The pressure can be felt, and while he logically knows there was no way to find out who Josef was working with, the thought of them making such a bold move in scuh a graphic way reminds John exactly what they've gotten themselves involved in. There's a lot of people to worry about, both his family and his ward, who apparently knew Josef, and that's distressing on so many levels.
He makes it back as soon as he can, knowing that his absence will be a worry. They're going to have their guards up more so than usual this time around, and they'll want to keep a close eye on their own. John scratches the back of his neck and nods back his greeating. "Hey," he says, and the concern for the whole situation is set aside as the concern for his brother returns instead.
John hadn't wanted to leave Sonny in that apartment alone with Damon, aware of what could happen. Gates joined in later, but it's not the same as John being there and ensuring it's all okay. Not that anything about this is...okay.
John doesn't answer the question with words, so much as a heavy sigh and the shake of his head. "A friend came over though, so I headed on back, but I'll still go over there tomorrow again to check," he says. He'd have stayed longer, but he could sense that a stranger was making it worse, and after what happened, the familiar is going to be more of a comfort.
If anyone can understand that, it's John himself, but he's a guardian, and so he had to stay until he absolutely knew it was alright to leave.
It always gets to him, no matter who it is, but it's made so much worse when they're so fucking young. The girl with Josef was only eighteen. The girl who helped them die and saw everything was even younger.
Even Josef himself was young, barely in his mid twenties.
They all knew what they were getting into, and it became evident as they started getting into it that they really didn't have a choice at the end of the day.
Sonny had the artifact they were looking for. There was no choice, and it was only luck or gumption that they choice to go after them on the same year that the Society would increase their search for those artifacts. One way or another, they would have had to be involved, and it's better that they were prepared and watching out for it than to be caught unaware like they were when half their family died.
He looks up at him when he enters, sensing the concern. It could have been worse in that apartment, could have been better too. All that blood, all that anger, of course the demon would be strong, loud, drive him to what it did, and when he thinks about the bodies out on the sidewalk, sometimes he thinks it should have been.
Sonny nods. He knew the answer already before asking, knew that it wouldn't be able to be put into words. "That's... good. Thank you," e says though he knows John would have done so anyway, it's-- still that is what comforted him more than anything else, knowing she'd be looked after. There is no telling who if anyone from the Society has potentially seen her.
Not to mention, she was already a mess after what had happened understandably so, she was already broken, and he just wouldn't feel comfortable leaving someone so broken, especially a girl as young as she is... alone when she's that broken.
Sonny looks at his brother across the table. He lets out a long breath, sliding his hand behind his neck. He can feel the pressure, and Sonny knows that John can too. They're old. They're a lot older than the people that died today and the girl that had to be at the heart of it all.
It hurts. It angers him more than he can say, but the demon is relatively quiet after what happened earlier.
"Are you okay?"
Sonny doesn't know if there's really an answer to that either that he doesn't already know. There's the pressure, and they can both feel it, but there's no way to take away that pressure. They're in this, and they would be one way or another, no matter what.
John nods, not entirely sure he can say you're welcome about something that comes so naturally to him.
If someone needs looking after, whether he knows them or not, he has to go and do it. It isn't in him to do anything else, and it likely wasn't as intense as it is now, but it's intense now that he's a guardian, years and years of being a guardian, that instinct to protect so ingraiend in him it's as effortless as breathing.
And he did want to do something to help Sonny, to not feel so useless about the whole situation, and the thought of a girl not even eighteen having to witness what she witnessed makes him sick to his stomach.
Sadly enough, it doesn't surprise him, either.
These are the people that killed half of their family without a second thought. Included in that half was a little girl not even five years old. They're heartless monsters, and they will stop at absolutely nothing to get what they want. Not even gunning down two young people on the sidewalk of their home for a stupid locket and who knows what else.
"I'm... you know," he says with a shrug. He doesn't know if he can articulate it or not. They are older, and they are tired, but that never stops them from doing what it is they need to do. It never stops them from continuing on, knowing what could happen if they did. "I'm pissed. Disgusted. Worried. Take your pick."
The thought of them being so close by after everything they've done is enough to rattle him, and John isn't ashamed of admitting it.
It would be unnatural if any of them weren't unsettled.
"How you holdin' up?" he asks, since he's much more interested in everyone else being okay than he is for himself. John will never want to spotlight focused on him. His way of focusing and being okay is making sure everyone else is okay. It's always been that way, and it always will be.
Sonny knows that he can't really say a you're welcome. There's nothing that has happened lately that someone could thank him for that he'd want one of those for even if he's done good things.
Somewhere in that dark mess where he tore another person apart, he did good things too. He doesn't let himself forget about that, and he couldn't forget about that. Much as the screams are more the type to stay with him after all is said and done, and he's left with what he's left with.
He looks in is hands and he doesn't always know what he'll find, but they're never really free of blood and decisions have to be made and they're things that he can live with. Things that have to be done, but they are well aware of these-- of what the Society has done in the past without hesitation or thought.
Age is not-- it doesn't matter to them. They're the worst scum of the Earth, and he could never feel any guilt over making them scream, tearing them apart knowing that they have no limits and more would die if they didn't get information that they need, if they weren't killed right there and then.
Sonny looks over at his brother, quietly because he knows him and knows he's more the type to take care of everyone else, and they're old. In comparison to those kids that died today, to most of their family, they're old. "I'll pick all three," he says with a slight smirk that doesn't really last, that falls after a moment.
It weighs between the both of them.
It's heavy. But it always will be.
He slides a hand over his face at the question and he always promised his brother-- well he promised him not long ago that e would always try to open up to him if nothing else, open up to someone. "Better than I could be," Sonny says quietly. He's not shut away in his office, not drinking more than he can handle. "I can't stop thinking about it, about what their next plan is, how to be better fucking prepared for this shit."
Even knowing there's nothing else, it's just a means of obsession of some kind or another. "He left me the locket."
"Picking all three works," John says, and he rises from his spot but it is only to move toward the bar, behind the counter. He has worked behind the counter for over a decade, cannot begin to explain how he knows every square inch of this place like the back of his hand, maybe even better than that. Tonight, he walks heavily, like the weight can be seen on his shoulders.
