The Smith Family Legacy - Harley & Damon's Chapter
Author's Note: Welcome back to the Smith Family Legacy guys! This one is all about Harley and Damon... I'm late because of various reasons, one of them being power outages caused by Hurricane Earl.
PS: Oh and I will warn you before hand.. There is A LOT of swearing in this one.. I can't help it.. Damon inspires me to curse...
PPS: Don't forget to comment..
Last time on The Smith Family Legacy...
Cecilia and Henry welcomed three little girls into their house, Aaliyah, Veronica and Sammi (above)!
Missed Something Important?
Generation Sixteen
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Wedding
Post-Wedding Visitation
Cecilia & Henry
Aaliyah turned out to be a very unique child.. Her mother was much worse, so I have high hopes for Aaliyah.
Veronica inherited that cursed nose... Fortunately she received the awesome blond/pink hair from her father.
I decided that the hair I had on her before made her nose look much bigger than it actually was, so now she has new hair.
And Sammi... Arguably the cuter of the two.. She looks very much like Martinique to me.. :)
Cecilia was forced to live with her bitter mother-in-law, Rena, who she hates...
At least Rena helps out with the girls.
Cecilia makes pretty babies.
Honestly.. How can you deny Veronica's cuteness?!
Okay.. Moving on to Harley & Damon...
This is where they live.. Lucky buggers XD
Harley: "Hehehe.. You said bugger.. I know what that means..."
Shhh.. I bet most people reading this don't....
Harley: "They'll go look it up as soon as they read that. I'd be willing to put money on it."
=/
Damon: "People like me will look it up."
Damon: "OMG... Ew... In front of the children? Really? You're just sick..."
Harley: "There's a chair in the way, and I want to romantic social him!"
Damon: "Hahaha! Money! It's hilarious!"
Chair or not, Harley gets what Harley wants.
Bowchickawowow!
Damon: "I just got lucky x 2.. I even had to wash the sheets."
Too much info.. But thanks for sharing..
Damon: "No problemo."
Harley: "I am so beautiful. Love for me."
Harley spends the majority of her free time admiring her own beauty.
Consequencly, this house seems to have plenty of mirrors for some reason...
There are many more interesting matters than Harley's good looks, so I decided to force them out of the house, and to the community pool.
Damon: "I can cause some real damage to the hearts of the ladies at this facility. What with my dashing good looks, and manly attire, they are bound to overheat and die.."
At least Harley's found her egotistical equal..
Matthew: "Dear god, please don't let me die..."
Matthew: "Holy chicken nuggets.. That guy is blue.. Which must mean he's up to something questionable... I bet he's an alien sent from the pool drains to eat our souls and smother us with fear."
Damon: "What's up with this kid?"
That's Chase's son...
Damon: "Well that explains it."
Damon: *Splashsplash*
Matthew: "AHH!! The blue alien man from the pool drain is trying to drown me! HELLLLLP MEEEE!"
Matthew: "Oh that is IT! I'll show you guys who to mess with!! I'm going #1 in the pool right now!"
Emmett: "Did it just get warm in here all of a sudden?"
Harley: "Oh hells no! In the pool! THAT CHILD HAS ISSUES!!"
It's Chase's son..
Harley: "Well that explains it."
Harley: "My great-uncle peed in the pool, and now you must be punished! *Splashsplash*.."
Blondie: "AHH! TRANSPARANT GHOST HEAD ATTACKING! HELP!"
Harley: "I think I might have ingested some of that urine-water.. Urghh....."
Rena: "Swimming with sunglasses on is the shit."
Harley: "BRLARHGHHHHHHPUKINGINPUBLICISSONOTCOOLARGHHHHH!"
Harley: "Okay.. I've put in enough of an appearance at this community hang out.. I'm ready to go now.."
Harley and Damon headed home.. where they quickly passed out from their very busy, very exhausting day at the pool..
Damon's lifetime wish was to be the Emperor of Evil (of course..), so he started out at the bottom.. as a snitch.. Harley took a more interesting route.. She's a ghost hunter. Isn't life ironic?
Unfortunately for you guys, it was the weekend... and apparently ghosts don't like to come out on the weekend.
Harley: "I'll just be awesome and take up the guitar. It doesn't take talent to be a rock star. It's all about the looks baby ;)..."
Harley: "I don't know how this happened, but I'm oddly delighted =).."
Wait until Damon finds out.. He won't be so delighted.. Damon acquired Dislikes Children in his transition to adulthood.. Lucky Harley..
