5.01 Sympathy for the Devil, part 3/3
( < go back to part uno)
( < go back to part dos)
*icons* This reminds me of a post I was gonna make that I forgot about! CAR SHOW! /tangent
When I first saw the sign, I thought the 24 hours was a clever play on the 42 dogs and then I realized that I am just that dyslexic and it would have to be open 24 hours in order for the boys to be allowed in at that time of night. *headesk*
LOOK AT THOSE DEAD MIDGETS ON THE FLOOR. I should write a fan letter and demand more parts for midgets that don't involve them being evil and dying. For GAWD.
"Oh, thank God, the angels are here with new security guards."
Hey, Sam.
You recall that time, don't you, when the angels showed up and Dean blasted them into hammerspace with his Sigil Ray Gun and then you made those handy hex bags to keep angels from finding you? With your learnings? It's not working out so great, is it?
P.S. See? Deus Ex Machinas aren't any better; using them just raises the stakes.
Hey, Dean.
You recall that time, don't you, when the angels showed up and you blasted them into hammerspace with your buddy Castiel's Sigil Ray Gun and then Sam made those handy hex bags to keep angels from finding you? With his learnings? And then you went and trusted someone (whom you thought you could trust) just a little too much since they've proven themselves so many times and now it has backfired on you?
P.S. Since nobody is rubbing that in yet... how's that working out for ya? It's like there's this bullseye on your back! *shocked face* However did it get there?
DEAN, YOU ARE AN ANGEL CONDOM THE BANANA KING! STICK A BANANA IN YOUR EAR; IT WORKS LIKE A PHONE! BLBLBLBLBLB.
DUH.
And it is written:
Anyway.... as I was saying, like with Father Gregory recruiting lost souls to do God's work, angels can't make you perform any task. You have to agree to do it. It's free will.
Which, if you think about it, demons aren't actually violating free will either. Sure, they do things a bit differently: they make deals which require consent but they also possess you without your permission. But if you didn't really want to do it and they forced you physically into it anyway, then that means you're not really responsible for what they do while they're in your body anyway. If you weren't imprisoned in your own body, you wouldn't choose to do those things. You still have free will.
Whereas you'd be an angel condom by consent, or coercion, so does the free will part make them more or less responsible for the actions they take? Ah, angelic loopholes. Just to point out the obvious, this finger looks pretty darn coercive to me, so I'm having trouble seeing the difference between the good guys and the bad guys, here. Oh wait, no, I do. The good guys are the ones who actually own up to their actions and take responsibility for the consequences of those actions and don't hide them in fear or wait for someone to fine them and slap them with bananas community service.
Stoic!Dean is stoic, unaffected by threats to his right eyeball.
Freaked!Sam is freaked that Dean isn't moving a muscle at the chance to relieve himself of responsibility and have the chance to say, "But the angels made me do it!" Also because just finding out that your brother, for whom you've gone to the extent of accidentallying the Apocalypse to save, is actually the Deus Ex Machina that you've been looking for all along ... has got to be a swift kick in the nads.
... speaking of which.
Dear Show,
This tally is getting ridiculous.
Q_Q
Trusting!Sam is trusting that Dean will make the right choice. He wouldn't want Dean to sacrifice himself just to save him and Bobby from never walking again. On the other hand, he would want Dean to do it if it could save them all from certain death. On the other other hand, he would never ask for that - he has no room to ask for such mercy... but there's a little glimmer of hope in his eyes that it would work. All in about .05 seconds.
Oh, JaredSam.
Haughty!Zachariah is CORN-FUSED.
HEY! LOOKIT!
WHAT DO YOU DREAM, DEAN?
Sam gasping and clutching his chest gives me angina, Show, cut it the hell out. I'm not kidding.
P.S. I'm really not.
I know that Dean has stage 4 stomach cancer here and he's coughing up blood - which feels a lot like that other time in Stepfordville when he suddenly bent over double (you know, back when we thought all hex bags were evil) and started coughing up blood everywhere and Sam started tearing the room to shreds and finally took off with the Deus Ex MachinaColt to find the perp and hoe them down and it was actually Bad News BearRuby who saved Dean in time to go save Sam from Mission Impossible - but all I can hear is innocent bystander Sam gasping in the corner... and I'm pretty sure that's all Dean hears, too.
Also, HEY LOOKIT AGAIN.
I'm getting a feeling that Sam's gasping is going to end with him not breathing... and Asshat is just getting started?
