(Untitled)

[apiphile]

Some things.

1. Lots of talk elsewhere about the Harry Potter Generation, which I am not part of. Since the first book came out in mid-97, when I was 14 going on 15, I was pretty much guaranteed to be uninterested even if I had heard about it, which I didn't, on account of being locked up in school miles from any form of press on the subject with

Comments

[apiphile]

these statements make me feel like I am no-one

Me too. I find it unpleasant and exclusionary even from people whose "community" I am ostensibly a part of, and start rejecting the labels just so that I don't have to be associated with that kind of behaviour. I mean, I love Pride Parades! I like rights! I am a big fan of not being beaten up for liking pussy! I would like to see more lezzers on TV! I don't want to have it taken for granted that I am going to automatically support someone or approve of them or like them just because we both have and dig the flange.

[coniferous_you]

I find that a lot of the capital C communities I'm familiar with (although not in the same context you mentioned, so I don't know) are about affixing labels.

"Hey! Welcome to the meeting of _______ interest or other thing. I'm a _____ _____ _____ ____ _____ _____ _____"

And then it goes on like that forever, with the blanks standing in for the labels.

If small c community is just people who are forced by school or work to be around each other, I like that more.

Age cohorts are (only) useful if you're studying them in some kind of longitudinal research. But it's nice to see some rhetoric that seeks to unite rather than divide, however inane the reason for union is.

[apiphile]

Labels are very important to them, yes, it's part of creating an identity through difference/similarity, which I really cannot be doing with. People are not a selection of building blocks and labels.

If small c community is just people who are forced by school or work to be around each other, I like that more.

Ain't socialising with those people. I don't *have* to be friends with anyone.

[coniferous_you]

Friends, no. I am not one to talk about friends, really. I just prefer bonding on projects rather than "hi I am ____"

[wolfy_writing]

2. possibly in relation, people's PRIDE posts in the sense of I AM X AND I AM PROUD OF WHAT I AM COMMUNITY COMMUNITY COMMUNITY CULTURE CULTURE have a weird effect; because I don't feel a sense of "us against the world" because, uh, well ... everyone is a backstabbing bastard regardless of whether we like the same genitals or have the same skin colour ... I feel a bit "huh why would you", then remember previous explanations/arguments put forward (it's just YOU who feels like this, NORMAL PEOPLE like to feel a part of something, it's YOUR FAULT [I appreciated that, btw, it's good to know that even the people closest to you hate you], you think you're better than everyone else) and just end up feeling isolated and shitty again; what I mean is that indirectly and through no fault of their own anyone doing a big I AM X AND I AM PROUD OF X AND I FEEL GOOD TO BE PART OF X COMMUNITY ends with me feeling like I have no one and am too weird to be allowed anyone. GOOD TIMES.That sucks. People like different things, and "Doesn't get the warm

[apiphile]

The problem is tribal identity is one of those deep-down human things that everyone just kind of expects, so it's a lot harder for anyone to shake off the "no, this person doesn't want to be One Of Us" without feeling slighted.

Especially since group connection is one of those occasionally-useful tools like obedience, which can be used to pull people together to accomplish good things, or to connect people in order to enable really nasty things.

Mobs! Crowd behaviour! There are five of us so now we'll beat the shit out of this guy!

[wolfy_writing]

The problem is tribal identity is one of those deep-down human things that everyone just kind of expects, so it's a lot harder for anyone to shake off the "no, this person doesn't want to be One Of Us" without feeling slighted.

Yeah, but there's a difference between "My instincts mean I'm going to feel a certain degree of hurt, even when I recognize it's irrational" and "My instincts mean I'm going to feel a certain degree of hurt, so it's okay for me to tell you that you're fundamentally defective and a terrible person."

Mobs! Crowd behaviour! There are five of us so now we'll beat the shit out of this guy!

Exactly.

[apiphile]

Hence why I distrust groupthink, kicking parties, and mobbing. I mean, a fundamental part of not being a fucktard is rising above basic instinctual behaviour, both for me ("argh untrustworthy kick it very hard and then run") and for the mobminded ("it doesn't conform kill it with sticks"), but ultimately one of us has a persistent social representation as The Right Thing and one of us doesn't.

[apiphile]

I genuinely had little contact with pop culture as well, so my touchstones aside from music were anything between 10 and 50 years out of date, and there were long periods where I didn't have regular access to TV.

Obviously some people are into it, but I can't get past "I like you specific people with whom I share some traits" without feeling pretty fucking self-congratulatory.

Yup.

But a lot of group bonding behaviours make me kind of uncomfortable to be honest.

They lead to bad places. Tribalism may be "natural" but it also takes people into fights and bullshit and bullying.

[violin_road]

Oh man, I am totally of ~the Harry Potter generation~ and I've read all the books and what-not and I try to be enthused for the sake of other people, but basically aside from book 2¹ I have little to no interest in the whole thing, and feeling like I'm a giant buzzkill on all my friends is exhausting.

HOWEVER, in the spirit of COMMUNITY, I will tell you that I took a shit a few days ago that has left me regretting EVERYTHING because oh god, my ass.

¹ barely-pubescent girl's diary/imaginary best friend turns out to be EVIL INCARNATE? and also hot? SIGN ME UP.

[apiphile]

Yeah spent a while in the fandom and it was nice but I lost interest and lost interest HARD and now I cannot seem to regain it no matter what happens, and I just don't care about the characters any more, not even Remus or Sirius. :(

I HEAR SO MUCH ABOUT PEOPLE'S DUMPS. {I did actually have another post planned about levels of intimacy and so on but that can wait, it boiled down to "I have no trouble with any content, only with tone"}