for someone who's trying to get more into writing, i definitely don't write enough. my life's been sorta hectic lately, going both good and bad. for a while the government was trying to say i owed them $10,737 (after they seized $2,014 from me)it took me a few months, but i finally got cleared of what they said i owed them. unfortunate to say, i ( Read more... )

it's been to damn long since i posted, well over a year. so lets catch up on life then. over the past year and a half/2 years, i'd been struggling with hard drugs. i've been clean of hard drugs for about 3 months now. i had also developed the bad habit of chain smoking (about a pack a day), but i've also managed to kick that habit. most, if not ( Read more... )

OMG!!!! i got into the only college i applied to!!! im so fucking happy!!!

i dunno what it is inside me, but its slowly killing me. my health has been declining, my depression has been taking hold again, I've started to smoke 3x as much as i used to; i just dunno what it is. i thought as time went by, it might get better, maybe its just a phase, a low point in your life, maybe karma, but it can't be. it's just been ( Read more... )

i fuck my life up way too much...

ya know, i really thought my 18th birthday would be cool. that it would feel special. i'm finally a man. but that's not how i feel at all. i'm feeling more depressed then i have in a long long time....

i don't know who i am anymore. i don't feel myself. i feel hollow, and cold. im not happy with my ife anymore, fuck, it doesn't even feel like its my life anymore. i just wish i knew how to fix this, all my thoughts aren't healthy for me. maybe ill just go ahead and do it.

i hate it when your hanging with soem freidns drinkign and smoking a little and they go completely out of control and make a huge mess of your place. ugh. ive been cleaning up after them and making sure they didn't break anything almost all day.

i hate being betrayed.... it pisses me off so fucking much

tonight wasn't as good as i had planned it. i went to BAGLY, which i love to go to, and i just didn't have a good time. in fact, i should have had a great time, but for some reason i didn't. the first 2-2:30 hours was great, but after that it felt liek it was going all downhill to me. after it i was in a pretty shitty mood, so me and monica went to ( Read more... )