RPS Fic: Man's Best Friend (J2, NC-17) 2/2
When he wakes up, Jared’s stumbling around the room as he gets dressed, and Sadie and Harley are trailing him excitedly, tails going a million miles an hour as Jared shoves on his running shoes. Oh, yeah. Jared always takes his dogs for a run first thing on the weekend mornings. But Jensen’s definitely not going to go, not with these puny little legs, so he sighs and rolls over for some more sleep. Jared gives him a little pat before he leaves and promises a walk of his own later. Jensen groans and hopes Jared forgets.
But he can’t get back to sleep after they leave. Apparently one of the downsides of being able to sleep soundly at the drop of the hat is that the opposite’s true - there’s none of his usual fogginess or slow rise to consciousness, just instant, total wakefulness. He sighs and gets up. Might as well use this time to try to get out of this situation.
He hasn’t really been able to achieve much in the way of letting anyone know he’s a dog yet, but Jensen’s still holding out hope that someone will notice his human self is missing soon and connect the dots. Someone will definitely notice if he doesn’t show up for work on Monday, but Jensen would be a little insulted if it took that long for anyone to notice his absence. If not Jared, then at least Mike or Tom or Chris should notice that he isn’t returning any phone calls.
But the less time spent as a dog the better, so Jensen decides to try a few different things in the hopes of getting Jared to figure it out. His first thought is some kind of note, but even after he finds an old script on the floor in the living room, a pen proves impossible to navigate. His paws just slip off, and while holding it in his teeth gets it upright, there’s no way to make legible letters. He could maybe drag a stick through some dirt, or write something with his paws, but the screen door is securely closed and there’s no way Jensen can let himself out without gaining two feet of height and some opposable thumbs.
And he’s really never appreciated just how useful opposable thumbs are. Or even just fingers. Jensen can drag Jared’s cell phone open, but he can’t push any of the keys without creating a mishmash of letters and numbers. Same goes for the computer - Jensen can push the power button, but typing is not an option.
He thinks about trying a deserted island-type rescue message and lining up toothpicks or something, but even if he did manage all that painstaking work, Harley and Sadie would just step on it or eat it before Jared ever saw it.
Thinking about eating reminds Jensen that it’s been a long fourteen hours since dinner last night, but when he wanders into the kitchen, he realizes that’s just another thing he can’t do. The cupboards are too heavy to open, and even then he can’t get a can out or work the can opener. He can’t even chew through the heavy plastic of Sadie and Harley’s bag of kibble.
Jensen gets steadily more pissed as he thinks about it. Without Jared there, Jensen’s shit out of luck when it comes to almost everything he takes for granted every day - he can’t feed himself, he can’t get himself a drink, he can’t even let himself outside to go to the fucking bathroom. He’s completely and totally helpless. Without Jared, he’s basically just screwed.
It’s kind of a scary thought, and that’s when it finally clicks. This is what Leon was trying to get him to realize. How would you feel if your entire survival depended on someone else, huh? Well, now Jensen knows. It pretty much sucks.
And he’s still going to kill Leon, or at least soundly kick his ass, but he’ll probably be nicer to helpless animals in the future. He still hates snakes, and insects are never going to be his friends, but he’ll make an effort. Leon, though. Leon’s going down.
Jensen’s contemplating his revenge (it should definitely include a giant gorilla suit, he decides, and possibly some pudding) when Jared and the dogs finally come back, all sweaty and breathing hard, and it’s move fast or get trampled by Harley and Sadie on their rush for the water bowls.
Jared must have stopped at a pet store on his run, because he digs a tiny collar out of the plastic bag he’s carrying and slips it around Jensen’s neck and clips on a leash. Before Jensen can even object, Jared’s collected Sadie and Harley’s leashes again, and they’re stampeding out the door.
They get some funny looks on the street. With two giant dogs, one giant guy, and then Jensen, it’s kind of like the most obvious “one of these things is not like the other” game Sesame Street ever came up with. But instead of being embarrassed (or wondering if Jared putting a leash and collar on him counts as bondage), Jensen surprises himself by enjoying it. The world is a lot cooler when you can smell everything going on in it, and Jensen tracks the scents of people and animals and cars and food through the air and across the sidewalk. Harley and Sadie are worn out, content to go slow as Jensen wanders from the curb to grassy lawns, sniffing everything he can get his nose near. He usually only sees things going on at his eye level, but there’s so much to see and explore on the ground that it’s insane.
One of Jared’s neighbors comes out and coos over Jensen before picking him up and squishing him into her impressive cleavage, and that’s pretty awesome, too. The best part, though, is circling the block and coming home. Jared pours fresh, cool water into their bowls, and Jensen slurps it up, slobbering half of it all over his front. It feels awesome. Then there’s breakfast, which tastes even better than it did yesterday, and Jared drops a little of his Hot Pocket, which is like a tasty little dog-sized egg and cheese biscuit.
And while Jensen’s licking the floor to get the last crumbs, he realizes that Jared smells different after his run. It’s not just that he’s sweaty, but that’s what Jensen notices the most - how good sweat smells on his skin. Before he knows it, he’s sticking his tongue out for a taste. And oh, God, it’s amazing. Salty and rich and so good, and Jensen happily licks Jared’s entire ankle without a second thought, because he had no idea skin could taste this wonderful.
Jared just laughs, twitching when Jensen’s tongue borders on tickling, and leans down to pet him.
