Two days ago Sarah told Elizabeth that she was going to die. It wasn't in those words, but she knew by the look on her face what had happened. Two days ago Elizabeth saw Josef's death too. As promised, she has not moved from his side except to write an entry to those that she wanted to write to, that she could remember that she needed to write to even then she was in Josef's arms while she wrote that
( ... )
It should be horrible to think. People would think that it would be horrible to think that way, but for them it isn't at all. They do not want to live without the other. There would be nothing left of the one that survived, and it is a comfort and a relief that they will die together.
It does not mean that she does not feel tense as she steps down the middle of the sidewalk. The tenseness slides through her, because she knows that it is coming and she knows that she will have to watch it happen. Elizabeth would never be okay with seeing him hurt, seeing him hurt that much.
There was very little that she saw when she saw his death, but she saw blood, his blood. There was so much of it, and she doesn't let herself think too much about it over the two days that they have. When they go out, it is only the two of them, living life, holding on to the few hours that are left of it. She has not slept as she promised herself that she would not sleep
( ... )
For all his complaints about time and how it has flown by far too quickly for his liking, in all its unforgiving rage, the last few minutes slow down. They slow down to an almost uncomfortable lull and it's all in slow motion, despite the fact his mind is screaming and he's attempting to move and think and speak as quickly as possible. It's like finding himself slipping through quicksand, stuck at the very end.
There is comfort at the fact they took every moment they possibly could and spent it together. It had been so long since they could do that, just the two of them, with no burden at their shoulders. She hadn't smiled as much as she has in the past two days, and it was so beautiful to see, it was the most beautiful thing to see and still.
He is not ready. He is not ready to lose her. He is not ready to watch her die.
Josef is horrified he can't stop it, horrified that he sees the car coming and it's coming too fast, everything is coming to an end too fast, and it needs to stop, so he can regroup, so he can think, so he can do
( ... )
Sonny does not see the journal entry before he will find out what happened. He had been headed down toward Josef's to discuss something with him. It doesn't really matter what it was, because it completely flies out of his head at the sight that waits in front of him.
There were people running in the other direction, and he should have known, but in Chicago it could mean anything. There could be a monster. There could be something completely harmless that was impossible to explain. It doesn't stop him from walking more quickly in the direction, and he reaches for his gun as he turns the corner and freezes.
FuckThere is a lot of blood and two bodies and a torn car that looks almost identical to the car that tried to take on his own team before, and it takes less time than it should to put it all together. Sonny moves forward with purpose despite the dread that has turned into fire in his chest. He shoves it down, artfully aware of shoving down his own emotions, very experienced with seeing dead bodies of people he knows or doesn't
( ... )
There is no space to miss anyone. Not at this moment in time. Everything will fade eventually and she will be left with the weight of what has happened, the weight of what is yet to happen, but for the time being, the angel is at the forefront and the angel commands herself fully. The angel within the body is strong even if the body itself must be a terrible sight
( ... )
Sonny remains where he is standing, and he can tell before she's spoken that the angel is louder than the girl. This does not come from knowing Sarah. It comes from being as experienced as he is. He has seen so many people in their moments when their calling is strongest, and it is not quite human, the expression, always easy for him to pick out.
The angel may be fine but the girl is not, which is why although there is a disbelieving look on his face, he does not question whether or not she is fine. The angel is fine. The girl is not. She doesn't have to say that for him to know.
It's written all over her body like she hasn't slept or ate in days. It's what they do, it's what they do because they can't-- they can't do anything else.
"I know you did," Sonny says softly as he looks at her, and it is rare for him to interact with angels of death but this isn't the first time. This isn't the first time, and each time it hurts, because they're always so fucking young. "You helped them. They wren't alone
( ... )
Charlie knows that paranoia. He went through it for years, where even in a catatonic state, he couldn't look in the eyes of the people around him. Not even the angel was strong enough to fight through that -- not if the man was too broken in the first place. Or maybe the problem with Charlie was that there was never the angel and the man, two separate entities that could never meet in the middle. He was raised to believe that your Calling was a part of you, and whatever it was there was no separating the two
( ... )
It's almost crippling, the fear that takes over at the thought, the thought of looking into the eyes of people she knows and cares for, and seeing their deaths. It almost makes her not want to see them again at all, which is a horrible thought. She has helped people die before. Death has always made sense to her. One is born and one dies and in between, there's something like life to get through. She had never, ever helped a friend die. She'd never had friends before, and she's starting to remember why.
