Fic: Hallelujah, Act III/III

[bauble]

Hallelujah

Act III
Master post of all chapters and art here.

When Michael left his body, he apparently left Dean in a coma for

Comments

[qthelights]

I really like this. It's incredibly melancholy and Dean's life is just depressing and somewhat painful to read.

I love that he finally finds the guts to ask Cas to stay. That he sees he needs to find his peace too. I also love the way in which he starts coming out of the depression, starts realising there is more (quite literally) to see. Lovely imagery with the museum.

I am also very relieved that Cas takes his hand. That he stays. Because of course he will. If Dean asks. If he starts to help himself.

Very beautiful. Sad but hopeful.

[bauble]

I love that he finally finds the guts to ask Cas to stay. That he sees he needs to find his peace too.

Yes, exactly. It's frustrating that Sam is off finding his peace on his own and seemingly at Dean's expense--but the truth is that this is the right thing for Sam to do, and Sam needs to take care of himself (fix himself) before he can possibly hope to be in a more functional relationship with Dean. And Dean, who had been looking to Sam for his happiness, his meaning, his peace--is forced to finally confront the fact that he needs to work for it and find it for himself. It's painful to go it alone, but it's also necessary, and right.

I also love the way in which he starts coming out of the depression, starts realising there is more (quite literally) to see. Lovely imagery with the museum.

Ah, thank you so much! I love the Met and art, and was happy for the chance to use it in my writing :)

I am also very relieved that Cas takes his hand. That he stays. Because of course he will. If Dean asks. If he starts to help himself.

[gladdecease]

So, as this was (a) written by you, and (b) for apocabigbang, I was expecting heartbreak, and I definitely got that. Sam and Dean trying to deal with what they did and what was done to them was sad enough as it was, but I always feel worse for the brothers when they're doing things on their own. Knowing abstractly that Sam's mentor is probably right - that it's healthier, better for them to be apart - doesn't make it any less painful to watch them try to do it. That the story was from Dean's perspective, and he deals more poorly with separation than Sam (though not by much), made the hurt of it much more present

[bauble]

There was a lot of hurt to feel in reading this, especially related to Dean losing his purpose... Dean's mindless wandering feels as much spiritual as it is physical; every place he visits leaves him feeling no better for it, still empty and hurting.

Yes, precisely. In a way, Dean is going through a profound existential crisis throughout the story and questioning: if this is not who I am anymore (a hunter, Sam's brother, protector, vessel, etc) then who am I? If I'm nobody, then why am I still alive when so many other people aren't? Why me, and why should that (seemingly fundamental) injustice continue? Deanville & all its inhabitants are, in a way, a reflection of Dean's own survivor's guilt--but at least they've found something/someone to (mis)place their faith in. Dean, knowing that he's no god or angel, doesn't even have that.

There's always a part of the world that's too separate from an event to understand or care, and in Supernatural it's the big cities that are distant from everything.Indeed. Distance (geographic,

[framedhim]

If anything, my sentiments couldn't be any better expressed as to what has already been commented. It's a need, in actuality, to shake off the melancholy in giving my thoughts here. First and foremost, I felt the story was paced quite nicely and written beautifully.

Reading this was, for me, a test in patience in viewing Dean's stubbornness and deep-seated issues. This is the first time I've really put any thought into how much attention I lave onto Sam's character just to get away from Dean's mindset, something you captured to a tee. Not that I think one brother's character is better than the other, I just find Sam easier to watch/read. It's also the reason why my eyes welled up on reading the last few lines, knowing what a huge ordeal Dean's been through just trying to understand "normal", his admittance to Cas wiping me out.

So yes, I have to go find fluff to get a gut check of happy because this fic will be with me for awhile, yes, making me feel. Thank you so very much for sharing.

[bauble]

First and foremost, I felt the story was paced quite nicely and written beautifully.

Thank you! Pacing is always tricky to get right--particularly in long form fic, so I am glad that this story worked on that mark :)

Reading this was, for me, a test in patience in viewing Dean's stubbornness and deep-seated issues.

It is difficult to watch a character suffer through so much as a result of their flaws and issues, isn't it? It's frustrating because it makes you want to reach out and shake them and say, "You are the source of most of your problems!" It's especially hard to watch because for the first time, most of Dean's problems aren't coming from external forces; it's a different sort of tension knowing that the only way a character is going to stop suffering is if they change, as opposed to having their situation change.

Not that I think one brother's character is better than the other, I just find Sam easier to watch/read. I can definitely understand that. Sam, at least, has a decent sense of self awareness and maybe more

[bauble]

Thank you!

[harper47]

What a moving, lyrical piece. I . . . God it hurt to read and see how broken Dean was. And yet he should be broken, they should all be broken. This will stay with me long after I read it.

You did a wonderful job evoking the way days are - endless, empty, hurting. And then the slow, slow realization of how much he needs Cas. That end broke me and I'm sitting in a public place and really can't cry right now. Beautiful. Thank you.

(my focus is always more on Dean/Cas though I think you did a great job with Sam also)

[bauble]

Thank you so much for your kind words!