* * *
After he showers, Jared scoops Jensen up and takes him out onto the back patio. The late-morning sun feels good with the cool spring air, and when Jared plops them down on the sun-warmed bricks and pulls out a comb, Jensen discovers what heaven must feel like. Jared works the comb through his fur gently, untangling knots and fluffing curls, and Jensen rolls over onto his back and basks in the sun and the attention.
Jared puts the comb down after a while and just pets him, fingers stroking gently along Jensen’s sensitive belly, and Jensen’s a little surprised at just how good he feels. His dog brain is a little wary of having his stomach exposed like this, but with Jared right there, big hands cradling him, he feels perfectly safe and loved. And it’s not like he feels unsafe or hated in Jared’s presence as a human, but there’s something about being a dog that just simplifies things and makes it easy to accept affection and be happy.
Especially because he can’t stop thinking about Jared’s crush on Mike. It’s not that Jensen has a monopoly on Jared’s time, or anything - he knows Jared has other friends beside him, not to mention his family, and he’s well aware that Jared spends time with them. It’s just that most of those people are in L.A. or Texas or somewhere else, not Vancouver. The thing is, in Vancouver, Jensen’s pretty much used to having Jared to himself. They don’t have a ton of free time, but when they’ve got a weekend off or a few hours to kill, they generally spend it together.
Well, or so Jensen thought. But if Jared’s fallen for Mike, the guy he’s been flirting with for almost three years, then he’s probably been spending a lot of time with him than Jensen even knows. And it’s not that Jensen has any problem with it being a guy - he’d be a huge hypocrite if he did - it’s just that it shakes up everything Jensen thought about where he and Jared stand. Obviously things between them weren’t as honest as he thought, and any ideas he had about having Jared to himself were just as false.
But right now, as stupid as it sounds, feels like the way things are supposed to be. Jared has no idea he’s petting the canine incarnation of his costar, but this - the two of them, him and Jared, sharing a lazy Saturday - feels good. Right. The way things should be.
His dog brain, completely unconcerned with Jensen’s emotional issues, reminds him that petting is awesome and feels really good. Jensen lets it take over.
* * *
“We need to give you a name,” Jared says after a while, rubbing one of Jensen’s ears with his thumb. “Chad’s right, I can’t keep calling you ‘little guy’ forever. Even if you’re only going to be here until I find your owner, you should have a name.”
Jensen, who’s more invested in Jared’s petting than whatever he decides to call him, doesn’t pay much attention. Especially when Jared starts thinking aloud, because there’s only so much of his random, meandering thoughts Jensen can listen to before tuning him out.
“I could go with the obvious,” Jared says. “Tiny or Fluffy or Curly or something. But that’s kind of boring. I found you on the set of the show, but I don’t think you want to be Sam or Dean or Winchester or something. That’d be a little weird.”
Jensen’s not really fond of being called something like Tiny or Fluffy (seriously, what happened to tough dog names? Why can’t Jensen be Killer or Rex or Ozzie or something?) and anything related to the show is just too weird, but he changes his mind when Jared starts going through his favorite foods, because there’s no way Jensen’s going to let Jared name him Jellybean or Gummy Bear or Chunky Monkey or something.
But thankfully, Jared realizes that would be too cruel. “You deserve a real name,” he says, finally. “Like Harley and Sadie. Maybe it should match.” He cycles through a million names ending in -y sounds, then suddenly he snaps his fingers. “That’s it!”
Jensen sits up a little, hopeful.
“Toby!” Jared says happily.
Jensen really wishes he still had the ability to arch one eyebrow, because this is a moment that calls for a face, and his little dog features just won’t comply. Toby is not a dog name. Toby’s a name for, like, some chubby little boy who skins his knees a lot and rides around the neighborhood on a beat-up skateboard. Not a thirty-year-old man suddenly turned into a toy dog.
“You like that?” Jared asks, picking him up. “Huh? Huh, Toby? You like your name?”
And the answer is no, but Jared’s grinning and holding Jensen right next to his face, and his whole attention is focused on Jensen, not Mike, and Jensen can’t help it. His traitorous little tail starts to wag without his consent, making Jared laugh, and after that, it’s kind of a lost cause.
* * *
Later that afternoon, Jared starts picking up around the house and gathering up snacks and ordering pizza, and Jensen remembers that they were all going to come over and watch the hockey game together. Jensen’s not a huge hockey fan, not the way Mike is - Mike can quote stats on just about any player in the league and keeps obsessive tabs on who’s leading what conference - but the Canucks are playing the Stars, so he’s got a vested interest in both teams, home and adopted home. Besides, it evens out that way - he and Jared’ll be rooting for Dallas, and Mike and Tom, who’ve been in Vancouver forever, take the Canadians. They’ll bet crazy amounts of money and drink a lot of beer and yell for fights.
Or at least, they would have, if Jensen hadn’t had his little accident. Now he’ll get a dinner of dog food and locked in the kitchen without even the hope of a dropped chip. And he’ll get to look like a total asshole for not showing up or answering his phone.
Just as he’s thinking that, Jared comes into the living room with his phone to his ear and a frown on his face. After a second, he says, “Hey, Jen. I haven’t heard from you all weekend, so I’m hoping you’re still coming over tonight. If you’re not, call me, okay? I don’t know what’s going on, but please, just…call me.”
He sounds worried and sad, and Harley nudges his head up under Jared’s hand, like he’s trying to make it better, and Sadie hovers anxiously. Jensen, for his part, yips again. Harley and Sadie probably have no idea why he’s saying “Sorry,” but it’s all he can do.
Mike and Tom show up together around six, and Jared gives them both manly, backslapping hugs. It’s no different from the way he is with everyone else, but after the conversation with Chad last night, Jensen watches carefully, trying to spot the signs of Jared’s crush on Mike. Aside from the friendly greeting, though, there’s not much to see.
