About our visitor
Attention all Torchwood 3 team members, friends and associates:
We are about to have a very special visitor named Jenny. There are a couple of things about her that I'd like to make clear, and I'd appreciate it if you'd take my concerns into consideration. FOR A CHANGE.
First, part of our mandate at Torchwood 3 is to protect the current timeline. We all know the consequences of mucking up timelines. For that reason, please please please PLEASE don't press Jenny about her personal history. I know you're all inquisitive by nature -- it's part of our job and part of your charm -- but it's very important that you contain your curiosity this once. You're all very intelligent, highly trained agents and I have the greatest confidence that you'll be able to do this. Oh God PLEASE.
Jenny, if you're reading this -- and I know you are, cheeky monkey! -- please do your best to avoid sharing too much about your personal history and familial relations. Also, please consider the journal of askfor_bananas to be off limits to you. I know you're curious, but I also know you understand the need for security of timelines.
From your communications with Jenny so far, you've noticed that she's a unique individual. She's an extremely competent, resourceful young woman of astonishing intelligence. Nevertheless, surely you've noted that she has an innocent, trusting nature. One reason for this is that, despite her mature appearance, she has in fact been alive for a very short time and has had limited contact with Earth-based humans and offshoots thereof from any century whatsoever including the 51st THIS MEANS YOU JACK AND JOHN. For practical purposes, she is to be considered a child. She is not yet capable of informed consent. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT SO DON'T PRETEND YOU DON'T AND THIS GOES DOUBLE FOR JACK AND TRIPLE FOR JOHN. I am taking personal responsibility for her safety and will enforce it by any means necessary.
Oh hell, sometimes you're all willfully ignorant and you'll consider this a challenge, so I may as well spell it out in small words: ANYONE WHO TRIES TO SEDUCE OR HAVE ANY FORM OF SEXUAL CONTACT WITH JENNY WILL ANSWER TO ME AND YOU ALL KNOW WHAT I'M CAPABLE OF SO DON'T EVEN TRY. THIS GOES DOUBLE FOR JACK AND TRIPLE FOR JOHN.
In addition, for your personal safety (because I do care about you no matter what you might think), let me inform you that Jenny is a highly trained former soldier. She has extensive knowledge of weapons use and hand-to-hand combat. In situations of stress or personal danger, she may revert to her instincts and beat the shit out of you. In other words, let's all do our best to keep John from sexually assaulting her. Yes, I know; we all think it would be great fun to watch a little blonde girl beat the shit out of John, and quite likely John would consider it fun as well, but do let's consider Jenny's feelings in all this.
This is all pretty much locking the barn door after the animals have escaped, but let's pretend we're competent agents and responsible adults. FOR A CHANGE.
We are about to have a very special visitor named Jenny. There are a couple of things about her that I'd like to make clear, and I'd appreciate it if you'd take my concerns into consideration. FOR A CHANGE.
First, part of our mandate at Torchwood 3 is to protect the current timeline. We all know the consequences of mucking up timelines. For that reason, please please please PLEASE don't press Jenny about her personal history. I know you're all inquisitive by nature -- it's part of our job and part of your charm -- but it's very important that you contain your curiosity this once. You're all very intelligent, highly trained agents and I have the greatest confidence that you'll be able to do this. Oh God PLEASE.
Jenny, if you're reading this -- and I know you are, cheeky monkey! -- please do your best to avoid sharing too much about your personal history and familial relations. Also, please consider the journal of askfor_bananas to be off limits to you. I know you're curious, but I also know you understand the need for security of timelines.
From your communications with Jenny so far, you've noticed that she's a unique individual. She's an extremely competent, resourceful young woman of astonishing intelligence. Nevertheless, surely you've noted that she has an innocent, trusting nature. One reason for this is that, despite her mature appearance, she has in fact been alive for a very short time and has had limited contact with Earth-based humans and offshoots thereof from any century whatsoever including the 51st THIS MEANS YOU JACK AND JOHN. For practical purposes, she is to be considered a child. She is not yet capable of informed consent. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT SO DON'T PRETEND YOU DON'T AND THIS GOES DOUBLE FOR JACK AND TRIPLE FOR JOHN. I am taking personal responsibility for her safety and will enforce it by any means necessary.
Oh hell, sometimes you're all willfully ignorant and you'll consider this a challenge, so I may as well spell it out in small words: ANYONE WHO TRIES TO SEDUCE OR HAVE ANY FORM OF SEXUAL CONTACT WITH JENNY WILL ANSWER TO ME AND YOU ALL KNOW WHAT I'M CAPABLE OF SO DON'T EVEN TRY. THIS GOES DOUBLE FOR JACK AND TRIPLE FOR JOHN.
In addition, for your personal safety (because I do care about you no matter what you might think), let me inform you that Jenny is a highly trained former soldier. She has extensive knowledge of weapons use and hand-to-hand combat. In situations of stress or personal danger, she may revert to her instincts and beat the shit out of you. In other words, let's all do our best to keep John from sexually assaulting her. Yes, I know; we all think it would be great fun to watch a little blonde girl beat the shit out of John, and quite likely John would consider it fun as well, but do let's consider Jenny's feelings in all this.
This is all pretty much locking the barn door after the animals have escaped, but let's pretend we're competent agents and responsible adults. FOR A CHANGE.