@#%&!* -- 50 Shades doesn't end at the end. Now I have to read the sequel.
First post about the book
Second post about the book
Through page 514/the "end"
I was wrong before about Ana making a choice. The tennis match-or, more appropriately, the ping pong match-continues for 200+ pages in which I still can't pin down Christian, figure out what Ana wants or guess how successful their attempt at a BDSM relationship will be. The second is more forgivable because Ana is also struggling to figure out what she wants, but seriously, waffle for a couple of chapters instead of more than half the book. Then we could have had an actual conclusion after 500 pages instead of cliffhanging things over to the sequel. Or we could even have closed with a triumphant/scary/exhilarating moment for Ana in which she decides to take the plunge, and then all the resultant BDSM festivities take place in book two, along with whatever fixing she thinks she needs to do to make Christian "normal" and un-manpainy.
Instead, we get a classic fanfic relationship miscommunication conversation: Ana says she can't be what Christian wants, Christian says she's exactly what he wants, Ana misses the point and says she doesn't want pain yet he said he needs to give pain, Christian seizes on the "I'm going to ruin you because I'm a bad man" thing and agrees that he's not good for her, Ana hears "I don't want you," they both say they don't want to break up but there's no solution, etc. etc., and she leaves in tears. Sigh.
Right, so BTW Christian Grey has manpain. This is a man in need. His fear is naked and obvious, but he's lost . . . somewhere in his darkness. His eyes are wide and bleak and tortured. I can soothe him, join him briefly in the darkness and bring him into the light. It seems his predilections for sadism and control stem from an emotionally and physically abusive childhood. Fine, that's fine, of course abuse can lead to fucked-up-edness in adulthood, but for an erotica novel that's theoretically introducing a lot of people to BDSM arrangements it's unfortunate that the book seems to be arguing that liking kink is a cause-traceable pathology that needs to be cured.
It's also unfortunate that Ana doesn't understand the difference between hesitance, preference and having a trigger. Christian exhibits a strong aversion to being touched and has what appear to be cigarette burns on his chest (200-whatever pages before Ana realizes that they're probably not from chicken pox). Let me summarize how this thread plays out across three-quarters of the novel:
CG: Hi, Ana. I would like to do the sex with you. Just please don't touch me, especially in the torso.
AS: Sex, awesome. *tries to touch him in bed*
CG: *jerks away*
AS: :(
CG: Hi, Ana. I enjoyed doing the sex with you. I'd like you to sign this thorough power play contract. Note that under Hard Limits I've stated that I do not want to be touched and that I will not abide fire play.
AS: *keeps trying to touch him*
CG: *keeps pushing her away and shutting down*
AS: Can I touch you now?
CG: No. I told you that was a hard limit.
AS: Please?
CG: No.
AS: Why can't I touch you?
CG: I don't want to discuss it.
AS: Whyyyyyyyy
CG: I said I don't want to discuss it.
AS: But whyyyyyyyyy
CG: MY MOTHER WAS A CRACK WHORE OKAY*
AS: ...
AS: If I let you spank me, can I touch you after?
And THEN Ana tries to tell him that her feelings about being in a painplay scene, e.g. discomfort and confusion**, are just like his feelings when she tries to touch him. Christian goes all gray (ha) and horrified, because of course now he thinks he's giving her PTSD or whatever and he's going to call the whole thing off because he might like erotic sadism but he'd never want to cause someone whatever pain he's had to go through, and it takes a few paragraphs for Ana to figure out that she's poking into way deeper territory than she thought. Which, yeah, Christian could have reiterated to her what "hard limit" means, but it's also her responsibility to respect his boundaries. Even after Christian grudgingly reveals that he had a rough go of it as a kid, Ana keeps prying; he keeps shutting down; she pries some more. (**I don't mean to say that he's a great communicator nor belittle the discomfort and confusion she feels when she tries sceneing with him, either; it's natural to struggle to come to terms with having something done to you that you're not sure you should have done, feeling demeaned, feeling ashamed that you allowed it, feeling ashamed that you liked it, etc.) It's just a poor portrayal of being respectful of someone's triggers, especially because the book appears to be heading to a place where Ana is going to coax his sad sad broken soul to accept love, at which point his traumatic childhood will presumably be erased and she will lay healing kisses across his scarred, manly chest.
Or maybe I'm underestimating. I did underestimate a key aspect of this book.
*No, seriously. Actually, it comes on the heels of a witty little exchange:
"Your ass is a glorious color," he says approvingly, and he tenderly massages the cooling lotion into my pink behind.
