Second verse, same as the first
1.
Vid got done, cinco provided great beta services, and it will be showing at WisCon tomorrow night, so I should be able to post it here Saturday morning. Yay! I am looking forward to sharing it as well as to watching the enticing-looking vids that've been coming out of Vidukon and will be coming out of WisCon.
2.
Finished Fifty Shades Darker. Everything wrong with the first book was also wrong with this one (indecisiveness, controlling behavior, rapid mood swings, too-quick relationship progression, stupid catchphrases, dearth of kink, portrayal of dominance and sexual sadism as pathologies in search of cure, general bad writing, etc.), plus a few fun new flaws, and if I'd tried to document all its problems we would have been here all day. Instead, I powered through and have some follow-up notes for those who are interested-including some aspects that improved.
First, to its credit, there were times when the book acknowledged its own ridiculousness. Like Ana noting of Christian, Oh, he's so mercurial… his mood swings are like a metronome set at presto (491). However, far more credit would have been earned if the book had instead fixed those problems. Here is my favorite excerpt that exemplifies how many emotions could get shoved into a few lines:
He gapes at me, appalled, and nervously runs his hand through his hair as he processes this information. He rubs his chin, lost in thought, but he can't mask the perplexed annoyance etched on his face. Abruptly he shakes his head, exasperated-but amused, too-and a faint smile of admiration kisses the corner of his mouth. (502-3)
Ana still has an undiagnosed eating disorder (for example: By lunchtime on Wednesday, I manage a cup of yogurt, and it's the first thing I've eaten since Friday. I am surviving on a newfound tolerance for lattes and Diet Coke.), and she's still obtuse when it comes to her spanking new (ha ha) billionaire boyfriend (for example, it takes until page 346 for her to figure out that the abusive childhood he survived explains why he doesn't like to be touched). It continues to be embarrassing to read their constant, boring flirting, whether they're doing it in person or via email. Feels like being stuck next to a new young couple absorbed in lovebird talk and PDA issues. I longed for an editor.
However, we are finally presented with some substance to this relationship. On page 208-that's 720ish pages into the whole story, mind you-they have an actual, non-sex-related conversation, and Ana learns what Christian does for a living:
We talk through our meal, as we never have before. Christian is relaxed and calm-he looks young, happy, and animated despite all that transpired yesterday. He recounts the history of Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc., and the more he reveals, the more I sense his passion for fixing problem companies, his hopes for the technology he's developing, and his dreams of making land in the third world more productive. I listen, enraptured. He's funny, clever, philanthropic, and beautiful, and he loves me.
In turn he plagues me with questions about Ray and my mom, about growing up in the lush green forests of Montesano, and my brief stints in Texas and Vegas. He demands to know my favorite books and films, and I'm surprised by how much we have in common.
A.K.A. "we explore whether we have anything in common to begin with." Sigh. Then on page 496:
"What else do you love about me?" he asks […]
"I love this [your mouth], and what comes out of it, and what you do to me with it. And what's in here." I caress his temple. "You're so smart and witty and knowledgeable, competent in so many things. But most of all, I love what's in here." I press my palm gently against his chest, feeling his steady beating heart. "You are the most compassionate man I've met. What you do. How you work. It's awe-inspiring," I whisper.
It's not brilliant, but it's something. (On the other hand, Ana's ability to apply these supposed insights remains questionable; ten pages earlier she gave him a solar-powered helicopter as a birthday present yet had forgotten that solar power is something he cares about.)
There are also more moments of sanity this time around, along the lines of 'We barely know each other' and 'What are we doing? We need to take it all slow.' Such as: "Anastasia, I want to start again. Do the vanilla thing and then maybe, once you trust me more and I trust you to be honest and to communicate with me, we could move on and do some of the things that I like to do." Thumbs up.
AND YET. After they pay lip service to this taking it slow business, when Christian can't get over his insecurity that Ana will leave him once she discovers and/or internalizes the extent of his Terrible Darkness, when their constant declarations of eternal boundless love for each other don't do enough for him, their solution is to GET ENGAGED. They have known each other for like A MONTH. It is the same baffling fast-forward progression that leads to Ana getting promoted from intern to some kind of manuscript publication manager after being on the job for one week.