He fixes both of them a drink.
He knows Sonny's favorite, and it might help with taking off the edge some, though he wouldn't be surprised if Sonny's already had a drink. With the night that's been had, more than several drinks are in order, and they have a bar--it's the logical conclusion, really.
Once he returns, he sits across from his brother for good, with the drinks now both in front of them. The lights are off and there's only the streetlights shining in through the windows. John leans back, can't really bother to look and see what time it is, but he nods at what Sonny says. As far as answers go, better than I could be is something he'll have to live with.
The alternative would be far worse, and John trusts Sonny to take it all on. He always has, even when it shouldn't be him always making those decisions, even when he should have a respite from all of it, but he does it anyway.
"Could drive yourself mad that way," John points out quietly. Unable to stop thinking about it, about everything that could happen. He understands why it's necessary tonight, but the paranoia might make them slip further. They need a contingency plan and they need to move fast, and John's aware these are all things Sonny must've already thought about.
He left me the locket.
John lifts his head at the announcement, setting the drink down after taking a lengthy sip from it. "Well, damn," he says. He can see how that's both a good thing and a dangerous thing. Means they have more that the Society could be coming after, and it also means they have one more thing that could serve as protection.
"Why do you think they killed him?" he asks. "I mean, they wanted the locket, but they still weren't sure where it was, even if they know he had it. They know for sure we have the compass, and that's what's kept us alive, so why was it different for him?"
There's a piece of the puzzle they're missing here, isn't it?
There don't need to be any lights for them to both know where they're going in the Crowbar. They could be blind, and they would navigate the whole place without any trouble at all. It's theirs. It is their bar, and they built it with their own hands from the ground up, and it would be impossible to not know it as well as they do after all this time.
Sonny tries to keep as much as he can about the bar the same, because so much of the city outside is changing every year, every month. Hell, sometimes it feels like everyday, there's some new hole in the city, some new rubble or some new building in place of where rubble once was, knocked down by monsters, dragons. God only knows in a place like this.
This building has as much protection as possible on it. It has protection of the magical kind and the technological kind. It's fucking heaped in it since he- they would spare no cost to keep it safe, and it may only be a building at the end of the day. Sonny would much rather see it go down in flames than have anyone else die, but it's still theirs.
Sometimes he swears it's what's kept his sanity in tact more than most other things. It reminds him of so many people that they have lost. It's like they're still there in some ways, and it was like that after John left too, part of the reason that he could never really physically leave it, because it would be like leaving John too, the remnants, the reminders, the memories packed into the walls.
Sonny looks up when John returns though the lights are dim inside. He reaches for the drink appreciatively, nodding his thanks. Sonny has already had a drink, but he's nowhere near dangerous levels (the point where he becomes an asshole) when it comes to drinking and he could use another.
"Yeah, I know. I'm going to try to tear my thoughts from it," he says softly, slipping a hand across his face and glancing down a the tabletop. "Least for a little while at some point."
Tonight, it's not really going to happen, but he knows it's necessary or he'll fucking lose any objectivity that he has in this to keep them all safe and alive. Though he is aware there is not always a lot of choice that comes with it. He can try his damndest to protect them all and they could all die tomorrow.
Well, damn.
Sonny nods, taking a long drink from his own glass. "We needed to have it eventually anyway, but... puts us at a little more risk while giving us a little more power. If we crack this one too..."
They'll have another piece.
He shakes his head at the question, letting out a long sigh. "I don't know. I've been wracking my brain with it since I stumbled on their fuckin' bodies. I don't know if they are feeling pressure from somewhere. Well, that and his uncle, Nikolas, had been involved in the Society. Makes him more of a liability for them because God knows what kind of information Nikolas might have left around for him to find."
It still feels like something's missing but that's as best as he can figure.
"I don't think they knew he was on to them, fighting against them, but they did that as a message. In case he was. In case anyone was working with him."
This is what happens.
"Like the--" The 'message' they got. Not that they had enough information then to know what it meant, the manner of the killing of half of their family still serves as a message because years later they all remember it and all keep it in mind when thinking about what the Society can do.
"It's all I ask," John says gratefully. If Sonny had reached that limit with the drinking, John knows and trusts Sonny would turn the drink down. As it is, one more drink after tonight is not going to be hurting either of them. "I get it's not happening tonight, but... in general, is what I mean. I'm gonna need the reminderes later on myself."
Sonny understands that too, and together they will attempt to find a balance when it comes to what's too cautious and not cautious enough, what's the right level of concern and what's borderline paranoia that might just hurt them in the long run. It's been his experience that when the concern reaches that level, it makes it more difficult for them to notice what they otherwise might.
It might make it easier for them to slip, and that's something else these people could be counting on.
They could be counting on any one of them to slip, and that's exactly why they can't.
"We knew the risks would be turned up a notch," John says sensibly, taking another long swig of his drink. It burns in his throat before he sets the glass back down again. "There was no way this could be done without the high stakes. If we cracked the next piece, that gives us two clues in our possession, and it could give us far more to go on that we'd know... what to do next."
As that is what he is frustrated with, at the moment.
John has no idea what to do next.
He has no idea what they're planning, no idea what the locket means, no idea how to piece it all together in a way that lets him know how to deal with this best. It's like flying blind, and that's not the kind of approach he's willing to take with all their family on the line, with everyone they care about most on the line.
John nods his head in understanding. He'd forgotten that small factor that changes things so much. Josef's uncle was directly involved in the Society, gave them all kinds of information about it. John can't quite wrap his mind around family doing that, as he can't imagine any of them betraying each other like that, but it happens frequently.
Josef had all the odds stacked against him, unfortunately.
And he probably knew that, too, which makes sense as he turned to Sonny.
"Could be something we'll need to figure out. Nikolas might also be dead, but the dead still talk sometimes," John says. It's something else to go on, in any sense. He doesn't actually believe the dead still talk, more that they leave trails behind that could give them more insight.
It does feel like something's missing, though.
An important piece of the puzzle.
