The 21st Century -- not everything changes!

[ask_arealdoctor]

I can cure Thager syndrome and Zyth plague. I have treatments for 13 out of 16 known strains of Space Herpes. I have diagnostic equipment that won't be invented for centuries, and medicines from several galaxies

Comments

[gwen_e_cooper]

I'm sorry, Martha!

I'd bet you picked up a virus in line at Starbucks yesterday, with the jostling and people putting their coughed-on fingers all over the wooden drink stirrers. :o(

[ask_arealdoctor]

Thank you, Gwennie. You're probably right. The incubation period for the common cold varies between 10 hours and 5 days, depending on the strain of rhinovirus...

oh, bloody hell. You don't want to hear about that, do you? I'm babbling. You don't happen to have a cardigan or something in your locker, do you? I feel so chilly. But I don't have a fever. I think I need more Lemsip.

I'm babbling again. I'll shut up now.

[gwen_e_cooper]

Oh, sweetheart! I have a nice cardie you can wear, but I can do you one better.

Do you want a blanket burrito? There are some fresh duvets on top of the dryer.

We could wrap you and put you next to Ianto on Jack's four poster down the hole. It's a tempurpedic bed so you won't wake up when Max jumps on it.

[ask_arealdoctor]

Oooh, warm duvet yes please!

I don't want to infect Ianto, so I think I'll just curl up here. I'd go home, but I'd rather stay here with you, if that's all right. And I'm not going down to my futon in the garage because John keeps asking, "ARE YOU SICK, MARTHA? YOU'RE ALL OVER SNOT. CAN I LICK IT?"

Which... no.

[ask_captainjack]

PS: I have a bottle of homeopathic remedy. It's cilantro diluted by 90 parts water. It will cure you in 5 to 7 days, Martha!

[ask_arealdoctor]

LOL! Thank you, Jack. And I have a bridge to sell you. Cheap! ;)

[taffimai]

Oh, poor Martha! Feel better soon!

[ask_arealdoctor]

Thank you, Taffi. I appreciate it!

There's nothing more pathetic than a sick doctor. LOL!

[taffimai]

But we love you, even when you're sick and pathetic.

There's a package being delivered from the bakery to the tourist office for you and Ianto with a dozen of these:

[ask_arealdoctor]

Oh, thank you! Those look delicious.

[bone_lady]

Hope its not swine flu...ick. Plenty of rest, Pimm's for decongestant, whiskey to clear the lungs, you've got the honey lemon tea so you're ready!

Oh..an occasional screwdriver can't harm either. Vitamin C does wonders.

HEY! I learned this from my great-gran. I usually don't take OTC drugs for the common cold. It's useless. Hope you feel better.

[ask_arealdoctor]

No alcohol. No alcohol! Just tea and Lemsip and chicken soup. Thanks, though!

It's not swine flu. I have chest congestion and no fever, so it can't be a flu.

[ask_captainjack]

IF IT'S FLU I HAVE PLASTIC WRAP TO SWADDLE YOU IN, MARTHA!

[ask_arealdoctor]

IT IS NOT THE FLU. Please don't wrap me in plastic! I'm happy in my duvet. :(

[ask_aboutcoffee]

Martha! :(

I would bring you soup and other things to make you feel better, but I'm semi-conscious at best.

Between the two of us, if aliens invade today Torchwood is fucked, isn't it?

[ask_arealdoctor]

Too right! "Torchwood is ready", my pert black arse. "Torchwood is sick as a dog", more like it.

I'm having chicken soup delivered (more than enough for us to share), though, and Taffi Mai is sending fairy cakes, so I think we're covered.

[gwen_e_cooper]

I HAVE IT UNDER CONTROL, YOU TWO.

I've done a weevil sweep, even. I didn't find any in the sewers this morning but I found Hart's alien tech stash down there (for eBay).

I've brought them up in some laundry baskets and will hose them off later.

[ask_aboutcoffee]

Don't give Gwen any more caffeine, anybody!