Which is a result of her super-sleazy caricature boss getting booted out of work when Christian finds out he's been perving on Ana. Because Christian buys the company so he can fire him. Super-sleazy caricature boss then sabotages Christian's helicopter*, and when that doesn't kill him, hides in some bushes somewhere to go heh heh heh I'm gonna get you and you're gonna be sorry as the book concludes.
Yep.
And he is merely one of three villains who brighten this tale! Another is one of Christian's ex-subs, an escaped mental patient who talks like Gollum ("Masssster is daaaark," extra letters mine, but seriously) and stalks Ana for half the book armed with a gun because she wants to know what Ana has that she doesn't. Crisis defused when Christian makes her kneel, gives her a bath and sends her to his therapist for reinstitutionalization. Or outpatient therapy, or something.
And three! Three is both my least and most favorite. See, there's been this "Mrs. Robinson" figure if I haven't mentioned before, this not-even-yet-middle-aged woman Ana despises (but barely knows) because she indoctrinated Christian into BDSM starting when Christian was 15, even though Christian keeps trying to explain that it was a mutual arrangement, that Mrs. Robinson pulled him from a self-destructive trajectory, and that whatever they once had between them has been over for years. It takes until page 479 for Ana to realize that her jealousy over Mrs. Robinson is no different from Christian's jealousy of José-which is to say, baseless. At last, it looked like Ana's seething hatred/jealousy of Mrs. Robinson would abate enough for them to have an actual conversation during which Ana would begin to comprehend that Mrs. R. is not the totally evil child molester Ana has been calling her, that there is such a thing as a healthy BDSM relationship (teachable moment!), and that regardless of whether or not Christian remains interested in pursuing one, Ana can finish the path toward healing him that Mrs. R. started. BUT NO. At Christian's birthday party, it transpires that Mrs. Robinson is in fact evil, in the worst, Ana's-assumptions-affirming, kink-shaming, jaw-dropping cartoon villain dialogue way. I can't even. The scene ended with Ana tossing a martini in her face and Christian's mom slapping her.
While we are complaining... On page 329, Ana is shocked to hear that Christian is a sadist, WTF. But! That doesn't matter, because a couple of weeks with his therapist and he's fixed. In fact, quoth the therapist: "In a nutshell, he's not a sadist, Ana. He's an angry, frightened, brilliant young man, who was dealt a shit hand of cards when he was born" (413). So, it's okay to argue that preferring dominance and consensual sexual sadism is caused by being twisted by trauma if you show that the person in question can be treated out of it? It's got all kinds of uncomfortable "gay cure" shades to it. But whatever, Christian's happy, Ana's happy, I no longer have hope of understanding why despite practicing BDSM and only BDSM for half his life Christian can drop it so easily now, we can move on to book three.
Good things. There are two proper kink scenes in book two, aside from some more spanking. Once they use one of those bars that has both wrist and ankle cuffs attached. A+. Then toward the end of the book, for Christian's birthday, they go all out for the two or three pages it takes Ana to go from zero to exploding sixty: a tie, a mask, cuffs, nipple clamps, a vibrating plug, and a finger in her ass. Like a kink oasis after a trek through a narrative desert.
Also, there was a moment with real emotion toward the end. (Everything happened toward the end, hm.) On page 523, after Christian's mom overhears the shouting match with Mrs. Robinson and throws her out of the house, she stays behind in the room with him and asks quietly while Ana eavesdrops, "How long, Christian? […] How old were you?" I liked that little moment.
I was going to say something about how James maybe transformed the Mormon values-infused Twilight into more of a Christian-themed story, but the analysis is falling apart in my head. Surely someone who knows more about Christian philosophy in modern literature than I do (being mostly informed through C.S. Lewis and J.K. Rowling) has written about it; I just have to figure out how to find it, since it's kind of hard to Google "Fifty Shades of Grey Christian [anything]."
In the meantime, I noticed that the back cover quotes Entertainment Weekly: "In a class by itself." I'll say.
*Current tally: Christian, age 26, is a billionaire entrepreneur CEO, sexpert, helicopter pilot and glider, pianist, sailor, car enthusiast, martial artist, fisherman, and something else I'm probably forgetting, plus he owns the most random collection of businesses and real estate across the U.S., including a salon chain, some restaurants, and Ana's publishing company, none of which appears to relate to his charity work, but then maybe I don't understand how ludicrously wealthy people acquire things. Don't worry, though, he's not a perfect human being, because, as Ana notes, he doesn't know how to chop vegetables.