Dear Dean,
I love your snarky, pathetic, human face. I love how stubborn you are. I love that you'll do the right thing even when you don't really understand why it's right or care what might happen to you or to Sam as long as it means the two of you are whole in and of yourselves and in your right minds even when your bodies are all torn to shreds and did you know, Dean, that so does Sam I cried at this part because I was so overwhelmed with all of that? I'm right there with you on my couch.
*shivers*
But, Show, there's no Bobby now. There's only...
boys....
oh god, Sam's not breathing...
Wait. What?
MISHACASTIELLITERARYSYMMETRY! FTW!
Oh. Thank God, the angels are here.
Hey boys, now that you're, you know, not each terminal and DEAD (Show, SERIOUSLY?!), can you check in that coffin right there and see what's in it? It's been buggin' me for months. Thanks.
-Lid
P.S. Sam, watch where you're lookin', there.
"Cas! WhyHow are you alive? How did you know where we were? Why didn't you come faster? Why didn't you tell me I had ketchup on my face?!"
"Do you know that song? The one that goes, 'Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring BANANA PHONE'? Every day was Thursday and then I finally figured out that the great Z doesn't point to anywhere and that's when The Ninja Turtles showed up and told me I can haz one last cheezburger if I come down here and pwn some asshats. You know Them. Mr. Smith Zachariah and his agents security guards. Them's what tricked you into listening to fangirls and dudes in bathrobes and showing up here after you haxxor-rayed them into hammerspace the first time. Stupids."
"Bad News Bears will not save you now. Need bigger ganja." {{{ ZAP. }}}
Cas: "I took pumpkin carving lessons. These symbols will keep you from seeing the Great White Light and whatnot."
Dea: "Is it Enochian symbols?"
Cas: "No, it's LOLCAT."
Dea: "What? Oh, HALE NO."
Cas: "In Daniel 12, it is written:
1 Then Michael will hovr. All nayshuns will shout DO NOT WANT lyk rly loud srsly. But den ur peepl - evryone who is linkd to from dis blog - will be delivereded.
2 All ur kittehs who sleepeded in all our base will belong to us, some wil rise to eternal cheezburgers and some to perpechool invisible baffs.
3 Those nice kittehz will shine like the greases on teh cheezburgers forever
4 But you, Daniel, iz stale cheezburger til u stop showing me ur pokemanz an finish ur homeworkz which takes forever again. Then I can reed ur homeworkz and will increase my learnings.
5 Z0MG hold on I sees 2 d00ds standing next to teh riverz, one on each side which belong to them
6 One d00d said to another d00d hovring above teh watrs dresseded in linen, "like srsly when r they bringing out cheezburger v2.0?"
7 Teh linen d00d hadded buttsecks with the immortal kitteh and sez "a time lyk srsly guize one and a half timez. Sum1 has to breakeded the holy powr of teh holy peeplz which pwnt teh urfs.
8 I hearded but was like wtf. So I say to Ceiling Cat, "what happen next?"
9 He replied, "Go wai, Daniel, cuz u has finisheded ur homeworkz.
10 Sum ppl will eat moar cheezburgerz, but the ebil kittehs r still ebil kittehs. They DO NOT WANT understand, but the wiser kittehs who know it are a fact because of their learnings will understands.
11 In 1,290 days, kittehs no getting killed no moar.
12 If you wait 1337 days you can haz cheezburger.
13 An you, you fired, go wai til teh endz. I no wanna see you no moar. You sleep, then wake up before the urfs blow up to get ur moneyz."
Cas: "That is you."
Dea: "Er.... 'kay. Whatever."
****
Ahem.
This guy lost his wife and his son in a tragic accident and he has no one to tell him that he isn't crazy. I would not still be in that house. I gotta give the dude some props for that just because. Also, when did this blue tinge to everything get so creepy? He's so glib and irreverent in the face of danger and supernatural visions. He reminds me of Dean.
"I ain't yo wife. I am Lucy In the Sky With Diamonds. And Now We're More Like Fadin' Pink / We Use To Be Bright Red / And Now We Ain't / And I Ain't Trippin' / I Ain't Even Trippin' / I Aint Even Mad At Ya. Come be my boo-boo."
HEY LOOKIT AGAIN ONE MORE TIME!
This is just a coincidence. I'm sure.
Egads. Revenge for what happened to the child in this crib... and his mother. Hunting for the one responsible and holding him accountable. Wanting JUSTICE.
... what parallels? Where? I don't know what you mean.