John's head lifts once Sonny's voice abruptly cuts itself off.
He swallows thickly and nods again. It's on all their minds, and that would be inevitable at this point. "So at least we know it's their M.O. and they're not acting out of character," he says quietly. Not like that bizarre near kidnapping that didn't fit with their agenda.
They're in form, and he knows that's not so much a good thing, but better the devil they know.
Sonny would turn down the drinks, because he has to be really fucking far gone to get that far down in the bottle again. Since he usually can maintain his wits to know that he always feels worse after getting that drunk, after being an asshole from being so drunk, but he won't get drunk off of this drink or after a few more if he really wanted.
"I'll give you the reminders when you need them," he says in quiet understanding. They will all need the reminders, and that's what they do for each other. People say a family doesn't make a very good team when dealing with stakes this high.
It's true that it can be their greatest weakness in a lot of ways.
They have more to lose.
They have so much more to lose.
However, they also gain strength in having team members that they each can trust so well, that they love so much, who will fight fiercely and knows someone well enough to know their limits, to know when they need a reminder to keep them on the right track again.
They know how each other functions. They can move appropriately, instinctively with another person out on the 'battlefield' in a sense. They know each others strengths and weaknesses.
And it's been their greatest strength overall to have a team like this which is based so much in family.
"Yeah, I know and there's no way we could have not gotten involved. If we didn't choose to jump into this, they would have come after us eventually anyway, maybe not this year or the next, but soon. They seem to be trying to close this down again," Sonny says, sliding a hand before his neck and finishing half the drink without much thought.
It burns. It slides over his head to ease some of that tension that's going on there right now.
"We've really got the upperhand at the moment even if it doesn't feel like it. I have no doubt if they had any idea that we knew about them, much less are trying to bring them down, it'd all be over already."
But they don't know.
There's no attack against the Crowbar right now.
It doesn't mean he won't want to be prepared for it even knowing that in the event of an attack, they'll find a way to make their mark, send their message.
It's how they operate, which is why they have to move fast. They have to figure out what the pieces of this puzzle all point to if anything, and how they can use that against the Society.
They have to do this or they're fucked pretty much, and Sonny's not about to lie down and give up without a fight, not with his family, not with his family several members of which have been bought more time than they thought they would get before.
At huge prices.
John came back from his ward after a year instead of after several years or... never.
And Lena--
Lena was given more time too.
Like fuck if he's going to let that be taken without tearing the whole fucking universe apart if he has to.
"Yes, they do, and they didn't get in to erase Josef's apartment, but they'll be sending in more reinforcements so next order of business is trying to search what information we can. Which means working with... Damon Salvatore."
Just saying the name makes him look completely disgusted.
Because that is how Sonny feels about Damon.
Disgusted.
Sonny feels John's head lift, gaze resting upon him for a moment before he has to look away.
JOHN. /weeps all tears forever. Yes, they were not acting out of character this time, and it makes sense with how they operate and what they would want to do with something like that. Anyone else looking into those deaths would not trace it back to the Society unless they already knew Josef was going after them or Josef's family had been attached to them.
"Yeah, I'm guessing that's there M.O. this time, but that's... just my guess."
But Sonny tends to be right about a lot of things.
"So we'll find out what we can about the Society, about this... next piece. It's gotta lead somewhere." He just is not sure yet, but he also knows that it's kind of their only hope. "Tonight, we try to get some rest. ...maybe."
John's expression at the revelation isn't any better.
He doesn't know Damon Salvatore personally to really be the best judge, but he doesn't trust him or like him as far as he con throw him either, and Sonny's judgment on the matter is enough to secure John's. That his ward apparently knows both Damon and knew Josef is worrying enough as it is.
There's also the fact Josef didn't have any family left.
The guy didn't have many, if any friends, either.
The one person that did matter most to him was brought down with him, and wiping him from existence would've been easy, they just hadn't counted on all the factors, and fate has a strange way of intervening at times.
The monster, the angel of death who would know the other girl, Damon arriving moments after Sonny did.
"It's the most solid hunch we've got so far," John says. He does defer to Sonny in a lot of instances, as he's usually, if not almost always right about things, and this makes the most sense out of anything else John has heard. It means they have their work cut out for them, but they always knew it'd be getting harder as time went on.
"All right. I'll be checking in on everyone and then getting some rest. Follow yuor own advice, yeah?" he asks, standing and clapping Sonny on the shoulder. He'll be checking in on Sonny eventually, to see if he ever did get rest, but for now, there's the rest of his family he'd also like looking in on.
Just to see them, and the visual and emotional assurance they are all there, under the same roof, alive and as well as they can be.
He'll check in on them all, one by one, but he'll want to check in on Zoe the most.
Zoe is in her own room. She had been checking in on everyone and helping Lena and Lucky and Lou (all the L's) run the Crowbar tonight while John, Sonny, and Gates were gone, taking care of what needed to be taken care of. She'll want to see him as like Sonny she would not be able to sleep until she saw him come home, until she knew he was in one piece.
It's something that would be true on any day of the week.
But it's more true today after everything that happened.
Her door is open so she can hear when he comes up the stairs, which is why she steps into the doorway at the sound of it. It's hard to explain how you can live somewhere so long with these people for so long that you can recognize the sound of someone coming by the sound of them walking up the stairs.
Zoe leans against the doorway for a moment until he reaches the top.
"Hey," she says walking over to him and slipping her arms around his neck, holding him tightly and kissing him without another word. Relief floods through her, and she'd like to feel that for the moment. He's alive, and he's back. Everyone is alive and back.
It's where he knew she would be, and it's the first place that he checks, after he's done making the rounds.
John stands in the doorway for some time, leaning against it, arms folded across his chest, letting relief of his own flood through him. It's more relieving than he can say to know they are all underneath the very same roof, that he can look after them and reassure himself they are alive and they are okay. No one was hurt beyond repair, though he's still concerned about Sonny.
They're brothers, and John is a guardian, and that will always affect him, maybe more so than it would most people.
History isn't repeating itself, at least not for them, not tonight, and it's something to be thankful for. It is everything to be thankful for.
