"Knights, Kings and Sparrows"

[blueiris08]

Title: “Knights, Kings and Sparrows”
Rating: R for language
Pairings/characters: Sam, Dean, Castiel. Genfic.
Word Count: 5300
Episode/Spoilers: “Heaven and Hell,” with general references to other Season 4 episodes.
Summary: “‘Let him speak,’ Castiel commanded, like they didn’t all know he couldn’t shut Sam up with anything less than a tranquilizer

Comments

[crashcmb]

That's awesome - very well thought out and constructed. I can hear the dialog and it sounds very true to character. Thanks for sharing!

[blueiris08]

It was very much my pleasure to write it. Characterization was a challenge with Castiel, especially with the softer interactions between him and Sam, which don't come from on-screen scenes. So it's very good to hear that in the comments.

[supernatrlmommy]

I loved this! You really did a great job nailing the guys' voices and I loved, loved, loved you bringing out Sam's knowledge here. And what knowledge it was ... very well done! I'm impressed.

[blueiris08]

Thank you! Castiel's voice was a challenge on multiple levels, so I'm really glad to hear that it worked for some readers. The show hasn't revealed anything about Sam's knowledge of scripture one way or the other, but it seemed likely that he would've been reading the Bible a lot if he'd held onto his faith while Dean was gone.

Thank you again for taking the time to comment.

[erinrua]

Wow. This is the most fascinating and thoughtful Sam-Castiel interaction I've seen ... maybe ever! I love how you dove headlong into all the hard questions, and made them as hard to ask as to answer. Sam is more than a little scary, here, but all his questions and anger *have* to be things he's struggled with, and you've done such a terrific job of playing it all out.

Just one small critisism ... There are a number of places where you say "he" when you mean "Dean," but the pronoun use is obscure enough that I have to read the phrases two or three times, and study the context, to discern if it's Dean or Sam speaking. So maybe look at that, or ask a beta to give it a squint?

Technicalities aside, this is really thought-provoking stuff, and marvelous use of Scripture! Thank you for this!

[blueiris08]

Just one small critisism ... There are a number of places where you say "he" when you mean "Dean," but the pronoun use is obscure enough that I have to read the phrases two or three times, and study the context, to discern if it's Dean or Sam speaking.

I knew that might happen--thank you so much for telling me. The problem arises because, for various reasons, I never use Dean's name when writing from inside his head--he's always 'he' unless someone else is referring to or addressing him. The potential obscurity is manageable when the fic just has Sam and Dean, but it was far more difficult with three or four male characters on stage. Believe it or not, I checked every single pronoun in the story with an eye toward that, but if you had to read sentences two or three times, something wasn't working. I've tweaked the first few paragraphs to make it clear from the first sentence that Dean is the narrator, and again, I'm glad you let me know.

Wow. This is the most fascinating and thoughtful Sam-Castiel interaction I've seen ...

[erinrua]

The problem arises because, for various reasons, I never use Dean's name when writing from inside his head--he's always 'he' unless someone else is referring to or addressing him. The potential obscurity is manageable when the fic just has Sam and Dean, but it was far more difficult with three or four male characters on stage. Believe it or not, I checked every single pronoun in the story with an eye toward that, but if you had to read sentences two or three times, something wasn't working. Oh, I understand! :-) I think it's just that, as a reader, it's clear we're seeing from Dean's POV, but since it's not 1st person, we lose track of which "he" we're talking about, when we're looking at two or three people. Anyhow, I think this is the first time I've ever noticed this when reading your fics, so I'm sure it was simply this story, and perhaps the number of people involved in a given scene. Anyhow, LOL, I apologise if I was nit-picky. ;-) I only pick on stories that I think are so good that a wee flaw is like seeing lint on a

[tahirire]

The gravelly voice was low and calm, and the angel looked…earnest. Really, really earnest. “It would be a tragedy if you lost the faith that Azazel and Lilith could not destroy,” he said, “because you sought guidance from those with little ability to give it.”

And that's where I started crying.

Gorgeous. Oh, Sam. *wibbles into a puddle*

[blueiris08]

And that's where I started crying.
Me too. :) Thank you so much for letting me know.

[darksilvercat]

Oh wow. This was pure awesome.

*wants something very similar to this on Show*

[blueiris08]

I wish they'd at least give us a moment like at the end of "Houses of the Holy." We could use at least a little more insight into something that seems so important to Sam.