BSG Fic - Reparation, 4/?

[becisvolatile]

Title: Reparation
Author: becisvolatile
Part: 4/?
Rating: NC-17
Pairings/Characters: Lee/Kara, Bill, Roslin, Helo, Sharon, Cottle, Anders, Dee.
Word Count: 3076
Category: Novella
Genre: Romance, Angst, Action with Romance, PWP, Drama
Archiving: The Fallout Shelter, Apollo/Starbuck Fan Fic, Beyond Insane all others please ask
Warnings: Language, violence,

Comments

[takethisstep]

"But that was Lee’s problem. Because even if she was less than Kara, she was enough. Even her ghost was better than the void. That void that sucked at something deep in his chest and made him ache in ways he’d never imagined possible. Which is why he was no longer swinging, but tearing her flight suit down her body, more than just half out of his mind."

That paragraph? Brought me to my knees. I love every bit of this story. To the point that I'm having a hard time separating this story from my predictions of what's going to happen in the fourth season. All of a sudden I'm wondering if I'm ready for the angst that that season premiere will bring and yet I have a feeling that nothing will keep me away from it. Rather Lee-like, I guess.

I can't wait to read more. Finding a new story from you on the flist always makes my day.

Thanks!

[cherylad]

Well... alrighty then

[becisvolatile]

he was doing it in such a way that SHE still has to be the one to walk way ...

I hadn’t considered that, but you’re right. It’s something I hadn’t thought about but now it makes me look at some of the later passages in a new light.

His head wants to care - but his heart doesn't.

But hasn’t it ALWAYS been like that? Lee has known all along that Kara is just trouble with a swagger, but that’s never stopped him. His heart, even his body is very clear on where he stands with Kara… but his head is more than happy to throw down angsty-regret and doubts.

This was a gratuity. And a huge one.Yeah, and I think as latte pointed out, Kara’s big on the forgiving. She’ll take anything from him, and forgive him… but forgiving and wiping the slate clean are two different things and I think that’s going to come out. Kara can forgive, but she’s not forgetting and these things are going to amount to a huge weight for her

[becisvolatile]

All of a sudden I'm wondering if I'm ready for the angst that that season premiere will bring...

Ditto. There's this sort of ache... first because it seems so far away and second, because I'm not sure I ever want to see.

Thanks for keeping up with this!

[latteaddict]

Dear god....you just broke the pilots...

I was actually holding up pretty well until the final section. And then the full force of what had just happened struck with massive force. With that one act Kara declared the scales were finally balanced between them, and by saying so, she just admitted to Lee that the way he felt betrayed after NC is exactly how betrayed she feels now *sobs* Though, I can't help but compare the levels of malicious intent in both set of circumstances. Lee's only out is the fact he's convinced she's not Kara. But still, it's obvious Lee would never do this to anyone else, Cylon or not, so it's only the fact that she is Kara that made him react this way. So where does fault and intent lie?

Lee’s mind swam with illicit fantasies of the replica underneath his fingertips. A life where this not-quite-Kara said all the words he’d wanted to hear from the real woman. Where she did what he wanted. Where she was his. He could have that. Hell, wasn’t that what he was doing at that very second?This passage shows so

Part 1... Yes, there are parts to this.

[becisvolatile]

Dear god....you just broke the pilots...

Oh, wait a second, I just got a call from the pot... wants to talk to you.

Lee's only out is the fact he's convinced she's not Kara. But still, it's obvious Lee would never do this to anyone else, Cylon or not, so it's only the fact that she is Kara that made him react this way. So where does fault and intent lie? It took me forever to try and work out what you were saying here, still not sure I got it... but here goes... I think it's safe to say that Kara alone moves him to extremes. So in terms of fault? A lifetime of being that thing he can't have/won't have/can't fathom is catching up with him. I would call it 'fault' but I'm saying Kara's actions over their relationship is setting up a basis for Lee thinking this is in any way appropriate, even if he does soon see the error in his decision. If he didn't *get* her when he figured her as human, he's got to be even further out of his depth now. I really think Lee's actions are pure confusion. That grief he never had, everything that he

Re: Part 1... Yes, there are parts to this.

[latteaddict]

Oh, wait a second, I just got a call from the pot... wants to talk to you.

*ha ha very funny*

It took me forever to try and work out what you were saying here, still not sure I got it.I was so eager to tell you how this chapter made me feel that I was tripping over my words and not expressing myself clearly

Re: Part 1... Yes, there are parts to this.

[becisvolatile]

My brain just exploded. I was trying to picture someone tripping over their own snot!

Lee being a serial contrarian? OMG yes.

And if there's anything Kara isn't it's contrary. I mean, she's a staunch bitch. But never just because she needs to be on the other side. She goes where conscience tells her and that almost never changes.

[boom_queen]

Angst goddess indeed. No time for full feedback before work, but this is an amazingly powerful and hard chapter.

But his name, oh, his name was right where it belonged. On the tip of her tongue.

Damn. Such ache and betrayal and self-loathing, on both sides.

[becisvolatile]

Thanks for the comment!

[arielmoondance]

*guh*

I was on the edge of my seat with this chapter and then reading latteaddict's comments sent me off the deep end into a puddle of tears.

"This is the part that truly makes me scared. Kara's a notorious forgiver. The flashbacks to her mother in Maelstrom and how she still reached out to comfort her mother after reading the diagnosis (and was horribly rebuffed), is concrete proof in an extreme circumstance about how Kara forgives. Not to mention the many, many smaller forgiveness’ she's displayed throughout the seasons to various people. But what she says to Lee here sounds so final. Usually Kara has plenty of guilt and I think that fuels a good chunk of her need to forgive, because she also yearns for forgiveness herself. But by stating to Lee that their slate is clean and then throwing down these words. Just makes this situation something completely new. I'm really excited to see how you handle it."

*guh*ouch*

[becisvolatile]

I know, reading her comment really got me all worried about them... and I know how it ends!

[spinkkitty]

he schooled his face into a perfect show of disgust and threw the tank at her back.

“Clean yourself up,” he said before turning to leave.

like WHOA with the harsh dude

as u can see i have been angsted into keanu speak

but i agree with jcathm up there re the bit below - such painful poetry

Hated that even now, this was all it took to make her forget everything. Her destiny, her body, her mind. Her name.

But his name, oh, his name was right where it belonged. On the tip of her tongue.

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[becisvolatile]

like WHOA with the harsh dude

Uhm... yeah. My bad.

as u can see i have been angsted into keanu speak

Which is possibly the coolest thing ever.