Technology Tuesday!

[ask_aboutcoffee]

As some of you may know, the Apple iPhone upgraded its operating system this past week. I normally wouldn't be this much of a tech-head, but I inherited Tosh's after she died. It occurred to me that I ought to review some of the proprietary Torchwood apps that a Top-Secret Government Agency offers:

WeevilTrack

Comments

[ask_arealdoctor]

OW OW OW OW OW I need a tetnus shot and a rabies series and a blood test OW OW OW

DON'T HURT HER! IT'S NOT HER FAULT!

OW OW OW OW

[ask_aboutcoffee]

Sentient beings take responsibility for their actions!

Hold still, I'm going to put a tourniquet on your leg. There goes another tie...

Sorry, right. Can you treat yourself or do I need to take you to A&E?

[ask_arealdoctor]

Can you get me upstairs to my med bay? I can stitch myself, really I can!

Janet! HOW COULD YOU?

[ask_aboutcoffee]

Of course. Would you prefer to limp heroically or be dramatically carried?

She's a weevil. It's what she does! Sneakier than most, I grant you.

[ask_arealdoctor]

Um, kind of half and half, I think would be best... let me lean on you and we'll see how it goes.

Janet is a rude, nasty person!

OW OW OW OW

[ask_aboutcoffee]

Sure thing. Alley-oop!

I know her rudeness doesn't excuse medical experiments, Martha, but we definitely have her in the cells for a reason. No vivisection, though, I promise.

Look, you're bleeding fairly heavily, and I've always wanted to dramatically carry someone across the Hub. What do you say?

[ask_arealdoctor]

IthinkthatwouldbeagoodideathankyouverymuchOWOWOWOW

[ask_aboutcoffee]

Brilliant!

Well, not for you, obviously.

Here we go!

HEY JACK, LOOK! VERY HEROIC, RIGHT?

[ask_captainjack]

:-(

I was hoping your first dramatic carry would be me!

[ask_aboutcoffee]

Jack. Don't take this the wrong way, but -- well, one, I kind of did, during that whole Abbadon thing.

Two, you're much larger than Martha, and I don't want to strain something.

[ask_arealdoctor]

Three, I'M THE ONE WHO'S BLEEDING HERE.

Jack, don't you want to be heroic and caring and hold my hand or mop my brow or look concerned or something?

[ask_captainjack]

ABSOLUTELY.

I'm great at calming down hysterical men and women.

BE CALM, MARTHA. BE SOOTHED!

I used to say the same thing to my men during the war as I massaged their shoulders in the trenches.

[ask_arealdoctor]

Yes, you've told me that. Often! I feel very soothed that you have so much experience in soothing.

Did I ever tell you I met Shakespeare? LOL!

[gwen_e_cooper]

Oh, you did!

Jack, Ianto had you in a fireman's carry, rather than a Gone With The Wind carry. Arse up.

I remember seeing that through my tears.

[ask_captainjack]

REALLY? Wow, you did a good job of neatly zipping me into that body bag.

It just occurred to me that I never carried you over a threshold. I'm going to carry you down the ladder tonight.

FIREMAN'S CARRY, I'm fantastic at this. Have you seen me heft a Weevil? I have broad, gorgeous shoulders.

[ask_aboutcoffee]

As charming and romantic as that sounds, Jack, I don't think a concussion is a good way to end the night. Why don't we just have a nice dinner instead?