Fic: Supernatural: Dean/Future Cas: "The Long Road Back" (8/28)
As promised an earlier update than normal :) I hope everyone who celebrates had a great July 4th!
Special thank you to weslyn For helping me a lot on understanding addiction, and for being an awesome beta.
Title: The Long Road Back
Author: Nicole
Rating: R (maybe NC-17 later to be safe)
Chapters: 8/28 (i'm still doing a lot of editing so this might change a bit)
Warnings: language,violence, drug use, eventual slash
Spoilers: only up to 5 X 4 (but you'll see me draw from information we found out later)
Characters/Pairings: focus on Dean/Future Cas but also Risa, Chuck, OC's, LuciferSam, and future Dean.
Disclaimer: Supernatural is not mine and I don't own anything but the errors.
Summary: AU 5 X 04 The End fic. In many ways this will be a fix it story (but not in all ways). Dean stops his future self from sending Cas and the others into a trap and Zachariah seems to be missing in action. Dean has to figure out where to go from here.
A/N: This fic has been consuming my brain in a good way. I really wanted to play around in this world, i love apocalyptic type settings, and i thought it would be a good way to keep myself busy during the hiatus. This story is going to have action,violence, and some death but the focus of this fic will be a slowly evolving love story in the middle of a world gone to hell between a certain hunter and a certain fallen angel. If you have a problem with that, don't read it.
Word count: 1793 (44,000 total)
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
The next morning things were looking a bit better. Cas was up and moving for one. He was still a bit pale, and his movements sluggish, but least he wasn’t swallowing a bottle of pills.
“Hey.” Cas gave him a tired smile.
“Hey, yourself.” Dean slapped Cas on the back, then walked over and took a long drink of water.
He had been worried he’d feel uncomfortable being around, Cas, but honestly, he didn’t. The only thing Dean was worried about was losing their friendship. Over the past few days here, he’d really come to depend on this Castiel. He didn’t want to lose the one good thing he had here.
It was tempting to not bring it up, to just let it go, but that wasn’t going to work. They had to talk about this. Sooner or later. The air needed to be cleared.
He offered the jug to Cas, who gave him a weak smile, then took a long drink of his own.
“You’re still here,” Cas said softly while fidgeting with a loose thread on his shirt.
“Yeah. I live here. Where else would I be?” Dean paused, debating on his next course of action. Looked like it would be sooner rather than later. “You’re still okay with that, right? Me living here?
“Yes,” Cas gave him a sincere smile.
Dean returned it. “Awesome.”
They both sat down for breakfast, it was beginning to feel like a tradition.
Sharing a meal.
It wasn’t something Dean had ever done much, usually it was eat and run. It was nice to sit down, talk, and eat with someone he felt close to.
“Sorry, it’s just energy bars again today.”
Dean took a bite. “Beggars can’t be choosers. Besides we’re going to remedy that real soon.”
There was doubt written all over Cas’s face. “He agreed to help?”
Dean shifted his legs. “Not exactly. And after I beat him into a pulp yesterday, I’d say he’s probably not going to.”
“It‘s not your fault. I doubt he would‘ve helped anyway, but we had to try.”
Dean cleared his throat. Men, especially Winchester men, did not do talk. “Cas, I think we need to… discuss… what happened yesterday.”
“I know.”
“Okay,” Dean prompted.
“What do you want me to say, Dean?”
Dean took a deep breath and reminded himself if he didn‘t do this, he might lose his friend to those fucking drugs. “How about your side of things?”
“My side,” Cas began to wring his hands. His eyes drifted away, focusing on a spot Dean knew had a bottle of pills in it- he’d found it last night while Cas was sleeping. Dean didn’t think, he just reached out, putting his hands over Castiel’s. That’s when he noticed that Cas’s hands were trembling.
“It’s okay. Whatever it is, it’s okay. I can take it.” Dean found himself saying. Apparently, worry for a friend could seriously help someone get in touch with their sensitive side.
Cas looked down, then slowly turned his hands over so their palms were touching. He paused, probably waiting to see if Dean would pull away. He didn’t. Dean tried not to think about this being awkward. Friends could touch. They could hug, offer comfort.