3.
Went with a couple of friends to see Spank! The Musical last night, a Fifty Shades parody. My chest hurt from laughing after the first half. The second half sort of fell apart, though. Overall the show succeeded in skewering some of the terrible writing and overwrought sex in the book, with "Natasha Woode" both acting out certain scenes in character and serving as a common sense foil to the author. It offered amusing filk-ish songs about BDSM; my two favorites were the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory-inspired "Come with me... and you'll be... in my rooooom of sexy domination," and one involving the chorus "Let me be your hero, baby dominator" (or something like that) that "Hugh Hans" crooned to Natasha while playing guitar and working out their hard and soft limits. Wish I could remember more of the lyrics to share with you. (Wish the negotiation had taken one scene in the first book instead of 300 pages, too.) The show also spent a few minutes "accidentally" slipping into Twilight-Christian/Hugh's loathing to bare his chest was because he sparkled in the sun, for example, and then he stopped the bicycle/car with his bare hands and took Ana/Tasha on a piggyback romp through the woods-in addition to pointing out his similarities to Batman… followed by Hugh doing a strip tease in a Batman costume. It also had him say "Eat a sandwich and go to bed" at about three different times as he exited the stage.
The show got uncomfortable, however, when its depiction of author "E.B. Janet" made fun of adult women who write erotic fanfiction. Make fun of bad writing, yes. But make fun of middle-aged ladies who want to be horny and who have the power to do it to & take care of it themselves, not so much. Part of the discomfort probably stems from an insider vs. outsider reaction-it's more okay for fanfic authors to deride other fanfic authors(' work) than for someone outside the community to do it.
4.
Even though Fifty Shades Darker ended in a way where I don't feel the need to keep going-the cackling in the bushes was maybe supposed to be a cliffhanger, but whatever-the completist in me wants to just take Fifty Shades Freed on the plane tomorrow (am going to visit a friend for the holiday weekend) and get it done with. It's the same impulse that makes me keep watching TV shows for years after I've stopped enjoying them. I want to know how they end! Maybe they'll get better!
Either way, afterwards it's going to be nice to consume some high-quality media for a change. *eyes bookshelf and Netflix queue*
Vid got done, cinco provided great beta services, and it will be showing at WisCon tomorrow night, so I should be able to post it here Saturday morning. Yay! I am looking forward to sharing it as well as to watching the enticing-looking vids that've been coming out of Vidukon and will be coming out of WisCon.
2.
Finished Fifty Shades Darker. Everything wrong with the first book was also wrong with this one (indecisiveness, controlling behavior, rapid mood swings, too-quick relationship progression, stupid catchphrases, dearth of kink, portrayal of dominance and sexual sadism as pathologies in search of cure, general bad writing, etc.), plus a few fun new flaws, and if I'd tried to document all its problems we would have been here all day. Instead, I powered through and have some follow-up notes for those who are interested-including some aspects that improved.
First, to its credit, there were times when the book acknowledged its own ridiculousness. Like Ana noting of Christian, Oh, he's so mercurial… his mood swings are like a metronome set at presto (491). However, far more credit would have been earned if the book had instead fixed those problems. Here is my favorite excerpt that exemplifies how many emotions could get shoved into a few lines:
He gapes at me, appalled, and nervously runs his hand through his hair as he processes this information. He rubs his chin, lost in thought, but he can't mask the perplexed annoyance etched on his face. Abruptly he shakes his head, exasperated-but amused, too-and a faint smile of admiration kisses the corner of his mouth. (502-3)
Ana still has an undiagnosed eating disorder (for example: By lunchtime on Wednesday, I manage a cup of yogurt, and it's the first thing I've eaten since Friday. I am surviving on a newfound tolerance for lattes and Diet Coke.), and she's still obtuse when it comes to her spanking new (ha ha) billionaire boyfriend (for example, it takes until page 346 for her to figure out that the abusive childhood he survived explains why he doesn't like to be touched). It continues to be embarrassing to read their constant, boring flirting, whether they're doing it in person or via email. Feels like being stuck next to a new young couple absorbed in lovebird talk and PDA issues. I longed for an editor.
