Well today was the funeral, it was nice, funeral-like, but seeing as how i've never been to a funeral before as my mom doesn't do funerals, i didn't know what to expect, but it was nice. It was hard, as a funeral would be expected to be, i mean i was saying goodbye to a friend, someone who i've confided in on a number of occasions, who i was told ( Read more... )

Today was so hard to deal with, and after all of it, i'm so so happy that we're talking again. I couldn't stand the day that me and tim are no longer in love, loving each other, waiting to see each other, hear each other breath, feel each others skin against ours. ALWAYS AND FOREVER ALWAYS AND FOREVER ALWAYS AND FOREVER ALWAYS AND FOREVER ALWAYS ( Read more... )

i wish i could eat, but all food has lost its flavor, and i wish i could stop crying, i'm making myself sick, though whats the use of even caring.... I have to work, tho thre's nothing beneficial there for me, i can't go to the wake tonite, i'd give up everything in my power to be happy.... but i somehow can't do it. I wish he was here to give me ( Read more... )

I"ve ruined it, i've ruined everything.....

i look at my glasses and i've decided i refuse to wear them because even if i can't see clearly, i can't see clearly with them anyway... i wish....

I hate being me, nothing ever goes right, nothing ever turns out how i wish it would, nothing ever goes my way, no one ever cares to stay and wonder why, and sit with my while i cry, no one ever dares to care, or ever wonder why i'm there, no one ever looks at me and really ever tries to see. Who am i really? who am i to you, to me? i don't know, ( Read more... )

Why was i so stupid? what in the whole multitude of my mind could have made me think that honesty would have gotten me anywhere. it hardly ever works in movies, and movies are the land of make believe, why would i have thought it would work in the real world. Nothing ever works in my world. Every time i get a taste of something good, before it ( Read more... )

Ok this week is a horrible week for everybody... Crystal is killed in a car accident Sunday.. ok that sucked... so i've been goin thru that the last few days, and now today (tues) tim's grandpa dies, and i know i've been difficult and everything, but w/ tim i have no idea what to say, i mean i at least talked to him, even if it was mopey and kinda ( Read more... )

Wow tim is my fave... Heh he wanted to i think send me more roses cuz mine are dying, but i told him not to... flowers are temporary, but if he saves his money for when he comes back, memories last forever... But i feel like an evil coniving bitch for how things have been going lately in my life... (Josh Kelley- Everybody wants you)... ok just ( Read more... )

omg... people are so unappreciative sometimes. I get chris and dan and stacy together and shit so me and chris could have something to do, w/o having to go and pay for it and all, he just gets all grouchy after i want to to leave at 1130 after an hour and a half enduring boring HALO! but otherwise than that ring hunting went well and all that, so i ( Read more... )