your mouth moves like a shadow, and i try to follow. you are there in the morning with two cups of coffee in your hands, you are there sitting across from me at a table at lunch. you are putting in a different cd in the stereo in your car, washing the dishes in your sink, using your phone, sitting beside me on your couch, laughing between scenes, ( Read more... )

PapaNolan1: gang bang when i get back!!!!

hahhahaha. i cant wait.

i am moving counter clockwise, sliding farther away from the places i want to be. i lay awake at night to regulate my breathing. he says he feels my heartbeat beneath the sheets. i am regressing. i become absent-minded, sleepless, quieter, sick. he is frustrated. "i hate that taste," he says. my throat clenches, an apology would only be repetitive ( Read more... )

i am overwhelmed by words. there are days that go by without the sound of human voices. i am living in silence, i am waiting to be swallowed whole. i sleep, ignore the phone, become too warm, wake up with chills. what is it that makes me want to put my head down and cry into my palms. what is it that makes me want to fold up my heart, bury myself ( Read more... )

in other words... let me just say thank you for tonight. it was exactly what i needed. something to take my mind off of everything and actually enjoy myself. even if i have to flash my friends to have fun, its a whole lot better than laying around at home. i want everyday to be like today.

SHOW US YOUR GOODIES!

I am afraid to open my eyes because i worry that i will find my abdominal cavity is nothing but exposed nerves and muscle tissue. i am consumed with this; fear, dependency, hopelessness. what do you do when you know she deserves better? laugh. because i know i deserve better too ( Read more... )

the walls swirl in around me and i shut myself off. lately i've been spending my time scraping the dirt off my skin. now i can live through my dreams, and last night i dreamt the sea decided to take me by the fingers and these carcinogous sun beams and all the snow that has collected your soul can melt away and you can be new. and i'm going to be ( Read more... )

Numerous times. My universe collided, only this time... it didnt rebuild itself like it has in the past ( Read more... )

He and I press our faces and palms together like I did when I was a child, eat cherry popsicles with jokes on the sticks (Where do cows go on dates? What do books carry when they leave home?) because it's almost summer again and we will soon be hanging out routinely, and still stupid, and still together ( Read more... )

my doctor got mad at me for wearing 4 shirts today because he said it was too hard to manuever his stethescope(sp?) around my back. oh well. hes cool so i just laughed at him. then we talked about how much i hate school... not really the school part, just some of the people. he then told me if i continued to ignore the things he told me, i would ( Read more... )