Fanfiction (Script): Boys Do It Better (one-shot)
Characters: Jin, Kame, Pi and obasan Takki
Pairing: Akame, Pin, TakkiJin
Genre: AU, Comedy
Rating: PG 13
Summary: Jin goes into a gay phase, terrorising Kame and Pi.
Disclaimer: I own JE and I'm in my delusional phase.
Note: This is in the form of a 5-minute webisode script (my very first script!). Jin, Kame and Pi are flatmates. And Pi and Kame are bespectacled geeks running a cosplay costume and accessories blogshop: The Cos-shop Boys, with Jin as their model.
Boys Do It Better
INT. JIN’S ROOM - NIGHT
JIN is clearing away some items into a box: a teddy bear, photos of him cozying up to his latest model ex-girlfriend, tiger-striped G-strings, sex toys and a necklace.
But he changes his mind and takes out the bear and necklace. Finally, he tapes the box up.
JIN
Screw girls!
INT. JIN’S ROOM - NEXT MORNING
Jin is gesturing and lip-syncing to the song, I kissed a 'boy' and I liked it, as he brushes his shoulder-length hair.
INT. KITCHEN - LUNCH TIME
KAME is busy preparing lunch when Jin comes in dressed in a tight tee that reads, ‘I Don’t Wanna Cry Alone!' and micro-shorts. Jin goes over to wash the rice.
KAME
No, you don't wash rice with detergent.
Jin moves to taste the soup then tries to add salt to it.
KAME
No, that's sugar.
Jin moves to the stove and turns a knob on it.
KAME
No!
CUT TO: Kitchen in a mess: soup and eggs everyway, pots and pans overturned.
Kame is grudgingly scrubbing the pots and pans at the basin.
JIN
I may not cook. But I can clean.
Jin moves behind Kame and envelops him from behind whilst pretending to do washing.
KAME
You’re washing my hands.
JIN
You don't like it?
KAME
It's ticklish. No, wait. I don't like it.
JIN
You have nice hands.
KAME
Really? Not too thin, too bony?
JIN
In a nice sort of way.
Kame blushes.
Jin smiles.
INT. PI'S ROOM - NIGHT
PI is busy at his desk with web management when Jin pops in with a tight t-shirt that says, 'Don’t U Ever Stop!' and micro-shorts.
JIN
Brought you your black iced coffee, shaken and stirred.
PI
Thanks.
Slighted, Jin takes to massaging Pi's shoulders.
JIN
You look tense.
Jin massages down Pi's body and when he reaches the waist, he lifts the shirt.
PI
Stop molesting me.
JIN
You don't like it?
Jin continues to massage Pi.
PI
It's ticklish. No, wait. I don't like it.
JIN
You have nice shoulders.
PI
Really? Not too broad, too beefy?
JIN
In a nice sort of way.
Pi blushes.
Jin smiles.
INT. LIVING ROOM - AFTER DINNER ON SATURDAY NGHT
Jin comes into the living room where Pi is watching lesbian porn. The coffee table is full of pussy porn titles, popcorn and potato chips.
PI
Wanna watch lesbo porn with me?
JIN
What's that?
RIS
It's cute girls on cute girls. And did I mention they're cute?
Jin sits and watches.
Kame pops in from the kitchen with more food: chocolate fondue, cupcakes and tarts.
KAME
Jin, enjoy these while you watch, ne.
INT. KITCHEN/JIN’S IMAGINATION - NIGHT
Kame and Pi, in tight white tees, are in the kitchen washing dishes.
They are washing each other’s hands in soapy water.
Then they laughingly splash water at each other until their white tees are see-through soaked.
Their eyes interlock.
INT. PI BEDROOM/JIN’S IMAGINATION - NIGHT
Kame is giving a topless Pi a back massage.
He pours massage oil all over Pi’s back.
Pi smiles.
Kame starts from the shoulders then moves down to the waist.
Then removing the towel covering the waist down…
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
PI
Kame, we need to talk. Kitchen. Now.
INT. KITCHEN/JIN’S IMAGINATION - A FEW MINUTES LATER
Pi and Kame, armed to the teeth, are doing a kungfu stare down.
Pi is armed with choppers in both hands.
Kame is clutching knives in one hand and forks in the other.
They walk a circles, clockwise then anti-clockwise.
PI
Jin is mine!
Pi throws the choppers at Kame.
Kame dodges them.
KAME
Never!
Kame throws the knives and forks at Pi.
Pi catches the knives in his teeth and the forks in his hands.
INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT
KAME
You think, between us, we’ve enough les porn to turn him straight again?
PI
He’s wavering.
Kame reaches for a chopper and threatens to slice his throat.
KAME
But I can’t take it anymore!
Throwing away the chopper, Kame kneels down and clings onto Pi’s leg.
KAME
Pi, you’ve gotta save me! Jin’s molesting me!
PI
He's raping me.
KAME
And I like it.
PI
Okay, that's it! This has to stop! We need more! More intensity!
