Fic - Jensen/Jared - The Past Never Stays There - Chapter 9/14
Title : The Past Never Stays There - Chapter 9/14
Author : angels3 aka Angela
Beta : munimula - who is the best beta ever and any mistakes left are so mine, and there will probably be a plenty as I had to rework some things after she sent it back to me. I hope I got all the mistakes as I had to do this twice. Don't ask you don't want to know
Word Count : 6455
Pairing : Jensen/Jared
Supporting Characters : Eric, Kim, Sera, Mike, Tom, Chris, Steve, Chad, Kylan (who is a figmant of my imagination
Disclaimers : They don't belong to me because if they did.............................
Warnings : Not so nice Kylan but he's only a blink in this chapter
Chapters - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12a 12b 13a 13b 14
Kylan
PDF for The Past Never Stays There
Tom pulled into Jared's driveway, the yellow crime scene tape still staked around the front door making his stomach lurch. The only cars still left were Jared's truck and Mike's car, both sitting where they had been parked haphazardly, partially on the lawn and the other on the street. Chad met them at the door pushing it open, so he and Mike could enter.
"How's Steve?" He asked before they could even sit.
"He's going to be okay. Where's Jared?" Tom asked, looking around.
"He's in the back, I'll go get him. No sense in you having to go through it twice," Chad said, standing.
"Hey, before you do, I want to run something by you first."
"What is it?" Chad asked, sitting down slowly.
"I want to check out some of the cabins down by that lake we planned to go to this summer," Tom started.
"Okay..... Why?" Chad asked, lost.
"Because while we were at the hospital, we did some calling around, and while there's only a couple of places that seem to have single guys renting, one of the realtors mentioned there being a couple of fishing shacks further up the trail."
"You think fucktard took Jensen to one of those?" Chad asked.
"It's not like he could take him to the Hilton," Mike grumbled.
If looks could kill, Mike would be dead at the combined glares he received.
"You going to tell Jared?" Chad ventured.
"Tell me what?" Jared asked from behind them, causing them to jump and look up at him guiltily.
"About Steve," Mike quickly spoke up.
"How is he?" Jared asked, dropping down into the recliner.
"He's going to make it. He flat lined at the hospital, but they have his heart in a steady rhythm now," Tom answered.
"Jesus Christ," Jared whispered. "How's Chris holding up?"
"Better now that he can be with Steve. He called me to tell me they won't know for sure about brain damage until he wakes up, but the doctor says it looks like he's doing really well. I still couldn't get him to stop felling guilty though," Tom said, digging his fingers into his scalp, trying to massage away the headache that was taking hold.
"What in the hell does he have to feel guilty about?" Jared asked perplexed, watching as Mike got up and walked into the kitchen.
"He's not here looking for Jensen," Mike supplied as he came back into the room, handing Tom a glass of water and a bottle of Aspirin. "You forgot your glasses again. Jamie's going to have your ass."
Tom sighed, shaking out the pills and downing them with a swallow of water.
"Yeah, well, doesn't look like I'm doing a bang up job of that myself. I don't even know where to start. I mean, if the police haven't been able to find him......" Jared trailed off, looking back and forth between the three men in front of him.
"Has the detective called?" Jared's voice rose as he sensed they were keeping something from him.
"No, nobody's called Jared, calm down. You know you would have heard the phone," Chad reassured.
"Then what's going on?"
"It might be nothing Jared. I just got to thinking that the police probably checked and rechecked all the hotels and things like that, but they may not have gotten around to cabin rentals yet. Mike, Chris and I called around while we were waiting for the doctor to come talk to us about Steve. It helped keep Chris occupied and made him feel like he was doing something for Jensen," Tom said before Jared could fuss about Chris concentrating on Steve.
Jared sighed, knowing it had probably kept Chris from ripping the hospital to pieces. "What did you find out? Jared asked, clinging to anything that looked remotely positive.
"There were a few places we were going to check out that looked promising," Mike answered.
"Well, what are we waiting for?" Jared asked, standing up impatiently.
" Well, number one, we have to have supplies. Number two, it's almost dark we can't go tonight," Tom explained.
"You want me to sit here all night while Kylan has Jensen? Are you serious?" Jared growled, hands clenching in fists.
"I don't want you to have to do any of this," Tom answered calmly. "But we don't really have a choice. We can't go wandering around in the dark with no supplies and no idea of where we are. Even if we did find Jensen, we don't know what shape he'll be in. We need the basics at least, and quite honestly, I'm not leaving without some extra first aid supplies just in case.