Harley: "I don't need him to approve. I can make my own money to support my baby.."
By discovering stars, and naming them things like butt-face and ass-cheese...
Harley: "Those are very unique and interesting names!"
Damon: "OMGWORKBITESASS.. I'm so glad I'm home..."
Maybe you will reconsider when your wife tells you what she's been up to...
Damon: "As long as she isn't pregnant, than I'm okay with her doing whatever the hell she wants."
Heheheh...
Harley: "Being pregnant really has a glow about it.. My face.. It's even more beautiful. I didn't think it was possible."
BORE
Damon: "I am so fatigued from all this exercise..."
Damon: "But check out my guns.. Are they hot, or are they hot?"
Harley: "Hi me.. You are looking quite delightful today! Sigh.. Thank you me.. I admire you're sense of style.. of grace.. of"
I think we've all had enough of the conceitedness...
Harley: "I would much rather it be called confidence.. Only ugly people who think they are hot are conceited."
No matter how old she gets, Harley is still fascinated with her mother's spicy romantic series, Peter's Pecker..
Harley: "I have a fabulous idea! Why don't we redecorate this bathroom to include wall to wall mirrors! That's such a great idea! I should be an interior decorator!"
Or not..
Harley enjoyed long naps and boring me half to death while Damon was at work.. I'll be so happy when this pregnancy is over and I have something cute to look at.
Damon: "PROMOTION! I'm so good at what I do! =).."
Harley: "Grandpa Chase? Hi... It's Harley.. I just thought I'd call to let you know that your son is disgusting.. We went swimming.. and he peed in the pool.. I ingested some of it and threw up in public, totally embarrassing myself for life. You should teach your son some manners."
Harley: "Now on to the wonderful subject of ME! Oh.. I'm pregnant! You might want to let mom know. She's been texting me hints that I should get on with it and bear her a ghostly grand-baby.."
Damon: "Zzzz.. PROMOTION! I'm the best at what I do =).. Zzzz...."
Notice how Harley and Damon haven't had a word since she discovered she was pregnant?
They finally end up in the same room as one another just as Harley is going into labour.
Damon: "AHHHWHATTHEHELL!!! HOW IS SHE PREGNANT?! I TOTALLY WEAR TIGHT PANTS AND HAVE HOT BATHS AND
WEAR CONSTRICTING UNDERWEAR THAT PREVENT MY MANLY PARTS FROM GETTING ADEQUATE VENTILATION!!"
Damon: "MY LIFE IS OVER KILL ME NOW!!!"
To prevent any unnecessary injury, I sent the couple to the hospital..
Damon: "If anyone congratulates me, they'll be sorry."
It's a boy!
Everyone welcome Harper Smith to the crew! Harper is Evil and Neurotic.. Maybe his father will forgive his hate for children when he finds out his son will follow in his Evil footsteps.
Birthday time!
BLUE HAIR! YES!!!!
Harper: "Now daddy will have to love me."
I really don't even know where his skin tone comes from.. The Smiths haven't been this light since Sophia.
Harper: "Stinkin' block. I'm gonna eat you!"
Harper: "HATE/RAGE/ANGER!"
Damon: "I'm going to see if I can sell him on ebay for 50 bucks."
Damon: "But first... Muahhaha..."
Harper: "YAY! Daddy finally loves me!"
Harper: "Wait........ What..?"
Harper: "....No..."
Harper: "HE WOULDN'T DARE!!!"
Damon: "I would. Evil is my life."
V_V
Damon: *Shakesbaby*
Harper: "WAHHHHHNOOOODON'TWAHHHH!"
Damon: "The shaking was supposed to shut it up! Now what do I do?!?!"
Harper: *Cries*
I think it.. he is hungry...
Harper: "LIKEOHEMGEEI'MSOCUTEANDHAPPY!"
Was Cupcake Jaxie over here feeding my spare kids the hard stuff?!
Harper: "That old lady is my bestest friend EVER!"
Harper: "I really showed that block game who's my bitch."
So damn cute.. Can't... take.. it... X_X
Harley: "I'm bored with parenting. The kid can practically take care of himself anyway. All I need to do is hand him a bottle when he cries. Easy as pie."
Harley: "...How can something so small... smell... so...so... the words don't even exist to define this smell..."
I'm sure you're reconsidering your earlier comparison to pie...
Harper: "Did I do that?"
Oops.. Forgot to change his PJ's..
Downstairs...
Damon broke the shower...
Damon: "I dislike myself very much right now..."