Kame nods in agreement. His face is tear-stained and his glasses keep slipping from his nose.
PI
Let’s up our game a bit. We'll tell him our love life is suffering.
KAME
We have one?
PI
You know, the female customers who keep leaving us lewd messages.
KAME
Ah... my Kagome.
INSERT: Photo of Kame cosplaying/cross-dressing as Kagome from the Japanese manga, Inuyasha.
PI
Yes, and my Sailor Moon.
INSERT: Photo of PI cosplaying/cross-dressing Usagi Tsukino from Japanese manga, Sailor Moon.
KAME
But he doesn't care.
PI
You're right. Okay, since he worships money, I'll say our business is failing so he needs to get back into his girl-hungry mode.
KAME
But our business has peaked.
CUT TO: Number of comments (4257) to Jin’s online post on their blogshop: Girls suck. Boys do it better.
INSERT: Screen capture of comment from ‘Female-Haters-of-the-World-Unite: Join the club.’ and ‘Sweetboy16: I’ll make you a very satisfied man.’
Kame is at the window, about to jump.
KAME
There is no hope.
PI
No! I mean yes! I mean, don't!
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
OBASAN TAKKI, a rich relative of Pi's has dropped by, with a large pink luggage.
But Kame and Pi are away.
OBASAN TAKKI
Pi told me to drop by with this luggage full of cash.
JIN
Why? What for?
OBASAN TAKKI
I don’t know. I thought maybe it's a prop for one of your games. I don't know what games you kids play these days.
JIN
Maybe they're venturing into making porn. They've been making me watch marathons of them.
OBASAN TAKKI
Yeah, maybe it's a scene where you get kidnapped and that's the ransom.
JIN
And I'm naked and all tied up.
Jin and Obasan Takki look at each other.
JIN
You have nice eyes.
INT. PI'S ROOM - NIGHT
Pi and Kame are at their blogshop’s site. Pi clicks to the link on Jin's post: But obasans do it best!
CUT TO: The number of comments to that post, 78,502.
They click on a link in his post.
INT. JIN'S ROOM - NIGHT
Jin is a male dominatrix, dressed in black leather mask and G-string, wielding a whip.
Obasan Takki is naked and tied to the bed.
Jin is whipping her and pouring hot wax all over her.
OBASAN TAKKI
Itai! Itai!
Comments make me
. Thank you for reading, love you for commenting. Rewards with Obasan Takki
.
I know I promised a romance/murder mystery but it's still in the works. However, the grand opening is next? Next up, Happy Together Enjoy!
Pairing: Akame, Pin, TakkiJin
Genre: AU, Comedy
Rating: PG 13
Summary: Jin goes into a gay phase, terrorising Kame and Pi.
Disclaimer: I own JE and I'm in my delusional phase.
Note: This is in the form of a 5-minute webisode script (my very first script!). Jin, Kame and Pi are flatmates. And Pi and Kame are bespectacled geeks running a cosplay costume and accessories blogshop: The Cos-shop Boys, with Jin as their model.
Boys Do It Better
INT. JIN’S ROOM - NIGHT
JIN is clearing away some items into a box: a teddy bear, photos of him cozying up to his latest model ex-girlfriend, tiger-striped G-strings, sex toys and a necklace.
But he changes his mind and takes out the bear and necklace. Finally, he tapes the box up.
JIN
Screw girls!
INT. JIN’S ROOM - NEXT MORNING
Jin is gesturing and lip-syncing to the song, I kissed a 'boy' and I liked it, as he brushes his shoulder-length hair.
INT. KITCHEN - LUNCH TIME
KAME is busy preparing lunch when Jin comes in dressed in a tight tee that reads, ‘I Don’t Wanna Cry Alone!' and micro-shorts. Jin goes over to wash the rice.
KAME
No, you don't wash rice with detergent.
Jin moves to taste the soup then tries to add salt to it.
KAME
No, that's sugar.
Jin moves to the stove and turns a knob on it.
KAME
No!
CUT TO: Kitchen in a mess: soup and eggs everyway, pots and pans overturned.
Kame is grudgingly scrubbing the pots and pans at the basin.
JIN
I may not cook. But I can clean.
Jin moves behind Kame and envelops him from behind whilst pretending to do washing.
KAME
You’re washing my hands.
JIN
You don't like it?
KAME
It's ticklish. No, wait. I don't like it.
JIN
You have nice hands.
KAME
Really? Not too thin, too bony?
JIN
In a nice sort of way.
Kame blushes.
Jin smiles.
INT. PI'S ROOM - NIGHT
PI is busy at his desk with web management when Jin pops in with a tight t-shirt that says, 'Don’t U Ever Stop!' and micro-shorts.
JIN
Brought you your black iced coffee, shaken and stirred.
PI
Thanks.
Slighted, Jin takes to massaging Pi's shoulders.
JIN
You look tense.
Jin massages down Pi's body and when he reaches the waist, he lifts the shirt.
