Comments | boeluen: Medical blah blah

boeluen

Medical blah blah

May 04, 2007 09:33

I started chemo again yesterday afternoon.
There's a new oncologist who has joined the team. He was quite pleasant, asking questions about the surgery, about how I was feeling both after the surgery and now.... He confirmed that I had lost quite a bit of weight and has prescribed some medical protein booster suppplement proven to help patients that ( Read more... )

side effects, operation, fear, chemo

Comments 18

mauvaise_etoile May 4 2007, 11:31:36 UTC

You are stronger than a scar! But you have every right to be upset about it. I'd imagine it's a reminder everytime you look at it. Every time I read about what you're going through I think about how strong you are. Remember that instead. *big, big hugs*

It must be frustrating to not know all the details of your own surgery, but I think you've the right attitude: the doctor probably didn't want you to have incomplete information.

boeluen May 4 2007, 13:22:41 UTC

Thanks so much. *hugs* Some days are more difficult than others. I've spoken a lot to Froggy about my fears and feelings, and I thought that I was ok. Yesterday, being at the hospital again, just seemed to bring everything back. I know I'll feel better after I've spoken with the surgeon and once my treatment is decided.

canutius May 4 2007, 11:32:15 UTC

First of all, a slight rant - WTF Woman (not you) A scar across your waist? Pardon? I can't even see mine from my gall bladder surgery! It's right next to my belly button and is virtually bloody non-existant. Was her doctor Frankenstein or something? Besides, I read that and think "how vain". It was quite literally the first thought that popped into my head. Not that you are vain, mind, I just think that to get upset about a tiny scar for a surgery like that is a little over done.

Secondly, I have the most hideous scar on my knee that bothered me for a while, but you get used to it. Now when people ask me what I did to my knee, it takes a minute to register what they're on about. You forget and it becomes part of you. Scars make you more interesting. Look on them as a reminder of your strength. You made it, even if you did get a few scars along the way. You had the strength to get through something that most people would quale at the thought of.

*hugs*

boeluen May 4 2007, 13:39:21 UTC

Oh Canute I'm right there with you. I think I've got Mel Gibson (Re. Lethal Weapon) beat when it comes to scars. I'm covered in them - and they're far from discreet. A bad car accident in '92 left me with several reminders but they've never really bothered me. They are a great reminder of my survival!

I agree with you about the woman on the news: in my heart of hearts I knew she was just vain. And to be fair I'm thrilled that a new surgical technique exists that doesn't maim the skin. If that technique were possible for me the adhesions wouldn't even be an issue. Unfortunately, the liver is just a bit too big to be slicing and dicing and dragging through my nether-regions. Besides, removing a gallbladder and removing a part of a vital organ - well I'm not norus but I don't think that's possible.

I'm very lucky to be loved for who I am "warts and all". *hugs*

PS. What's post-gallbladder surgery like - just in case they decide to remove that too?

canutius May 4 2007, 13:52:40 UTC

Well, I'm a total weenie, so it hurt. I also have trouble with aenesthetics (or how ever you spell that), so it took a while for me to wake up properly. I got there in the end though. I'm sure you'd do splendidly. The only part that was annoying for a while was that the incision was right where my jeans hit, so I had to wear loose trousers for a while. I never did notice anything about not being able to eat fatty foods (unfortunately) or any of that. As far as my head is concerned, it's still there, or I'm just not noticing that it isn't.

After what you've been through, it will be a cinch.

boeluen May 4 2007, 18:55:50 UTC

Oooh do I know the incision at the jeans level - I'm wearing jeans already but that's only because I lost so much weight that they're baggy on me. After my first two operations it was jogging pants and loose trousers for several months.

Following along with my stitch dedication: the one next to my belly button - on the right - has your name on it.

Thread 5

claresheppard May 4 2007, 13:04:59 UTC

A challenge for you: get a notebook. For every stitch you can see in your scar I want you to think of something you like about yourself, something you've achieved, something that makes you happy, something you're thankful for or someone who loves you (I'll gladly "sponsor a stitch!") and assosciate that thought with that stitch. Write them all in the notebook. You can do this all at the one time if you've got the time, or one stitch at a time every time you look at it, but please do it. Let it be a symbol of ALL the success of your life and remember them every time you see it.

You're the strongest person I know. this can't beat you.

Much love! x
PS. Would naming it be out of the question? I'm thinking Gladys?

(The comment has been removed)

claresheppard May 4 2007, 13:51:29 UTC

Oh yay! Thank you!

I'm glad I could help! *hugs*...is it a no to Gladys then? :p

x

boeluen May 4 2007, 18:52:32 UTC

Umm well - if if were to name this scar I think Gladys would do fine - hehehe and now that you've got that gem in my mind I'm sure I'll think of it too when I look at your stitch!

Thread 7

bird_mom May 4 2007, 19:03:24 UTC

Aww sweetie - scars have a way of fading over time. And apparantly, one can have botox injected into the scar at an early point and apparantly it helps to reduce the tension created when the skin is healing, therefore making the scar a bit less prominant. I guess it was on the news a month ago? Can't remember for sure, but try googling botox with scars and you might find something about the study online. I know it's hard for you, but if it's any help, I remember how crappy I felt after I came out of an ICU when medication went wrong for me, but considering the alternative the scars and marks are proof that one is among the living and intends to stay that way for some time to come.

boeluen May 5 2007, 12:19:35 UTC

Ummmm I'm 100% anti-needles and even feeling sorry for myself over pink railroad tracks isn't going to change that. (But thank you for the advice - it's interesting to know.)

After my accident in '92 my dad asked me if I wanted hair implants because I have a scar that goes across the top of my head from ear to ear and my hair won't grow back on it. I said no back then and whenever anyone noticed it (I don't say this anymore) I used to say that I had had a lobotomy. I got quite a number of funny looks until they realised that I was joking.

Whenever I see the word botox I think of my naturally huge lips (which adorn my big mouth) and the women who suffer needles to bloat their own. Now that is weird.

The Soli stitch is six across on the right side of the belly button.

dead_sexydexy May 4 2007, 21:57:27 UTC

*huggles* I ditto pretty much everything that's been said so far. You're a stong and inspiring person. I love the notebook idea too.

boeluen May 5 2007, 13:13:39 UTC

Thanks for your support! We've all got stuff that we're going through - sometimes is physical other times it's emotional and frequently it's both. It's such a blessing to have friends who, with just a few words, help you get over the hump.

I read something great on Immy yesterday that made me laugh *looks disdainfully at Hermione* Oh cry me a river, build me a bridge and get over it. *rolls eyes* (IMP: Meggy/Adara Rose).

The Dexy stitch is four to the right of the belly button. I think I'm going to get my notebook started right away - to keep track of all the stitches!