#luciferiscoming and he's covered everything in white. 3:58 AM Sep 10th from web
****
(Be prapared for gratuitousnessnassery in this section because... just because I like following Dean's lead, okay?)
So. Zachariah fixed the boys but he didn't fix Bobby when he threatened never to make him walk again. Hoser. There should be a law. There should be some way of telling him why he's in this handbasket, but again, there's not really any way of doing that without telling him - gee, where do I start?
Dear Bobby,
Dean is the vessel for the archangel Michael and that's because he 's the one who actually accidentallyied the Apocalypse - Sam only finished it - and because of that Dean has to say yes to being a heavenly burrito and haxxoring the Devil. Only he doesn't want to play into their foolish games no more. Oh, and because he said no, they made it so you can't walk. So here's the million dollar question: can I haz yer cheezburger?
-Lid
I have NEVER seen Dean use this body language before.
Dear Dean,
You are still a bad liar. I can't believe that Sam went along with it. He must really love you.
-Lid
Yeah, they look real convinced.
Dear Sam,
Bobby isn't turning his back on you. He never would. He would work with you again and he would trust you when his back is against the wall, same as you would have been able to before trust him to know something's up with you, too.
Just. Yeah.
Dear Dean,
There might be a little bit of leading by example going on here, but I'm pretty sure that you're too overwhelmed with guilt about why he's in that bed and why you said no and why you're such a danger to nearly everyone who's around you and loves you and they should all keep their distance before they get sucked into this vortex that only RubyCas seems to have any clue about. Yeah, I can see that.
...
*shmack*
Oh no. More gratuitousnessnassery. Quick, cover your eyes.
Whew. That was scary.
"Dean, why can't we take the magical amulet to the Banana King? I hear Ecuador is nice this time of year."
"I can't."
"Me neither. Let's do that... can't... thing together and we'll be o-"
"Mmm, that's a big 'Do not want', Sammy. You picked a demonBobby over your own brother and I can't let you get close to me anymore because I'm too dangerous trust you."
*silence* ... (translation: I can't talk to him... he's the only one I ever wanted to protect.... and he's scared of me now.)
(Hi, awesome crane shots. How I love thee.)
...
Yeah, I got nothin'.
*sniff*
P.S. YES THIS.
For a serious reflection on this episode, visit the ever vigilant Erinrua's review.
( < go back to part dos)
*icons* This reminds me of a post I was gonna make that I forgot about! CAR SHOW! /tangent
When I first saw the sign, I thought the 24 hours was a clever play on the 42 dogs and then I realized that I am just that dyslexic and it would have to be open 24 hours in order for the boys to be allowed in at that time of night. *headesk*
LOOK AT THOSE DEAD MIDGETS ON THE FLOOR. I should write a fan letter and demand more parts for midgets that don't involve them being evil and dying. For GAWD.
"Oh, thank God, the angels are here with new security guards."
Hey, Sam.
You recall that time, don't you, when the angels showed up and Dean blasted them into hammerspace with his Sigil Ray Gun and then you made those handy hex bags to keep angels from finding you? With your learnings? It's not working out so great, is it?
P.S. See? Deus Ex Machinas aren't any better; using them just raises the stakes.
Hey, Dean.
You recall that time, don't you, when the angels showed up and you blasted them into hammerspace with your buddy Castiel's Sigil Ray Gun and then Sam made those handy hex bags to keep angels from finding you? With his learnings? And then you went and trusted someone (whom you thought you could trust) just a little too much since they've proven themselves so many times and now it has backfired on you?
P.S. Since nobody is rubbing that in yet... how's that working out for ya? It's like there's this bullseye on your back! *shocked face* However did it get there?
DEAN, YOU ARE AN ANGEL CONDOM THE BANANA KING! STICK A BANANA IN YOUR EAR; IT WORKS LIKE A PHONE! BLBLBLBLBLB.
DUH.
And it is written:
Click to viewAnyway.... as I was saying, like with Father Gregory recruiting lost souls to do God's work, angels can't make you perform any task. You have to agree to do it. It's free will.
Which, if you think about it, demons aren't actually violating free will either. Sure, they do things a bit differently: they make deals which require consent but they also possess you without your permission. But if you didn't really want to do it and they forced you physically into it anyway, then that means you're not really responsible for what they do while they're in your body anyway. If you weren't imprisoned in your own body, you wouldn't choose to do those things. You still have free will.
