the-wife-of-the-guy-whose-sperm-is-about-to-become-the-infant-of-a-lesbian

[ask_captainjack]

Dear Captain Jack,

Here I was, living in the first few years of the twenty-first century, and feeling really good about how all-inclusive we were all being. I mean, men and women, men and men, women and women, dogs and cats, it all seemed so wonderful and idyllic.

But now I find I'm in a Miss Manners Etiquette Quandary from Hell. Only Captain Jack

Comments

[gwen_e_cooper]

I'm sure it's a lovely shade, chariot!

I used to use Garnier Nutrisse shinifier, but now I just stand too close to the subetheric resonator and... BLAMMO! Shiny.

[phaetonschariot]

Damn, now I want a subetheric resonator. I promise I wouldn't sniff it.

[ask_captainjack]

Ianto's really touchy about the resonator.

He polishes it if we stand too close!

[phaetonschariot]

I hear they're very finicky.

Though, to be fair, he's probably thinking about things you've stood too close to in the past. Particularly times it's made the world nearly end, or something get dirty.

[gwen_e_cooper]

I don't do it when he's looking.

He gets agitated and his fists clench. I'm not sure if it's concern or angsty rage.

[ask_captainjack]

I love how he wears the thin black leather gloves when he does the polishing. Very hot.

Weird, but hot.

[gwen_e_cooper]

Keeps the Brasso off his digits. Or so he claims.

They smell interesting too. Not that I'd sniff Ianto's gloves.

But I've sniffed Ianto's gloves.

[ask_captainjack]

I'm always sniffing Ianto's things. It's totally normal!

Except for the resonator. I don't sniff the resonator, Ianto.

[ask_aboutcoffee]

That's right you don't.