He smiles a little, aware of why she would be worried, and he kisses her back. His arms wind tightly around her waist and bring her forward, neck slipping up her back until it finds the back of her nape. It's a comfort to him as well, and he doesn't say a word himself. They aren't needed at the moment.
"Hey," he says once they've drawn back, and he takes a deep breath and looks at her face, either hand on her upper part of her arms. "How you holding up?"
It seems he's asked that question a lot tonight, but it's important for him to know.
Zoe tightens her hold on him, and she knows why he would be worried about Sonny, she is too and worried about Gates. It's helpless, the way that it lingers in her head. She didn't have to be told the details to know what must have happened. The Society comes in and erases people. It's one of the things they know about them.
They would need to be killed.
They would need to be killed, and with how close this case is to them all, she has no doubts that even if Sonny didn't care about Josef, it would have been rough. She breathes him in, pressing a kiss against his neck while she remains there. Her eyes are closed against him as she focuses on that one fact.
She can feel his heart beating under her hand.
It's a relief to her. Zoe knows him so well, and it means so much to her to be able to feel him, alive under him. Everyone is alive.
And she slides back to the floor in front of him, resting her hands against his shoulders as she looks up at him. There are a lot of emotions, sliding up in her chest, fiery.
"I'm fine. I'm worried, but... I'm fine," Zoe says as she looks up at him. She made her own rounds earlier, and it's funny how they share that one trait where they have to look out for everyone else.
Zoe slips one hand against his face before her hand slides down, resting against his chest for a moment. "What about you?"
John is able to release the breath that had remained clogging up his throat, tightening his chest, throughout this whole time.
He hasn't been able to until now, and it doesn't surprise him as she is always a calming and stabilizing presence in his life, serene and steady and he needs that more than anything.
Especially after nights like tonight.
He runs his hands up her arms and settles them against her shoulders as well, before simply closing his eyes and letting himself linger against that calming feeling that floods through him at her touch, at her words, at just looking at her. The same thought going through his mind, endlessly, like a reassurance, like a reminder.
She is alive. She is well and no one has hurt her this time.
They are all caretakers, in their own way. They would all be looking out for each other, trying to look out for everyone. It's just that John's Calling sometimes makes him fixate on it in a way that he can't help, but he knows and is grateful they all look after each other.
As different as they are, it does seem the two of them, they all in a way, share that trait with each other.
"Pretty much about the same," John says with a small laugh. He slides back down to the floor beside her, looping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close. "I'd been waiting for the other shoe to drop, you know? But didn't quite prepare for something like this."
Not that anything would've prepared him for it. Josef and his girlfriend killed. A kid having to see all of it. The dangers increasing and putting them all at risk. Everyone he loves so much.
Zoe releases a breath of her own, her arms remain around his neck as she rests her face against him. There isn't any movement, isn't any words in this moment, but it's breathing, it's existing. It's holding on to each other as tightly as they can, and the night feels like it's coming to an end even if they can't sleep. It's coming to an end with him here, and they can get through the night and then face tomorrow together, and she feels herself calm and fill with relief at the feel of him against her.
John is alive, and she became so used to not knowing over that year that he was gone, to not having any idea if he was alive, if he was hurt. It doesn't make it any easier though. He should have more time. They all should. Their family is still alive, and losses were had tonight that were absolutely terrible. This case was going to cost them all, and they knew that going into it but it makes it no easier to deal with the loss.
She settles back on her feet. Her hands rest against his chest for a moment before they slide back around him, and she hugs him tight briefly. There's this tightening feeling in her throat that she also breathes through. It feels good for the moment to feel the floor beneath them and remind themselves that they are still alive, still real.
Zoe nods in response, and she reaches for his free hand, locking their fingers together as she sits beside him. She presses her lips together, glancing up at him. "Yea, I know," she says softly. "I think I was too. I have been for a long time, but I don't think we ever can be prepared for something like this and maybe that's a good thing."
She shakes her head.
"I wouldn't want to get desensitized to the point that none of it ever surprised me. I hate that more people, kids are getting involved, hurt by it, killed by it, but that's the Society's choice. Not ours."
They do all that they can to protect the innocent, to protect children, but she knows that the Society would happily use young people to meet their ends. It's sickening.
John's hands slide around her waist tighter when she hugs him, and it helps more than anything else could. There's no one he loves like he loves her, and the reassurance alone that she is alive and as well as she can be would help unlike any and all other reassurances. She's his girlfriend but she's also his partner, and that means there've been close calls in the past, especially as of late. He doesn't forget that as he holds her. All those close calls, all the dangers, all the seemingly impossible obstacles.
There might not be sleep, but at least they know they're all here together.
That's what matters most to him. As long as that's true, he can get through anything. If the past two years have taught him anything at all, it's that he can get through anything, he can withstand anything, as long as that one truth remains. The rest can fall where it may.
He looks down at their hands and smiles faintly at the sight of them. John brings over her hand to his mouth, brushing a soft kiss against the warm surface of it, before he places it back down on his lap, their fingers still locked together. He doesn't answer immediately, doesn't feel the need to as he knows he can say anything to her, and he can also be quiet. "When you look at it that way, maybe it really is," he says, as it means they've left what humanity they should.
He would rather be sickened by it than find that he doesn't even bat an eyelash anymore. Like the doctor that tells so many patients that the person on their operating table died, that he doesn't even feel sorry for it anymore.
John lets out a small breath that almost sounds like a laugh, but it isn't at all. He shakes his head, despite the fact he is agreeing with her. "Think that's what always gets me most. Gets Sonny most, too. Just seeing kids get caught in the crossfire. One of 'em was eighteen. The one that died. The one Sonny sent me to check in on wasn't even that."
But they have Callings, and Callings are sometimes above and beyond them and their own choices.
It helps her to be able to hug him too, to feel his arm slide around her and keep her close to him. Zoe closes her eyes, letting out a long breath. There is no one in the world, in the universe that she will ever love like she loves him. There's no one she could have given her heart to like she did with him.
No one she could trust with her heart like she trusts him with her heart, and it took many years for her to reach that trusting position though being his partner has always comes seamlessly, naturally.