Whereas you'd be an angel condom by consent, or coercion, so does the free will part make them more or less responsible for the actions they take? Ah, angelic loopholes. Just to point out the obvious, this finger looks pretty darn coercive to me, so I'm having trouble seeing the difference between the good guys and the bad guys, here. Oh wait, no, I do. The good guys are the ones who actually own up to their actions and take responsibility for the consequences of those actions and don't hide them in fear or wait for someone to fine them and slap them with bananas community service.
Stoic!Dean is stoic, unaffected by threats to his right eyeball.
Freaked!Sam is freaked that Dean isn't moving a muscle at the chance to relieve himself of responsibility and have the chance to say, "But the angels made me do it!" Also because just finding out that your brother, for whom you've gone to the extent of accidentallying the Apocalypse to save, is actually the Deus Ex Machina that you've been looking for all along ... has got to be a swift kick in the nads.
... speaking of which.
Dear Show,
This tally is getting ridiculous.
Q_Q
Trusting!Sam is trusting that Dean will make the right choice. He wouldn't want Dean to sacrifice himself just to save him and Bobby from never walking again. On the other hand, he would want Dean to do it if it could save them all from certain death. On the other other hand, he would never ask for that - he has no room to ask for such mercy... but there's a little glimmer of hope in his eyes that it would work. All in about .05 seconds.
Oh, JaredSam.
Haughty!Zachariah is CORN-FUSED.
HEY! LOOKIT!
WHAT DO YOU DREAM, DEAN?
Sam gasping and clutching his chest gives me angina, Show, cut it the hell out. I'm not kidding.
P.S. I'm really not.
I know that Dean has stage 4 stomach cancer here and he's coughing up blood - which feels a lot like that other time in Stepfordville when he suddenly bent over double (you know, back when we thought all hex bags were evil) and started coughing up blood everywhere and Sam started tearing the room to shreds and finally took off with the Deus Ex MachinaColt to find the perp and hoe them down and it was actually Bad News BearRuby who saved Dean in time to go save Sam from Mission Impossible - but all I can hear is innocent bystander Sam gasping in the corner... and I'm pretty sure that's all Dean hears, too.
Also, HEY LOOKIT AGAIN.
I'm getting a feeling that Sam's gasping is going to end with him not breathing... and Asshat is just getting started?
Dear Dean,
I love your snarky, pathetic, human face. I love how stubborn you are. I love that you'll do the right thing even when you don't really understand why it's right or care what might happen to you or to Sam as long as it means the two of you are whole in and of yourselves and in your right minds even when your bodies are all torn to shreds and did you know, Dean, that so does Sam I cried at this part because I was so overwhelmed with all of that? I'm right there with you on my couch.
*shivers*
But, Show, there's no Bobby now. There's only...
boys....
oh god, Sam's not breathing...
Wait. What?
MISHACASTIELLITERARYSYMMETRY! FTW!
Oh. Thank God, the angels are here.
Hey boys, now that you're, you know, not each terminal and DEAD (Show, SERIOUSLY?!), can you check in that coffin right there and see what's in it? It's been buggin' me for months. Thanks.
-Lid
P.S. Sam, watch where you're lookin', there.
"Cas! WhyHow are you alive? How did you know where we were? Why didn't you come faster? Why didn't you tell me I had ketchup on my face?!"
"Do you know that song? The one that goes, 'Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring BANANA PHONE'? Every day was Thursday and then I finally figured out that the great Z doesn't point to anywhere and that's when The Ninja Turtles showed up and told me I can haz one last cheezburger if I come down here and pwn some asshats. You know Them. Mr. Smith Zachariah and his agents security guards. Them's what tricked you into listening to fangirls and dudes in bathrobes and showing up here after you haxxor-rayed them into hammerspace the first time. Stupids."
"Bad News Bears will not save you now. Need bigger ganja." {{{ ZAP. }}}
Cas: "I took pumpkin carving lessons. These symbols will keep you from seeing the Great White Light and whatnot."
Dea: "Is it Enochian symbols?"
Cas: "No, it's LOLCAT."
Dea: "What? Oh, HALE NO."
Cas: "In Daniel 12, it is written:
1 Then Michael will hovr. All nayshuns will shout DO NOT WANT lyk rly loud srsly. But den ur peepl - evryone who is linkd to from dis blog - will be delivereded.
2 All ur kittehs who sleepeded in all our base will belong to us, some wil rise to eternal cheezburgers and some to perpechool invisible baffs.
3 Those nice kittehz will shine like the greases on teh cheezburgers forever
4 But you, Daniel, iz stale cheezburger til u stop showing me ur pokemanz an finish ur homeworkz which takes forever again. Then I can reed ur homeworkz and will increase my learnings.
