[fic] I lost my mind several times writing this.

[apiphile]

Title: Hapalochlaena lunulata cecum howardii
Fandom: The Used.
Word Count: 5,621
Rating: C for Crack. SO. MUCH. CRACK.
Pairing: Dan/Jepha, largely.
Warnings: Look, if I try to warn you for everything that will disturb you my header will be longer than the fic. It's best to read this as humour. (I do kind of want to warn for om-nom-con, if only

Comments

[jumpthesnark]

...

I... I... THERE ARE NO WORDS.

[apiphile]

Remember, if you don't pimp it, you hate Jesus.

[jumpthesnark]

I pimped it, but I still hate Jesus.

please don't do it again i'll be good i swear ;_;

[apiphile]

I promise I will write disturbing fic than this.

Y'know, on account of being hard-pressed to write anything MORE disturbing.

[marika_kailaya]

there is something WRONG in your HEAD.

[apiphile]

Most of what is currently wrong with my head is that it's NEARLY FOUR IN THE MORNING AND I CAN'T GO TO SLEEP. WHY CAN'T I SLEEP NRRRRGGHHHHH SO TIRED.

[strangecreature]

ohgodyourbrain. YOUR BRAIN.

Well, there you go... We will never mock you for the muppet-fic ever ever again because you have surpassed it forever. X-D

[apiphile]

The sheer number of times I started laughing hysterically while shouting and pawing at my own skull in this fic probably did surpass the muppet-fics by some distance. On the other hand, this is way cuter. There is no non-con!

(I want to sleeeeeeeeeep so badly and my eyes won't stay shut. D:)

[stratospherique]

Oh. My. God. I AM TRAUMATIZED in the most gloriously hilarious of ways.

Well done you!

[apiphile]

HUZZAH! VICTORY IS MINE.

[stratospherique]

I wish I lived in London so I could congratulate you in person for this level of sheer horrified delight.

[apiphile]

As long as said congratulating didn't involve too much in the way of punching me in the face...

[ruthi]

HAHAHHOOOHOOOHA WHAT.

I started copying out the sentences that made me laugh:

It sounded a lot like Jepha. "Hey, don't replace me."
Heee!

His dick helpfully made the situation a little easier by turning into a nervously-shrivelled peanut and skulking somewhere between his thighs.
*giggle*

Bert screamed in a voice that could probably have woken the dead if, this being LA, the dead weren't already awake and getting botox to improve their wrinkly-ass faces.
:D

The injustice of this all, that he'd done it out of a genuine desire to save the band from possible cephalopod-engineered destruction, was going to be overlooked no matter what.
*laugh* *delight*

"You could shove the bass up Dan's ass,"
*cackle*
Dan became very grateful, very quickly, that their instruments were still at the studio.
*laugh*

"He's not going to stick anything up your ass because he knows I'll break it off if he tries. Don't you, Bert?"*extra-laugh with cherry on top

[apiphile]

You should have heard the timbre of the hysterical giggling I was doing while writing it. I seriously kept bursting into manic cackles while I was typing as whatever I'd just said caught up with my brain. :D