How ever much time it has taken, it is wonderful, beautiful to be like this with him now. She loves it more than she can say, and it's more of a comfort than anything else could be.
Zoe tightens her hold on his hand, allowing the silence, feeling comfortable in the silence. She rests her back against the bed, closing her eyes before she looks at him when she hears him speak again. "Maybe so," she says, small smile tugging at her lips though there's no happiness in it. There's sadness, there's quiet understanding. "I like to look at it that way. I never want there to come a day where I can process it in a moment and not let it touch me. I feel like that's the day when things like you, this... couldn't touch me too."
There's the good.
There's the bad.
And she can react to one because she can react to another. There comes a time where numbness slides over someone, and they can't feel. They don't feel grief. They do not feel sadness. They do not feel happiness either, and there comes phases where one has to reach those states.
But she always wants to be able to walk out of it too, to find a way through darkness.
Zoe winces inwardly at that sound and she looks up at him, taking it in and swallowing back the knowledge of it. "I... think that is what's hardest especially for you and Sonny who have been in it so long." Who likely barely remember what it's like to be that age, but want to protect those who are so young from having to become a part of it. "I hope the one that you checked in on will be okay that's... a lot to take in. I can't imagine being that age and seeing all of that. I know people in Chicago are strong, but it would be understandable if something like that... broke someone." Beyond repair. "Still the Society has taken so much already."
The pressure can be felt, and while he logically knows there was no way to find out who Josef was working with, the thought of them making such a bold move in scuh a graphic way reminds John exactly what they've gotten themselves involved in. There's a lot of people to worry about, both his family and his ward, who apparently knew Josef, and that's distressing on so many levels.
He makes it back as soon as he can, knowing that his absence will be a worry. They're going to have their guards up more so than usual this time around, and they'll want to keep a close eye on their own. John scratches the back of his neck and nods back his greeating. "Hey," he says, and the concern for the whole situation is set aside as the concern for his brother returns instead.
John hadn't wanted to leave Sonny in that apartment alone with Damon, aware of what could happen. Gates joined in later, but it's not the same as John being there and ensuring it's all okay. Not that anything about this is...okay.
John doesn't answer the question with words, so much as a heavy sigh and the shake of his head. "A friend came over though, so I headed on back, but I'll still go over there tomorrow again to check," he says. He'd have stayed longer, but he could sense that a stranger was making it worse, and after what happened, the familiar is going to be more of a comfort.
If anyone can understand that, it's John himself, but he's a guardian, and so he had to stay until he absolutely knew it was alright to leave.
It always gets to him, no matter who it is, but it's made so much worse when they're so fucking young. The girl with Josef was only eighteen. The girl who helped them die and saw everything was even younger.
Even Josef himself was young, barely in his mid twenties.
They were all kids in John's eyes.
Reply
Sonny had the artifact they were looking for. There was no choice, and it was only luck or gumption that they choice to go after them on the same year that the Society would increase their search for those artifacts. One way or another, they would have had to be involved, and it's better that they were prepared and watching out for it than to be caught unaware like they were when half their family died.
He looks up at him when he enters, sensing the concern. It could have been worse in that apartment, could have been better too. All that blood, all that anger, of course the demon would be strong, loud, drive him to what it did, and when he thinks about the bodies out on the sidewalk, sometimes he thinks it should have been.
Sonny nods. He knew the answer already before asking, knew that it wouldn't be able to be put into words. "That's... good. Thank you," e says though he knows John would have done so anyway, it's-- still that is what comforted him more than anything else, knowing she'd be looked after. There is no telling who if anyone from the Society has potentially seen her.
Not to mention, she was already a mess after what had happened understandably so, she was already broken, and he just wouldn't feel comfortable leaving someone so broken, especially a girl as young as she is... alone when she's that broken.
Sonny looks at his brother across the table. He lets out a long breath, sliding his hand behind his neck. He can feel the pressure, and Sonny knows that John can too. They're old. They're a lot older than the people that died today and the girl that had to be at the heart of it all.
It hurts. It angers him more than he can say, but the demon is relatively quiet after what happened earlier.
"Are you okay?"
Sonny doesn't know if there's really an answer to that either that he doesn't already know. There's the pressure, and they can both feel it, but there's no way to take away that pressure. They're in this, and they would be one way or another, no matter what.
Reply
If someone needs looking after, whether he knows them or not, he has to go and do it. It isn't in him to do anything else, and it likely wasn't as intense as it is now, but it's intense now that he's a guardian, years and years of being a guardian, that instinct to protect so ingraiend in him it's as effortless as breathing.
And he did want to do something to help Sonny, to not feel so useless about the whole situation, and the thought of a girl not even eighteen having to witness what she witnessed makes him sick to his stomach.
Sadly enough, it doesn't surprise him, either.
These are the people that killed half of their family without a second thought. Included in that half was a little girl not even five years old. They're heartless monsters, and they will stop at absolutely nothing to get what they want. Not even gunning down two young people on the sidewalk of their home for a stupid locket and who knows what else.
"I'm... you know," he says with a shrug. He doesn't know if he can articulate it or not. They are older, and they are tired, but that never stops them from doing what it is they need to do. It never stops them from continuing on, knowing what could happen if they did. "I'm pissed. Disgusted. Worried. Take your pick."
The thought of them being so close by after everything they've done is enough to rattle him, and John isn't ashamed of admitting it.
It would be unnatural if any of them weren't unsettled.
"How you holdin' up?" he asks, since he's much more interested in everyone else being okay than he is for himself. John will never want to spotlight focused on him. His way of focusing and being okay is making sure everyone else is okay. It's always been that way, and it always will be.
Reply
Somewhere in that dark mess where he tore another person apart, he did good things too. He doesn't let himself forget about that, and he couldn't forget about that. Much as the screams are more the type to stay with him after all is said and done, and he's left with what he's left with.
He looks in is hands and he doesn't always know what he'll find, but they're never really free of blood and decisions have to be made and they're things that he can live with. Things that have to be done, but they are well aware of these-- of what the Society has done in the past without hesitation or thought.
