Characters: Tackey and Tsubasa, with mentions of Jin
Pairing: TakiTsuba
Genre: AU, fluff and romance
Rating: PG13
Summary (2/2): When a new lover robot steps into Tsubasa's life, where does Takki Love Robo stand?
(1/2): An order mix-up ends up with Tsubasa going home with his worst nightmare. But when opposites attract, will this nightmare morph into a sweet dream?
Disclaimer: I own JE. Oops, my bad, I stand corrected - Johnni Johnny-san does. The plot is inspired by Zetai Kareshi (Absolute Boyfriend).
Love Artificially (Chapter 1/2)Love Artificially (Chapter 2/2)
‘Hi, Imai-san. Are you expecting company?’ It’s a face he has almost forgotten, blundering Salesman Jin.
……..
‘Tadaima!’ Takki yells from the door. But there’s no answer, and he’s disappointed. Feeling vulnerable, he’s been longing to hug Tsubasa since his disastrous meeting. He's certain that Tsubasa will be able to hush his fears and heal the emotional scar with a gentle, motherly, ‘Everything’s gonna be all right.’
Stripping off his clothes on his way to the living room, he’s surprised to see Tsubasa. The latter is sitting on the sofa, staring blankly ahead. The look on his face is unreadable. ‘Maybe he’s feeling vulnerable too. Maybe he misses me too!’ Convinced of the reason, Takki breaks his lover’s reverie by jumping unceremoniously onto his lap.
‘Did you miss me?’ Takki asks with puppy eyes as he wraps his arms around him. ‘I’ve missed you like crazy. The world’s such a scary place without you, The so-called Yamashita Tomohisa-lookalike I was supposed to meet turned out to be this sleazy old man by the name of Johnni-san. That 300 year-old geezer even had the audacity to deny that he lied, claiming that he actually looked that baby-faced when he was 30. Then he offered to make it a compensated date if I were to follow him to a love motel. I was so scared I almost cried. If I'm to be exploited, I want it to be nobody, nobody but you.’
Suddenly, Tsubasa is all ears. ‘So did he touch you?’
‘No. I'm still your virgin flower,’ Takki anxiously declares. Then continuing brightly, ‘And I trashed him with my bag before I left. I think someone’s gonna be eating out of a tube for a while.’ With evident self-satisfaction and not a pang of remorse, the lover cum killer robot proudly admires his akuma-no-te (devil’s hands). ‘Nobody touches me but you. I’m yours, exclusively, for life.’
‘But I don't deserve it. I don’t deserve you.’
Sensing that something’s wrong, Takki quickly assures, ‘I know you don’t love me. And that’s okay. I’m happy loving you, and that’s enough for me. All I ask is that you breathe. As long as you’re alive and kicking, as long as I’m by your side, I’m happy.’ Locking eyes with the love-of-his-life, he adds, ‘Besides, I believe that one day, one day, you’ll come to love me too.’
Never one to pass an opportunity to show off his array of talents, Takki then attempts to serenade him with the song, One Fine Day. Tearing himself from the comfortable lap, he does a double spin and croons, accompanied with matching animated gestures, ‘One fine day you'll look at me, and you will know our love was meant to be. One fine day, you're gonna want me for your girl...’
Shell-shocked by the spectacle before him, Tsubasa doesn’t know whether to bend over in fits of laughter or to cry over the fact that while his very average PC is installed with Intel, his state-of-the-art lover machine is installed with idiot. Finally, he chooses to hug the impromptu entertainer.
Tsubasa’s first voluntary hug is warm and soothing. Yet he continues his case, ‘I really don’t deserve you. Please love someone else, someone else who will love you back.’ Before a shaken Takki could object, he presses the button.
…………
It’s so suffocatingly silent. The lack of distraction only makes his underlying loneliness scream even louder. Nevertheless, Tsubasa convinces himself that he’s only suffering from withdrawal symptoms. It’s only a habit he needs to break.
‘Yua, can you come over for a sec?’
The pretty female robot responses as requested.
‘Ermm… you know… you can always take initiative. If you feel like it, you can always come over and talk to me anytime, even if I look so busy like I'm killing myself with work. You don’t have to sit quietly at the corner all the time.’
