i am holding secrets again, even from the people i trust. i'm scared people will hate me for it
i hate myself for it
fuck it

So am i just unwanted ( Read more... )

I love but i cannot touch ( Read more... )

unreliable? hmmm. probably right about the brother bit
but at the min i have bigger fish to fry

i have never been scared of anything
now i am petrified

Have you ever wondered, what's in a star? Or thought you weren't yourself? Have you ever had a dream, and cried yourself back to sanity? Was there ever a time, for just a moment, maybe in a fraction of a second, where you lost control of everything, and spiralled downward, into that abyss of black, and you lost the ladder, and your losing the will ( Read more... )

This shit is getting out of hand ( Read more... )

I have these moments, on stressy days (which by hell it was, but we'll get to that)where my mind wanders, and I think of the strangest things. For instance, today i was sat on the bus, when i noticed a fly. It was casually being a fly, like a fly, fly guy (see what i mean?) when i thought "hmm, buses must be heaven for flies, they can rest their ( Read more... )

So I didn't get the job at b&q, my mum says thats a good thing, they turned me down because (and i quote) "you are too much of a free thinker for this position" FUCK ME SIDEWAYS how can you get turned down on that basis? do they think I'm going to get all radical with the pot plants? Anyway. My mum suggested I apply at mac donalds. NO. It's against ( Read more... )

This seems like de ja vu, It wasn't that long ago they were telling me my aunty had died, or thet my other grandad was dying, that i coped with, but this grandad is one of my fav people, his birthday was on mine, he helped pick my name, he advised my future, he was always there, always strong, so funny and.....everlasting ( Read more... )

Today was pretty shitty, part from i got home early again, but i went out and stuff as i do, i had interesting stuff to say but can't be bothered now. on the ride home my mum tells me my grandad is dying, he has cancer again only this time it's not good, chemo is making him very ill and the doctors say they don't think he has a chance ( Read more... )