Chad stood up and wrapped an arm around Jared's tense shoulders. "I'm not even going to pretend to know what you're going through, but I know there's no way in hell Jensen would want you out there without being prepared. You know how anal he is about that shit!"
Jared's whole body slumped under the knowledge that Chad was not only right, but he'd get his ass kicked if he pulled a stunt like that and Jensen did find out.
"Look, we can spend tonight getting the things we need together and plotting the best route to take and which places to check out first," Mike suggested, seeing a chance to direct the conversation in a more productive direction.
"We need to decide who's going too," Chad said.
"What do you mean?" Tom asked, confused.
"Detective Patterson said someone needs to be here in case Kylan or Jensen calls," Chad explained, glancing over at Jared's pale face.
"I can't sit here and wait anymore, I have to find him. I'm not going to be able to do what I did all day today tomorrow," Jared stated brokenly.
"I'll stay," Mike volunteered, glancing over at Tom.
Tom was a little shocked. He knew Mike wanted blood on this one and was passing up the most likely opportunity of ever getting it by staying behind. He glanced over at Jared and saw the relieved look that he wasn't going to have to argue or beg and decided to let it rest for now. Jared seemed content to look over the map with Chad at the moment, and if it took his mind off of what Jensen was going through for ten seconds or pushed it to the background, then he wasn't going to fuck it up.
"We're going to go ahead and start getting some of the supplies. We'll be back in a little while," Mike explained, grabbing his coat and motioning Tom to follow.
"Okay," Jared agreed distractedly.
Tom kept his mouth shut until they were both in Mike's car and pulling onto the main road.
"So do you really think it's a good idea for him to go? Especially, if we find them and not knowing how bad off Jensen is?" Tom finally caved and asked.
"No," Mike said grimly.
"Then what the hell?"
"If it was Jamie could you just sit there and do nothing?" Mike asked.
"Shit," Tom growled. He really hated when Mike used his head for something other than torturing friends and guest stars.
"Exactly, doesn't matter what you find, he's going to have to deal with it sooner or later and sometimes imagining it is far worse than the knowing," Mike stated.
"True," Tom agreed unhappily.
"What do you want to pick up first?"
"Let's get the first aid stuff together first. I have a feeling we're going to need it the most." Tom sighed, "Oh and for the record I'd be out there looking if it was you too."
"Well of course you would, who else can translate your silences into actual speech for those not used to the Welling way?" Mike teased.
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"Do you think we'll find him tomorrow?" Jared asked after an hour of pouring over the map in front of them.
"How could we not? One demon hunter, a megalomaniac, Superman and the baddest bad ass of them all," Chad asked in answer.
Jared's lips tilted in a small smile, "Yeah."
"All we can do is try Jay. If we find him, that's what we wanted, if not, we haven't hurt anything, and we've ruled out one thing and we look for something else. You know we're not going to quit until we find him Jared," Chad said as serious as he'd ever been in his life.
"Thanks," Jared said quietly, trying to swallow around the lump in his throat. He leaned back to rest his head on the chair.
"Why don't you go lay down? I'll get you up when the guys get back," Chad lied through his teeth.
If Jared went to sleep, there was no way in hell he was waking him up unless it was to tell him Jensen was on his way home alive and well.
"I can't. Every time I close my eyes, I see that picture, except it's Jensen and not that girl laying there. I'm scared if I actually go to sleep, I'll get the soundtrack to go with it," Jared confessed, running a tired hand through his hair.
"Well, at least lean the chair back. You want me to turn on the radio or the TV?" Chad asked, hoping the noise would lull Jared to sleep and maybe keep the nightmares at bay.
"No, I don't want to miss the phone. Jensen's parents are supposed to call when they get to their first lay over and Eric said he'd let me know how the suits want to handle things if we can't keep it quiet." Jared shifted in the chair so he could lie back some more. His head was pounding and his eyes were burning, whether it was from exhaustion, crying or both, he had no clue.
"How are his parents doing?"
"Honestly better than me," Jared sighed. "Jensen came by it honest, that's for sure."
"Came by what?"
"That whole ‘I can do it no matter how fucking hard or how much it hurts’ attitude."
"Well, if it's what keeps them going, then more power to them cause they're going to need it," Chad observed.
