... touching base after a long time...

blowing money. the girl sent texts, we talked about 2 min, said she'd call back in 2 min. never did. texts meant a lot. but no call back, kind of like a head yank... oh well...

... back again... wondering if i will return to this as solace... doing this from phone. no laptop... so, too much time to nuance... simplified, i am hungry, lonely... also fucked up... i am intelligent enough to recognize how very damaged and dysfunctional that i am... and due to the same, i have no ability to better, rectify my life... i am very ( Read more... )

after all these years, still dealing with the same issues... and a few more added... just a notation about this recent girl... how i can screw things up... does feel better writing here... for myself, should i forget someday, she's the beautiful little country girl with a big heart from a small town... am living at sun, 3 amigos...

long time. don't even know how this works any more. fb not cutting it. interim, kansas girl, then ... i don't know how to say... just another broken heart, over a precious tragedy... off meds almost 2 weeks. nightmares.

quite a reversal of fortune ( Read more... )

had flu. missed all last week. "relapse" yesterday, out today. still depression. hard, but been worse. no meds. few months w/o, so ok. hard being isolated. will get over this broken heart someday. or go crazy(er), or die. ... empty. just trying to keep moving foward... there are moments of levity... don't think i know how to pray anymore... still ( Read more... )

just taking a moment to say hello...

med-tired... lonely and depressed...

out...

never would ever have guessed i'd be posting from here. A year plus in time. strange, seems that long and doesn't. have been working most of that time ( Read more... )

drank last night. not a lot for me. still, enough ( Read more... )