"Spill the beans, Grey." I yawn.
"Miss Steele, you know how to ruin a moment."
"We had a deal."
"How do you feel?"
"Shortchanged."
He sighs, slides in beside me, and pulls me into his arms. […] "The woman who brought me into this world was a crack whore, Anastasia. Go to sleep."
And then they go to sleep.
Oh, and on page 413, Ana finally Googles Christian. Starting with Google Images.
It is not Google but Ana's mom who makes her realize something obvious: "Men aren't really complicated, Ana, honey. They are very simple, literal creatures. They usually mean what they say. […] If I were you, I'd take him literally. That might help." ...Which is followed five lines later by: I gaze at my mom. She is on her fourth marriage. Maybe she does know something about men after all.
Another LOL:
"What was that music?" I mumble almost inarticulately.
"It's called Spem in Alium, a forty-part motet by Thomas Tallis."
"It was… overwhelming."
"I've always wanted to fuck to it."
Cultured gentleman, thy name is Christian Grey.
All right, but criticism aside for a sec, there are moments where Ana expresses a much-welcome clear opinion about what she's facing:
Because I think I love you, and you just see me as a toy. Because I can't touch you, because I can't show you any affection in case you flinch or tell me off or worse-beat me?
"I feel ambivalent about it. I don't like it, but I don't hate it. […] I do it for you, Christian, because you need it. I don't. […] When you want to punish me, I worry that you'll hurt me."
And there are moments where Christian describes what he wants in a safe/sane/consensual way:
What I think you fail to realize is that in Dom/sub relationships it is the sub who has all the power. Not I. In the boathouse you said no. I can't touch you if you say no-that's why we have an agreement-what you will and won't do. If we try things and you don't like them, we can revise the agreement. It's up to you-not me.
YES. THANK YOU. Then why all the fuss about the contract?? If you had said this before PAGE 400 and stuck to it instead of sounding like an inflexible control freak stalker dom who's pressing his case onto an almost totally ignorant young woman every other page, I would have felt far more comfortable about Ana agreeing to the whole arrangement. (I found his three-page email to her on p 399-401 refreshing and even a bit sexy in his willingness to explain himself and negotiate with her. He also stresses the importance of communication, being honest and working together to make the arrangement mutually agreeable as they go; says he'll give her space; and suggests setting aside his "playroom" as the one space in which she is meant to act as a sub.) They revisit the conversation at an IHOP (458) and in his apartment (498), so it does seem consistent until nearly the end of the book that they're going to try for a compromise in which Ana agrees to try some stuff and follow the rules and Christian agrees to be adaptable and to try for romance/affection in addition to sex.
However, it's impossible to judge whether this is really how Christian will treat Ana when the book can't make up its mind about his stalker-controller tendencies or Ana's responses to same. A few pages after promising space, he follows her to Georgia and interrupts her visit with her mom. Ana's pissed but then decides she's happy he's there. Elsewhere, he makes a joke about kidnapping her. He writes that he likes when she challenges him outside the playroom, only to say later that she's exasperating. That's one of the things Ana calls him on: "But, here's the thing-one moment you say 'don't defy me,' the next you say you like to be challenged. That's a very fine line to tread successfully." / He gazes at me for a moment, then frowns. "I can see that. But you seem to be doing fine so far." He tracks her menstrual cycle, texts her that he knows what she's drinking because he's watching her, and then acts all wounded when Ana assumes he already knows where she's landed a job:
"You don't know?" [Ana asks.]
He shakes his head, frowning. "Why would I know?"
"With your stalking capabilities, I thought you might have…" I trail off as his face falls.
"Anastasia, I wouldn't dream of interfering in your career, unless you ask me to, of course." He looks wounded.
Nice emotional manipulation, buddy. Or so you'd say, dear reader, if you're assuming consistent characterization.
As for the sex, it gets annoying because 1) it interrupts scenes when the characters about to make progress, 2) it's still written so floridly you can't help but roll your eyes and/or skim and/or post excerpts to your LJ, and 3) it's hardly kinky. At the end of the book, we've only had (if memory serves) two spankings, two scenes in Christian's playroom (one two-minute encounter with a crop + hands chained over her head, and one sensory deprivation + chained spread-eagled). There's an awful lot of "vanilla" sex here for a dude who claims he's not interested in it and for a book that purports to be a journey into the dark erotic netherworld of S&M or whatever.
And I come, my orgasm ripping through me, a turbulent, passionate apogee that devours me whole. And suddenly Christian crushes me to him […] "Ana, baby!" he cries, and it's a wild invocation, stirring and touching the depths of my soul.
