could scoop up their sleeping children and put them directly in their own beds. ;_;
PLEASE TO BE ADDING THAT TO THE SIMS 3, K EAXIS? I want that and I want "scoot" for beds, so you can put double beds against walls and still have two people use it. SURELY THAT CAN'T BE THAT HARD! You do it on the couches and in the hot tubs already. >_>;; /endrant
What is this, international kids sleep outside day or something?! YOU HAVE BEDS, INSIDE. IN YOUR WARMED HOUSE.
Hey, Dane suffers a little from textbook Sims2 brow ridge. I never noticed that before. I don't think Saul has a brow-ridge. Wow, he got Vanessa's hair, lips AND brow? EEEE! Her genes live on after all!
You know, I think they do have some facial similarities. KEWLIES! Though with the shading and without a higher clothing neck/long hair, Amber's head kind of looks like its been cut out and pasted onto her body ^_^;;
So Ruby wanted a date, and I thought, what the hell, I haven't every used the matchmaker before, lets give this shit a shot! :D
They've got scads of money, so I thought, why not try 4k and see what happens..? :D
WHOA! Ruby's a lesbian??!
*checks ACR stats*
ZOMG! RUBY'S A LESBIAN! Well in that case, the matchmaker came through with AWESOME. Well HELLO THERE PRETTY VACATIONIE! Gonna love Ruby long time? :D
So they say all girls want to marry their fathers, so in her case surely that translates to mother? She's all hottie kimono-clad visitor from across the seas, just like ma mummy only blonde? INSTATRACTION™!!!! *lightning bolts out the wazoo* Upon first greeting, BlondeAsian is rightbackatchaaa at the Ruby package. Throughout the date all she wanted to do was get into the photo booth with Ruby. As often and as much as possible.
Making his appearance in this series of The Breeder, its EmoCamoRaverJonas. HI JONAS!! How's your cutie sister, Pen-Pen? She a vampire yet?! :DDD
Whoa! Some teen walk-by came past and someone welcomed her into the home. I wondered at one point where she'd gone and discovered this. Can kids even 'hang out' ?? Dane's such a little player..! *gasp*
Dane: Come on over, I'll show you the world, or atleast a papier mache replica of one bb.
Astrid's in training..! She can hurl a dart with terrifying speed and accuracy. And she ALREADY knows how to co-ordinate to match her weapons of choice. That's my girl. Fashion is still important, even when one is fighting slobbering hordes of marauding marauders. *nods* If you're gonna die in the heat of battle, die FABULOUS!
DENIM + BUG + OLD NEWSPAPER + TONGUE = ENDLESS SQUEE!
Observe his little swipey paw of +20 to swipeyness. The tongue out in STEELY concentration..! *bes goo*
Dane? What are you so intruiged about? Are-- Are you squelching something that used to be alive? *eyebrow knots*
FALSE ALARM! He's bouncing up and down on an ever-expanding puddle that appears to be coming UP from the drain. Either that or BOTH the drains pictured here = FAIL. Fire your plumber, guys. Do it now.
SO CUTE! Their faces are so different. I'm not used to that since doing these breeder experiments XD
Wait. If Astrid is the coming saviour of mankind, and Dane is Macaulay Culkin The Good Son.. Does this mean they're gonna get all cliche Only 12 Unique Stories In the World and be the leaders of the opposing forces? NUUUUUUUUU!!!
I am so subverting this shit. Dane? You're getting 2.5 kids and living your life out in the suburbs in a lovely home with all the mod-cons and you're gonna hone a robot inventing hobby. If you create sentient Robots they'll be for service duties only. But they'll still be able to get their rocks off, so that they've got no reason to indulge in Robot Uprising. *learns from Kevin Smith* K?
Carry on. ^_^
BEHOLD THE ONCE AND FUTURE QUEEN, The teenage years.
Oh me oh my such gorgeousness <333333333333 Our regent is a snow bunny..? Typical.
So, is it just me, or does he totally look like a family sim already, even though he's just a teen. He's got.. Something about him... I dunno... Oh, and I totall called it, its exactly what he rolled. XD
Oh and look, he grew up and lost Vanessa's lips and got his dad's instead.
EE!! Denim grows up, and is NOT a clone! YES! *high fives everyone* He looks AWESOME! So mottled -- and look his one dark ear is the opposite one to Jaquard and Damask's! :D ILUDENIM!
He's got some SERIOUS crazy though. As soon as he popped adult he started rolling around on the floor like a big, dopey kitten. D'AWWWWWWWW!!!!!! Could you seriously get any cuter?
So... IMPATIENCE! THY NAME IS NETT! I decided enough is enough, imma growing up Dane and Astrid to see what they look like as adults (but I aint saving it, cause Astrid deserves her teen years. Yes, I indulge LIBERALLY in favouritism, What of it? XD
So, uh, you're a pretty damn hot adult, Dane. You could look a a TAD more excited about it...
WHOA! O_O;;; Don't go breaking a blood vessel though O_O;;;;;
Astrid! My delicious, gorgeous baby! *clings* Poolside once again, checking on the cocoons I guess. XD
Getting into this gorgeous water makes Astrid ANGRY..! ^_^;;
Me: Why the long face, honey??
Astrid: Amber's been bathing her geriatrics in my pool. 'S cheaper than viagra. Smells like over-brewed sweet tea and Old Spice.
Me: *sweatdrop*
ASTRID SAYS: SLIDE! /Jack's flightless power animal
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And with that we come to the end of The Breeder 2.0. The results? 10% FUG, 10% COAL MINES, 80% GORGEOUS!
I really think the disclaimer can come off of Salus. XD
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CONTINUED Caution to Dial up Peoples (and those on very crappy adsl1 *pets moonlapse *: about 65 piccies - You're looking at around a 3meg download. Not too much I'll grant you but it could be painful for some.