"I can't do the little things I hold so dear. 'Cause it's all those little things that I fear."

[justbeingaqueen]

Who: justbeingaqueen and couturejourno
What: Fashionistas Anonymous
Where: Kurt's apartment
When & Time: Morning after THIS
Rating: Open for now, likely swearing

Comments

[justbeingaqueen]

Kurt really had no intention of touching all the delicate finger food sprawling before him. He was tired, but beyond the ability to sleep and he was up so Blaine could have the comfort of the bed to rest in without Kurt squirming around restlessly when sleep evaded him. He got a couple of hours the night before, but he would catch up on more later. Meanwhile, Blaine was had been out-cold starfishing across the bed preferring Kurt's pillow to his own, the jetlag tying in with the fact he was only just discharged from hospital and recovering enough to keep sleep claiming him for now. He smirked faintly. "On death's door, and I still pull focus. C'est la vie. My business has been completely controlled by my management for months now. I honestly couldn't tell you anything. I hear partying is overrated

[couturejourno]

"Fuck it, I don't even know what I'm saying," Leslie replied, with an apologetically embarrassed gaze at Kurt. "Chalk it up to a late night last night finishing the piece on your award."

Leslie seriously couldn't imagine what Kurt was facing. She'd never had a relationship end badly, and honestly, she'd never had a relationship that felt like it meant that much to her, either. To imagine someone being the light in the darkness of a very fucked up world, and then having them ripped away by circumstance? Well, that really sucked, and that much, Leslie knew full well. "But now that it is, it just feels like you're waiting for it to go out again?" she guessed. Her fangirling was quickly forgotten in talking to her friend and realizing just how deep things had gotten for him.

[justbeingaqueen]

Kurt just shook his head dismissively. "Not really judging. I'm in no position for that. It's only been very recently I've had the ability to strong coherent sentences together. Some days, I'm still a lot cause. I'm lucky I'm not brain damaged. My brother saved my life. He gave me CPR and kept me alive until the medics got here. Which is... probably a miracle, considering he's wheelchair bound. The coma and the drugs have left certain things in a bit of a grey area."

"More like the light that is there is still very dim for me," he elaborated. "Therapy and drugs can only do so much. Especially when I keep falling off the wagon. It's been extremely hard for me to deal with Blaine as a father and also as an epileptic. Two main things in his life that weren't there in the past when we dated. Plus, I have a shit load of other people planted firmly back in my life now who I haven't had anything to do with in a really long time."

[couturejourno]

"Oh, God... Sounds like you've got yourself a hell of a brother, babe," she said, thinking about that for a moment. She still had another brother back home in Ridgefield whom she'd barely spoken to since that night all those years ago when Neil had more or less forced her to leave town. She was pretty sure after the line of bull he'd fed them, her family wouldn't have gone so far to help her as Kurt's brother apparently had. "Your family... I've never heard you talk about them."

"Who you haven't had anything to do with by choice, I take it?" Leslie guessed, before taking another sip of her tea.

[justbeingaqueen]

Kurt nodded without any hesitation. "Finn is worth his weight, and trust me, he's huge. Without him, I would be dead... possibly twice. He was there for me after all this mess, and then again when I fell off the wagon. I don't think he really knows what he's doing, but that hasn't stopped him. He's... he was injured at war. I didn't even know. That was yet another thing I had to faced at the reunion on top of the death of my teacher and mentor and Blaine shoving a Cartier rock up in my face the minute I saw him."

"More like forceful determination. I hadn't even spoken to my brother for ten years prior to the reunion. The only people really poignant in my life were my parents and Amelia. I didn't keep in touch with anyone from school, but now all of a sudden they're here and surrounding me and it's been quite the culture shock. The thing is, they're all stubborn bitches and haven't really listened when I've been telling them to piss off," he admitted wryly. "I've had no choice but to get used to having them around again."

[couturejourno]

"He sounds like a hell of a guy," Leslie replied, raising her cup in a mock toast. "Oh, wow... I think that would've been enough to drive anybody to get fucked up. What the hell kind of reunion was that anyway, babe? One that was designed to make everybody depressed?"

A soft smile crossed her lips. "The best friends never do... When you tell your friends to piss off, it's usually the surest sign that you really need them to stay." Setting her mug down, she leaned forward in her seat. "I'm glad they're here, sweets. I really am." She smiled wickedly again. "Even if I am insanely jealous that you landed yourself the only man who could turn me straight."

[justbeingaqueen]

Kurt gave a small smirk, though it was out of fondness more than anything. "Finn was always so thick in school. Slow on the uptake, not the brightest bulb in the pack, but he... surprisingly followed in his father's footsteps. I guess he thought where his father failed, he could get it right. He did well for himself there, made Sergeant. My folks kept me up to date, but I still never spoke directly to Finn again until the reunion. And yes, I'm pretty sure that's exactly what it was designed for, under the guise of trying to bring us all back together. I am sorry he passed away, but Mr Schuester was never one of my favourite people in the world."

His eyebrows rose just a little and he cleared his throat. "Back in school a lot of my friends couldn't see when I needed help, so it's not an automatic assumption for me to need them anymore. What is with that? You are serious one huge fangirl of his, aren't you? Why him?"

[couturejourno]

"Sounds like, thick or no, he really loves you," Leslie replied, her smile warm as she looked over at Kurt. "That Mr. Schuester sounds like a character and a half... So, he literally called you all there to find out he was dead? What the hell?"

