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... back again... wondering if i will return to this as solace... doing this from phone. no laptop... so, too much time to nuance... simplified, i am hungry, lonely... also fucked up... i am intelligent enough to recognize how very damaged and dysfunctional that i am... and due to the same, i have no ability to better, rectify my life... i am very selfish in that, probably mostly... but also, i would be so thankful to be able to function more capably, normally, for those whom i love...