Nemi-fic, angsty sadness on the Ease of loving someone

[nemi_chan]

Title: Ease

Author: Nemi
Disclaimer: I play around with plot bunnies and occasionally ideas for transformer toys, that's pretty much it insofar as this is concerned
Rating: PG, for mentioning that humans use biology with vague reference to reproduction/attraction, possible hint of a wish for a threesome
Warnings: Angsty, sad
Status: done July 31,

Comments

[nemi_chan]

That was the point, I'm glad it came across the way I wanted.

This fic idea was seeded a few weeks ago, I think. It was on fanficrants, someone was complaining about badslash mentioned our pairingin passing (not in a ranty way). She (because most people involved with fic seem to be female) said it was an intruiging (and cute I think) pairing, but most fics don't address that Sam has millions of years of biology compelling him to...screw Mikaela and then the cultural taboos and indoctrination he'd be going against

[nemi_chan]

I find they mostly rant about badfic. I get a bit irritated with some of them. There was one, a FF7 lifestream vs promised land rant and I was "...whut

[mardigrasmaven]

I loved it! And I loved how you showed the differences Bee sees and how it keeps them apart... yet for Bee, just the small instances are enough for him... and it gives him peace.

So well written!

[nemi_chan]

Thank you so much! I'm really out of practice with fic writing, I having updated my FFN account in such a long time that I'm afraid to now, so I just don't update.

Bee sees things diffrently than Sam, than really any organic or mortal being. And yet they both have souls, are both sentient. They are friends with each other despite all the diffrences there is more in common because the flesh and metal in finite, the soul and spark are not.

Cybertronians/Autobots and humans have to have a commonality of thought and perception. But there are so many diffrences and that's where the fun comes from.

But...the really sad thing is that that it doesn't give Bee peace. It doesn't. It's like that romantic trope of if you really love them letting them be happy with someone else.

And Bee would be happy if Sam was happy, it would be enough. But he doesn't think like that, he's hoping too much.

In those cherished moments Bee is half content to be with Sam, and half pretending that he is loved back as he needs. That eases the pain.

[nemi_chan]

Not the boys in this fic. It was Bee all the way. Thank you!

[travelistaa]

Oooh yeah I thought it was Sam thinking til the end! Good work!

[nemi_chan]

*Insert your choice of Celebratory "Score!" Gesture of Being Extreamly Pleased And Happy here. Confetti and sillystrig optional*

Yes! Exactly what I wanted! Thank you so much!

[bionic]

aww... oh the angst! lovely.

[nemi_chan]

I dislike angst like this, with no happy ending. I hated Dierdre's Theif. It was very well written, I guessed what it was about from the title, but I read it anyways and I was so upset afterwards. This is the same kind, only not a deathfic and not as heavy on the angst, which is the only reason why I could stand to write it.

I hate sad endings/stories. I read as an escape, so I don't want to be depressed by what I read unless there's a light at the end of the the tunnel.

I didn't want to have a corny "I love you too" ending.

...

... ... ...

Though now that I think about it I could have really wrung more out with Sam saying "I love you, Bee" and hugging his hood and Bee just aching inside because he knows Sam isn't saying it the way he needs and wants. Knife twist.