(Untitled)

[apiphile]

Today has been lousy and I don't know why. The only identifiably sub-optimal thing that's happened is my attempt at dying a vest didn't work because it turns out that by "polyester/viscose blend" the label means "polyester garment made in the same factory as viscose once was

Comments

[wolfy_writing]

You have mentioned several perfectly good reasons to have a bad day. Like it's not hopelessly bad, and things will get better, but if right now is crap, it's still reasonable to be all "I feel like crap right now

[apiphile]

I have noticed incidentally that WHEN THE SUN GOES DOWN the day IMMEDIATELY BECOMES SHIT and now the light is here perhaps I should turn it on? (THANKING)

Like are you worried people wouldn't understand, or wouldn't care, or talking about it would make it feel worse, or something completely different I haven't even guessed?It's this thing like there's not going to be immediate and visceral understanding from people who don't experience it, but most of the people I know who DID experience it are people who have transitioned and that opens the whole can of inelegant "I will become POWERFULLY ANGRY WITH YOU for 'stealing' my good luck and 'winning' a thing I ought to have" etc etc being crazy sucks. It's mostly a question of finding someone who also experiences dysphoria who speaks my language who I can trust not to be annoying ... hahha

[wolfy_writing]

Yes, using the light to not feel overwhelmingly miserable would be good.

Yeah, that sounds like a complicated situation. I can see how it would be hard finding the right person to talk about it with. (Like I'd be happy to listen, but I suspect I'd be unhelpful.)

Didn't you get firebombed during the Blitz? And wasn't there the big terrorist bombing? And riots like a year ago? That's not the collapse of civilization, but it's not nothing either. There's been strife and death on the streets, and there's no rule demanding it be at nation-toppling intensity.

[apiphile]

I AM ON IT. You will be pleased to hear that I just reacted to "I'm so tired and I regret my life choices" with INTO THE BEDROOM WITH THE LIZARD LAMP, MOTHERFUCKER

Well another of my friends has just popped up to say they have the same issue I whined about on Tumblr and ... that is good? I mean it's bad that they have the issue but good that I'm not a "throw stones at the freak" level outsider.

That always comes to naught though! We've been unpleasantly stable for ages. I guess at the time it feels like this, though.