Unfortunately, his cry for attention goes unanswered. ‘Thank you, darling. But I only feel like talking to you when you feel like talking to me. That's how you want it too, isn't it? A showcase doll?’ Yua replies, with a service-industry smile. Then failing to decipher the reason behind Tsubasa’s crest-fallen face and downcast eyes, she feebly offers, ‘Can I get you anything?’
Seeing her perplexed expression, Tsubasa smiles sadly and orders a black coffee. In that very same situation, Takki would have attempted to fling his not-very-long shoulder-length hair and say, ‘Coffee, tea or ME?’ in a skin-crawling, goosebumps-inducing voice.
‘It’s no good. I thought of him again. When will it finally be over?’ Tsubasa sighs.
Hoping to clear his head with a trip back to his hometown, Tsubasa eagerly looks forward to celebrating his grandmother’s 91st birthday. And this time, he’s not going back alone. Yua will be with him. Finally, he has a ‘girlfriend’ to show off.
Back home, his family is duly impressed, especially his father, who pats his back and chuckles, 'You've never brought anyone home so I just figured you were gay. But I'm so relieved that it's only because you have high standards.' However, as the evening progresses, their good opinion starts to wane.
‘Are all trophy girlfriends so-?’ Tsubasa’s sister suddenly asks him when Yua steps out of the kitchen to lay the table.
‘So… what? Did she do something wrong? Break something? That useless boy, he’s always breaking something.’
‘Boy?’
‘No, I mean… I mean sometimes she looks like a boy.’ Tsubasa mentally curses himself for mistaking Yua for Takki.
‘With long bouncy curls that looks like they’ve just stepped out of a hair commercial?’
‘Ermm… forget it. Is something wrong with her?’
‘No, no biggie. She’s just a little quiet, too quiet.’
‘Better than someone who yaps non-stop-’ This time, Tsubasa stops himself in time before launching another rant attack on Takki.
Observing his parents at the dinner table, Tsubasa can tell that his parents are starting to feel the same way about Yua. They would much rather prefer someone lively to glamourous. Frustrated, he waits for her to leave the table before throwing in his chopsticks and saying, ‘She’s just shy. Okay?’ Then he storms off, angrier at himself than anything else.
To make matters worse, Tsubasa knows that if he'd brought Takki instead, the somehow-charismatic robot would have easily won his family’s heart; after they recover from their initial shock of his coming-out. He can imagine Takki terrorising his father with pro-wrestling moves, gushing over naked baby photos with his mother, and decorating the nails of his fashionista sister; while they swoon over how talented and beautiful he is.
Lying in bed, he looks over to Yua, who is snoring soundly tucked in the futon on the floor. He doesn’t remember choosing the snoring option in his preference list. At least Takki doesn’t snore. But then again, he would insist on squeezing in together with him onto his single-sized bed and periodically molest him throughout the night. It seems that even robots aren't perfect.
Upset and guilt-ridden, Tsubasa finally decides, ‘This can’t go on. I need to call that salesman, Jin when I return.’
............
‘I’m sorry, Jin. But can I have the particulars of the new owner? I just want to see Ta- the robot, from afar. I promise I won’t disturb him or his owner. I just need to know that he’s doing well and is getting along fine. Nothing else, I promise,’ Tsubasa rattles on, afraid that if he stops, he may back down.
‘Whoa, Imai-san. Take it easy. There’s no need to worship him from afar. In fact, you can have him back. We’re actually planning to scrap him tomorrow.’
‘Why? What's wrong? Did the buyer reject him? But how could anyone reject him?’
‘Every time we try to delete his memory bank or reprogramme him, he automatically shuts down. It’s like he has a will of his own, and is refusing to be modified.’
Tsubasa grins broadly. That’s exactly like the Takki he remembers - sometimes a stubborn mule, who only feigns cooperation long enough for him to look away; and at other times, a whiney 3 year-old, who looks at him with wide-eyed innocence claiming that it’s not his fault that he suffers from selective amnesia concerning instructions, orders and commands.
‘It’s creepy,’ Jin shudders, ‘You can pick him up today if you want.’
…………
‘Do you want to have sex tonight?’