However, we are finally presented with some substance to this relationship. On page 208-that's 720ish pages into the whole story, mind you-they have an actual, non-sex-related conversation, and Ana learns what Christian does for a living:
We talk through our meal, as we never have before. Christian is relaxed and calm-he looks young, happy, and animated despite all that transpired yesterday. He recounts the history of Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc., and the more he reveals, the more I sense his passion for fixing problem companies, his hopes for the technology he's developing, and his dreams of making land in the third world more productive. I listen, enraptured. He's funny, clever, philanthropic, and beautiful, and he loves me.
In turn he plagues me with questions about Ray and my mom, about growing up in the lush green forests of Montesano, and my brief stints in Texas and Vegas. He demands to know my favorite books and films, and I'm surprised by how much we have in common.
A.K.A. "we explore whether we have anything in common to begin with." Sigh. Then on page 496:
"What else do you love about me?" he asks […]
"I love this [your mouth], and what comes out of it, and what you do to me with it. And what's in here." I caress his temple. "You're so smart and witty and knowledgeable, competent in so many things. But most of all, I love what's in here." I press my palm gently against his chest, feeling his steady beating heart. "You are the most compassionate man I've met. What you do. How you work. It's awe-inspiring," I whisper.
It's not brilliant, but it's something. (On the other hand, Ana's ability to apply these supposed insights remains questionable; ten pages earlier she gave him a solar-powered helicopter as a birthday present yet had forgotten that solar power is something he cares about.)
There are also more moments of sanity this time around, along the lines of 'We barely know each other' and 'What are we doing? We need to take it all slow.' Such as: "Anastasia, I want to start again. Do the vanilla thing and then maybe, once you trust me more and I trust you to be honest and to communicate with me, we could move on and do some of the things that I like to do." Thumbs up.
AND YET. After they pay lip service to this taking it slow business, when Christian can't get over his insecurity that Ana will leave him once she discovers and/or internalizes the extent of his Terrible Darkness, when their constant declarations of eternal boundless love for each other don't do enough for him, their solution is to GET ENGAGED. They have known each other for like A MONTH. It is the same baffling fast-forward progression that leads to Ana getting promoted from intern to some kind of manuscript publication manager after being on the job for one week.
Which is a result of her super-sleazy caricature boss getting booted out of work when Christian finds out he's been perving on Ana. Because Christian buys the company so he can fire him. Super-sleazy caricature boss then sabotages Christian's helicopter*, and when that doesn't kill him, hides in some bushes somewhere to go heh heh heh I'm gonna get you and you're gonna be sorry as the book concludes.
Yep.
And he is merely one of three villains who brighten this tale! Another is one of Christian's ex-subs, an escaped mental patient who talks like Gollum ("Masssster is daaaark," extra letters mine, but seriously) and stalks Ana for half the book armed with a gun because she wants to know what Ana has that she doesn't. Crisis defused when Christian makes her kneel, gives her a bath and sends her to his therapist for reinstitutionalization. Or outpatient therapy, or something.
And three! Three is both my least and most favorite. See, there's been this "Mrs. Robinson" figure if I haven't mentioned before, this not-even-yet-middle-aged woman Ana despises (but barely knows) because she indoctrinated Christian into BDSM starting when Christian was 15, even though Christian keeps trying to explain that it was a mutual arrangement, that Mrs. Robinson pulled him from a self-destructive trajectory, and that whatever they once had between them has been over for years. It takes until page 479 for Ana to realize that her jealousy over Mrs. Robinson is no different from Christian's jealousy of José-which is to say, baseless. At last, it looked like Ana's seething hatred/jealousy of Mrs. Robinson would abate enough for them to have an actual conversation during which Ana would begin to comprehend that Mrs. R. is not the totally evil child molester Ana has been calling her, that there is such a thing as a healthy BDSM relationship (teachable moment!), and that regardless of whether or not Christian remains interested in pursuing one, Ana can finish the path toward healing him that Mrs. R. started. BUT NO. At Christian's birthday party, it transpires that Mrs. Robinson is in fact evil, in the worst, Ana's-assumptions-affirming, kink-shaming, jaw-dropping cartoon villain dialogue way. I can't even. The scene ended with Ana tossing a martini in her face and Christian's mom slapping her.