Dean wasn’t going to let this insane situation make him pull away from a friend in need.
Then Cas intertwined their fingers together.
Dean knew this should have been weird, but somehow it wasn‘t as bad as he thought it would be. That in itself was a bit scary, but Dean ignored that little voice in the back of his head that said dudes don’t do this. Cas was more important than his own discomfort.
Then Cas began to speak, his eyes remained glued to their clasped hands, almost as if he were drawing strength from it.
“I’m not sure exactly what he told you, but it happened a little over two years ago. Bobby had just died not long before. It was a hard loss for us all. He was a good friend to me.”
Cas fell silent for a moment, his mouth twitched, and he licked his lips. For a moment Dean worried he was going to clam up, then he pressed on. “Our Dean showed up at my doorstep late at night. I knew he was drunk, I could smell it coming off of him. When he kissed me I should have known it wasn’t real.”
He paused, and took several breaths. “I didn’t want to believe he’d hurt me like that. I thought, maybe the alcohol had given him the courage to finally approach me. I’d gotten a little more…obvious about my…feelings, since losing my grace. So I kissed him back.”
There was another short pause, followed by the sound of Cas swallowing. Dean squeezed his hands. That seemed to work because Cas started back up again. “Then I was on the floor because he’d broken my nose. I heard them all laughing. I’ve never been so… lost.”
When he finished, he finally looked up and met Dean’s eyes.
Dean squeezed Cas’s hands even more tightly. “Damn. Risa was right. Men are dicks.”
That did it. The tension was broken and they were both laughing.
“We gonna be okay, Cas?”
Cas’s smile was shaky, but warm. “I hope so.”
Remember friend in need here, being manly isn‘t going to get the job done. “If I give you a hug are you going to get all sappy on me?” Dean asked as he closed the distance between them, not waiting for an answer.
Cas melted against him, burying his face into his shoulder. That little voice reared its head again. He told it to shut up.
“Cas.” Dean’s mouth suddenly went very dry. Talking about feelings was not something that came naturally for, Dean. But he knew this needed to be said and Cas needed to hear it. He deserved to hear it. Hell, hearing it might save his life.
“You know I do…care about you.” Dean gently pulled out of the embrace and made his friend look at him.
Cas took a shuddering breath. “Thank you. I know how much that cost you.”
Dean shook his head. “I‘ll live.”
“Dean.” Cas’s eyes burned with intensity.
Dean cut him off with a jab to the shoulder. “It doesn’t matter to me, you know. What the other me said about you… and stuff. I’m not - it doesn’t bother me, okay?”
Cas smiled weakly, nodding his head acceptingly.
“And I also need to say this. I am sorry for what I-he did.” Dean knew there was no way his alter ego would ever apologize, and he had a feeling it was one more thing that Cas really needed to hear.
Cas shook his head and started to protest.
“I know, I know. I didn’t do it. I don’t care. I’m sorry anyway.”
Cas looked like he wanted to argue, but instead he simply nodded. “Apology accepted,” then he studied him quietly for a moment. “There’s something else, isn’t there?”
“That’s really scary you know that?”
Cas grinned.
“Yeah Mr. Magician, there is something else.” Dean‘s face turned deadly serious. “I swear to you, I will not become him, ever.”
Cas did that thing where he seemed to look right into his soul again. “I believe you.”
“Okay.” Dean stood up. “That’s enough of this. We’re worse than a freaking hallmark card commercial.”
“Is that your way of changing the subject?” Cas smiled up at him.
“Hell yes it is.”
Cas laughed and got to his feet. “Don’t worry, I promise I’ll never tell anyone that underneath your tough exterior, you’re really just a marshmallow.”
“I have no idea what you‘re talking about feathers. I‘m as bad ass as they come.”
“Feathers? Is that the best you could come up with?”
“Shut up .”
****
Risa, Mark, and Chuck watched them both warily as they walked into the building Dean had started thinking of as the bat cave.
“Everything okay?” Risa asked.
“Freaking fantastic.” Dean said while slapping down a map of Kansas city on the table.
No one said anything.
Dean coughed, and got down to business. “Well folks, the other me just told me to go blow myself.”