“Where’s Jensen?” Tom asks, setting down the beer.
“Yeah,” Mike echoes, poking his head into the kitchen. “He promised I could dress him in drag if the Stars lose, and there’s no way I’m passing up that opportunity.”
“He did?” Jared asks immediately. “You’ve talked to him?”
Mike blinks. “Well, not for a few days, but yeah.”
Jared sighs. “I’ve been calling him all weekend, but he never answers.”
“That’s weird,” Tom says. “He wasn’t flying to L.A. or something, was he?”
“If he was, he didn’t mention it to me,” Jared replies.
Jensen hopes they’re finally going to figure out something’s wrong, but Jared just presses his mouth flat, clearly upset, and Mike and Tom just share a look before getting beers and food and settling on the couch.
It’s not until the TV’s on and they’re waiting for the game to start that Jared says, out of the blue, “I think he’s avoiding me.”
Jensen’s sitting on the floor next to the couch with Sadie and Harley, hoping someone will drop a morsel of food, so he sees Tom and Mike doing that weird thing again where they look at each other and don’t say anything.
“Who, Jensen?” Mike asks, finally.
“Yeah,” Jared says morosely.
“Why would he do that?” Tom asks cautiously. “Did you guys have a fight?”
“No,” Jared says. “But he left work on Friday without saying anything to me, he hasn’t answered any of my calls or texts or messages, and his phone isn’t even ringing anymore. It just goes straight to voicemail.”
It’s probably just because the battery died - it was low on Friday, and Jensen obviously didn’t have a chance to charge it - but he can see how it would look bad.
“Maybe he’s just sick or getting some sleep,” Tom suggests. “After all, neither of us has heard from him, either. He could be avoiding everyone.”
“Yeah, but there was this - thing.”
“Thing?”
“Yeah,” Jared says. “Friday. He was doing this scene with snakes, and I know how much he hates having them crawling all over him, so I was kind of trying to reassure him. It wasn’t anything big, I was just rubbing his back a little and then I started rubbing his neck without really thinking about it, and he seemed okay with it, so I didn’t stop.” Jared pauses for breath, looking panicked. “But what if he figured it out?”
Jensen remembers what Jared’s describing, but he has no idea what he’s supposed to have figured out from it - he hadn’t given more than a second’s thought to Jared touching him like that. Jared’s always doing nice stuff like that. It felt really good, too. His hand was warm and Jensen could feel the tense muscles relaxing.
“Because you rubbed his neck?” Mike asks skeptically.
“That was the last time I talked to him! He took off as soon as his scene was done, in a huge hurry. What if it was because he - “ Jared clenches his hands into fists in his lap. “What if he couldn’t even stand to see me?”
The game’s well under way now, the scrape of skates and the occasional whistle in the background, but nobody’s paying attention. Well, Mike’s watching out of the corner of his eye, but he’s mostly focused on Jared. Jensen’s a little pissed on Jared’s behalf, because Jared deserves a boyfriend who’ll concentrate on him, not a bunch of guys on skates.
“Jensen wouldn’t do that,” Tom argues. “He wouldn’t freak out like that.”
“He might! What if he’s totally disgusted?” Jared groans. “God, what if I just ruined our entire friendship?”
Jensen is so confused by this point that his head is starting to hurt. He has less than no idea what he’d be freaking out about or how Jared thinks he’s ruined their friendship - is there some reason Jensen should be avoiding Jared now that he knows Jared’s some kind of unrepentant, sneaky neck-rubber? Is that extremely offensive in some culture he’s never heard of?
Tom sighs. “Look, however Jensen might feel about…that…he cares about you.”
Well, thank God. Jensen’s glad at least someone’s talking a little sense. He’s not about to disown Jared because he likes rubbing necks. Besides, he liked it, which makes him just as weird, and he’s not going to disown himself. They can just be secret, shameful neck-rubbers together and no one will ever have to know.
“Yeah,” Jared admits. “But not the way I - not like that.”
“Okay, so maybe he doesn’t want in your pants,” Mike says. “But that doesn’t mean - wait, motherfucker! That was not slashing, you idiot! You can’t give them a power play like that!” He turns back from the TV. “What was I saying?”
“That Jensen’s not going to freak out over Jared having a crush on him,” Tom supplies.
“Right,” Mike says. “What he said.”
“It’s not a crush,” Jared mumbles, but Jensen doesn’t hear any more, because what the fuck? Jared has a crush on him? The guy Jared’s been lusting after all this time is him? Chad was talking about Jensen last night?
If he wasn’t so goddamned shocked, Jensen would be a little offended right now, because that means Chad was talking about him when he said “He’s not the manliest guy in the world. There’s no way he’s not at least a little into cock.” But whatever. It’s kind of true. And anyway, he has a lot bigger things to worry about. Like the fact that Jared’s apparently been flirting with him for three whole years and Jensen totally missed it. And the fact that Jared wants him, and it’s that - it’s Jensen - that’s been making him so miserable lately.
Because even in the midst of a pretty surprising revelation, that’s what strikes Jensen the most. Jared’s been moping around for weeks now, and it’s because of Jensen. He suddenly feels a lot nicer toward Mike, but at the same time that makes Jensen the jerk. Hurting Jared is the absolute last thing Jensen ever meant to do. The guy is so damned nice that doing anything to upset him is like insulting a baby or kicking a puppy. Which is probably not the best comparison to be making right now, but whatever. Bad analogies aside, it’s not something Jensen wants to do. Ever.