Age is not-- it doesn't matter to them. They're the worst scum of the Earth, and he could never feel any guilt over making them scream, tearing them apart knowing that they have no limits and more would die if they didn't get information that they need, if they weren't killed right there and then.
Sonny looks over at his brother, quietly because he knows him and knows he's more the type to take care of everyone else, and they're old. In comparison to those kids that died today, to most of their family, they're old. "I'll pick all three," he says with a slight smirk that doesn't really last, that falls after a moment.
It weighs between the both of them.
It's heavy. But it always will be.
He slides a hand over his face at the question and he always promised his brother-- well he promised him not long ago that e would always try to open up to him if nothing else, open up to someone. "Better than I could be," Sonny says quietly. He's not shut away in his office, not drinking more than he can handle. "I can't stop thinking about it, about what their next plan is, how to be better fucking prepared for this shit."
Even knowing there's nothing else, it's just a means of obsession of some kind or another. "He left me the locket."
The next piece of it.
Reply
He fixes both of them a drink.
He knows Sonny's favorite, and it might help with taking off the edge some, though he wouldn't be surprised if Sonny's already had a drink. With the night that's been had, more than several drinks are in order, and they have a bar--it's the logical conclusion, really.
Once he returns, he sits across from his brother for good, with the drinks now both in front of them. The lights are off and there's only the streetlights shining in through the windows. John leans back, can't really bother to look and see what time it is, but he nods at what Sonny says. As far as answers go, better than I could be is something he'll have to live with.
The alternative would be far worse, and John trusts Sonny to take it all on. He always has, even when it shouldn't be him always making those decisions, even when he should have a respite from all of it, but he does it anyway.
"Could drive yourself mad that way," John points out quietly. Unable to stop thinking about it, about everything that could happen. He understands why it's necessary tonight, but the paranoia might make them slip further. They need a contingency plan and they need to move fast, and John's aware these are all things Sonny must've already thought about.
He left me the locket.
John lifts his head at the announcement, setting the drink down after taking a lengthy sip from it. "Well, damn," he says. He can see how that's both a good thing and a dangerous thing. Means they have more that the Society could be coming after, and it also means they have one more thing that could serve as protection.
"Why do you think they killed him?" he asks. "I mean, they wanted the locket, but they still weren't sure where it was, even if they know he had it. They know for sure we have the compass, and that's what's kept us alive, so why was it different for him?"
There's a piece of the puzzle they're missing here, isn't it?
Reply
Sonny tries to keep as much as he can about the bar the same, because so much of the city outside is changing every year, every month. Hell, sometimes it feels like everyday, there's some new hole in the city, some new rubble or some new building in place of where rubble once was, knocked down by monsters, dragons. God only knows in a place like this.
This building has as much protection as possible on it. It has protection of the magical kind and the technological kind. It's fucking heaped in it since he- they would spare no cost to keep it safe, and it may only be a building at the end of the day. Sonny would much rather see it go down in flames than have anyone else die, but it's still theirs.
Sometimes he swears it's what's kept his sanity in tact more than most other things. It reminds him of so many people that they have lost. It's like they're still there in some ways, and it was like that after John left too, part of the reason that he could never really physically leave it, because it would be like leaving John too, the remnants, the reminders, the memories packed into the walls.
Sonny looks up when John returns though the lights are dim inside. He reaches for the drink appreciatively, nodding his thanks. Sonny has already had a drink, but he's nowhere near dangerous levels (the point where he becomes an asshole) when it comes to drinking and he could use another.
"Yeah, I know. I'm going to try to tear my thoughts from it," he says softly, slipping a hand across his face and glancing down a the tabletop. "Least for a little while at some point."
Tonight, it's not really going to happen, but he knows it's necessary or he'll fucking lose any objectivity that he has in this to keep them all safe and alive. Though he is aware there is not always a lot of choice that comes with it. He can try his damndest to protect them all and they could all die tomorrow.
Well, damn.
Sonny nods, taking a long drink from his own glass. "We needed to have it eventually anyway, but... puts us at a little more risk while giving us a little more power. If we crack this one too..."
They'll have another piece.
He shakes his head at the question, letting out a long sigh. "I don't know. I've been wracking my brain with it since I stumbled on their fuckin' bodies. I don't know if they are feeling pressure from somewhere. Well, that and his uncle, Nikolas, had been involved in the Society. Makes him more of a liability for them because God knows what kind of information Nikolas might have left around for him to find."
It still feels like something's missing but that's as best as he can figure.
"I don't think they knew he was on to them, fighting against them, but they did that as a message. In case he was. In case anyone was working with him."
This is what happens.
"Like the--" The 'message' they got. Not that they had enough information then to know what it meant, the manner of the killing of half of their family still serves as a message because years later they all remember it and all keep it in mind when thinking about what the Society can do.
Scare tactic in a sense.
Reply
Sonny understands that too, and together they will attempt to find a balance when it comes to what's too cautious and not cautious enough, what's the right level of concern and what's borderline paranoia that might just hurt them in the long run. It's been his experience that when the concern reaches that level, it makes it more difficult for them to notice what they otherwise might.
It might make it easier for them to slip, and that's something else these people could be counting on.
They could be counting on any one of them to slip, and that's exactly why they can't.
"We knew the risks would be turned up a notch," John says sensibly, taking another long swig of his drink. It burns in his throat before he sets the glass back down again. "There was no way this could be done without the high stakes. If we cracked the next piece, that gives us two clues in our possession, and it could give us far more to go on that we'd know... what to do next."
As that is what he is frustrated with, at the moment.
John has no idea what to do next.
He has no idea what they're planning, no idea what the locket means, no idea how to piece it all together in a way that lets him know how to deal with this best. It's like flying blind, and that's not the kind of approach he's willing to take with all their family on the line, with everyone they care about most on the line.
John nods his head in understanding. He'd forgotten that small factor that changes things so much. Josef's uncle was directly involved in the Society, gave them all kinds of information about it. John can't quite wrap his mind around family doing that, as he can't imagine any of them betraying each other like that, but it happens frequently.