Cas snorted, then brushed against him as he walked by. He sat down, put his feet up, and said, “It looks like we’re going to have to do this the hard way. ”
“Nothing new about that.” Chuck grumbled.
“Thank you, Captain Obvious.” Dean grabbed a pen and made an X in three different spots on the map. “I can tell you these areas were a complete mess, nothing usable that I noticed, and they were infested.”
“The entire cities infested.” Mark spat. “ Without that information, we’re screwed.”
“Well we’re not going to get it, so why don’t you stop bitching about it, and help us come up with a plan.” Dean snarled.
“He’s right.” Risa said. “We have to do this, if we don’t people start starving soon.”
Cas took his feet down, and sat up straight. He rubbed at the stubble on his face, then held out his hand.
Dean placed the pen in it. He made a circle in several spots. “Those are my best guesses as to where we should search. They’re in areas that are farthest away from where the other Dean planned to hea-”
“Why don’t we call him Bizzaro Dean? Like Superman‘s creepy twin.” Dean blurted.
Cas gave Dean the best “what the fuck” expression he’d ever seen.
“What? You need some way to let people know who you’re talking about. This way, there won‘t be any confusion.”
“Wow.” Cas replied. “Okay. Why not?”
Dean grinned.
The others gave each other confused looks.
Cas just went with it. “These are the areas farthest away from where Bizzaro Dean planned to head that should have what we need. I can’t know for sure he didn’t change his mind, and hit these sections, but it‘s what they‘d discussed.”
“They?” Risa asked.
“Dea-Bizzaro Dean and the others he took along for the ride. I was originally supposed to go with them, but things changed.”
Cas reached into his jacket, pulled out a flask, and took a long drink.
Dean felt that surge of hatred towards his alter ego again.
“This is great, Cas.”
Cas twirled the pen a few times. “I don’t know about that, but it’s something anyway.”
The others all nodded.
“Sit down everyone, we’ve got work to do.” Dean said.
They spent the next hour planning the route they’d take once they arrived, who would go where, and what they needed most.
A lot of it hinged on guess work, but at least it was a plan.
Next Chapter
Feel free to friend this journal for the insanity :P
Comments are loved and adored. It's nice to know people are reading/enjoying this :)
Special thank you to weslyn For helping me a lot on understanding addiction, and for being an awesome beta.
Title: The Long Road Back
Author: Nicole
Rating: R (maybe NC-17 later to be safe)
Chapters: 8/28 (i'm still doing a lot of editing so this might change a bit)
Warnings: language,violence, drug use, eventual slash
Spoilers: only up to 5 X 4 (but you'll see me draw from information we found out later)
Characters/Pairings: focus on Dean/Future Cas but also Risa, Chuck, OC's, LuciferSam, and future Dean.
Disclaimer: Supernatural is not mine and I don't own anything but the errors.
Summary: AU 5 X 04 The End fic. In many ways this will be a fix it story (but not in all ways). Dean stops his future self from sending Cas and the others into a trap and Zachariah seems to be missing in action. Dean has to figure out where to go from here.
A/N: This fic has been consuming my brain in a good way. I really wanted to play around in this world, i love apocalyptic type settings, and i thought it would be a good way to keep myself busy during the hiatus. This story is going to have action,violence, and some death but the focus of this fic will be a slowly evolving love story in the middle of a world gone to hell between a certain hunter and a certain fallen angel. If you have a problem with that, don't read it.
Word count: 1793 (44,000 total)
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
The next morning things were looking a bit better. Cas was up and moving for one. He was still a bit pale, and his movements sluggish, but least he wasn’t swallowing a bottle of pills.
“Hey.” Cas gave him a tired smile.
“Hey, yourself.” Dean slapped Cas on the back, then walked over and took a long drink of water.
He had been worried he’d feel uncomfortable being around, Cas, but honestly, he didn’t. The only thing Dean was worried about was losing their friendship. Over the past few days here, he’d really come to depend on this Castiel. He didn’t want to lose the one good thing he had here.
It was tempting to not bring it up, to just let it go, but that wasn’t going to work. They had to talk about this. Sooner or later. The air needed to be cleared.
He offered the jug to Cas, who gave him a weak smile, then took a long drink of his own.
