relationships: Topaz, Kylei, Heather, Hannah, Allison, Sande, Roger, Cass, Rocky, Arizona, Tinder

[belenen]

icon: "exuviate (photo of a dragonfly with shimmery green wings after its last metamorphosis, standing next to its previous exoskeleton)"So I have a goal of examining all of my connections every 2-3 months, to help me stay aware and keep from getting into any ruts. I'm a bit late but I think that's because March was muddy for me with literally

Comments

[re_vised]

I like this reflecting and analyzing on your friendships.

[belenen]

I'm glad!

[zimtkeks]

I've been on the receiving end of this "whatever you like" habit. It can really feel like indifference towards what you do with someone, and it can also be dishonest (if you actually do have a preference). Plus, it means that the other person has to make all the decisions. I remember that while the other person wanted to accommodate me as much as possible, it was stressful for me at times. And I really want to be able to trust the other person that they are taking care of their own needs and will voice them when necessary

[belenen]

I really want to be able to trust the other person that they are taking care of their own needs and will voice them when necessary.

me too!

Is the OKC algorhythm really racist? Or are there more white people matching your criteria on it?

Either it is racist in the algorithm or most of the people who use OKC are white, which would also indicate a system-level racism. Of course, I am using 'racist' in the sociological meaning of the term, not the common use as a reference to racial prejudice.

[webgirluk]

You remind me so much of myself the way you reflect on and analyse your friendships. I too feel moved by the joyful moments you described like someone offering to bring food on Twitter or someone doing something to show they see and understand us.

I love it when people teach me something new about myself and the way people work as well. I also love a curious nature and interest in world sharing/learning everything about each other and their connections, too.

It's interesting how we can imagine what people enjoy our friendship for but in reality, they may place value on something completely different we don't necessarily notice in ourselves. I've posted on this in the past in years gone by.

[belenen]

It's interesting how we can imagine what people enjoy our friendship for but in reality, they may place value on something completely different we don't necessarily notice in ourselves

I know! I wish I could observe myself though other people sometimes.