Harley and Sadie seem to feel the same way. Jared’s not talking anymore, just slouched down on the couch, and Harley goes over and pushes his head under one of Jared’s hands, resting his head on Jared’s knee. Sadie huddles against his shins and whines low - “Sad. Jared sad.”
But then she looks over at where Jensen’s currently having a bit of a breakdown and says, “Needs Jensen.”
And that’s when Jensen realizes something. Because if there’s any particular insight he’s gained from the whole suddenly-a-dog experience, it’s that Jared’s dogs really love him. Jensen knew the dogs loved Jared, of course, if only because Jared loves them so much the feeling had to be at least mutual, but the dogs absolutely adore him. If that wasn’t clear from the way they’re completely focused on him or how in tune they are to his every mood, the point’s driven home by the way they refer to him.
They don’t actually have a name for Jared - it’s more a combination of things, surrounded by a huge, shining ball of love and devotion. Once Jensen got better at reading the nuances behind dog names, he simplified it down to just ‘Jared,’ for his sanity, but Sadie and Harley’s word for Jared is a lot more complicated - it’s kind of a mix of master and friend and pack member, combined with food-provider and protector. If Jensen had to translate, Jared’s title would be something like, “Beloved Giant Human Food-bringer Ball-thrower Warm Hands.”
And Jensen’s name is the same way - it’s a combination of details about his physical appearance and his relationship to Jared, because that’s the way the dogs identify everyone. But he hasn’t realized until now, until Sadie just said it, that the word they use for him isn’t strictly about him, or a variation of “Jared’s friend.” It’s closer to, well -
“Mate,” Sadie says again, looking at Jensen with big, sad eyes. “Jared needs mate.”
So, it turns out Jared’s dogs think he’s Jared’s boyfriend, or that they’re in love, or something.
Awkward.
Jensen’s not really sure what to think of that, or how he feels about it, but in a way, Sadie’s right. If Jensen was here in his human form and Jared was miserable, he’d be trying to help in any way he could. He can’t do very much as a dog, but at the very minimum, he can be there.
He trots over to the couch and jumps up to get his paws on Jared’s leg, barking sharply.
“What’s up, buddy?” Jared asks, leaning forward. Harley and Sadie both move aside to make room, so Jared bends and scoops Jensen up, setting him on his lap.
“Holy shit,” Mike says, when he looks over. “I thought that was just a stuffed animal. When’d you get another dog? ”
Jared laughs, stroking Jensen’s fur. “I found him yesterday, running around set. I’m keeping for the weekend - just until I can figure out who he belongs to.”
“He’s like a freaking Beanie Baby.” Mike reaches out a finger to poke at Jensen’s belly, yanking it back when Jensen nips at him. “A mean one. Jeez.”
“He’s not,” Jared says, as Jensen snuggles into him. “See? He likes me just fine.”
“So he’s mean and a bad judge of character,” Mike says, clucking his tongue. “Poor guy.”
But then a ref calls something (icing, maybe, or offsides? Jensen can’t remember if offsides happens in hockey, or if it’s only in soccer) and Mike goes nuts and curses the ref and his mother, and Jensen settles back in Jared’s lap to watch.
The Stars win, thank God (not that Jensen’s at much risk of cross-dressing as a dog, but Mike has a notoriously good memory for shit like that) and before he leaves, Tom makes one last attempt at reassuring Jared that Jensen’s not an asshole or easily offended by neck-rubbing. Jensen’s dozing off against Jared’s chest, so he doesn’t hear much, but he does wake up a little when Mike offers to help with flyers, if Jared wants to put them up near the studio. Jared’s arm tenses a little, pulling Jensen closer against him, but he just says, “Yeah, thanks. I’ll let you know.”
He goes straight to bed after that, not bothering with clean up beyond getting edibles out of reach of the dogs, but he doesn’t fall asleep right away. Jensen curls up into his sweatshirt-bed again, but despite being perfectly comfortable, he can’t sleep either. He thinks it might be a dog thing, the way he can hear Jared’s breathing better now or a little bit of misplaced watchdog blood.
But then Jared sits up in the dark and grabs his cell phone off the bedside table, pressing a speed-dial key, and says, “Jensen. Look, I…I don’t know what’s up with you, or if I did something, but please, call me. I…I’m worried about you, and I don’t know what to do. Call me. Please,” and Jensen knows it has nothing to do with being a dog at all.
When Jared hangs up, Jensen crawls out of his bed and whines softly until Jared’s head appears over the edge. He jumps a little, standing on his back legs like a damned meerkat, until Jared gets the idea and lifts him up. Then Jensen makes his way across the sheets to a cozy little hollow next to Jared’s neck and shoulder, close enough to feel his heartbeat, and curls up there.
And even though it’s still awhile before Jared’s breathing evens out and Jensen drifts off, he feels better.
* * *
Sunday mornings are much lazier than Saturdays at Jared’s house. He doesn’t get out of bed until the sun brightens the room too much to sleep, and even then, after he feeds the dogs and lets them out, he goes back to bed. This time, though, all three dogs are allowed up on the bed.
There’s not much room left with Harley and Sadie piled on, but that’s okay. Jensen perches on Jared’s chest, because that way Jared will pet him and Jensen can lick his neck all he likes. People taste a lot better as a dog, all salty and warm and good, and even though they taste amazing at certain times - like when they’re sweaty or when they’ve got flavored lotion on, like Jared’s neighbor - he’s discovered that Jared tastes good all the time. No wonder the dogs like him so much.