Damon: "What if Harley finds out?! She'll withhold sexy-time!"
I doubt that.. She doesn't have the resolve.
Damon: "AND OMG.. This toilet..."
Damon: "This is all that rotten kid's fault!"
It's all his fault that you can't afford a maid?
Damon: "YES! Stupid S.O.B!"
You do know that you just called your wife a bitch, right?
Damon: "Damn."
Aww.. Don't you guys look cute together! I knew you couldn't hate him forever Damon... You're a softie..
Damon: "I'm cringing on the inside."
Harley was occupied at the spa with a $7,500 treatment.. Who the hell spends that much money on a day at the spa?! She's the one that prevents Damon from having a clean toilet...
Anyway.. Damon took Harper down to Bella's Bitchin' Books to pick up a few good reads.. It was discount day..
He even picked up a few books for little Harper to enjoy!
Umm.. Guys? Maybe you ought to go home and read...
Damon: "Nonsense.. We're bonding here.."
This better not be where you jump out of the street just as a car comes around the corner and collect the insurance on you son, is it?
Damon: "No... >:) Not in the least bit related to that..."
Harley came back from the spa refreshed and renewed..
I was really bored with her to tell you the truth.. I gave her a makeover and changed a few of her traits to spice up my life.
Harley: "Aww.. Damon's going to kill me when he finds out.. I love the suspense."
Damon: "Oh me.. You are so delightfully evil.. Despite warnings not to put articles of clothing into the washing machine with combustible liquids on them, I defy those rules. How abominable of me >:)..."
Damon: "Oh yes.. Abominable.. That's the perfect word for ME... HEHEHEHE!"
Damon enjoys tooting his own horn.
Harper: "I is cute."
Yes you is <3
Damon called a repair man to fix his various broken objects..
Not that any of those objects are in the new baby room... Which as you can see, shows my confidence that it will be a girl..
Edmund: "Ah gross.. That light is repulsive.."
Edmund Myrick: "WHY MUST I WEAR THESE OVERALLS! YOU KNOW HOW THEY MAKE MY ASS LOOK GIGANTIC!"
Harley tempted fate.. and told Damon she was with child.
Harley: "You're going to be a daddy again."
Damon: "Does she WANT me to KILL myself?"
Harley: "PLEASE DAMON!! Forgive me!! It's all my fault!"
Damon: "Damn straight!"
Damon: "Now to sleep you go little monster."
I really think he's beginning to get used to the idea of fatherhood...
Edmund: "OMG.. Do you see his thought bubble?! These kids are doomed for foster care!"
In the real world.. Most likely.. In this world.. They have to be on the edge of death before they're rescued from their evil father..
Edmund: "DAMN YOU CRUEL VOICES! THE OVERALLS!! I HATE THEM!"
Damon: "Yes... Babysitting service? I'd like to hire one of your finest babysitters to take care of my spawn.."
Babysitter: "Kids.. They are suckish."
Damon: "I'd really rather clean toilets all day than have another kid.."
Damon: "I'd rather lick this toilet to be honest with you.."
That's disgusting.
Damon: "The truth hurts."
Damon: "You like kids?! How dare you enter my house?!"
Babysitter: "You hate kids?! How dare you be a father!"
Harley: "Rub my baby bump Damon. You know you want to."
Damon: "Actually no.. I don't.. I just said I'd rather lick a poopy toilet than have another baby."
Harley: "That's a little much, don't you think?"
Damon: "No.. I don't.."
Oh Damon.. Poor.. Poor.. Damon...
Babysitter: "WHAT THE HELL KID!?"
Harper: "Love me....?"
Babysitter: "I'll pass! NOW SHUT UP!"
Harper: "I STINK LIKE SOCKS! CHANGE ME!"
Babysitter: "The smell goes straight to the head, doesn't it?"
I am in love with this picture...
Babysitter: "Now sit in here and play with your blocks. And for God's sake, SHUT UP! SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP!"
Harper: "I still stink like socks! SOMEONE CHANGE ME!"
Harper: "Never, ever do that shit to me again."
Harley: "She said she was family oriented.. Bitch please."
Damon: "Zzzz.. NO! NOT KIDS! ANYTHING BUT THAT!! Zzzz.."
Harley: "I'm going to have to do something about that..."
Yes.. I think you do.
Damon: *Sexyshowers*
Harley slept more than any other living sim I have ever seen...
If she wasn't in her bed, she was fast asleep on the love seat...
Damon: "Are you happy now? I have to drink the pain of parenthood away."