‘No, thank you. Maybe not tonight.’
‘Oh, okay. Good night then.’
If only she would kick up a fuss or even just pout a little, Tsubasa would’ve given in. If only she would kiss or even just hug him good night, he would've loved her a little. But she doesn’t. And he's left staring at the ceiling wishing for x-ray vision to penetrate into the closet in the attic.
One night, after a few rounds of customary sex, Tsubasa lies in bed unsatisfied. He knows that it's not that he's not getting enough for he's well aware that Yua can go on all night and all day. But something's missing. He tosses and turns as the missing piece of the puzzle haunts him. Eventually, surrendering to the wild monkeys wreaking havoc in his mind, he creeps out of bed and wanders aimlessly around his home. Following his feet or maybe his heart, he finds himself standing in front of the closet in the attic. He doesn't open it because he already knows what's in it - his worst nightmare.
Treating the closet like Pandora's box, Tsubasa paces around it warily, daring only to look at it occasionally from the corners of his eyes. After what seems like forever, he grudgingly acknowledges that resistance is futile. For like most mere mortals, he can resist anything but temptation.
The temptation is still clad in that gaudy uniform - a brown polo t-shirt with the logo of its manufacturer, Pinnacle. Jin had dressed him up, claiming that a naked Takki was impossible to work with.
Smirking at the logo, Tsubasa complains, 'Pinnacle? Yeah, pinnacle of disappointment.' Nonetheless, he softens a little when he runs his fingers through Takki's luscious hair. Then carefully removing the ugly polo tee, he lets the creamy skin underneath it breathe. It's been so long that he's almost forgotten how inviting it looks. Equally inviting are broad droopy shoulders that seem tailor-made for him to nestle his head onto. Before long, he's fast asleep, their hands interlocking, dreaming of hugs and kisses and ‘I love you's’.
Falling asleep sitting next to Takki soon gives way snuggling against him in a closet lined with silk futon. Every night after sex with Yua, sneaking up to the closet to be with Takki is beginning to develop into Tsubasa's favourite routine. Favourite or not, this dream-like routine is about to face a rude awakening.
'What are you doing with that chainsaw?! And where did you even get it? I don't recall ever owning one!' a topless Tsubasa shrieks at the shadowy figure, looming ominously outside the closet, with a chainsaw glistening in the dark.
'I mail-ordered it,' Yua replies emotionlessly.
'But why?!'
'To hack up that corpse you're cheating on me with!' she screams. Tsubasa’s shocked. This isn't the meek and submissive Yua he knows.
'Corpse?' He asks, still struggling out of the daze.
'Yeah, that naked lifeless thing over there.'
'No, da-darling. It's a robot, just like you. It's just deactivated.'
'Robot? That's even more unforgivable! I'm a robot too. What's wrong with me?'
'Nothing! You're perfect! No, well, almost, except for the chainsaw you're wielding,' Tsubasa tries desperately to pacify Yua, with limited success.
'Then what's so great about him?' she asks indignantly.
'Nothing, he's horrible, the worst, the pits.'
Reading his body language, she knows it's the truth. 'Then why?'
'I... I don't know. But please, please don't hurt him,' he pleas.
'Why?'
'Because... I don't know. I... I really don't.'
'Why?!' Yua refuses to give in.
'Because... because I love him,' Tsubasa finally blurts.
Yua may not have felt love before, but she thinks she knows what it is. And being female after all, robot or not, a declaration like that touches something in her robotic heartware. She drops the menacing equipment and lets her eyes moist. Tsubasa doesn't leave her in her traumatised state for long, and promptly, albeit gingerly, hugs her. Just as she's wondering if Tsubasa might love her too, he presses the button.
.............
It's winter and knee-height snow has made unwelcome settlement on Tsubasa's driveway. While he might admit, if cornered, that he's a domesticated god, shovelling snow ranks very lowly on his to-do list. If only he has someone to do it with. And naturally, his thoughts travel to Takki. Insisting that the good-for-nothing will only jeopardise his progress with taunts of snowballs, he hurriedly shelves that astray thought away before his mind runs amok again. It's been a while since he last thought of that defective reject - a grand total of one whole week. 'Baby steps. But I can do it,' Tsubasa announces, raising his shovel into the air in resolute resistance.
