It also can be affected by our sensory systems. Some of us are cravers... I am. I really feel I need to be hugged, sometimes. One of my sons and my daughter is like this, also. One son can only tolerate firm big hugs. Little ones irritate him, and don't stroke him lightly. It hurts.
My bf said he never could handle being touched on several places on his body, but found suprisingly that I can touch him anywhere and he is fine about it. And we got together in our mid-50's, so it's not like it's something that we just found out as kids or something. It's something that's been life long for him, and also I think it's because I am so used to my oldest son needing firm touches, that it is the only way that I touch my bf, as well.
I have friends on the spectrum who find hugs painful, no matter if they are bear hugs or gentle, no matter if they are expected or from loved ones, or not.
My sister loves giving - and receiving - hugs. I hate being hugged. It's worse when someone comes up to me and hugs me without a fair amount of warning. There are some people - ie, my family and a few close friends - who I can take hugs from, but I still tense up.
I'm a very tactile person - for good or for bad. Hugging, especially without warning, disrupts that and there are few things that bother me more. I think it depends on the person, though.
I have a very hard time with kissing. Hugging has to be in the moment, or in a called for kind of moment. I can usually tell when a moment calls for a hug though...and I'm not a touchy-feely person most of the time.....just my family and closest friends.
I love those things! I also tend to sleep with three or more blankets, which requires running the A/C, even when it's in the 40's (Fahrenheit) outside. Just one blanket is so uncomfortable in a way I can't really explain; it's just horrible. I always have to bring at least my two heaviest blankets anytime I have to stay at a hotel.
i can only comfortably hug my immediate family. all my female intimates that i've had, including my wife of 22 years, have said i kiss poorly. but as for my wife and, i confess it, even more so my 4 younger children (my oldest is 19 and i'm no longer comfortable hugging her) -- i can't get enough hugs, ever.
and supposedly i'm a good hugger. also a great cuddler.
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My bf said he never could handle being touched on several places on his body, but found suprisingly that I can touch him anywhere and he is fine about it. And we got together in our mid-50's, so it's not like it's something that we just found out as kids or something. It's something that's been life long for him, and also I think it's because I am so used to my oldest son needing firm touches, that it is the only way that I touch my bf, as well.
I have friends on the spectrum who find hugs painful, no matter if they are bear hugs or gentle, no matter if they are expected or from loved ones, or not.
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I'm a very tactile person - for good or for bad. Hugging, especially without warning, disrupts that and there are few things that bother me more. I think it depends on the person, though.
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I love those things! I also tend to sleep with three or more blankets, which requires running the A/C, even when it's in the 40's (Fahrenheit) outside. Just one blanket is so uncomfortable in a way I can't really explain; it's just horrible. I always have to bring at least my two heaviest blankets anytime I have to stay at a hotel.
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and supposedly i'm a good hugger. also a great cuddler.
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