Josef had all the odds stacked against him, unfortunately.
And he probably knew that, too, which makes sense as he turned to Sonny.
"Could be something we'll need to figure out. Nikolas might also be dead, but the dead still talk sometimes," John says. It's something else to go on, in any sense. He doesn't actually believe the dead still talk, more that they leave trails behind that could give them more insight.
It does feel like something's missing, though.
An important piece of the puzzle.
John's head lifts once Sonny's voice abruptly cuts itself off.
He swallows thickly and nods again. It's on all their minds, and that would be inevitable at this point. "So at least we know it's their M.O. and they're not acting out of character," he says quietly. Not like that bizarre near kidnapping that didn't fit with their agenda.
They're in form, and he knows that's not so much a good thing, but better the devil they know.
Reply
"I'll give you the reminders when you need them," he says in quiet understanding. They will all need the reminders, and that's what they do for each other. People say a family doesn't make a very good team when dealing with stakes this high.
It's true that it can be their greatest weakness in a lot of ways.
They have more to lose.
They have so much more to lose.
However, they also gain strength in having team members that they each can trust so well, that they love so much, who will fight fiercely and knows someone well enough to know their limits, to know when they need a reminder to keep them on the right track again.
They know how each other functions. They can move appropriately, instinctively with another person out on the 'battlefield' in a sense. They know each others strengths and weaknesses.
And it's been their greatest strength overall to have a team like this which is based so much in family.
"Yeah, I know and there's no way we could have not gotten involved. If we didn't choose to jump into this, they would have come after us eventually anyway, maybe not this year or the next, but soon. They seem to be trying to close this down again," Sonny says, sliding a hand before his neck and finishing half the drink without much thought.
It burns. It slides over his head to ease some of that tension that's going on there right now.
"We've really got the upperhand at the moment even if it doesn't feel like it. I have no doubt if they had any idea that we knew about them, much less are trying to bring them down, it'd all be over already."
But they don't know.
There's no attack against the Crowbar right now.
It doesn't mean he won't want to be prepared for it even knowing that in the event of an attack, they'll find a way to make their mark, send their message.
It's how they operate, which is why they have to move fast. They have to figure out what the pieces of this puzzle all point to if anything, and how they can use that against the Society.
They have to do this or they're fucked pretty much, and Sonny's not about to lie down and give up without a fight, not with his family, not with his family several members of which have been bought more time than they thought they would get before.
At huge prices.
John came back from his ward after a year instead of after several years or... never.
And Lena--
Lena was given more time too.
Like fuck if he's going to let that be taken without tearing the whole fucking universe apart if he has to.
"Yes, they do, and they didn't get in to erase Josef's apartment, but they'll be sending in more reinforcements so next order of business is trying to search what information we can. Which means working with... Damon Salvatore."
Just saying the name makes him look completely disgusted.
Because that is how Sonny feels about Damon.
Disgusted.
Sonny feels John's head lift, gaze resting upon him for a moment before he has to look away.
JOHN. /weeps all tears forever. Yes, they were not acting out of character this time, and it makes sense with how they operate and what they would want to do with something like that. Anyone else looking into those deaths would not trace it back to the Society unless they already knew Josef was going after them or Josef's family had been attached to them.
"Yeah, I'm guessing that's there M.O. this time, but that's... just my guess."
But Sonny tends to be right about a lot of things.
"So we'll find out what we can about the Society, about this... next piece. It's gotta lead somewhere." He just is not sure yet, but he also knows that it's kind of their only hope. "Tonight, we try to get some rest. ...maybe."
Try not to be bat-like.
Reply
He doesn't know Damon Salvatore personally to really be the best judge, but he doesn't trust him or like him as far as he con throw him either, and Sonny's judgment on the matter is enough to secure John's. That his ward apparently knows both Damon and knew Josef is worrying enough as it is.
There's also the fact Josef didn't have any family left.
The guy didn't have many, if any friends, either.
The one person that did matter most to him was brought down with him, and wiping him from existence would've been easy, they just hadn't counted on all the factors, and fate has a strange way of intervening at times.
The monster, the angel of death who would know the other girl, Damon arriving moments after Sonny did.
"It's the most solid hunch we've got so far," John says. He does defer to Sonny in a lot of instances, as he's usually, if not almost always right about things, and this makes the most sense out of anything else John has heard. It means they have their work cut out for them, but they always knew it'd be getting harder as time went on.
"All right. I'll be checking in on everyone and then getting some rest. Follow yuor own advice, yeah?" he asks, standing and clapping Sonny on the shoulder. He'll be checking in on Sonny eventually, to see if he ever did get rest, but for now, there's the rest of his family he'd also like looking in on.
Just to see them, and the visual and emotional assurance they are all there, under the same roof, alive and as well as they can be.
He'll check in on them all, one by one, but he'll want to check in on Zoe the most.
Reply
It's something that would be true on any day of the week.
But it's more true today after everything that happened.
Her door is open so she can hear when he comes up the stairs, which is why she steps into the doorway at the sound of it. It's hard to explain how you can live somewhere so long with these people for so long that you can recognize the sound of someone coming by the sound of them walking up the stairs.
Zoe leans against the doorway for a moment until he reaches the top.
"Hey," she says walking over to him and slipping her arms around his neck, holding him tightly and kissing him without another word. Relief floods through her, and she'd like to feel that for the moment. He's alive, and he's back. Everyone is alive and back.
It's what's most important right now.
Reply
John stands in the doorway for some time, leaning against it, arms folded across his chest, letting relief of his own flood through him. It's more relieving than he can say to know they are all underneath the very same roof, that he can look after them and reassure himself they are alive and they are okay. No one was hurt beyond repair, though he's still concerned about Sonny.
They're brothers, and John is a guardian, and that will always affect him, maybe more so than it would most people.
History isn't repeating itself, at least not for them, not tonight, and it's something to be thankful for. It is everything to be thankful for.
He smiles a little, aware of why she would be worried, and he kisses her back. His arms wind tightly around her waist and bring her forward, neck slipping up her back until it finds the back of her nape. It's a comfort to him as well, and he doesn't say a word himself. They aren't needed at the moment.
