do we give the best hugs?
The title doesn't quite say it all, so bear with me.
Hmm. How to begin... well, I'm a 20-year-old Aspie guy, diagnosed at 13, going to college, studying German, doing well, dating an amazing Aspie woman (who actually got me to join this community in the first place) as of four months ago. We've been friends for about six years, but that's another story for another time.
You know those big bear hugs where you hold the person close and it's just perfect and your whole heart goes into it? Yeah, I like those hugs.
I wasn't always very good about hugging or being hugged, though. I had a friend in high school who gave the worst hugs. They felt condescending somehow, like she was granting me some great favor by hugging me, rather than what it should have been, an expression of mutual affection between friends. I'm pretty sure she didn't mean it that way, but she never really put any effort or heart into the hugs.
What's worse, I would often react badly if hugged without warning. It's probably no coincidence that my two best friends ever (one of whom is now my girlfriend) are both Aspies and give the best hugs I've ever experienced. The other good hugger I know is a good friend and the mother of one of my Aspie friends - I think she's NT, but I honestly don't know, she's enigmatic.
Why is that? Do Aspies give good hugs because it's harder to get us to hug?
Hmm. How to begin... well, I'm a 20-year-old Aspie guy, diagnosed at 13, going to college, studying German, doing well, dating an amazing Aspie woman (who actually got me to join this community in the first place) as of four months ago. We've been friends for about six years, but that's another story for another time.
You know those big bear hugs where you hold the person close and it's just perfect and your whole heart goes into it? Yeah, I like those hugs.
I wasn't always very good about hugging or being hugged, though. I had a friend in high school who gave the worst hugs. They felt condescending somehow, like she was granting me some great favor by hugging me, rather than what it should have been, an expression of mutual affection between friends. I'm pretty sure she didn't mean it that way, but she never really put any effort or heart into the hugs.
What's worse, I would often react badly if hugged without warning. It's probably no coincidence that my two best friends ever (one of whom is now my girlfriend) are both Aspies and give the best hugs I've ever experienced. The other good hugger I know is a good friend and the mother of one of my Aspie friends - I think she's NT, but I honestly don't know, she's enigmatic.
Why is that? Do Aspies give good hugs because it's harder to get us to hug?