While the adults are busy shovelling snow, the children are out having fun. Looking at his neighbour's two boys engaging in a snowball fight, Tsubasa is once again distracted. If only... But he catches himself in time and quickly turns his attention to the two snowmen in his neighbour's yard. A carrot nose has fallen off one of the snowmen. Looking at the nose-less snow statue, Tsubasa suddenly guffaws. He's just imagined Takki playfully inserting the carrot not back as a nose but as a phallic symbol, south of the nose.
Despite time healing all wounds, it also wounds all heals. Succumbing to seething longing, Tsubasa subconsciously decides that closeted robots need protection from the cold too. Hence, with a mixture of dread and desire, Tsubasa nervously makes his way to the closet with his warmest blanket. Opening the doors, he sees Takki still in perpetual sleep mode, looking every bit a sleeping beauty waiting for his prince charming to bestow on him the kiss of life. But a kiss of life he can't give. He has had enough of robots. The ones he ends up with are either defective or destructive. Although 'defective' is less life-threatening, it messes up his mind and more so his heart. To him, a human’s love is only a chemical reaction, and a machine’s love is but deft programming. Therefore, he still can't accept that there can be genuine love between man and machine. It’s simply impossible to fall in love with a robot, and for a robot to really love anyone, lover robots or not.
Next morning, Tsubasa feels as if he has woken in a sweet dream. He's not sleeping in that cold, crammed closet but his snug, spacious bed. The early sun has set his bedroom gently aglow and he can even faintly hear birds singing outside. But the best thing about this dream is lying next to him, breathing softly. Takki's breathing is music to his ears. To better savour the sight of the sleeping angel, he carefully draws away the golden brown tresses covering Takki's eyes. Unable to resist those thick, long lashes, he reaches in for a peck, then another and another, until he slowly makes his way to the curvy lips. Planting feather-like kisses along the M-shaped outline, with eyes closed in deep relish, Tsubasa fails to notice that Takki is stirring.
When their eyes finally meet, Tsubasa dreamily smiles and coos, 'Morning, baby.’ Then he continues with his earlier preoccupation. In between more smooches, he mumbles the heart-melting words, ‘I love you.’
In spite of it all being so intoxicatingly sweet that Takki could almost feel a toothache coming, he still feels uneasy. The last thing he recalls is Tsubasa telling him is to find someone else, now he's kissing him like they’re joined to the lips.
Tsubasa’s French kiss of the century seems to last just as long, and by the end of it, Takki’s body is too limp to react, and his mind too mushy to worry. For Tsubasa, time has stopped and the world is in standstill. Drunkenly smiling at no one, he’s contented to just lie there and soak in the bliss for all eternity. Alas, as quickly as this fairy-tale-like dream surfaces, it dissipates.
'Really… you love me?' Takki stammers, eyes gleaming with moondust and starlight. Power of speech is apparently his most resilient function.
'Wait, dreams aren't supposed to interrogate you. So... maybe this isn't a dream? It isn’t? But wait, how did-? How did Takki get reactivated? Did I... unconsciously... reactivate him last night?'
'I mean really, really love love me?'
'You know what? You talk too much.’
'I do? But I can change. You just tell me what else's wrong, I'll go chang-'
'Nay, forget it. Don't change a thing,’ Tsubasa stops him short, ‘You're perfect. And I love you just the way you are.'
'You love me? And you finally realise that I’m perfect? It’s just that you were always so busy pushing me away to see that Mr Perfect has always been waiting, right in front of you. Well, I guess it’s better late than never. Besides, it’s not all your fault. You’re only just human after all. Oh, and before I forget, you still owe me 679 kisses, 689 hugs and 456 “I love you's”...'
It seems like after all this time, Takki hasn't changed a bit, and Tsubasa wouldn't want it any other way.
PS: And they lived happily ever after, with a daily, dangerous dosage of mind-numbing, breath-stopping, heart-racing, muscle-straining, organ-abusing sex.
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The week after next, the beginning of a saga, my first 10-chap romance/murder mystery. Please bear with me. Enjoy! Next up,
Boys Do It Better.