"Hey," he says once they've drawn back, and he takes a deep breath and looks at her face, either hand on her upper part of her arms. "How you holding up?"
It seems he's asked that question a lot tonight, but it's important for him to know.
Reply
They would need to be killed.
They would need to be killed, and with how close this case is to them all, she has no doubts that even if Sonny didn't care about Josef, it would have been rough. She breathes him in, pressing a kiss against his neck while she remains there. Her eyes are closed against him as she focuses on that one fact.
She can feel his heart beating under her hand.
It's a relief to her. Zoe knows him so well, and it means so much to her to be able to feel him, alive under him. Everyone is alive.
And she slides back to the floor in front of him, resting her hands against his shoulders as she looks up at him. There are a lot of emotions, sliding up in her chest, fiery.
"I'm fine. I'm worried, but... I'm fine," Zoe says as she looks up at him. She made her own rounds earlier, and it's funny how they share that one trait where they have to look out for everyone else.
Zoe slips one hand against his face before her hand slides down, resting against his chest for a moment. "What about you?"
Reply
He hasn't been able to until now, and it doesn't surprise him as she is always a calming and stabilizing presence in his life, serene and steady and he needs that more than anything.
Especially after nights like tonight.
He runs his hands up her arms and settles them against her shoulders as well, before simply closing his eyes and letting himself linger against that calming feeling that floods through him at her touch, at her words, at just looking at her. The same thought going through his mind, endlessly, like a reassurance, like a reminder.
She is alive. She is well and no one has hurt her this time.
They are all caretakers, in their own way. They would all be looking out for each other, trying to look out for everyone. It's just that John's Calling sometimes makes him fixate on it in a way that he can't help, but he knows and is grateful they all look after each other.
As different as they are, it does seem the two of them, they all in a way, share that trait with each other.
"Pretty much about the same," John says with a small laugh. He slides back down to the floor beside her, looping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close. "I'd been waiting for the other shoe to drop, you know? But didn't quite prepare for something like this."
Not that anything would've prepared him for it. Josef and his girlfriend killed. A kid having to see all of it. The dangers increasing and putting them all at risk. Everyone he loves so much.
Reply
John is alive, and she became so used to not knowing over that year that he was gone, to not having any idea if he was alive, if he was hurt. It doesn't make it any easier though. He should have more time. They all should. Their family is still alive, and losses were had tonight that were absolutely terrible. This case was going to cost them all, and they knew that going into it but it makes it no easier to deal with the loss.
She settles back on her feet. Her hands rest against his chest for a moment before they slide back around him, and she hugs him tight briefly. There's this tightening feeling in her throat that she also breathes through. It feels good for the moment to feel the floor beneath them and remind themselves that they are still alive, still real.
Zoe nods in response, and she reaches for his free hand, locking their fingers together as she sits beside him. She presses her lips together, glancing up at him. "Yea, I know," she says softly. "I think I was too. I have been for a long time, but I don't think we ever can be prepared for something like this and maybe that's a good thing."
She shakes her head.
"I wouldn't want to get desensitized to the point that none of it ever surprised me. I hate that more people, kids are getting involved, hurt by it, killed by it, but that's the Society's choice. Not ours."
They do all that they can to protect the innocent, to protect children, but she knows that the Society would happily use young people to meet their ends. It's sickening.
Reply
There might not be sleep, but at least they know they're all here together.
That's what matters most to him. As long as that's true, he can get through anything. If the past two years have taught him anything at all, it's that he can get through anything, he can withstand anything, as long as that one truth remains. The rest can fall where it may.
He looks down at their hands and smiles faintly at the sight of them. John brings over her hand to his mouth, brushing a soft kiss against the warm surface of it, before he places it back down on his lap, their fingers still locked together. He doesn't answer immediately, doesn't feel the need to as he knows he can say anything to her, and he can also be quiet. "When you look at it that way, maybe it really is," he says, as it means they've left what humanity they should.
He would rather be sickened by it than find that he doesn't even bat an eyelash anymore. Like the doctor that tells so many patients that the person on their operating table died, that he doesn't even feel sorry for it anymore.
John lets out a small breath that almost sounds like a laugh, but it isn't at all. He shakes his head, despite the fact he is agreeing with her. "Think that's what always gets me most. Gets Sonny most, too. Just seeing kids get caught in the crossfire. One of 'em was eighteen. The one that died. The one Sonny sent me to check in on wasn't even that."
But they have Callings, and Callings are sometimes above and beyond them and their own choices.
It's not fair and it never has been.
Reply
No one she could trust with her heart like she trusts him with her heart, and it took many years for her to reach that trusting position though being his partner has always comes seamlessly, naturally.
How ever much time it has taken, it is wonderful, beautiful to be like this with him now. She loves it more than she can say, and it's more of a comfort than anything else could be.
Zoe tightens her hold on his hand, allowing the silence, feeling comfortable in the silence. She rests her back against the bed, closing her eyes before she looks at him when she hears him speak again. "Maybe so," she says, small smile tugging at her lips though there's no happiness in it. There's sadness, there's quiet understanding. "I like to look at it that way. I never want there to come a day where I can process it in a moment and not let it touch me. I feel like that's the day when things like you, this... couldn't touch me too."
There's the good.
There's the bad.
And she can react to one because she can react to another. There comes a time where numbness slides over someone, and they can't feel. They don't feel grief. They do not feel sadness. They do not feel happiness either, and there comes phases where one has to reach those states.
But she always wants to be able to walk out of it too, to find a way through darkness.
Zoe winces inwardly at that sound and she looks up at him, taking it in and swallowing back the knowledge of it. "I... think that is what's hardest especially for you and Sonny who have been in it so long." Who likely barely remember what it's like to be that age, but want to protect those who are so young from having to become a part of it. "I hope the one that you checked in on will be okay that's... a lot to take in. I can't imagine being that age and seeing all of that. I know people in Chicago are strong, but it would be understandable if something like that... broke someone." Beyond repair. "Still the Society has taken so much already."
And that girl deserves more.
Reply
Leave a comment