While Ana ultimately runs crying after a full-power session with a belt (she asked to see how painful it could be) and after her first spanking punishment, her curiosity does rouse for much of the milder kink and the less intimidating implements in Christian's playroom. And she does appear to thoroughly enjoy the non-pain-related parts of their sexplorations. ...I have forgotten where I was headed with that, other than to try to answer my earlier question about whether Ana was going to transform into a pain-loving natural-born sub who just hadn't been introduced to her true tastes. So: No.
Also. I don't know where this fits in, so I will just point out here that while everything else is going on, Ana does feel pressured on several occasions to do what Christian wants because she feels that if she says no, he'll reject her. That is not the rosy picture of consent the contract paints, nor does Christian help alleviate such concerns when he runs so hot and cold. Her instinct to deal with him and his proposal in all-or-nothing terms contributes to their concluding argument.
Summary Thoughts
This book was not good in the following areas: prose; pacing; coherent characterization; relationship building; conflation of day-to-day controlling behavior with a penchant for sexual dominance; strong insinuation that liking kinky sex means you are abnormal and broken; inner goddess writing tic; overblown sex scenes; OH and ETA the random racism, like, "Oh, there is an African-American young woman over there at my potential internship reception desk and she seems like someone I could be friendly with" -- not "friends with" -- "let me describe her hair." To quote Bella and Ana, "ugh." /ETA I think that it did a fair job of depicting the nature of kink negotiation and some of the appeal of BDSM play. At least, it didn't do nearly as terrible a job as I was braced for. And while Ana and Christian were giving me whiplash as they tried to get something off the ground, the book succeeded in making me think hard about the nature of dom/sub lifestyle relationships (this reader is more familiar with dom/sub scenes), at what point enough trust has been established between partners to go further safely, and whether I personally would ever feel comfortable giving blanket consent. Even if those might not have been challenges issued by the author but rather consequences of the aforementioned inconsistency.
TBD whether the second book merits a complete read...
Thanks much to those of you who've been following along these last few days and who have not made fun of me for giving the book a shot. Now to respond to comments!
ETA: oh holy GOD I am not going to make it through the second book. Page 1 squicked me the hell out and by page 15 I've already snorted out loud, shut my eyes in pain, and boggled at the density of repeated phrases from the first book.
ETA 2: Notes on the sequel.
Second post about the book
Through page 514/the "end"
I was wrong before about Ana making a choice. The tennis match-or, more appropriately, the ping pong match-continues for 200+ pages in which I still can't pin down Christian, figure out what Ana wants or guess how successful their attempt at a BDSM relationship will be. The second is more forgivable because Ana is also struggling to figure out what she wants, but seriously, waffle for a couple of chapters instead of more than half the book. Then we could have had an actual conclusion after 500 pages instead of cliffhanging things over to the sequel. Or we could even have closed with a triumphant/scary/exhilarating moment for Ana in which she decides to take the plunge, and then all the resultant BDSM festivities take place in book two, along with whatever fixing she thinks she needs to do to make Christian "normal" and un-manpainy.
Instead, we get a classic fanfic relationship miscommunication conversation: Ana says she can't be what Christian wants, Christian says she's exactly what he wants, Ana misses the point and says she doesn't want pain yet he said he needs to give pain, Christian seizes on the "I'm going to ruin you because I'm a bad man" thing and agrees that he's not good for her, Ana hears "I don't want you," they both say they don't want to break up but there's no solution, etc. etc., and she leaves in tears. Sigh.
Right, so BTW Christian Grey has manpain. This is a man in need. His fear is naked and obvious, but he's lost . . . somewhere in his darkness. His eyes are wide and bleak and tortured. I can soothe him, join him briefly in the darkness and bring him into the light. It seems his predilections for sadism and control stem from an emotionally and physically abusive childhood. Fine, that's fine, of course abuse can lead to fucked-up-edness in adulthood, but for an erotica novel that's theoretically introducing a lot of people to BDSM arrangements it's unfortunate that the book seems to be arguing that liking kink is a cause-traceable pathology that needs to be cured.
It's also unfortunate that Ana doesn't understand the difference between hesitance, preference and having a trigger. Christian exhibits a strong aversion to being touched and has what appear to be cigarette burns on his chest (200-whatever pages before Ana realizes that they're probably not from chicken pox). Let me summarize how this thread plays out across three-quarters of the novel:
CG: Hi, Ana. I would like to do the sex with you. Just please don't touch me, especially in the torso.
