my first birth
Kimberly was due to be born on December 26th, 1993. I was working full time at the 7-Eleven store management office as a receptionist, on my feet for much of my day and I was looking forward to taking maternity leave. My last day of work was Friday December 10th and I hoped that the swelling in my feet would go down before I saw my Ob/Gyn the following Tuesday. My feet were so swollen that I could feel the water jiggle on the top of my feet when I walked!
Monday, December 13th: I went to apply for maternity benefits at the Employment Insurance office. A whopping 58% of my usual pay, which was about $18K a year at the time. Yup, were living high on the hog at that time ;-)
Tuesday, December 14th: I had my final Ob/Gyn appointment. He expressed concern at my blood pressure [I don't remember what it was], and the fact that my feet were so swollen. Without asking me, he picked up the phone and called the hospital to ask if they had a bed to do an induction the next day, then while he was waiting for a reply he asked me, "Do you want to have your baby on your birthday?" I told him "No." He told me that my feet were swollen, my blood pressure was up, and my baby was "big enough" so we could go ahead and have the baby now. I didn't know any better and I trusted his judgement so I just sort of shrugged went along with his plans. He booked me for an induction on December 16th. I'm sure that the biggest reason for my induction had more to do with not interrupting his Christmas plans, and not how swollen my feet were :-/
Wednesday, December 15th was my 22nd birthday. Jack and I spent the morning getting groceries, tidying up the house, and packing my bags for the hospital. At 4 p.m. that day I had to check into the hospital and spend the night before my induction the following morning. Jack stayed with me as long as he could and I cried when he left. I felt so nervous and excited and scared about having our baby the next day and I didn't want to be alone. I hardly slept at all that night.
Thursday, December 16th was the day they wanted me to have my baby. At 6 a.m. a nurse came in to give me an IV and take me down to L&D. Jack arrived, freshly showered, looking as excited and terrified as I felt. They started me on Pit and while I had some contractions, they were mild and spaced very far apart. Throughout the day I dozed in bed, played cards and watched tv with Jack and squirmed through many mildly uncomfortable contractions. In the afternoon, a nurse came to tell Jack that someone was here to see him; his parents had driven down to Regina (a 5 hour drive) to meet their newest grandchild. I wasn't happy since they hadn't asked us if they could come and it felt like an intrusion to me. The doctor increased the amount of Pit in my IV but I still wasn't progressing and I was only 2-3 cm after 12 hours on Pit. At 6 p.m they took out my IV, fed me supper, and put me to bed.
Friday, December 17th we finally met our first born daughter! At 6 a.m. the nurse came to get me, again. A new IV, more Pit, another day in L&D. Jack's parents had spent the night at our house and when Jack arrived he looked like he hadn't slept at all. We both figured we were in for another long day so I sent him home to eat and shower. For three hours, I had more piddly contractions and I still wasn't dilating so when the doctor arrived at 9 a.m. he decided to break my water. He broke my water and before he had even left the room I had a contraction that nearly lifted me off the bed. After a few of those, I begged the nurse to call my husband and tell him to come right away! I was so relieved when Jack arrived and I think he was quite shocked to see me in labour like that! My contractions were very close together and very painful, especially since I was semi sitting in bed with the monitor strapped to my belly like a Good Patient. I remember trying to rub my belly during contractions (effleurage) but most of my belly was covered in wide elastic belts from the monitor so I would rub a small circle on one exposed patch of skin! It didn't help much.
I held a wet washcloth in one hand and squeezed it during contractions, eventually squeezing it dry! Jack stood beside me on the left and held one hand under my back, ready to rub and press as hard as he could when the contractions came. During contractions, I would stare into his eyes and breathe deeply; he later told me how sore and dried out his eyes got as I breathed so close to his face like that! Kim did well during my labour but she was posterior and felt like she was completely on the left side of my belly! During contractions I would have to lean way back to avoid the painful pressure that her little bum and feet were putting on the left side of my ribs. I kept my hand just below my ribs to press down during contractions. Because of Kim's position, they had trouble keeping her heart rate picked up on the monitor belts so I would have student nurses come in and feel my belly (which would set off a contraction) and try to find the fetal heart rate. I was getting very grouchy and tired of being bothered so a senior nurse came in with a syringe and told me she was giving me something to help me "relax". No consent, nothing, she just poked it into my hip and left the room. It was demerol and all it did was make me feel really loopy and out of control. The pain was even more intense because I couldn't coordinate my relaxation and breathing until the demerol wore off. Like a good husband, Jack was trying to time my contractions and when he realized that I didn't even get 30 seconds between the end of one and the start of another contraction, he quit timing.