While we are complaining... On page 329, Ana is shocked to hear that Christian is a sadist, WTF. But! That doesn't matter, because a couple of weeks with his therapist and he's fixed. In fact, quoth the therapist: "In a nutshell, he's not a sadist, Ana. He's an angry, frightened, brilliant young man, who was dealt a shit hand of cards when he was born" (413). So, it's okay to argue that preferring dominance and consensual sexual sadism is caused by being twisted by trauma if you show that the person in question can be treated out of it? It's got all kinds of uncomfortable "gay cure" shades to it. But whatever, Christian's happy, Ana's happy, I no longer have hope of understanding why despite practicing BDSM and only BDSM for half his life Christian can drop it so easily now, we can move on to book three.
Good things. There are two proper kink scenes in book two, aside from some more spanking. Once they use one of those bars that has both wrist and ankle cuffs attached. A+. Then toward the end of the book, for Christian's birthday, they go all out for the two or three pages it takes Ana to go from zero to exploding sixty: a tie, a mask, cuffs, nipple clamps, a vibrating plug, and a finger in her ass. Like a kink oasis after a trek through a narrative desert.
Also, there was a moment with real emotion toward the end. (Everything happened toward the end, hm.) On page 523, after Christian's mom overhears the shouting match with Mrs. Robinson and throws her out of the house, she stays behind in the room with him and asks quietly while Ana eavesdrops, "How long, Christian? […] How old were you?" I liked that little moment.
I was going to say something about how James maybe transformed the Mormon values-infused Twilight into more of a Christian-themed story, but the analysis is falling apart in my head. Surely someone who knows more about Christian philosophy in modern literature than I do (being mostly informed through C.S. Lewis and J.K. Rowling) has written about it; I just have to figure out how to find it, since it's kind of hard to Google "Fifty Shades of Grey Christian [anything]."
In the meantime, I noticed that the back cover quotes Entertainment Weekly: "In a class by itself." I'll say.
*Current tally: Christian, age 26, is a billionaire entrepreneur CEO, sexpert, helicopter pilot and glider, pianist, sailor, car enthusiast, martial artist, fisherman, and something else I'm probably forgetting, plus he owns the most random collection of businesses and real estate across the U.S., including a salon chain, some restaurants, and Ana's publishing company, none of which appears to relate to his charity work, but then maybe I don't understand how ludicrously wealthy people acquire things. Don't worry, though, he's not a perfect human being, because, as Ana notes, he doesn't know how to chop vegetables.
3.
Went with a couple of friends to see Spank! The Musical last night, a Fifty Shades parody. My chest hurt from laughing after the first half. The second half sort of fell apart, though. Overall the show succeeded in skewering some of the terrible writing and overwrought sex in the book, with "Natasha Woode" both acting out certain scenes in character and serving as a common sense foil to the author. It offered amusing filk-ish songs about BDSM; my two favorites were the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory-inspired "Come with me... and you'll be... in my rooooom of sexy domination," and one involving the chorus "Let me be your hero, baby dominator" (or something like that) that "Hugh Hans" crooned to Natasha while playing guitar and working out their hard and soft limits. Wish I could remember more of the lyrics to share with you. (Wish the negotiation had taken one scene in the first book instead of 300 pages, too.) The show also spent a few minutes "accidentally" slipping into Twilight-Christian/Hugh's loathing to bare his chest was because he sparkled in the sun, for example, and then he stopped the bicycle/car with his bare hands and took Ana/Tasha on a piggyback romp through the woods-in addition to pointing out his similarities to Batman… followed by Hugh doing a strip tease in a Batman costume. It also had him say "Eat a sandwich and go to bed" at about three different times as he exited the stage.
The show got uncomfortable, however, when its depiction of author "E.B. Janet" made fun of adult women who write erotic fanfiction. Make fun of bad writing, yes. But make fun of middle-aged ladies who want to be horny and who have the power to do it to & take care of it themselves, not so much. Part of the discomfort probably stems from an insider vs. outsider reaction-it's more okay for fanfic authors to deride other fanfic authors(' work) than for someone outside the community to do it.
4.
Even though Fifty Shades Darker ended in a way where I don't feel the need to keep going-the cackling in the bushes was maybe supposed to be a cliffhanger, but whatever-the completist in me wants to just take Fifty Shades Freed on the plane tomorrow (am going to visit a friend for the holiday weekend) and get it done with. It's the same impulse that makes me keep watching TV shows for years after I've stopped enjoying them. I want to know how they end! Maybe they'll get better!
Either way, afterwards it's going to be nice to consume some high-quality media for a change. *eyes bookshelf and Netflix queue*