5 Z0MG hold on I sees 2 d00ds standing next to teh riverz, one on each side which belong to them
6 One d00d said to another d00d hovring above teh watrs dresseded in linen, "like srsly when r they bringing out cheezburger v2.0?"
7 Teh linen d00d hadded buttsecks with the immortal kitteh and sez "a time lyk srsly guize one and a half timez. Sum1 has to breakeded the holy powr of teh holy peeplz which pwnt teh urfs.
8 I hearded but was like wtf. So I say to Ceiling Cat, "what happen next?"
9 He replied, "Go wai, Daniel, cuz u has finisheded ur homeworkz.
10 Sum ppl will eat moar cheezburgerz, but the ebil kittehs r still ebil kittehs. They DO NOT WANT understand, but the wiser kittehs who know it are a fact because of their learnings will understands.
11 In 1,290 days, kittehs no getting killed no moar.
12 If you wait 1337 days you can haz cheezburger.
13 An you, you fired, go wai til teh endz. I no wanna see you no moar. You sleep, then wake up before the urfs blow up to get ur moneyz."
Cas: "That is you."
Dea: "Er.... 'kay. Whatever."
****
Ahem.
This guy lost his wife and his son in a tragic accident and he has no one to tell him that he isn't crazy. I would not still be in that house. I gotta give the dude some props for that just because. Also, when did this blue tinge to everything get so creepy? He's so glib and irreverent in the face of danger and supernatural visions. He reminds me of Dean.
"I ain't yo wife. I am Lucy In the Sky With Diamonds. And Now We're More Like Fadin' Pink / We Use To Be Bright Red / And Now We Ain't / And I Ain't Trippin' / I Ain't Even Trippin' / I Aint Even Mad At Ya. Come be my boo-boo."
HEY LOOKIT AGAIN ONE MORE TIME!
This is just a coincidence. I'm sure.
Egads. Revenge for what happened to the child in this crib... and his mother. Hunting for the one responsible and holding him accountable. Wanting JUSTICE.
... what parallels? Where? I don't know what you mean.
#luciferiscoming and he's covered everything in white. 3:58 AM Sep 10th from web
****
(Be prapared for gratuitousnessnassery in this section because... just because I like following Dean's lead, okay?)
So. Zachariah fixed the boys but he didn't fix Bobby when he threatened never to make him walk again. Hoser. There should be a law. There should be some way of telling him why he's in this handbasket, but again, there's not really any way of doing that without telling him - gee, where do I start?
Dear Bobby,
Dean is the vessel for the archangel Michael and that's because he 's the one who actually accidentallyied the Apocalypse - Sam only finished it - and because of that Dean has to say yes to being a heavenly burrito and haxxoring the Devil. Only he doesn't want to play into their foolish games no more. Oh, and because he said no, they made it so you can't walk. So here's the million dollar question: can I haz yer cheezburger?
-Lid
I have NEVER seen Dean use this body language before.
Dear Dean,
You are still a bad liar. I can't believe that Sam went along with it. He must really love you.
-Lid
Yeah, they look real convinced.
Dear Sam,
Bobby isn't turning his back on you. He never would. He would work with you again and he would trust you when his back is against the wall, same as you would have been able to before trust him to know something's up with you, too.
Just. Yeah.
Dear Dean,
There might be a little bit of leading by example going on here, but I'm pretty sure that you're too overwhelmed with guilt about why he's in that bed and why you said no and why you're such a danger to nearly everyone who's around you and loves you and they should all keep their distance before they get sucked into this vortex that only RubyCas seems to have any clue about. Yeah, I can see that.
...
*shmack*
Oh no. More gratuitousnessnassery. Quick, cover your eyes.
Whew. That was scary.
"Dean, why can't we take the magical amulet to the Banana King? I hear Ecuador is nice this time of year."
"I can't."
"Me neither. Let's do that... can't... thing together and we'll be o-"
"Mmm, that's a big 'Do not want', Sammy. You picked a demonBobby over your own brother and I can't let you get close to me anymore because I'm too dangerous trust you."
*silence* ... (translation: I can't talk to him... he's the only one I ever wanted to protect.... and he's scared of me now.)
(Hi, awesome crane shots. How I love thee.)
...
Yeah, I got nothin'.
*sniff*
P.S. YES THIS.
For a serious reflection on this episode, visit the ever vigilant Erinrua's review.