I am here now.

The last two days, on my way to work, there's been a motorcycle cop ticketing unhelmeted cyclists at Main and Union. Today, I was safety-savvy enough to be wearing a helmet; yesterday I wasn't so lucky! I mean, I can't really get too indignant about getting a $30 fine for not wearing a potentially life saving device, I suppose. But being pulled ( Read more... )

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Today, one of the girls at work encouraged me to seek out a slightly overweight, awkward man - a "fixer-upper," in the business - as my next partner. Because, you know, he'd be really grateful.

Seems logical enough.

He'd have to be mighty well read, though.

Rewriting the classics (ire inducing!)...

"The owner of Napoleon’s penis died last Thursday in Englewood, N.J."

Making a case for American Lit (watch for the twist at the end!).

Also, I get a lot of great emails at work, like this one:

"Guys, why should you waste your time going from one grugstore
to another and spend much more money for the ( Read more... )

So, today the good folks at Discovery Organics stuck me in the warehouse for a couple hours, and I sprained my wrist trying to catch a 40 pound box of bananas. So continues my lifelong battle against that particular yellow fruit -- I'll conquer you yet, bananas ( Read more... )

Hey, I just got a job!

So, I was just reading this article on existentialism versus pessimism by the recently deceased Robert C. Solomon, when, right in front of my apartment building a car flipped on its back in an attempt to flee some police cars a few blocks back. Now my block is a sea of blinking lights.

            The famous dream sequence in the final pages of Ingrid Dumont's Kepala has mystified readers and critics alike since it was first published. When young, feminine Dara [1] slips into unconsciousness while scrutinizing herself in the mirror, her reflected figure becomes that of her male employer and financial protector, Haba [2]. Slowly, ( Read more... )

So, after months and months of resistance, I am finally joining MySpace. As I hit "Sign Up," I thought aloud that it felt like jumping aboard a sinking ship. Seeing as I'm dedicating the next four months of my life to writing an essay on self annihilation in Moby-Dick, perhaps this is an apt move on my part ( Read more... )