[fic] I lost my mind several times writing this.

[apiphile]

Title: Hapalochlaena lunulata cecum howardii
Fandom: The Used.
Word Count: 5,621
Rating: C for Crack. SO. MUCH. CRACK.
Pairing: Dan/Jepha, largely.
Warnings: Look, if I try to warn you for everything that will disturb you my header will be longer than the fic. It's best to read this as humour. (I do kind of want to warn for om-nom-con, if only

Comments

[ruthi]

HAHAHHOOOHOOOHA WHAT.

I started copying out the sentences that made me laugh:

It sounded a lot like Jepha. "Hey, don't replace me."
Heee!

His dick helpfully made the situation a little easier by turning into a nervously-shrivelled peanut and skulking somewhere between his thighs.
*giggle*

Bert screamed in a voice that could probably have woken the dead if, this being LA, the dead weren't already awake and getting botox to improve their wrinkly-ass faces.
:D

The injustice of this all, that he'd done it out of a genuine desire to save the band from possible cephalopod-engineered destruction, was going to be overlooked no matter what.
*laugh* *delight*

"You could shove the bass up Dan's ass,"
*cackle*
Dan became very grateful, very quickly, that their instruments were still at the studio.
*laugh*

"He's not going to stick anything up your ass because he knows I'll break it off if he tries. Don't you, Bert?"
*extra-laugh with cherry on top*

I sort of gave up when I realised it was getting to be every other line. I was laughing throughout.

ASSertion!
Brilliant.

"I fucking thought you were cute and shit."

There was a brief, or long, or endless silence. Jepha said, finally, "And now you don't because you know I'm … you know?"

I am in the coughing stage of laughing. It is your fault.

"Less talk more tentacle,"
I was just getting my breath back, too.

And so on with laughs cackles and giggles to the end.

You are mad and wrong.

[apiphile]

You should have heard the timbre of the hysterical giggling I was doing while writing it. I seriously kept bursting into manic cackles while I was typing as whatever I'd just said caught up with my brain. :D