At least you're not losing your hair like my father.
Damon: "Y'know.. It's hard to stay mad at you Harley.. You're just so damn pretty..."
Harley: "Aww.. He knows just what to say..."
Harper: "I am unimpressed with your face."
Harper was neglected.. Neither of his parents cared to interact with him unless they were forced..
Harper didn't seem to mind.. He enjoyed the alone time.
Harley: "I don't know why I have to teach you shit.. I just want to go to the spa and get a facial, not talk with a toddler about potty training and how yummy toy blocks taste."
Harper: "Bitch."
Harley: "WHAT DID HE JUST CALL ME?! Ahh hell.. look what he did! Now I'm in labour!"
Poor Harper.. Getting all the brunt of the blame.
Damon was working nights as a criminal, so Harley had to call the awful babysitter over to watch Harper while she took off to the hospital..
To my dismay, Damon arrived anyway...
Damon: "DamnDamnDamn."
GHOST BABY!!!!
It's a girl! This is Julie Smith <3
Julie is Evil and Eccentric! Wow.. The evil in Damon is really living on through his kids.
Birthday for Julie!
Ghostbaby is the cutest thing ever! I can't believe the blue hair has passed on twice! How unlikely!
Julie has her granddaddy's eyes (Eli), and Sophia's skintone. If you forgot, Harley's eyes are actually green and her hair is red. This one doesn't have one trait from her mother.. Well.. Besides the dead thing...
Harper was ready to lose the diapers.. Harley gladly carried him up to the cake.
Harper: "OHBOYI'MGONNABESOKEWL!"
Harper: *Disappointment*
Harper's bedevilled upbringing carried the consequence of Sloppiness.
Ah well. He's still as cute as pudding!
Harper: "Pudding..? This is more like triple decker chocolate cake baby ;)..."
Julie: "Hi there guys. I'm gonna show you how this game is done. Are you watchin'..?"
Of course.
Julie: "STUPID BLOCK GAME! DON'T YOU DARE EMBARRASS ME IN FRONT OF MY FRIENDS AGAIN! RAGE!"
Damon: "Why must they scream so loud! How can anyone actually plan for one of these scream demons?!!"
Julie: "STINKY SOCKS!"
Damon: "Now that I changed you..."
Julie: "I can't believe he just did that!"
Damon: "Grow up little girl. I'm the man of the house."
And also the most immature.
Oh Harper.. Don't double traumatize the kid...
Julie: "ADMIRATION! I love you big brother!"
Julie: "WAHHHHIHATEMENFORLIFEWAHHHHH!"
Harley: "I can't believe you showed Harper to do that to his own baby sister!"
Damon: "And I should care.. why?"
Harper: "Aww Julie.. I'll make it up to you.. I remember how awful it felt when dad did that to me.. Let's play 'where's the big jerk brother'.."
Julie: "Otay."
Harper: "HERE I AM!"
Julie: "YAY! Again!"
Harley: "We really should never have had children..."
Damon: "I couldn't agree with you more."
But that doesn't stop them...
Damon: "I'm so delighted with the misery of others... >:)..."
He's his father through and through.
Harley: "I'm sorry about the evilness that runs in this house Julie.. Girls rule, boys drool.. Remember that."
Julie: "Everyone already knows that mommy.. Oh, and FYI.. I'm part of that Evil, so don't mess with me."
Harper: "Zzz.. I'm never procreating..Zzzz..."
The next morning, Harper took a trip over to his aunt and uncle's house down the street.
Henry: "Uhh.. Whatever this blue head kid is selling, I'm not purchasing.."
Henry: "Blue hair scares me."
Rightfully so... The blue hair = evil
Harper: "Oh hi.. Who are you?"
Aaliyah: "I'm your cousin.. What do YOU want...? Dad told me not to play with blue headed kids.. They're supposed to be bad... or some shit.. Well.. Dad DOES thinks everything is out to get him..."
Harper: "So does that mean you want to come over to play?"
Aaliyah: "I don't see why not."
Harper: "Cool."
So Aaliyah followed Harper back to his place...
Where they actually got along famously.
Harper: "BLARRRGHHUGLYFACE!"
Aaliyah: "MOOSEY MOOSES!"
Harper: "So now that we have been acquainted, would you like to see my rocket?"
Aaliyah: "I'll pass.. Let's play tag!"
Harper: "I guess that will do."
Harper: *GASP!*
Harper: "OH DEAR GOD! I am way too out of shape! NO MORE BIG MACS AND CIGARETTES!"
