Forced grooming

Apr 05, 2013 14:36

So angry right now. One of the autism spectrum communities I belong to had a post from a 'concerned parent' who is trying to get some advice on getting her 15 year old daughter on the spectrum to shave her legs and care about fixing her hair. Why, why why for the love of all that is holy would you force someone who has sensory issues to shave their ( Read more... )

being different, parents

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Comments 29

pklemica April 6 2013, 03:07:58 UTC
I'm a functioning adult member of society - a teacher - and I have not shaved my legs since I was a teen; stopped shaving my armpits over 2 years ago. Mostly, people do not notice. My mom and sister give me crap about it constantly, but it's never given me trouble anywhere else. It has not affected my employment. It has not affected my social status. Yeah, maybe I would not fit in with certain high-maintenance/image-focused circles, considering I haven't gotten a haircut in nearing 4 years either (I just trim the split ends myself... occasionally). But you know what? I'm never gonna fit in with those people, no matter how I look ( ... )

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mermaid88 April 6 2013, 03:16:35 UTC
Useless Related Fact: i believe, in victorian times, ladies who didnt shave were socially sexy ( ... )

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ertla April 6 2013, 06:15:02 UTC
I'm curious what rock this woman is living under that she believes that females are still expected to shave their legs. You shave your legs if and only if you wear skirts - and even then only if the skirts aren't long enough to conceal your legs ( ... )

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ertla April 6 2013, 13:51:36 UTC
*blink* The only reason for shaved legs is pantyhose/stockings. Shorts aren't worn with stockings.

And truthfully, if her classmates are picking on her for appearance, and that's what her mother cares about, you'd think she'd have started there, not presumed that the only solution was to dress the kid like a supermarket manikin, and enforce that appearance by punishment.

Mom needs her feminist consciousness raised. She also needs to decide whether she wants a daughter or a manikin. Because this sounds like she's doing her unconscious best to produce depression and low self esteem. Those tend to lead to unpleasant places - but perhaps mom will be less ashamed if her daughter runs away, commits suicide, takes up self-hating promiscuity, etc. Just so long as she looks "normal". Or perhaps just so long as she isn't in Mom's sight.

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fredtheguava April 6 2013, 22:49:32 UTC
I'm confused - are you stating your opinion as a fact, here? I'm an aspie and strongly prefer the feeling of shaved legs to non-shaved in every situation: legs out or not. I shave regularly and NEVER wear skirts. I don't think the *only* reason to shave is that. It's personal preference, surely.

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satie_danser April 6 2013, 20:13:05 UTC
"In animals, 'over-grooming' is a pathological condition. In Homo sapiens, the celebrated high-end of normality." --Joyce Carol Oates

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arathian April 7 2013, 00:35:53 UTC
So "normal"= mentally fucked up? Sounds about right to me.

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spikeyannie April 8 2013, 02:37:23 UTC
I dunno. I kinda wish my mom had held me down and attacked my legs with a razor...it would've saved me from being called "monkey legs" by the other kids on the soccer team in sixth grade.

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