Plus, Jared seems to like it. He tips his chin up and laughs when Jensen’s tongue rasps across his stubble. Jensen’s just glad he seems to be in a better mood than last night.
But then Jared pulls back, cradling Jensen’s face in his hands, and just looks at him, something sad and almost wistful in expression. “I don’t want to give you up,” he says softly.
Jensen leans into the touch, not knowing what else to do.
“I don’t want to find out who you belong to,” Jared goes on, barely above a whisper. “I just want you to be mine.”
And it makes something ache in Jensen’s little dog chest, because Toby’s only temporary, but there’s only one thing he can say: “Yours.” Because he knows exactly who he belongs to.
Maybe he’s been stupid this whole time, in denial and thinking he and Jared were just really good friends, or maybe this is truly the first time the idea’s even occurred to him. He’s not sure. He just knows that from the second he found out that Jared wanted him, not their mutual friend he was so inexplicably jealous of, there hasn’t even been a question of what he’s going to do. It was a bit surprising, yeah, but maybe somewhere, deep down, he’s known all along. Either way, Jensen’s always loved Jared, platonic or more, and as soon as this dog thing gets taken care of, Jensen’s going to make it very clear to Jared that his interest is returned.
As luck would have it, that’s exactly when the curse wears off. Jensen’s not sure if it’s because it’s been roughly forty-eight hours since it happened or because of his decision, but either way he’s suddenly naked and sprawled all over Jared right in the middle of licking his hand.
Jared yelps and jerks at the sudden weight, then freezes at the sight of Jensen.
Jensen licks one of his fingers, just to satisfy his curiosity (it still tastes good - less flavorful, but good). “Hey,” he says.
“What the fuck?” Jared asks, eyes wide. “What the fuck is going on? What are you doing here?”
Jensen’s trying to think up a good way to explain when Jared lifts his head. Upon verifying that Jensen’s very naked and pressed up against him from chest to toe, he drops his head back down, looking a little dazed. “Oh. Am I dreaming?”
Jensen cocks his head. “Do I normally show up in your dreams naked?”
Jared blushes.
“Well, that’s…interesting,” Jensen says, trying to cover a smirk. “But no, Jared, this isn’t a dream.”
Jared frowns. “But if I’m not dreaming, then how the hell did you get here? And what happened to Toby?”
Jensen sighs. “Jared, there is no Toby. I was Toby.”
“You were a dog,” Jared says slowly.
“Yes.”
“No,” Jared says. “What? You weren’t a dog. That’s not possible.”
Jensen rolls his eyes. “How else do you explain me suddenly appearing and the dog suddenly disappearing?”
“I don’t know, a wormhole? Not you being a dog.”
“How is a wormhole more plausible than me being a dog?” Jensen demands. “That doesn’t make any sense.”
“I don’t know!” Jared yells. “None of this makes any sense! But you weren’t a dog! You weren’t my dog, because people don’t turn into dogs! Or vice versa.”
“Look, Jared, I can tell you every single thing you said or did this weekend, including your little What Not to Wear marathon. Know how? Because I was here. As a dog.”
Jared blinks. His mouth moves for a minute, no sound coming out, but he says faintly, “You…were a dog?”
And Jensen is more than thrilled to have gotten to this point, but instead of moving the acceptance process along, it sparks a long circular conversation where Jared keeps repeating “You. Were a dog,” varying the inflection every time Jensen says, “Yes.”
Finally, after Jared says, “You? Were a dog?” and Jensen says, “Yes,” Jared pauses and says, “Holy shit.”
Jensen almost says “Yes” back, automatically, but catches himself just in time.
Jared still seems doubtful and confused, but then he asks, “…why?” and Jensen is more than willing to consider that progress.
Jensen sighs again. “It’s a long story. Well, actually, it’s not. I pissed off Leon the snake guy, and apparently he does a little witchcraft on the side. This was his revenge.”
“Oh,” Jared says, still looking a bit dazed. “Dude, I liked him. So he was lying when he said you left?”
“Yep. That’s why I wasn’t answering your calls all weekend. My cell phone’s in my trailer.”
“Oh,” Jared says again, forehead wrinkling as he works it all out. “Right. Because you were here. As a dog.”
Then he realizes what he just said and looks horrified. “You’ve been here! All weekend! You’ve seen - you heard everything I - oh, God. Oh, God.” He winces and covers his face with both hands.
“Dude, relax.” Jensen takes the opportunity to shift his weight, sliding off to lie next to Jared on his side. Harley and Sadie lift their heads to sniff at him, but apparently his miraculous change back to human form isn’t as exciting to them. Jensen might normally be thinking about finding some clothes, but after two days as a dog, he’s enjoying having actual human-sized junk way too much to cover it up.
Jared, on the other hand, is headed for hyperventilation. He’s tense all over and breathing fast and his mouth is going with a constant repetition of “Ohgod, ohgod.”
“Hey. Jared, hey. Calm down, man.” Jensen tries to pry Jared’s hands away from his face, but Jared twitches away from him like he’s been scorched.
“Fine, okay,” Jensen says, keeping his voice low and soothing. “All right. Just let me tell you something, okay? What you said, about me avoiding you because I figured it all out? I wouldn’t have done that.” He reaches a hand out to touch Jared’s shoulder, and this time Jared lets him.
“I wouldn’t have freaked out and not answered your phone calls. I would never do something like that, okay? I’d never throw away our friendship over something like that.”
Jared takes a deep breath, then slides his fingers down to peek over at Jensen. “So what would you have done? If I had confessed?”
Jensen props himself up on an elbow. “Well, after I got over the shock, I probably would’ve tried to think of a nice way to let you down easy.”
