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[apiphile]

Comments

[buhfly]

Haha, I had this whole long thing I was going to post about the core of my Death Issues, but I bored myself so I deleted it.

I do not often deal with death. I don't mean it doesn't happen around me often, I mean that HOW I DEAL WITH IT is by not dealing with it. Like if I look at it full in the face, I start to feel cracks forming and idk if what's in there is normal grief or something screaming, so I look away. It took me 3 years to talk about my grandfather at all, even just mentioning him in conversation. I just pretend it's not happening because I can't deal and then once Time has dulled the edges, I can examine it calmly and it won't hurt me.

Also, I have a fear of dead bodies, which is actually wrapped up in the same Core Issue, but whatevs.

ANYWAY, I GUESS I DON'T HAVE A POINT, I WAS JUST SHARING. I wish deaths didn't have to hurt so much for everyone who gets to stay alive.

[glowering]

I know what you mean, I have had similar thought progression. It's the irreversible thing. How you can get so close to death and still come back from it, but once you've crossed that line, it's done. In my brain it's always analogous to playing hide and seek. You hide and hide and the seeker can come within millimetres of seeing you, and still walk away and it means nothing, but if they've seen even the tip of your finger, that's it, you're finished. Slightly different scale, of course, but it's the graph of it that fascinates me.

[apiphile]

yes, that exactly. do go through the comments and read attack_womb's poem, I think it sums it up nicely.

[glowering]

Aye aye, cap'n.