At about 10:30 in the morning they checked me again and I was completely dilated. I had been only 2-3 cm in the morning before they broke my water, so to progress from 3-complete in that short of time....you can imagine how painful and intense those contractions were. Can everyone say, "hyperstimulated"? Thankyou. When the nurse checked me and found that I was complete, she asked me if I felt I needed to push. Nope, no urge to push. "Do you feel pressure in your bum?" Yes. "Okay then, with the next contraction I want you to push."
*slaps forehead* If I knew then what I know now....
So, I started pushing. And pushing and pushing and pushing and pushing. They wheeled me to the delivery room, told Jack to put on a gown, and got me set up on the bed of torture. Looking at pictures, I can see that I was semi-sitting on the delivery table, but my legs and feet were in stirrups and I kept telling the nurse, "I need to sit up! I need to sit up!" She would pat me and say 'You *are* sitting up dear" Even at the tender age of 22, birthing my first child, my body knew what it needed, but no one was listening.
With Jack beside on my right, I pushed with everything I had. I pushed for more than two hours, I pushed while my doctor stuck his fingers in me and stretched my perineum, sweeping from side to side. It actually felt better when he did that and gave me direction as to how and where to push. I didn't have an epidural or anything, but it was my first baby and it took me a while to figure out the pushing. Eventually, I saw the doctor pick up a syringe and I knew right away what he was going to do. Jack quickly distracted me and I felt only a prick from the needle but I knew he was going to cut me. I pushed some more, then the doctor brought out the vacuum, cut me some more, and applied the suction cup to Kim's head. As I pushed, the doctor turned Kim to an anterior position and I felt her move down and outward with my final two pushes. When her body slipped out of mine, it was the weirdest, most amazing feeling ever! "It's a girl." the doctor calmly announced. She was born just three hours and 45 minutes after they broke my water.
They took her to the Ohio and once she was wrapped up like a mummy they brought her to me. My hands were under the sterile surgical drapes encumbered with IV's and BP cuff so the nurse just held Kim on my chest for a few seconds and then took her away, but I fell in love with that chubby little face immediately. Jack and I both cried tears of joy and relief.
With Kim gone to the nursery and nothing to do but deliver the placenta and get a gazillion stitches, Jack left to tell his parents the good news. The doctor started pulling on the cord to deliver the placenta and that was the most pain I'd felt during the entire delivery. I moaned and cried until the doctor ordered the nurse to give me some 'gas'. She put a mask over my face and told me to breathe deeply. When she took the mask away the room was spinning, I felt really groggy, and my tongue felt too huge to speak properly. After reading my medical records many years later, I discovered that my placenta had come out "in pieces" and the doctor had to "manually remove" some of them. No bloody wonder it hurt so much!! It took the doctor 45 minutes to stitch me up, cut from ying to yang as it were. As the nurses took apart the stirrups and took away the sterile drapes, they were amazed at the amount of sweat that was soaked into everything! I had worked so hard to have my baby, and they all knew it!
Eventually, Jack came back and they took me to my room to get me settled. Jack's parents were in my postpartum room, waiting for us o-O The nurse asked them to leave while she got me to use the toilet and get settled in bed, and while we did that Jack went and got Kim from the nursery. When I was finally in bed, Jack brought Kim into the room and his parents were right behind him. I still resent the fact that when Jack and I were having our very first moments with our first child, we were not given the privacy to become a family. His parents were right there as I unwrapped Kim and counted her toes, touched her silky skin, and kissed her for the first time. Despite the lack of privacy, it was so amazing to look at my baby and know that Jack and I had created her just from the act of loving each other. Our baby.....our baby!!
As they brought me my supper tray Kim was fussy and crying (a late hunger cue) and I nursed her for the first time, with help from the nurse. I'm so, so thankful that I chose to breastfeed and that I had committed to doing it no matter what. After the first few days my nipples blistered, cracked, and bled but we eventually figured it out and carried on with breastfeeding. Not much breastfeeding help at that time.