Jared nods slowly, looking a little sick. “So is that - “
“But that was before,” Jensen interrupts. “Before I knew you watch old episodes of Smallville and fantasize about having your way with me, not Mike. Before I knew that Chad and Mike and Tom all know, and that they’re all rooting for us, like some weird little fan club.” He pauses, thinking about how good it felt to be on top of Jared minutes before. “Before I knew that I wasn’t exactly averse to the idea.”
“Jensen,” Jared says, slow and cautious. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I feel the same way, idiot,” Jensen tells him. “Are you going to kiss me, or do I have to do everything?”
Jared still looks a little shocked and confused, but he reaches out for Jensen after a second, stroking his jaw with a finger. He doesn’t move any closer, though, just that small touch and his eyes tracing Jensen’s face for a long minute. But just when Jensen thinks he might have to make the first move after all (well, if landing naked on Jared and confessing his feelings doesn’t count, which it totally should), Jared’s eyes dip to Jensen’s mouth, and he licks his lips before leaning in slow.
It’s gentle at first, just small, soft kisses, but when Jensen slides a hand around Jared’s neck and makes it clear he’s not going anywhere, Jared makes a little noise and presses closer, swiping his tongue over Jensen’s bottom lip and finally dipping inside. But just when things are getting good, Jared abruptly pulls back.
“What?” Jensen asks, bewildered.
Jared shakes his head, looking like he’s torn between laughter and hysteria. “You - oh, God, Jensen. You taste like dog food.”
Well. Jensen’s never heard that one before (which, come to think of it, is probably a good thing), but he’s still a little unclear on why that’s stopping the making out. “So what? You ate some already.”
Jared makes a strangled noise that’s a cross between a laugh and a groan. “Yeah, but that’s not - seriously, Jensen, you have to brush your teeth.”
Jensen rolls his eyes, but climbs over Jared and heads for the bathroom. The hilarity of the situation hits him about halfway there, and he has to lean against the doorframe while he completely cracks up.
Jared covers his eyes with his hands again, moaning “Oh, God,” but he’s laughing too.
Sadie and Harley get all worked up, then, puzzled by the sudden laughter, and Jensen’s more than relieved to realize that while he can easily guess what their questioning barks mean, they’re just noise again, not words in any language he knows.
But that reminds him just how aware the dogs are, so when he finishes brushing his teeth (with Jared’s toothbrush, of course, serves the picky bastard right) and swishing a little mouthwash, the first thing he does is shoo the dogs off the bed and out of the room. Because if Jensen’s about to get lucky (and he’s pretty sure he is) the last thing he needs is Jared’s dogs watching it happen.
But when he turns back to the bed, Jared’s looking kind of weird and lying all funny and stiff, like he might get up and run at any moment. When he sees Jensen looking at him, he makes a face. “I just - are you sure?” he asks hesitantly. “Are we really going to - ?”
And Jensen would love to have a nice, long, detailed conversation about how exactly he came to the realization that he wants to get busy with Jared - they could hold each other and share their feelings and listen to that radio station that only plays love songs and make sappy declarations around meaningful kisses - but right now, he’s really more interested in getting laid.
Besides, as he discovered earlier, all the romance and flirting in the world can still be misconstrued, and honest and to-the-point works a lot faster. So he just climbs on top of Jared and says, “Hey, Jared. I’ve been fantasizing about you since yesterday, and if I don’t throw you down and have my way with you soon, I think I might die of sexual tension. You want to?”
Jared’s eyes go wide for a second, a blush spreading across his cheeks, but then he’s laughing and smiling wide and pulling Jensen down for more kissing, which is way better than any conversation. Because now that they’ve got the dog food breath thing taken care of, along with any remaining doubts, Jared’s a lot more enthusiastic.
And not just with the kissing. His hands roam over Jensen’s arms and back before settling on Jensen’s hips, and when Jared lifts up into him, fitting them together just right, it’s so good that Jensen’s brain nearly melts. Now that they’re actually doing this, he can’t believe that they waited so goddamned long. If he knew that he could have Jared spread out under him like this, flushed and hot and moaning into his mouth and arching up, he’d have - well, Jensen would have figured things out a lot sooner, that’s for sure.
But while grinding into Jared’s hip while they make out like teenagers is pretty awesome, there’s still the matter of Jared’s boxers, which are currently one layer too many between them. And since Jensen has to stop kissing Jared anyway, while he’s working them off, he decides that there’s really no point to keeping his mouth minty fresh. Clean mouths are overrated, anyway.
So he licks across Jared’s abs and down the slide of his hip, dragging his tongue over damp skin that tastes just as good as a human, if a bit less strong, until he’s got Jared’s cock in front of him.
It’s been a while since he’s done this, but Jensen figures it’s like riding a bike. You know, if riding a bike was in any way similar to sucking cock. Anyway, it’s not something you forget. And if the noises Jared’s making as he licks cautiously around the head are any indication, then Jensen’s not that rusty.
So he braces himself and goes at it in earnest, slipping his mouth down over Jared’s cock and sucking hard, but Jared’s hands, which have been fisted in the sheets, are suddenly on his shoulders, and not in the good, give me more way. Jared’s urging him up and off, and Jensen’s totally confused about what the fuck is going on, but then Jared says, “Wait, Jen, I want to - “ and he’s pulling at Jensen, turning him around until his knees are on either side of Jared’s head, and oh. Oh, God. Jared’s licking along the underside of his cock, and it’s so good that Jensen doesn’t have words to describe it.
