[fic] This is possibly the laziest fic ever written.

[apiphile]

Title: Mean Deviation
Fandom: MCR, TU (Peeniverse)
Word Count: 10,375
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Dan/Bob/Jepha
Warnings: IT'S PEENIVERSE. WORK IT OUT YOURSELF.
Disclaimer: This didn't happen in real life, we'd have heard about Frank.
Notes: Jess: that's a peenapple upsidedown fic.
Puns aside: this is a sequel to We Are Bad News and Modern Alchemy,

Comments

[plum177]

You broke my brain with sexytiems and then stomped on my heart with that last bit and HOW DO YOU FUCKING DO THIS?!?!

Beginning with what I said on Twitter, how did you know that exactly what I wanted right now was a blushing Bob in cute pj pants and a hoodie? I didn't even know that's what I wanted until he turned up and then it was exactly right.

FRECKLES! *glee* I know he hates them, but OMGuh freckles mmmmmmmmmm!

I am sexy Bob Bryar who is very sexy - a) YES he is, and he should know that, and b) I have been subject to nearly the same thing as the Dan treatment, except with less sexytiems, and it ended Badly and with lots of me crying. I get how much this hurts Bob to say. Poor Bob. *snuggles*

And then the sexytiems and ohgodsGUH!

Ending with wavery 'oops that was a bad idea becuse even though it sounded okay in my head the reality of it just HURTS' Frank, and Guilty guilty Bob and OW!You just like taking chunks out of people and messing with emotions, I know you do, you've said it before, and it's like this delicious burn-y

[apiphile]

Mostly by being really good at thinking through the consequences of everyone's actions EXCEPT MINE.

IDK, because it's what I needed when I wrote it as well. Bob in ridiculous Hello I Value Comfort Over Style clothes fills me with joy. I'm not really a style person myself either, and remembering your green hoodie I'M GUESSING YOU FEEL THE SAME, eh? :P

I have been subject to nearly the same thing as the Dan treatment, except with less sexytiems, and it ended Badly and with lots of me crying.

Yeah, me too. Except it ended with the other person in frustrated tears and me breaking things, because I get extremely nasty when people try to dig me out of my holes, and end up saying very unpleasant things. Anyway, I liked the idea of giving Bob something like that only because they're boys there is less sobbing and FEELINGS and more blowjobs and confusion.

'oops that was a bad idea becuse even though it sounded okay in my head the reality of it just HURTS' FrankPERFECT DESCRIPTION. :D I am so pleased that came across. Thank you

[minervasolo]

I really wasn't expecting to go "awwww" at the end of that. Good old peeniverse.

[apiphile]

BEWARE MY REFUSAL TO STICK TO ONE GENRE. IE, I'm glad you liked that. If you did. Well. Um.

[minervasolo]

I did like it! I did mean to say more, like how hot it was and how much I like body-issues Bob and how awesomely evocative* the description of his house is, but my brain decided I was only allowed to have one thought at a time and "awwwww" was apparently it.

*I went through about five words there, because I don't like "evocative", but it is actually the word that means exactly what I want to say.

[apiphile]

*hands* Quick question, as I never mentioned it directly in the fic and want to see if I have psychically implanted it in everyone's brains anyway; how many stories/floors does the house have, in your mind?

[stratospherique]

BOBOBOBOBOBOBOB. AND DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN. AND JEPHAREEEEEEEE.

Poor guilt-ridden Bob! With his body issues and his guilt and his adorable dogs and his sexy freckles. I have already shouted much of this back at you.

He catches the vague memory of Dan coming on Jepha's face and nearly falls over air in the corridor.

UNF. More fics should end with Dan coming on Jepha's face.

Also now of course there must be all-healed-up-Frank reestablishing his claim on Bob. Or my heart will break forever and I will perish of despair.

[apiphile]

FUNNILY ENOUGH JESS AND I WERE SAYING THE SAME THING. About the facials. THERE SHOULD BE MORE JEPHA-RELATED FACIALS IN FIC.

HAhaha. Tempted as I am to see what you perishing of despair looks like, I will see what comes up.

[stratospherique]

BECAUSE IT'S A DAMN GOOD IDEA, JEPHA-RELATED FACIALS.

Me perishing of despair involves much of the planet coming with me, so keep that in mind.

[apiphile]

*salute* Yessirma'am.

[ilo]

I LOVE THIS UNIVERSE.

"Say it," Dan says calmly, "say it like you mean it." He lowers his voice, "Because it's true. Also, I like watching him blow you. Stop being a jerk."

Yeah, Bob. Jerkery will get you nowhere!

[apiphile]

I'M PRETTY FOND OF IT MYSELF. <3

[strangefrontier]

OH BOBOBOBOBOBOBERT. ♥ I can't quite manage to say anything other than OH BOB right now. OH BOB.

[apiphile]

YOU COMMENTED WITH THE BAD NEWS ICON which is what that image is in my head. :D :D :D

[strangefrontier]

The thing about that icon, right, is that Frank's about to chuck his cigarette butt away and spit on the ground from that great height and Bob will yank on that tie that's been irritatingly flapping in his face and be like, will you fucking stop doing that, Frank, and then there will be nakedness and bruising and filthy hot pee-sex.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ I'm sure you know by now my feelings on body image issues in fic. :D LISTEN TO DAN, BOB, BECAUSE HE IS WISE AND SPEAKS THE TRUTH, SEXY BOB BRYAR WHO IS SEXY.

[apiphile]

TOTALLY. Or he's going to spit on Bob's ear and Bob's going to DRAG him to the bathroom by the tie and smack him in the face the minute he even opens his mouth and then YESSSSSS. He's. Guh. Hello, I seem to have lost the ability to form sentences; mental image of naked Frankie on his knees staring up through his eyelashes and licking his lips. QWEI USgsk./;gv.aijsgvac a STOP IT BRAIN.

SIMILAR TO MY OWN, I'LL WAGER. Hahahaha. LISTEN TO DAN BOB, EVEN THOUGH YOU WON'T BECAUSE CURING BODY DISMORPHIA IS NOT THAT SIMPLE.