"I know the feeling," she admitted, running a hand through her loose waves. "It's... To be honest with you, babe, I don't know what it was that first attracted me, but he's just a sweetie. He's always gracious with his fans, he gives to great charities, and for fuck's sake, he's just gorgeous."

[justbeingaqueen]

"Finn and me went through a lot to build a relationship between us. It wasn't ever easy, we didn't get each other and it got to a point where I stopped trying with him. Then our folks got married, and we had no choice really. We're chalk and cheese... beyond that. But I love him. I never didn't love him, I just didn't want him anywhere near me. We all said extremely horrible things to each other the night of that fight, Finn and me included. Mr Schuester, I don't know... had his own agendas. I guess he thought he could right some wrongs with the world getting us all friends again when he knew he was dying, but he was never there when I needed him. All the reunion did was push me over the edge," Kurt said with a small sigh

[couturejourno]

"Is it one of those things where half of the fight wasn't even really because of what you were fighting over, if that makes sense? Like you were fighting about one thing, but really angry or hurt about something else?" Leslie asked. "Pretty presumptuous bastard if you don't mind my saying so, thinking that his death would be this huge thing that would bring the whole world together again."

"Well, I'd rather he was actually aware when I meet him, so I'll wait," she replied playfully. "Well, I say that, but then again, for his sake, it might be better if he didn't see me making a total ass of myself."

[justbeingaqueen]

Kurt sighed and folded his hands over in front of him so he could look down at them. "Possibly. But I was in a really, really bad place that night. Someone had just sent me photos of Blaine kissing one of my friends, and it felt like my whole world was falling apart. That's basically what started the whole thing. I exploded, I punched Blaine in the face. I screamed at a hell of a lot of people that night, and yes, a lot of it was probably old wounds being sliced open because I was so hurt. I went through a lot in high school, and even though I buried a lot of it away, I perhaps never even really healed from it. A lot of it's hazy now. I crashed my car that night, banged my head. Wrote myself off with drink a few nights the following week until my parents intervened. The drug habit started shortly after that, around the time I heard Blaine had left for England. Mr Schue's problem was clearly that he didn't stop to think that some of us had been through too much in the past to want it brought back like that without warning. But he was

[couturejourno]

Kurt's words broke Leslie's heart. It was such a change from the Kurt she'd known for ages... The Kurt that was the mask he was hiding behind. "Fuck, Kurt... Honey, you're a master of hiding things, then. I had no idea. I mean, I knew you used some recreational stuff when you partied, but I didn't know how involved it was, or why... No wonder things have been so rough for you since then. And then the reunion just dropped everything right back in your lap when you'd never had time to deal with it in the first place."

"I'll restrain myself and wait, then," Leslie replied, only half joking. "Dear God, I can't believe it... Blaine fucking Anderson right here in the flesh."

[justbeingaqueen]

"I didn't want to deal with it, but Blaine made it impossible for me to avoid me. We got stuck in the school, see. Someone locked us down so we would deal with everything, and it went to complete and utter shit. I coped about as well as any drug addict would, and then the next thing I knew, Blaine's having a fit next to me it was the most scariest fucking thing I had ever experience. It was just... all rapidly downhill from there," Kurt admitted and brushed the edge of his thumb over his forehead before adjust the silk gloves covering his wrists.

He gave a small tilt of his head, resting his tongue between his lips. "It's probably fortunate it wasn't in the actual flesh. You never know with Blaine. He could have just as freely come down here half naked than he could in... Superman pyjamas. I will forever deny anyone connected to me ever wears said attire. At least it's a step up from Buzz."

[couturejourno]

"What the hell?!" Leslie asked, her eyes locked on Kurt's in absolute shock. "So they basically kidnapped you and forced you to stay in your school? That can't be legal. What a crock of shit. Oh, honey, I can't imagine... You hadn't kept up with his career enough to know why he supported those charities, I take it?" she asked.

"God, I would've been entirely unladylike right here in your kitchen, babe... Drool and all. Your poor husband... Oh, God... Buzz? Please tell me you don't mean he used to dress in Buzz Lightyear clothes regularly."

[justbeingaqueen]

Kurt bit down on his lip a little harder this time, only just short of drawing blood. "No, I didn't keep up with his career at all. I knew he was famous and I knew he was a rockstar in England. That was it. I wasn't able to deal with anything to do with Blaine, so I didn't. I completely ignored his existence save for a couple of times where it made me fly off the deep end all over again. But that's beside the point. No, I didn't know about his charities, let alone why. I didn't know he was epileptic, and it's been extremely hard for me to cop with and understand

[couturejourno]

"Oh, wow... Kurt, I can't imagine what a shock that must've been. I mean, hell, seeing someone have a fit for the first time would be bad enough if you knew it was coming, but if you had no idea, and didn't expect it..." She shook her head, picking at the finger food on the dessert plate in front of her.

"Oh, shit!" Leslie said, slapping her hand over her mouth. That was not the word she'd meant to say, and she turned a bright pink shade as it hit her what she'd said. "I meant to say boyfriend, and husband came out... Please, ignore me..." Still, she couldn't help the small smile on her face at Kurt's memories of Blaine's Buzz Lightyear pajamas. "Sounds like you've remembered everything, sweets," Leslie finally said softly.