(Untitled)

[be_on_your]

stupid fucking- he had no right to complain about that haircut, no right, it was fine, who cares if I cut him a little? It's his own fault for wanting his hair cut like that assclown Corrida, I should've taken his whole scalp off while I was at it. Bastard.

Whatever. Not like it matters, right? Only one thing that matters here anymore- well, two

Comments

[if_she_hollers]

Like Matt like Matt like Matt like Matt like Matt

Guess what.

Guess guess guess like guess.

[be_on_your]

What is it, my dear Beverly Hills bitch?

[if_she_hollers]

Like. It's been ten years since we did the hanky panky. Isn't that totally special and cool? And like. Remember what you said then? Like guess what? I think.

I.

Don't.

Care.

Anymore.

Hey Matt hey Matt hey Matt hey Matt hey Matt

Guess what else

[be_on_your]

Glad to hear you're over it, babe. [yawn] What's up?

[if_she_hollers]

Oh no. I still hate you. I just don't care about those stpuid threats you made.

~ That's why I'm outside your room ~

[be_on_your]

...Really.

[Matt immediately goes for the knife under his pillow.]

Do tell.

[if_she_hollers]

Like, yeah! I've like totally been thinking and like, I've decided that everything that went wrong in the last ten years of my life was all because of you.

[Crack! Matt's bedroom door begins to splinter.]

So like. The problem can be solved pretty easy.

[Smash!]

Then I won't ever be unhappy again.

hey would it be cool if Matt sics the house on her at some point

[be_on_your]

Genius conclusion there, babe.

[Matt levels the knife at her with one hand, while breaking his bottle of cognac on the endtable with the other.]

But I don't think it's gonna be that easy.

Like, totally

[if_she_hollers]

Like, I know! I won't even have to worry about this whole 'people finding stuff out' deal anymore. It would be so much easier. If there was no one to tell them.

Or.

Even better.

If there was no one to find out at all.

But like. I think I should go one. at. a. time. Starting with -- ding ding ding! Matthew Engarde! He's struck gold again. Dig dig dig for that sweet satisfaction. Don't worry; I'll pierce deep and true -- much better than you did, anyway. But the blade won't penetrate nearly as well if it's not sharp. Should I test its strength?

Eenie. Meenie. Miney. Moe!

[At the last word, a cleaver buries itself a good inch or two into the wall behind Matt. Mimi has apparently been working hard during the last decade.]

Time to catch the tiger. He didn't actually let the mouse go. He ate it. I think I will, too. Cognac doesn't go with cheese anyway, that's wine.

[She lunges forward with her knife in hand.]

[be_on_your]

You should know: I don't get my own hands dirty.

But I can make an exception.

[Matt slashes at her face with the bottle as she lunges toward him, stabbing his knife at her side at the same time.]

[if_she_hollers]

[Mimi shifts to the side as her blade sails by harmlessly, Matt's knife tearing open her sweater as she moves. The shards of glass, however, slash across her face with no attempt at deflection. She barely flinches.]

An exception?! Oh, Matty! I knew you were the one for me. We were just meant to be. Don't you see? We'll be together. Forever. Just you and me.

[Mimi throws the knife she currently holds straight at Matt while reaching to the side and plucking her cleaver out of the wall. Her other hand reaches down to grasp another piece of glass, her fingers being sliced open in the process]

[be_on_your]

[The knife catches Matt in the shoulder and he curses, kicking her away.]

Hey, house! Do your thing!

[builtdynetough]

I'm considering it. Frankly, I thought your attempt at the kitchen was a little lackluster.

[be_on_your]

I'll do better next time, damn it! But if you don't get rid of her now, the deal's off!

[builtdynetough]

Castle Heterodyne does NOT respond well to intimidation. Do you think you're actually competent enough that I value your assistance over that of any other unstable lunatic?

[be_on_your]

DO IT OR I'LL BURN YOU TO THE GROUND. Can buildings respawn? I don't know. Do you!?