It’s a little awkward at first, because neither of them was exactly planning on sex happening in the first place, and now, like this, it’s almost too hot to work. Because Jensen’ll be in the middle of swallowing Jared down, trying to focus on what his mouth is doing, when Jared suddenly decides to lick his balls, and the bone-melting rush of arousal has Jensen moaning around his mouthful, too distracted to remember what he was doing. Or Jensen’ll curl his tongue just right and Jared will groan and let his head fall back, letting Jensen’s cock slip out to slide down his cheek, and yeah.
It’s sloppy and messy and more than a little rushed, but it’s also amazing and mind-blowing and insanely hot. Because Jensen’s got his mouth on Jared’s cock, which he’s only been thinking about all weekend since the shower incident, and that’s Jared’s mouth on him, returning the favor. And Jared’s hands are holding his thighs, keeping him steady and spread apart, and when he licks down to the base of Jensen’s cock Jensen realizes that it’s Jared’s nose pressing up against his balls, and Jesus.
He nearly chokes when he comes, it’s so sudden and spine melting, but Jared’s not far behind, coming apart from the vibrations of Jensen moaning around him.
Jensen manages to roll off to the side before he collapses, panting and wiping his mouth. “Holy shit,” Jared says, from somewhere near Jensen’s hip, voice raspy.
“Yeah,” is all Jensen can say.
* * *
A few minutes later, when Jensen’s regained some feeling in his limbs, he shifts around to lie next to Jared. Jared turns his head to look at him, all sweaty and flushed and gorgeous, and Jensen moves closer without thinking, wanting Jared’s mouth on his. But at the last second he pauses. “You gonna make me brush my teeth again?”
Jared just rolls his eyes and drags him into a kiss. It’s slow and lazy, both of them too fucked out to put much effort into it, but it feels so good, so perfect and right that it’s a little scary.
“So,” Jensen says, pulling back a little and clearing his throat. “Three years? Really?”
Jared shrugs. “From the day I met you.” He slants a look at Jensen, then fixes his gaze on the ceiling. “So. One day?”
Jensen’s a little thrown by Jared’s casual admission, so it takes him longer than he should have to catch the edge in Jared’s question. “Wait, what?”
“That’s what you said. You’d been fantasizing about me since yesterday.”
“Well, yeah,” Jensen admits. “I only figured it out yesterday. But that doesn’t mean I’ve spent this whole time having purely platonic thoughts about you. I just never really realized how I felt.”
Jared’s quiet for a minute, but he finally meets Jensen’s eyes. “So you were in denial or something?”
“Not really. I just thought that it was normal. You know, that everyone was so close to their best friend.”
“Jensen. You give me backrubs all the time. I hump you in public, and you like it. That’s pretty gay.”
Jensen makes a face. “I know that now. But you acted like it was all normal, so I just…went with it. I’m sorry, okay? Can we just be glad for the whole dog thing speeding up my epiphany and let it go?” He pokes Jared. “Especially because you weren’t ever going to tell me yourself.”
“I totally would have,” Jared argues. “…in my own time.”
“Right,” Jensen says. “Like, after another three years. Instead, I got to picture you lusting after Mike.”
Jared blinks. “Mike? What?”
“Never mind,” Jensen says hastily. Better to just avoid that altogether. “Anyway. It’s a good thing Mike let it slip. Well, him and Tom and Chad.”
“Yeah, sorry about that,” Jared says sheepishly. “I planned to break it to you a little easier. You know, a little more gradually than Chad announcing I wanted to fuck you.”
Jensen shrugs. “Chad’s plan wasn’t exactly tasteful, but it got the job done.”
“And thank God,” Jared says, mouth quirking. “Who’d have thought you turning into a tiny little dog would lead to all this?” He turns onto his side, facing Jensen, and pulls him in closer with a hand on his hip. And apparently Jensen’s not the only one who’s developed a new appreciation for the taste of skin, because Jared’s next move is licking a trail down Jensen’s neck. He pauses for a second near Jensen’s collarbone, warm breath across damp skin, and Jensen squirms a little in anticipation. But then Jared tilts his head thoughtfully and says, “What was it like?” and Jensen has to think hard for a minute to remember what they’re talking about.
Oh, right. Being a dog. He shrugs. “I don’t know. Weird. Cool. Crazy. It’s a whole different world when you’re tiny and helpless and you’ve only got Sadie and Harley to talk to.”
“Yeah, I bet,” Jared says, stroking a hand down the center of Jensen’s chest. Then: “Wait, Sadie and Harley can talk? I knew they were smart! Dude, what did they say? Did they say anything about me? Do they know what I’m saying when I talk to them? Do they understand when I -“
“Jared.” Jensen looks pointedly down at himself, at Jared’s leg slung over his and the hand resting on his stomach, both forgotten right when things were getting interesting. “Can we talk about this later?”
Jared blinks. “Oh. Yeah, okay.”
But just when things are heating up again, Jared sliding over until he’s half on top of Jensen and sucking on his tongue in a way that’s got Jensen very invested in round two, he pulls back with a frown.
“I really liked Toby, though. I’m sad that he’s gone.”
Jensen stares, then smacks his shoulder. “Hey. You’ve got me now. Show a little gratitude.”
Jared grins. “Well, you’re not as cute and cuddly. But I suppose you are a little more fun.”
“A little?” Jensen arches up into Jared, sliding his hand down to give his ass a firm grope.
“Mm, okay,” Jared gasps. “Okay, a lot.”
“That’s more like it.”
There’s not much talking after that.
* * *
They do talk about things a little more later, especially when Jensen comes to the horrifying realization that Chad being right about him being into guys means Chad’s gaydar actually works, which means Mike and Tom might actually be gay for each other.
