The Official Inheritance Spork, Part 2: Hammerfall

[mage_apprentice]

Hello, everyone! Stealingvowels was sick and busy and unfortunately didn’t get the chance to do her chapter, so I’m posting in her place. In the last chapter, we found Eragon in a battle and he expanded his equipment by obtaining Plot Coupon Spear, which triples his stat points. Suddenly, something happened to Roran!

Comments

[mage_apprentice]

*sigh* I hate LJ and how it handles rich text format. I did not bold that last sentence, the text is all different sizes even when I didn't mess with it, and . . .

It looked much better on Microsoft Word . . .

[jair_greycoat]

You could try copying it into Notepad, manually adding in the tags, then copying it into the HTML version of the edit post box. (And making sure it doesn’t secretly add any additional tags in.)

[mage_apprentice]

Thanks. I'll try that next time I post something.

[lyenisie]

If Paolini doesn't dare to kill his beloved characters, why does he still try to make us believe he will do it? It doesn't work since long. The way Eragon runs and runs to find his brother was pretentious and useless. It's really written like a bad fanfiction, the kind I never read. Thanks for this sporking, I would never have been able to read Inheritance alone. After all, I didn't read Brisingr and finishing Eldest was one of the most boring things I ever did.

(In fact, I wonder if some Inheritance fans did really fear for Roran :D)

[distinctvaguens]

Good job! Yeah, I when I read this chapter I was really wondering why they had to make it take so long for Eragon to get to Roran. The only thing that happens is Eragon showing off that he's in Godmode plus lots of boring confusing running. I agree Roran had ridiculous plot armor and we never even suspected he'd be down for the count. This chapter and most of the first half of the book is pointless.

Something to add, this chapter title, along with many of the rest are really dumb when you try to see why Paolini chose them. Calling this chapter Hammerfall is a cheap trick to make us assume Roran will be dead and since we find out he's fine, that basically means Paolini lied to the readers. Also I think it is an allusion to the Elder Scrolls games where there is a place known as Hammerfell. Take your pick, forced unneeded allusion or straight up lie, maybe both!

[mage_apprentice]

CP DIDNT LIE! HE WAS TRYING TO CR8 TENSHUN 4 TEH READER, U H8R!

[jair_greycoat]

?

[mage_apprentice]

I'm just being a smartaleck here and imitating a rabid fan who doesn't listen to criticism.

[ana0119]

Great spork~ I'm glad we're moving along again. (I'm next~~)

Also, love the Raine icon. Symphonia was full of plot holes and cliches, but at the least the characters were incredibly loveable.

[mage_apprentice]

Found the icon from someone else.

ToS may be full of plot holes (and the cliches are on purpose on the writers since that's Tales Studio's thing), but plugging those plot holes is fun. Well, fun until you get to ToS2. To write a fic over that, I'd have to rewrite the entire plot.

[ana0119]

I never quite got over the sheer mystery of what happened 4000 years ago or how the world-splitting worked. There are lots of weird details, but at least the plot moves right along and is actually surprisingly coherent in terms of tone and message. (ToS2... Look, it says something when you need to rewrite the laws of reality to make your stories fit together. I think it's called retcon.)

And, of course, I love the characters. So much, all of them.

Oh, I forgot before, but I totally laughed at "JK Rowling needs to write this book. With her powers of killing off every minor character we love in a final book, JK Rowling will right this wrong and save the Inheritance Cycle! Oh, wait, there are no minor characters we love in this book."

I do have a fondness for Murtagh, and Angela. And Elva. Hell, even Arya's icy bitchiness becomes endearing, if only because she maintains it constantly (until Brisingr). I just... really hate Roran.

[mage_apprentice]

I think the deal with what happened during the 1000 years of Kharlan War and how Mithos established Cruxis is mostly supposed to be left to the player's imagination, like Sheik's physical gender in Ocarina of Time.
But with ToS2 and its problems, it tries to retcon a difference between ToS and Tales of Phantasia when, in my opinion at least, it doesn't need the retcon. Supporters of that retcon say that mana wasn't as important in ToP so it fits. The World Tree fricken died in ToP! No one is going to know that mana is the source of life when they treat said source of the source of life like crap.

I do like Murtagh. I was so angry at what Paolini did to him.

[jair_greycoat]

Wait, why does Roran faint from exhaust?

. . .

I’ll see if I can come up with something more constructive to say later. :P

[mage_apprentice]

It doesn't say. He just suddenly faints. My guess is from blood-loss since he's covered in wounds (when he should be dead).