And now, that gorgeous 8 lb baby girl is 15 years old, taller than I am, has her learner's license tucked into her wallet, and can change her baby sister's cloth diapers as well as I can. I couldn't be more proud of her, for becoming such an amazing, beautiful, smart, and kind young woman. Someday, I hope that I will be her midwife as she births her first child. If nothing can inspire me to finish school and get registered, that thought alone will.
Monday, December 13th: I went to apply for maternity benefits at the Employment Insurance office. A whopping 58% of my usual pay, which was about $18K a year at the time. Yup, were living high on the hog at that time ;-)
Tuesday, December 14th: I had my final Ob/Gyn appointment. He expressed concern at my blood pressure [I don't remember what it was], and the fact that my feet were so swollen. Without asking me, he picked up the phone and called the hospital to ask if they had a bed to do an induction the next day, then while he was waiting for a reply he asked me, "Do you want to have your baby on your birthday?" I told him "No." He told me that my feet were swollen, my blood pressure was up, and my baby was "big enough" so we could go ahead and have the baby now. I didn't know any better and I trusted his judgement so I just sort of shrugged went along with his plans. He booked me for an induction on December 16th. I'm sure that the biggest reason for my induction had more to do with not interrupting his Christmas plans, and not how swollen my feet were :-/
Wednesday, December 15th was my 22nd birthday. Jack and I spent the morning getting groceries, tidying up the house, and packing my bags for the hospital. At 4 p.m. that day I had to check into the hospital and spend the night before my induction the following morning. Jack stayed with me as long as he could and I cried when he left. I felt so nervous and excited and scared about having our baby the next day and I didn't want to be alone. I hardly slept at all that night.
Thursday, December 16th was the day they wanted me to have my baby. At 6 a.m. a nurse came in to give me an IV and take me down to L&D. Jack arrived, freshly showered, looking as excited and terrified as I felt. They started me on Pit and while I had some contractions, they were mild and spaced very far apart. Throughout the day I dozed in bed, played cards and watched tv with Jack and squirmed through many mildly uncomfortable contractions. In the afternoon, a nurse came to tell Jack that someone was here to see him; his parents had driven down to Regina (a 5 hour drive) to meet their newest grandchild. I wasn't happy since they hadn't asked us if they could come and it felt like an intrusion to me. The doctor increased the amount of Pit in my IV but I still wasn't progressing and I was only 2-3 cm after 12 hours on Pit. At 6 p.m they took out my IV, fed me supper, and put me to bed.
Friday, December 17th we finally met our first born daughter! At 6 a.m. the nurse came to get me, again. A new IV, more Pit, another day in L&D. Jack's parents had spent the night at our house and when Jack arrived he looked like he hadn't slept at all. We both figured we were in for another long day so I sent him home to eat and shower. For three hours, I had more piddly contractions and I still wasn't dilating so when the doctor arrived at 9 a.m. he decided to break my water. He broke my water and before he had even left the room I had a contraction that nearly lifted me off the bed. After a few of those, I begged the nurse to call my husband and tell him to come right away! I was so relieved when Jack arrived and I think he was quite shocked to see me in labour like that! My contractions were very close together and very painful, especially since I was semi sitting in bed with the monitor strapped to my belly like a Good Patient. I remember trying to rub my belly during contractions (effleurage) but most of my belly was covered in wide elastic belts from the monitor so I would rub a small circle on one exposed patch of skin! It didn't help much.
I held a wet washcloth in one hand and squeezed it during contractions, eventually squeezing it dry! Jack stood beside me on the left and held one hand under my back, ready to rub and press as hard as he could when the contractions came. During contractions, I would stare into his eyes and breathe deeply; he later told me how sore and dried out his eyes got as I breathed so close to his face like that! Kim did well during my labour but she was posterior and felt like she was completely on the left side of my belly! During contractions I would have to lean way back to avoid the painful pressure that her little bum and feet were putting on the left side of my ribs. I kept my hand just below my ribs to press down during contractions. Because of Kim's position, they had trouble keeping her heart rate picked up on the monitor belts so I would have student nurses come in and feel my belly (which would set off a contraction) and try to find the fetal heart rate. I was getting very grouchy and tired of being bothered so a senior nurse came in with a syringe and told me she was giving me something to help me "relax". No consent, nothing, she just poked it into my hip and left the room. It was demerol and all it did was make me feel really loopy and out of control. The pain was even more intense because I couldn't coordinate my relaxation and breathing until the demerol wore off. Like a good husband, Jack was trying to time my contractions and when he realized that I didn't even get 30 seconds between the end of one and the start of another contraction, he quit timing.