AS: Sex, awesome. *tries to touch him in bed*
CG: *jerks away*
AS: :(
CG: Hi, Ana. I enjoyed doing the sex with you. I'd like you to sign this thorough power play contract. Note that under Hard Limits I've stated that I do not want to be touched and that I will not abide fire play.
AS: *keeps trying to touch him*
CG: *keeps pushing her away and shutting down*
AS: Can I touch you now?
CG: No. I told you that was a hard limit.
AS: Please?
CG: No.
AS: Why can't I touch you?
CG: I don't want to discuss it.
AS: Whyyyyyyyy
CG: I said I don't want to discuss it.
AS: But whyyyyyyyyy
CG: MY MOTHER WAS A CRACK WHORE OKAY*
AS: ...
AS: If I let you spank me, can I touch you after?
And THEN Ana tries to tell him that her feelings about being in a painplay scene, e.g. discomfort and confusion**, are just like his feelings when she tries to touch him. Christian goes all gray (ha) and horrified, because of course now he thinks he's giving her PTSD or whatever and he's going to call the whole thing off because he might like erotic sadism but he'd never want to cause someone whatever pain he's had to go through, and it takes a few paragraphs for Ana to figure out that she's poking into way deeper territory than she thought. Which, yeah, Christian could have reiterated to her what "hard limit" means, but it's also her responsibility to respect his boundaries. Even after Christian grudgingly reveals that he had a rough go of it as a kid, Ana keeps prying; he keeps shutting down; she pries some more. (**I don't mean to say that he's a great communicator nor belittle the discomfort and confusion she feels when she tries sceneing with him, either; it's natural to struggle to come to terms with having something done to you that you're not sure you should have done, feeling demeaned, feeling ashamed that you allowed it, feeling ashamed that you liked it, etc.) It's just a poor portrayal of being respectful of someone's triggers, especially because the book appears to be heading to a place where Ana is going to coax his sad sad broken soul to accept love, at which point his traumatic childhood will presumably be erased and she will lay healing kisses across his scarred, manly chest.
Or maybe I'm underestimating. I did underestimate a key aspect of this book.
*No, seriously. Actually, it comes on the heels of a witty little exchange:
"Your ass is a glorious color," he says approvingly, and he tenderly massages the cooling lotion into my pink behind.
"Spill the beans, Grey." I yawn.
"Miss Steele, you know how to ruin a moment."
"We had a deal."
"How do you feel?"
"Shortchanged."
He sighs, slides in beside me, and pulls me into his arms. […] "The woman who brought me into this world was a crack whore, Anastasia. Go to sleep."
And then they go to sleep.
Oh, and on page 413, Ana finally Googles Christian. Starting with Google Images.
It is not Google but Ana's mom who makes her realize something obvious: "Men aren't really complicated, Ana, honey. They are very simple, literal creatures. They usually mean what they say. […] If I were you, I'd take him literally. That might help." ...Which is followed five lines later by: I gaze at my mom. She is on her fourth marriage. Maybe she does know something about men after all.
Another LOL:
"What was that music?" I mumble almost inarticulately.
"It's called Spem in Alium, a forty-part motet by Thomas Tallis."
"It was… overwhelming."
"I've always wanted to fuck to it."
Cultured gentleman, thy name is Christian Grey.
All right, but criticism aside for a sec, there are moments where Ana expresses a much-welcome clear opinion about what she's facing:
Because I think I love you, and you just see me as a toy. Because I can't touch you, because I can't show you any affection in case you flinch or tell me off or worse-beat me?
"I feel ambivalent about it. I don't like it, but I don't hate it. […] I do it for you, Christian, because you need it. I don't. […] When you want to punish me, I worry that you'll hurt me."
And there are moments where Christian describes what he wants in a safe/sane/consensual way:
What I think you fail to realize is that in Dom/sub relationships it is the sub who has all the power. Not I. In the boathouse you said no. I can't touch you if you say no-that's why we have an agreement-what you will and won't do. If we try things and you don't like them, we can revise the agreement. It's up to you-not me.
YES. THANK YOU. Then why all the fuss about the contract?? If you had said this before PAGE 400 and stuck to it instead of sounding like an inflexible control freak stalker dom who's pressing his case onto an almost totally ignorant young woman every other page, I would have felt far more comfortable about Ana agreeing to the whole arrangement. (I found his three-page email to her on p 399-401 refreshing and even a bit sexy in his willingness to explain himself and negotiate with her. He also stresses the importance of communication, being honest and working together to make the arrangement mutually agreeable as they go; says he'll give her space; and suggests setting aside his "playroom" as the one space in which she is meant to act as a sub.) They revisit the conversation at an IHOP (458) and in his apartment (498), so it does seem consistent until nearly the end of the book that they're going to try for a compromise in which Ana agrees to try some stuff and follow the rules and Christian agrees to be adaptable and to try for romance/affection in addition to sex.