“You’re still here,” Cas said softly while fidgeting with a loose thread on his shirt.
“Yeah. I live here. Where else would I be?” Dean paused, debating on his next course of action. Looked like it would be sooner rather than later. “You’re still okay with that, right? Me living here?
“Yes,” Cas gave him a sincere smile.
Dean returned it. “Awesome.”
They both sat down for breakfast, it was beginning to feel like a tradition.
Sharing a meal.
It wasn’t something Dean had ever done much, usually it was eat and run. It was nice to sit down, talk, and eat with someone he felt close to.
“Sorry, it’s just energy bars again today.”
Dean took a bite. “Beggars can’t be choosers. Besides we’re going to remedy that real soon.”
There was doubt written all over Cas’s face. “He agreed to help?”
Dean shifted his legs. “Not exactly. And after I beat him into a pulp yesterday, I’d say he’s probably not going to.”
“It‘s not your fault. I doubt he would‘ve helped anyway, but we had to try.”
Dean cleared his throat. Men, especially Winchester men, did not do talk. “Cas, I think we need to… discuss… what happened yesterday.”
“I know.”
“Okay,” Dean prompted.
“What do you want me to say, Dean?”
Dean took a deep breath and reminded himself if he didn‘t do this, he might lose his friend to those fucking drugs. “How about your side of things?”
“My side,” Cas began to wring his hands. His eyes drifted away, focusing on a spot Dean knew had a bottle of pills in it- he’d found it last night while Cas was sleeping. Dean didn’t think, he just reached out, putting his hands over Castiel’s. That’s when he noticed that Cas’s hands were trembling.
“It’s okay. Whatever it is, it’s okay. I can take it.” Dean found himself saying. Apparently, worry for a friend could seriously help someone get in touch with their sensitive side.
Cas looked down, then slowly turned his hands over so their palms were touching. He paused, probably waiting to see if Dean would pull away. He didn’t. Dean tried not to think about this being awkward. Friends could touch. They could hug, offer comfort.
Dean wasn’t going to let this insane situation make him pull away from a friend in need.
Then Cas intertwined their fingers together.
Dean knew this should have been weird, but somehow it wasn‘t as bad as he thought it would be. That in itself was a bit scary, but Dean ignored that little voice in the back of his head that said dudes don’t do this. Cas was more important than his own discomfort.
Then Cas began to speak, his eyes remained glued to their clasped hands, almost as if he were drawing strength from it.
“I’m not sure exactly what he told you, but it happened a little over two years ago. Bobby had just died not long before. It was a hard loss for us all. He was a good friend to me.”
Cas fell silent for a moment, his mouth twitched, and he licked his lips. For a moment Dean worried he was going to clam up, then he pressed on. “Our Dean showed up at my doorstep late at night. I knew he was drunk, I could smell it coming off of him. When he kissed me I should have known it wasn’t real.”
He paused, and took several breaths. “I didn’t want to believe he’d hurt me like that. I thought, maybe the alcohol had given him the courage to finally approach me. I’d gotten a little more…obvious about my…feelings, since losing my grace. So I kissed him back.”
There was another short pause, followed by the sound of Cas swallowing. Dean squeezed his hands. That seemed to work because Cas started back up again. “Then I was on the floor because he’d broken my nose. I heard them all laughing. I’ve never been so… lost.”
When he finished, he finally looked up and met Dean’s eyes.
Dean squeezed Cas’s hands even more tightly. “Damn. Risa was right. Men are dicks.”
That did it. The tension was broken and they were both laughing.
“We gonna be okay, Cas?”
Cas’s smile was shaky, but warm. “I hope so.”
Remember friend in need here, being manly isn‘t going to get the job done. “If I give you a hug are you going to get all sappy on me?” Dean asked as he closed the distance between them, not waiting for an answer.
Cas melted against him, burying his face into his shoulder. That little voice reared its head again. He told it to shut up.
“Cas.” Dean’s mouth suddenly went very dry. Talking about feelings was not something that came naturally for, Dean. But he knew this needed to be said and Cas needed to hear it. He deserved to hear it. Hell, hearing it might save his life.
“You know I do…care about you.” Dean gently pulled out of the embrace and made his friend look at him.