And then he tells Jared, and Jared gives him a pitying look and says, “Jensen, everyone knows Mike and Tom are gay for each other,” and Jensen has to sit down for a minute, because it’s like his whole world has been turned upside down in one weekend. Jared’s had a crush on him for three years, Mike and Tom are undercover lovers, Chad has insight…it’s a lot to take in at once.
And they don’t really talk about the fact that “crush” isn’t really the right word for what Jared’s been harboring for Jensen - Jared never really comes out and says it, but it’s kind of obvious anyway - but that’s okay. The fact that Jared’s house has always felt a lot like home, along with the realization that lazy Sunday morning sex with Jared seemed exactly like the kind of thing Jensen could get used to - like, say, maybe for the rest of his life? - has kind of alerted him to the fact that it’s not exactly a crush on his end, either.
But since there’s really no good way to say, “Hey, I’m totally not fucking you out of boredom or horniness,” and it’s probably a little too soon for sappy declarations, Jensen tries to make it clear in other ways. Like the way he makes actual food for dinner - nothing fancy, just pasta with sauce from a jar, but it’s not takeout or reheated - or the way he faithfully repeats every syllable Sadie or Harley ever uttered, even when it means admitting the whole part where they thought he was a cat and suffering Jared’s unending amusement over the “mate” thing.
Or even the way he spends the night wrapped around Jared, wearing a pair of borrowed sweats that don’t fit, because when Jared offered to drive him back to his apartment so he could, “you know, wear your own clothes or sleep in your own bed or just have five seconds of the weekend where you’re not stuck with me,” there was an edge of uncertainty under his joking. It means getting up painfully early tomorrow to swing by his apartment before work, but whatever. Jensen can deal with it. Especially when it puts that giant, goofy grin on Jared’s face.
So, yeah. It’s nothing that needs talking about.
Well, at least until Monday, because that’s when Jared’s phone rings. They’re in Jensen’s trailer, making out on the too-small couch, and Jared has to squirm around to get it out of his pocket left-handed, since his right is currently jammed down Jensen’s jeans.
And when he answers, he says, “Chad. Hey,” and Jensen mouths hang up, because seriously. Chad might be somewhat responsible for this new thing between him and Jared, but there’s no way Jensen’s letting Chad fucking Michael Murray cockblock him.
“Right,” Jared says. “I’m a little busy now, though, so can I- ” But then he pauses, and a stupid smile spreads across his face. “Well, I don’t know. Here, let me ask him. Jensen, does Chad need to tell you I want to fuck you blind?”
Jensen groans, letting his head fall back against the couch arm, and moves his hips into Jared’s maddeningly still hand. “Think I got it.”
“He says he’s aware.” But instead of hanging up and finishing what he started, Jared starts to laugh. “Exactly how aware? I don’t know. Here, you ask him.”
“Jared,” Jensen hisses, but then the phone’s smushed up against his face and Chad’s voice in his ear saying, “Jensen? What the hell’s - “
And Jensen does not have the patience for this shit right now. “Chad, if you don’t hang up in two seconds, you’re going to get an earful of us going at it. Is that aware enough for you?”
There’s a short pause, and then: “Fucking Jared,” Chad mutters. “This is the last time I help with his gay crises.”
Jensen’s actually hoping this will be the last of those, but before he can say so, Jared takes back the phone. “Thanks, man!” he chirps, grinning gleefully at the reply he gets. “Aww, I love you, too, bitch.”
Jensen clears his throat pointedly, and Jared says, “Uh, gotta go.” He closes the phone and throws it somewhere over his shoulder. “Chad says he’s very happy for us.”
“Great,” Jensen mutters. “I’ll buy him some beer and porn later to thank him. Now can we please get back to what we were doing?”
Jared grins, squeezing his hand. “You mean me wanting to fuck you blind?”
“Yeah,” Jensen says firmly. “That.”
* * *
Half an hour later, when they finally stumble out of Jensen’s trailer with goofy smiles and rumpled clothes, Jensen has a sudden thought. Chad spilled the beans on Jared’s mancrush, but he shouldn’t get all the credit for their relationship. There’s someone else who deserves a slice of the pie.
Jensen finds him hanging out with the props people and gets his attention with a sturdy clap on the back. “Hey, Leon!”
Leon jumps a little, but when he sees who it is, his face slides into a smug smile. “Jensen,” he says smarmily. “How was your weekend?”
Jensen pauses for full effect, like he’s reliving the trauma, then busts out the sunniest smile he’s got. “It was fantastic, actually. Really amazing. Thanks for asking, man.”
Leon looks like he can’t decide whether to be confused or disappointed. And sort of like he’s swallowed a lemon. It’s not a good look on him.
“Well, I’ll catch you later,” Jensen says brightly. “And say hi to the snakes for me!”
He can almost feel Leon’s glower as he walks away, but it’s totally worth it.
* * *
END
* * *
A/N: First: Just for the record, I pictured Jensen as this kind of dog while writing this, but you could pretty much pick any of the wonderful pictures posted in the comments here if you wanted, because they are all ADORABLE.
Second: <3 times a million to
indysaur and
twofourteen for extremely awesome beta help!
And third: Okay. I'm not even sure how to properly assign credit for this fic. It started out as just a random cracky idea, and it probably would have stayed that way, if it wasn't for all the people on my flist who enabled and encouraged and filled out random polls and suggested dog names. I shamelessly stole wonderful ideas from all over both posts, and this fic would not be what it is without them. So to all of you - thank you so much! ♥