Comments | belenen: violet-spirit connection w Hannah and Nick / day of immense joy as a triad / brokenhearted breakup

belenen

violet-spirit connection w Hannah and Nick / day of immense joy as a triad / brokenhearted breakup

Jul 07, 2008 07:27

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b - ex-partner, hannah, pain, relationships, hannah -- visiting 2008 (away), openness, aurilion, nick, the essential belenen collection, sensuality, spirit connections, recovery / therapy / healing, polyamory / relationship anarchy, spirit

Comments 30

mermaiden July 7 2008, 12:16:53 UTC

My heart cried out for you, reading this, hon... I am so, so sorry you have felt so much pain.

belenen July 24 2008, 00:29:56 UTC

thank you ♥

flyingshaman July 7 2008, 13:03:31 UTC

*hugs you, deeply*

I felt this, all of this. It reached -deep-

"I love you" doesn't even feel adequate, but.. I love you.

belenen July 24 2008, 00:30:18 UTC

thank you so much love ♥

jenniology July 7 2008, 13:19:41 UTC

I'm so sorry to hear about your pain - my heart just aches. :(

On the other hand, what little time you had in your triad sounds... mind-blowing. I wish I could experience something like that in my life-time.

belenen July 24 2008, 00:31:04 UTC

thank you, and yes ♥ I hope to experience a triad of like spirits again someday ♥

celestialsight July 7 2008, 14:00:38 UTC

*Hugs* I have experienced all of the joy and all of the pain that you describe, and my heart goes out to you and your pain... I thought about you those last few days and worried that something was wrong, I almost left a comment in your journal. I'm sorry you are hurting but also, what a learning experience. *More hugs*

belenen July 24 2008, 00:31:41 UTC

aww, thank you so much ♥ and yes indeed, much learning!

musicandmisery July 7 2008, 15:03:51 UTC

I don't think I've ever found a love such as this, but I have been DEEPLY and UTTERLY in love twice -- both times ending with me being tortuously depressed for years. Both times with me being the most wounded party.

My heart completely broke reading this but I am so inspired by your ability to learn from it and live after it.

"my hope is not a logical one. It is based on my feelings, which I am choosing to trust in. If it never happens, at least I will have spent my days in hope rather than despair."

I can't even begin to tell you how eye-opening that statement is to me. I am constantly self-hating and angry and depressed because all I do is hope and nothing comes of that hope. My heart is always hurt from the unattainable and my soul is always crushed by my unending sense of doom. Those words, though... I don't know. It's a completely new way of looking at my agonizing but unbridled optimism. Thank you. So much.

♥

belenen July 24 2008, 00:35:33 UTC

ohhh wow ♥ I am glad it opened your eyes -- it was quite a new turn for me too! I'm used to hating myself for being 'stupid' enough to hope and love freely and be crushed as a result, but I think I finally believe that the joy is worth the pain. It really is... and I am lucky enough to have experienced several dreadful breakups that led to beautiful things later, so I can look back now and say, if it is that beautiful, it cannot die.

*hugs you tightly*