I guess what hurts the most is knowing that you used to at least pretend you wanted to talk to me and now it's a reality that you really don't, you'd rather talk to Lydia. A part of me; all of me wishes you'd go back to pretending, but it wouldn't be fair to Lydia and it wouldn't be fair to you and it'd just fuck me up more, but I don't want our 4-
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