At about 10:30 in the morning they checked me again and I was completely dilated. I had been only 2-3 cm in the morning before they broke my water, so to progress from 3-complete in that short of time....you can imagine how painful and intense those contractions were. Can everyone say, "hyperstimulated"? Thankyou. When the nurse checked me and found that I was complete, she asked me if I felt I needed to push. Nope, no urge to push. "Do you feel pressure in your bum?" Yes. "Okay then, with the next contraction I want you to push."
*slaps forehead* If I knew then what I know now....
So, I started pushing. And pushing and pushing and pushing and pushing. They wheeled me to the delivery room, told Jack to put on a gown, and got me set up on the bed of torture. Looking at pictures, I can see that I was semi-sitting on the delivery table, but my legs and feet were in stirrups and I kept telling the nurse, "I need to sit up! I need to sit up!" She would pat me and say 'You *are* sitting up dear" Even at the tender age of 22, birthing my first child, my body knew what it needed, but no one was listening.
With Jack beside on my right, I pushed with everything I had. I pushed for more than two hours, I pushed while my doctor stuck his fingers in me and stretched my perineum, sweeping from side to side. It actually felt better when he did that and gave me direction as to how and where to push. I didn't have an epidural or anything, but it was my first baby and it took me a while to figure out the pushing. Eventually, I saw the doctor pick up a syringe and I knew right away what he was going to do. Jack quickly distracted me and I felt only a prick from the needle but I knew he was going to cut me. I pushed some more, then the doctor brought out the vacuum, cut me some more, and applied the suction cup to Kim's head. As I pushed, the doctor turned Kim to an anterior position and I felt her move down and outward with my final two pushes. When her body slipped out of mine, it was the weirdest, most amazing feeling ever! "It's a girl." the doctor calmly announced. She was born just three hours and 45 minutes after they broke my water.
They took her to the Ohio and once she was wrapped up like a mummy they brought her to me. My hands were under the sterile surgical drapes encumbered with IV's and BP cuff so the nurse just held Kim on my chest for a few seconds and then took her away, but I fell in love with that chubby little face immediately. Jack and I both cried tears of joy and relief.
With Kim gone to the nursery and nothing to do but deliver the placenta and get a gazillion stitches, Jack left to tell his parents the good news. The doctor started pulling on the cord to deliver the placenta and that was the most pain I'd felt during the entire delivery. I moaned and cried until the doctor ordered the nurse to give me some 'gas'. She put a mask over my face and told me to breathe deeply. When she took the mask away the room was spinning, I felt really groggy, and my tongue felt too huge to speak properly. After reading my medical records many years later, I discovered that my placenta had come out "in pieces" and the doctor had to "manually remove" some of them. No bloody wonder it hurt so much!! It took the doctor 45 minutes to stitch me up, cut from ying to yang as it were. As the nurses took apart the stirrups and took away the sterile drapes, they were amazed at the amount of sweat that was soaked into everything! I had worked so hard to have my baby, and they all knew it!
Eventually, Jack came back and they took me to my room to get me settled. Jack's parents were in my postpartum room, waiting for us o-O The nurse asked them to leave while she got me to use the toilet and get settled in bed, and while we did that Jack went and got Kim from the nursery. When I was finally in bed, Jack brought Kim into the room and his parents were right behind him. I still resent the fact that when Jack and I were having our very first moments with our first child, we were not given the privacy to become a family. His parents were right there as I unwrapped Kim and counted her toes, touched her silky skin, and kissed her for the first time. Despite the lack of privacy, it was so amazing to look at my baby and know that Jack and I had created her just from the act of loving each other. Our baby.....our baby!!
As they brought me my supper tray Kim was fussy and crying (a late hunger cue) and I nursed her for the first time, with help from the nurse. I'm so, so thankful that I chose to breastfeed and that I had committed to doing it no matter what. After the first few days my nipples blistered, cracked, and bled but we eventually figured it out and carried on with breastfeeding. Not much breastfeeding help at that time.
And now, that gorgeous 8 lb baby girl is 15 years old, taller than I am, has her learner's license tucked into her wallet, and can change her baby sister's cloth diapers as well as I can. I couldn't be more proud of her, for becoming such an amazing, beautiful, smart, and kind young woman. Someday, I hope that I will be her midwife as she births her first child. If nothing can inspire me to finish school and get registered, that thought alone will.