The Official Inheritance Spork, Part 4: King Cat

[mage_apprentice]

Hello, everyone! About time I posted this. Let’s hope I won’t screw this over like that whole “Majesty” affair. Let’s begin by boring all of you to death with a quote~

Comments

[distinctvaguens]

After Ajihad died, Nausuada took command leaving Jormundy still in the second in command slot or something. As we'll come to learn, she continues this pattern of appointing an untrained youth to become the supreme leader >_

[mage_apprentice]

It was disappointing and confusing, to say the least. He admitted that, concerning my present tense, my writing differences was just a matter of writing style, but it's the dialogue tag thing that confuses me the most since I'm still trying to learn what to do. Maybe swankivy can help me in that regard.

And I thought second person pov was strange.

[distinctvaguens]

Hehe Second Person is fun for writing Choose Your Own Adventure stories. Lots of style variations to say the least

[swankivy]

Dialogue shouldn't have to be peppered with stage directions about who's saying what. People should talk differently enough or be expressing sentiments that make sense in context, and when you can't tell who's talking and how it's being said by WHAT'S being said, you can tell us. There's no need to dress it up. That's not the part of the writing that's supposed to be colorful. It's supposed to get out of the way so we can read the conversation. It's documented that overusing adverbs or fancy dialogue tags is the mark of an amateur. Appalling that your teacher would ASK you to use them.

[predak123]

(slight spoilers!)

And the great thing is that the werecats don't really affect anything. They could have been left out and nothing would have changed. Great writing!

[mage_apprentice]

I do recall that he hates Hemingway's writing style and considers it immature.

[unboxed_project]

there was no doubt that Grimrr was male, given the hard, sinewy muscles of his arms and chest, the narrowness of his hips, and the coiled power of his stride

Because... all female werecats have no muscles and fantastic hourglass figures? Way to be randomly sexist about cats, CP. Or Cats! I'm almost certain Andrew Lloyd Webber would have something to say about this.

[maegwin_of_hern]

[maegwin_of_hern]

[swankivy]

Angela and Grimrr have a history. She didn't like something she came upon him doing--something cats naturally do--and told him to stop. He didn't. So she cast an embarrassing spell on him to punish him. Gee, what a thick and twisted history they have.