However, it's impossible to judge whether this is really how Christian will treat Ana when the book can't make up its mind about his stalker-controller tendencies or Ana's responses to same. A few pages after promising space, he follows her to Georgia and interrupts her visit with her mom. Ana's pissed but then decides she's happy he's there. Elsewhere, he makes a joke about kidnapping her. He writes that he likes when she challenges him outside the playroom, only to say later that she's exasperating. That's one of the things Ana calls him on: "But, here's the thing-one moment you say 'don't defy me,' the next you say you like to be challenged. That's a very fine line to tread successfully." / He gazes at me for a moment, then frowns. "I can see that. But you seem to be doing fine so far." He tracks her menstrual cycle, texts her that he knows what she's drinking because he's watching her, and then acts all wounded when Ana assumes he already knows where she's landed a job:
"You don't know?" [Ana asks.]
He shakes his head, frowning. "Why would I know?"
"With your stalking capabilities, I thought you might have…" I trail off as his face falls.
"Anastasia, I wouldn't dream of interfering in your career, unless you ask me to, of course." He looks wounded.
Nice emotional manipulation, buddy. Or so you'd say, dear reader, if you're assuming consistent characterization.
As for the sex, it gets annoying because 1) it interrupts scenes when the characters about to make progress, 2) it's still written so floridly you can't help but roll your eyes and/or skim and/or post excerpts to your LJ, and 3) it's hardly kinky. At the end of the book, we've only had (if memory serves) two spankings, two scenes in Christian's playroom (one two-minute encounter with a crop + hands chained over her head, and one sensory deprivation + chained spread-eagled). There's an awful lot of "vanilla" sex here for a dude who claims he's not interested in it and for a book that purports to be a journey into the dark erotic netherworld of S&M or whatever.
And I come, my orgasm ripping through me, a turbulent, passionate apogee that devours me whole. And suddenly Christian crushes me to him […] "Ana, baby!" he cries, and it's a wild invocation, stirring and touching the depths of my soul.
While Ana ultimately runs crying after a full-power session with a belt (she asked to see how painful it could be) and after her first spanking punishment, her curiosity does rouse for much of the milder kink and the less intimidating implements in Christian's playroom. And she does appear to thoroughly enjoy the non-pain-related parts of their sexplorations. ...I have forgotten where I was headed with that, other than to try to answer my earlier question about whether Ana was going to transform into a pain-loving natural-born sub who just hadn't been introduced to her true tastes. So: No.
Also. I don't know where this fits in, so I will just point out here that while everything else is going on, Ana does feel pressured on several occasions to do what Christian wants because she feels that if she says no, he'll reject her. That is not the rosy picture of consent the contract paints, nor does Christian help alleviate such concerns when he runs so hot and cold. Her instinct to deal with him and his proposal in all-or-nothing terms contributes to their concluding argument.
Summary Thoughts
This book was not good in the following areas: prose; pacing; coherent characterization; relationship building; conflation of day-to-day controlling behavior with a penchant for sexual dominance; strong insinuation that liking kinky sex means you are abnormal and broken; inner goddess writing tic; overblown sex scenes; OH and ETA the random racism, like, "Oh, there is an African-American young woman over there at my potential internship reception desk and she seems like someone I could be friendly with" -- not "friends with" -- "let me describe her hair." To quote Bella and Ana, "ugh." /ETA I think that it did a fair job of depicting the nature of kink negotiation and some of the appeal of BDSM play. At least, it didn't do nearly as terrible a job as I was braced for. And while Ana and Christian were giving me whiplash as they tried to get something off the ground, the book succeeded in making me think hard about the nature of dom/sub lifestyle relationships (this reader is more familiar with dom/sub scenes), at what point enough trust has been established between partners to go further safely, and whether I personally would ever feel comfortable giving blanket consent. Even if those might not have been challenges issued by the author but rather consequences of the aforementioned inconsistency.
TBD whether the second book merits a complete read...
Thanks much to those of you who've been following along these last few days and who have not made fun of me for giving the book a shot. Now to respond to comments!
ETA: oh holy GOD I am not going to make it through the second book. Page 1 squicked me the hell out and by page 15 I've already snorted out loud, shut my eyes in pain, and boggled at the density of repeated phrases from the first book.
ETA 2: Notes on the sequel.