It's harder to care. It's harder to love than it is to be alone.
She doesn't know if she believes him or not, doesn't quite look him in the eye still, but there is so much relief at the sound of his voice. Charlie is the first gentle and familiar face she's seen all night, and it's enough for Sarah to want to latch on. Not the angel, who's almost cold in the face of the devastation
( ... )
Sonny needed someone to take care of Sarah. That was just as hard to see as the rest if not more difficult. The dying at least have peace from further loss, and it's a cold, cold comfort but it is better than nothing, and it is much harder to live in the face of something like that and he Needed to know she'd be watched out for.
It was the most comforting thing that could have been done for him. Sonny knew John would take care of her, protect her with all of his ability and not leave until he knew for certain that no further harm would come to her. It allowed Sonny to move forward with what he needed to do
( ... )
The pressure can be felt, and while he logically knows there was no way to find out who Josef was working with, the thought of them making such a bold move in scuh a graphic way reminds John exactly what they've gotten themselves involved in. There's a lot of people to worry about, both his family and his ward, who apparently knew Josef, and that's distressing on so many levels
( ... )
They all knew what they were getting into, and it became evident as they started getting into it that they really didn't have a choice at the end of the day
( ... )
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It does not mean that she does not feel tense as she steps down the middle of the sidewalk. The tenseness slides through her, because she knows that it is coming and she knows that she will have to watch it happen. Elizabeth would never be okay with seeing him hurt, seeing him hurt that much.
There was very little that she saw when she saw his death, but she saw blood, his blood. There was so much of it, and she doesn't let herself think too much about it over the two days that they have. When they go out, it is only the two of them, living life, holding on to the few hours that are left of it. She has not slept as she promised herself that she would not sleep ( ... )
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There is comfort at the fact they took every moment they possibly could and spent it together. It had been so long since they could do that, just the two of them, with no burden at their shoulders. She hadn't smiled as much as she has in the past two days, and it was so beautiful to see, it was the most beautiful thing to see and still.
He is not ready. He is not ready to lose her. He is not ready to watch her die.
Josef is horrified he can't stop it, horrified that he sees the car coming and it's coming too fast, everything is coming to an end too fast, and it needs to stop, so he can regroup, so he can think, so he can do ( ... )
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There were people running in the other direction, and he should have known, but in Chicago it could mean anything. There could be a monster. There could be something completely harmless that was impossible to explain. It doesn't stop him from walking more quickly in the direction, and he reaches for his gun as he turns the corner and freezes.
FuckThere is a lot of blood and two bodies and a torn car that looks almost identical to the car that tried to take on his own team before, and it takes less time than it should to put it all together. Sonny moves forward with purpose despite the dread that has turned into fire in his chest. He shoves it down, artfully aware of shoving down his own emotions, very experienced with seeing dead bodies of people he knows or doesn't ( ... )
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The angel may be fine but the girl is not, which is why although there is a disbelieving look on his face, he does not question whether or not she is fine. The angel is fine. The girl is not. She doesn't have to say that for him to know.
It's written all over her body like she hasn't slept or ate in days. It's what they do, it's what they do because they can't-- they can't do anything else.
"I know you did," Sonny says softly as he looks at her, and it is rare for him to interact with angels of death but this isn't the first time. This isn't the first time, and each time it hurts, because they're always so fucking young. "You helped them. They wren't alone ( ... )
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It's harder to care. It's harder to love than it is to be alone.
She doesn't know if she believes him or not, doesn't quite look him in the eye still, but there is so much relief at the sound of his voice. Charlie is the first gentle and familiar face she's seen all night, and it's enough for Sarah to want to latch on. Not the angel, who's almost cold in the face of the devastation ( ... )
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It was the most comforting thing that could have been done for him. Sonny knew John would take care of her, protect her with all of his ability and not leave until he knew for certain that no further harm would come to her. It allowed Sonny to move forward with what he needed to do ( ... )
Reply
The pressure can be felt, and while he logically knows there was no way to find out who Josef was working with, the thought of them making such a bold move in scuh a graphic way reminds John exactly what they've gotten themselves involved in. There's a lot of people to worry about, both his family and his ward, who apparently knew Josef, and that's distressing on so many levels ( ... )
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