PI
Stop molesting me.
JIN
You don't like it?
Jin continues to massage Pi.
PI
It's ticklish. No, wait. I don't like it.
JIN
You have nice shoulders.
PI
Really? Not too broad, too beefy?
JIN
In a nice sort of way.
Pi blushes.
Jin smiles.
INT. LIVING ROOM - AFTER DINNER ON SATURDAY NGHT
Jin comes into the living room where Pi is watching lesbian porn. The coffee table is full of pussy porn titles, popcorn and potato chips.
PI
Wanna watch lesbo porn with me?
JIN
What's that?
RIS
It's cute girls on cute girls. And did I mention they're cute?
Jin sits and watches.
Kame pops in from the kitchen with more food: chocolate fondue, cupcakes and tarts.
KAME
Jin, enjoy these while you watch, ne.
INT. KITCHEN/JIN’S IMAGINATION - NIGHT
Kame and Pi, in tight white tees, are in the kitchen washing dishes.
They are washing each other’s hands in soapy water.
Then they laughingly splash water at each other until their white tees are see-through soaked.
Their eyes interlock.
INT. PI BEDROOM/JIN’S IMAGINATION - NIGHT
Kame is giving a topless Pi a back massage.
He pours massage oil all over Pi’s back.
Pi smiles.
Kame starts from the shoulders then moves down to the waist.
Then removing the towel covering the waist down…
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
PI
Kame, we need to talk. Kitchen. Now.
INT. KITCHEN/JIN’S IMAGINATION - A FEW MINUTES LATER
Pi and Kame, armed to the teeth, are doing a kungfu stare down.
Pi is armed with choppers in both hands.
Kame is clutching knives in one hand and forks in the other.
They walk a circles, clockwise then anti-clockwise.
PI
Jin is mine!
Pi throws the choppers at Kame.
Kame dodges them.
KAME
Never!
Kame throws the knives and forks at Pi.
Pi catches the knives in his teeth and the forks in his hands.
INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT
KAME
You think, between us, we’ve enough les porn to turn him straight again?
PI
He’s wavering.
Kame reaches for a chopper and threatens to slice his throat.
KAME
But I can’t take it anymore!
Throwing away the chopper, Kame kneels down and clings onto Pi’s leg.
KAME
Pi, you’ve gotta save me! Jin’s molesting me!
PI
He's raping me.
KAME
And I like it.
PI
Okay, that's it! This has to stop! We need more! More intensity!
Kame nods in agreement. His face is tear-stained and his glasses keep slipping from his nose.
PI
Let’s up our game a bit. We'll tell him our love life is suffering.
KAME
We have one?
PI
You know, the female customers who keep leaving us lewd messages.
KAME
Ah... my Kagome.
INSERT: Photo of Kame cosplaying/cross-dressing as Kagome from the Japanese manga, Inuyasha.
PI
Yes, and my Sailor Moon.
INSERT: Photo of PI cosplaying/cross-dressing Usagi Tsukino from Japanese manga, Sailor Moon.
KAME
But he doesn't care.
PI
You're right. Okay, since he worships money, I'll say our business is failing so he needs to get back into his girl-hungry mode.
KAME
But our business has peaked.
CUT TO: Number of comments (4257) to Jin’s online post on their blogshop: Girls suck. Boys do it better.
INSERT: Screen capture of comment from ‘Female-Haters-of-the-World-Unite: Join the club.’ and ‘Sweetboy16: I’ll make you a very satisfied man.’
Kame is at the window, about to jump.
KAME
There is no hope.
PI
No! I mean yes! I mean, don't!
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
OBASAN TAKKI, a rich relative of Pi's has dropped by, with a large pink luggage.
But Kame and Pi are away.
OBASAN TAKKI
Pi told me to drop by with this luggage full of cash.
JIN
Why? What for?
OBASAN TAKKI
I don’t know. I thought maybe it's a prop for one of your games. I don't know what games you kids play these days.
JIN
Maybe they're venturing into making porn. They've been making me watch marathons of them.
OBASAN TAKKI
Yeah, maybe it's a scene where you get kidnapped and that's the ransom.
JIN
And I'm naked and all tied up.
Jin and Obasan Takki look at each other.
JIN
You have nice eyes.
INT. PI'S ROOM - NIGHT
Pi and Kame are at their blogshop’s site. Pi clicks to the link on Jin's post: But obasans do it best!
CUT TO: The number of comments to that post, 78,502.
They click on a link in his post.
INT. JIN'S ROOM - NIGHT
Jin is a male dominatrix, dressed in black leather mask and G-string, wielding a whip.
Obasan Takki is naked and tied to the bed.
Jin is whipping her and pouring hot wax all over her.
OBASAN TAKKI
Itai! Itai!
Comments make me
. Thank you for reading, love you for commenting. Rewards with Obasan Takki
.
I know I promised a romance/murder mystery but it's still in the works. However, the grand opening is next? Next up, Happy Together Enjoy!