Um... help?

[ask_arealdoctor]

Sorry to interrupt, but if anyone's around could you possibly come down to the morgue? That noise you're hearing is all the LOCKED drawers slamming open and there are dead people crawling out and I'm trying to push them all back in and pile things against the doors but I'm running out of chairs and boxes and HOW MANY DEAD PEOPLE ARE DOWN HERE

Comments

[ask_captainjack]

We didn't have a Myfanwy when Alex was in charge.

He was strict. In a sexy way. Funny story, he wouldn't let us have a goldfish.

I know, can you believe it?

So, I was on him every day, "Alex, for fuck's sake can't we have a

SHIT IANTO DUCK!

[ask_aboutcoffee]

I KNOW

THERE ARE FIVE OF THEM

WTF UNDEAD DUCKS, JACK

[gwen_e_cooper]

I feel bad about stomping undead ducks. :o(

These were NEW STILETTO BOOTS.

[ask_captainjack]

NOW IS NO TIME FOR COMPASSION

SAVE YOUR COMPASSION FOR THE FREAKS, GWEN

DON'T LET THE DUCKS BEAK YOU!

[gwen_e_cooper]

RIGHT. DIE, YOU BASTARD MALLARDS!

[ask_aboutcoffee]

THE DUCKS ARE OUT FOR BLOOD! Show no mercy!

Those are hot boots, though.

[gwen_e_cooper]

Thanks! Nice, huh? Patent!

[ask_aboutcoffee]

Prada? Did you get them at that

OH HEY DONNA, THAT WAS MY THIGH

[ask_captainjack]

IANTO!

DID HER TEETH PENETRATE YOUR TAUT THIGH!?

[ask_aboutcoffee]

NO BUT HER FINGERNAILS ARE UNPLEASANT

PLEASE DO NOT SET ME ON FIRE JACK

[ask_captainjack]

SORRY! I'm trying to burn her to death (re-death)

WITHOUT BURNING YOU!

WIGGLE SOME FLESH SO THAT SHE'LL TURN MY WAY AND I GET GET HER IN THE FACE (with bullets)

[ask_aboutcoffee]

I'm trying but she's freakishly strong!

OH THIS IS SO GROSS.

[ask_captainjack]

GOOD!

KEEP WIGGLING!

YOU'RE AMAZING AT DISTRACTING OLDER WOMEN!

[ask_aboutcoffee]

SHE'S NOT OLDER

SHE'S UNDEAD!

Thank you though.

Okay, on three, I'm going to bend over and you let her have it. Aim for the cleavage! READY?

[ask_captainjack]

YES LET'S DO THIS THING!

[ask_aboutcoffee]

THREE

TWO

ONE

FLAMETHROW!