Aaliyah: "I thought you'd make it around the house at least once."
Harper: *Pants*
Julie: "WHY DOES EVERYONE IGNORE ME!!"
Harley wasn't doing so well with the concept of parenthood.. She spent her days sleeping and admiring her own appearance. Meanwhile, her kids were starving and lonely..
Harley: "My beauty rest is essential."
Not to the survival of your kids.
Harley: "Haven't you ever heard that you have to love yourself before you can love your children."
No.. I think that applies to loving yourself before loving a partner.. And you love yourself plenty, so get to it!
Harley: "Sigh.. Okay.. If I must.."
You must!
Aaliyah: "Ready Harp? Here comes a good one! HIYAH!"
I was happily surprised with how quickly these cousins were becoming bff's.
Harper: "I GOT IT!"
Antonio: "Darn kids and their blasted death sport. Sigh.. If only my father played baseball with me when I was young.. Maybe I wouldn't be wearing an apron and servicing an old robot."
LOL
Harley was so neglectful, that even Damon felt bad for his baby girl.
Damon: "As if."
Julie: "I love you too daddy."
Julie: "Uhh.. But not enough to parrot you."
Damon: "Aww.. That saddens me to my very core."
Harper and Aaliyah were having so much fun that she just had to stay the night... I even added another bed for her!
Damon: "THAT'S IT!!!! ENOUGH! KAPUT! FINI! DONNNNE!"
What are you going on about now?
Damon: "I've had it up to here with YOU. Yes.. YOU. Trying to force me to be a 'dad'! Well I'm not taking your shit any longer Missy!"
Damon: *Pouts*
Way to throw a tantrum like the child you are.
Harper: "MUAHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!"
Aaliyah: "Zzz...I'm gonna get a job and make my daddy proud.. Zzzz.."
Harper: "Not if I have anything to do with it EHEHEHHE!"
I thought you guys were besties..
Harley: "Cooking.. What a waste of frickin' time and a sure pain in the ass."
Oh.. Did I mention that Harley is prego AGAIN?
Harley: "For F#@$ sake..."
Harley: "Your father is going to kill me..."
Harper: "Can't talk.. Stuffing face..."
Harper: "Oh.. You're pregnant. Kewl. Nice knowing you."
Harper: "Hey Julie.. I'll trade you an awesome yellow race car for that stupid old boat."
Julie: "HA! I may be young, but stupid I am not."
Harper: "Damn..."
Damon: "BOOOOKIDSSUCKTHELIFEOUTOFMEBOOOO!"
What are you complaining about? She's watching sports.. I'm sure that's what you were going to watch anyways.
Damon: "She's smelling up the couch! BOOOOO!"
-headdesk-
Julie: "Ken..? Really? What little kid wants to look at your ass ugly face..? Man up and just kill yourself already."
Harper: "I hate that kid."
Damon: "He's really starting to take after his dad.. How cute.."
Julie: "SMELLY!"
Harper: "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM YOU EVIL DEMON CHILD!"
I would defend her.. But it's true..
Harper: "Am I really the only kid that goes to school? Why don't they just pick me up in a car then.. This bus is really unnecessary."
Julie: "STARVATION IS NOT COOL GUYS!"
Harley, your daughter is starving in the other room.. Why don't you take a break from you and pretend like you care for once.
Harley: "My face is just so beautiful.. I'm not selfish. I grace the world with my beauty every day!"
Harper: "Gossip with me father?"
Damon: "Eww gross."
Damon: "I don't associate with minors. It's beneath me."
Unless he wants to talk about corrupting the world...
Harley: "AHHHH! I thought this update was supposed to be about me! PAY ATTENTION GOD DAMMIT! I'm giving birth to a whale! It hurts!!"
I'm sorry Harley.. There are too many things more interesting than you...
Being lazy, I decided to let Harley suffer through the pain of childbirth at home.. Where she gave birth to Austin!
Another unknown skintone! The awesomeness!
Wow.. He's really light..
Austin was born Insane and Easily Impressed.
You know the drill! BIRTHDAY TIME FOR SPARE BABY!
GASP! More blue hair?! =D
Austin.. He's so much like his older brother.. Only a little less evil.. And a little more insane...
Austin: "OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!"
Austin: "ERRR! It won't pop off!"
Austin: "Damn you all to hell Ken."
All these kids have it in for that doll..
Well, I'm going to leave it there.. This update is already much too long.. I just had to keep going.. The kids were too damn cute to stop..
Please comment. I really love to hear what you think :)
