About our visitor

[ask_arealdoctor]

Attention all Torchwood 3 team members, friends and associates:

We are about to have a very special visitor named Jenny. There are a couple of things about her that I'd like to make clear, and I'd appreciate it if you'd take my concerns into consideration. FOR A CHANGE

Comments

[pure_morning_8]

I wish you the best of luck trying to control the boys. I imagine you're going to need it...

[ask_arealdoctor]

Thank you very much indeed. I know it's a lost cause, and I need all the good wishes I can get.

[ask_captainjack]

We're not sex-crazed fiends. I like to think of us as sex-crazed friends.

[ask_aboutcoffee]

You know you're just encouraging Hart to "inform" her. But I'll keep an eye on him. You're going to give yourself an ulcer one of these days, Martha.

We can flirt with her though, right? Like...training wheels!

[ask_arealdoctor]

This is why I want her to stay at my flat, and was hoping to keep her away from the Hub for the most part. I want to do the "informing" myself in a way that won't cause her distress.

By the way, you screaming CONDOMS did not help!

Yes, you can flirt with her, as long as you keep it at the "training wheels" level. I'm trusting you, Ianto, to help me protect her. I know that underneath the cynical Evil Overlord exterior there is a caring man.

As for the rest of them, it's like herding bloody cats.

[ask_aboutcoffee]

Shouting Condoms can't not help! She might not know what they are but she'll bloody well know to shout about them now. Abstience-only education doesn't work!

Of course I will help protect her, though from the sound of it I'm not sure how much protecting she'll need. All part of the plan for world domination to keep Torchwood running smoothly.

[ask_arealdoctor]

You know me better than to think I'm going to preach abstinence-only. Frankly, I have no idea how her reproductive or immune systems work. I don't even know if she has a libido. I'm going to ask her a few questions about what she already knows, and give her a rundown of basic human sexuality of both the 21st and 51st century variety, so she knows what to expect.

THEN I'm going to give her condoms and remind her to kick John in the balls if he so much as breathes on her.

[ask_captainjack]

tl;dr

She's old enough to go to war, she's old enough to have a drink with me. You should write an angry letter to her telling HER to not seduce me!

Look at those bedroom eyes. I feel I'm being seduced, Martha.

Where's the: "Appreciate Jack from a distance, I know he is Teh Sex" post for Jenny?

[askmydad]

But I went to war the minute I

Sorry, Martha. This is going to be most difficult for me. I'll have to come up with some BRILLIANT euphemisms, won't I?

[ask_arealdoctor]

You're doing fine, honey.

[ask_arealdoctor]

It wasn't an "angry" letter, Jack. I'm sorry it was so brusque, but after the fiasco when I tried to keep the spoilers under wraps I felt rather a bit frustrated with all of you.

Plus, I feel somewhat responsible for Jenny. You, I know, are capable of resisting seduction on your own, not that you've ever bothered.

[oh_doask]

She's a blonde, Martha.

[ask_arealdoctor]

I know. Oh, God, I know.

[rednwhiterose]

What's that drug that's given to sex offenders to kill there sexual urges? I'm sure you could acquire some for Hart.

Just a thought.

[gwen_e_cooper]

Saltpeter?

It doesn't work on 51st century blokes. Just Sandhurst cadets.

:o(

[rednwhiterose]

Martha is a doctor and, I'm sure, rather creative. She could come up with something.

P.S. Your sad face is sooooo cute. :0)

[gwen_e_cooper]

*hugs*

Jack hates my sad face. It makes him use his sad face in return (when he's not making light of my feelings/concerns).