Cas took a shuddering breath. “Thank you. I know how much that cost you.”
Dean shook his head. “I‘ll live.”
“Dean.” Cas’s eyes burned with intensity.
Dean cut him off with a jab to the shoulder. “It doesn’t matter to me, you know. What the other me said about you… and stuff. I’m not - it doesn’t bother me, okay?”
Cas smiled weakly, nodding his head acceptingly.
“And I also need to say this. I am sorry for what I-he did.” Dean knew there was no way his alter ego would ever apologize, and he had a feeling it was one more thing that Cas really needed to hear.
Cas shook his head and started to protest.
“I know, I know. I didn’t do it. I don’t care. I’m sorry anyway.”
Cas looked like he wanted to argue, but instead he simply nodded. “Apology accepted,” then he studied him quietly for a moment. “There’s something else, isn’t there?”
“That’s really scary you know that?”
Cas grinned.
“Yeah Mr. Magician, there is something else.” Dean‘s face turned deadly serious. “I swear to you, I will not become him, ever.”
Cas did that thing where he seemed to look right into his soul again. “I believe you.”
“Okay.” Dean stood up. “That’s enough of this. We’re worse than a freaking hallmark card commercial.”
“Is that your way of changing the subject?” Cas smiled up at him.
“Hell yes it is.”
Cas laughed and got to his feet. “Don’t worry, I promise I’ll never tell anyone that underneath your tough exterior, you’re really just a marshmallow.”
“I have no idea what you‘re talking about feathers. I‘m as bad ass as they come.”
“Feathers? Is that the best you could come up with?”
“Shut up .”
****
Risa, Mark, and Chuck watched them both warily as they walked into the building Dean had started thinking of as the bat cave.
“Everything okay?” Risa asked.
“Freaking fantastic.” Dean said while slapping down a map of Kansas city on the table.
No one said anything.
Dean coughed, and got down to business. “Well folks, the other me just told me to go blow myself.”
Cas snorted, then brushed against him as he walked by. He sat down, put his feet up, and said, “It looks like we’re going to have to do this the hard way. ”
“Nothing new about that.” Chuck grumbled.
“Thank you, Captain Obvious.” Dean grabbed a pen and made an X in three different spots on the map. “I can tell you these areas were a complete mess, nothing usable that I noticed, and they were infested.”
“The entire cities infested.” Mark spat. “ Without that information, we’re screwed.”
“Well we’re not going to get it, so why don’t you stop bitching about it, and help us come up with a plan.” Dean snarled.
“He’s right.” Risa said. “We have to do this, if we don’t people start starving soon.”
Cas took his feet down, and sat up straight. He rubbed at the stubble on his face, then held out his hand.
Dean placed the pen in it. He made a circle in several spots. “Those are my best guesses as to where we should search. They’re in areas that are farthest away from where the other Dean planned to hea-”
“Why don’t we call him Bizzaro Dean? Like Superman‘s creepy twin.” Dean blurted.
Cas gave Dean the best “what the fuck” expression he’d ever seen.
“What? You need some way to let people know who you’re talking about. This way, there won‘t be any confusion.”
“Wow.” Cas replied. “Okay. Why not?”
Dean grinned.
The others gave each other confused looks.
Cas just went with it. “These are the areas farthest away from where Bizzaro Dean planned to head that should have what we need. I can’t know for sure he didn’t change his mind, and hit these sections, but it‘s what they‘d discussed.”
“They?” Risa asked.
“Dea-Bizzaro Dean and the others he took along for the ride. I was originally supposed to go with them, but things changed.”
Cas reached into his jacket, pulled out a flask, and took a long drink.
Dean felt that surge of hatred towards his alter ego again.
“This is great, Cas.”
Cas twirled the pen a few times. “I don’t know about that, but it’s something anyway.”
The others all nodded.
“Sit down everyone, we’ve got work to do.” Dean said.
They spent the next hour planning the route they’d take once they arrived, who would go where, and what they needed most.
A lot of it hinged on guess work, but at least it was a plan.
Next Chapter
Feel free to friend this journal for the insanity :P
Comments are loved and adored. It's nice to know people are reading/enjoying this :)