"Yeah, I know, but Chad, they didn't even know about Kylan either."
"Well, of course they didn't, Jensen didn't want to tell them. You said you thought the police would catch him."
"No, I mean they didn't know about him from before."
"You mean from when he was staying in North Carolina?" Chad asked, dumfounded.
"That's exactly what I mean. He sat in a hospital for days, dealt with the police, and still managed to do his damn job on top of it, by himself." Jared's voice broke around just the thought of Jensen sitting alone and scared. "I don't even have to ask him why, I know what he'll say."
"We all know what he'd say. He says it all the time even when he's not opening his mouth. He doesn't like to be the center of attention, but you have to remember he was younger too. He probably thought he'd done something to cause what had happened, not to mention he might have been embarrassed, ashamed maybe," Chad said, thinking out loud.
"What the hell would he be ashamed for? He didn't make the guy have a psychotic break," Jared groaned as his head rebelled against his raised voice.
"No, but maybe he thought he should have known something was up with the guy. I mean, hell, when someone pulls your chain, don't you feel stupid? Wouldn't you feel ten times worse if it was something like this and then to find out the guy was a repeat offender as well?" Chad reasoned.
"Yeah, probably, but it doesn't make it any easier when all I want to do is help, and it's like walking through a minefield with a blindfold on."
"Maybe, but I'm sure Jensen hoped the guy was gone for good. Shit, I would have been. Damned if I'd have wanted to talk about him either, and you've just really started this other side to the Jared/Jensen show. I'm sure you haven't gone over every damn person you've dated either," Chad scolded.
Jared had the grace to look ashamed. "Well no...."
"I know you're frustrated, and you're scared so that's why I'm not kicking your ass right now, but you need to get it together because when we find him, he's already going to be blaming himself."
"Do you think I'd really blame him for this?" Jared asked incredulously.
"Not when you're in a sane state of mind but I can't say that's what you're in right now. I mean, hell Jared, that same attitude you're bitching about helped keep you and him alive after the plane crash, and I'll bet you it's what's getting him through tonight as well."
Chad grimaced at the way Jared flinched at the mention of what was possibly happening to Jensen.
"You're right," Jared hung his head, "it's just sometimes I want him to trust me enough to tell me the things he keeps hidden," Jared said quietly.
"He does trust you. He's doing exactly what you try to do for him," Chad said.
Jared looked at him, confused.
"He's trying to protect you. He doesn't want you to hear about the crappy things that can happen or have happened. He wants you to be able to stay the same happy Jared that bounces around and drives people nuts with his candy and grabby hands. Jensen doesn't want you to have the secrets eating at you and burying you in guilt and shame," Chad explained.
"But I don't want him going through that either."
"He knows that, but it's already too late for some things, and he's just trying to keep it from being too late for others."
"Maybe, but I'm not a kid, and I don't want him to feel like he has to hide things from me," Jared answered grimly.
"Well then, that's a conversation you need to have when we get him home. Just remember what I said. You're my friend but I will kick your ass," Chad said, standing up and stretching.
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Jensen was cold. He knew it was going to be a bitch trying to stay warm with no real protection. He'd found a small cave pushed back into the side of a cliff. It wouldn't have been more than a crevice if it weren't for the fact that it was actually protected by a fairly significant overhang. He debated for over an hour about lighting a fire, but in the end knew that if he was going to make it through the night, he was going to have to risk it.
He'd pushed himself for three hours, working his way down and out of the woods. He'd steered clear of the trials and away from the water, never sure when Kylan had planned to come back, and if he was already out looking for him. When he'd stumbled across the opening to the cave he almost cried, but figured his tear ducts had frozen over. His hands and feet were so numb, it took him forever to stumble around and collect enough brush and rocks to build a small fire.
Jensen was well aware that the chances of him coming across somewhere like this again was astronomical, which meant he had to find a way out tomorrow. The pain in his feet had started to subside, the heat from the fire warming them up slowly, but his hands, which hadn't been protected except by strips of rags, were in worse shape. He didn't think they were frostbitten, well not yet anyway, but it wouldn't be long. Some of the pain was coming from the scrapes and cuts he'd sustained grabbing hold of briars and limbs, trying to keep from falling.
The coughing had started an hour after he'd made it into the woods, the quick pace and thundering of his heart increasing his respiration until he was gasping for breath and wheezing. It'd pissed him off to have to stop and rest when the coughing threatened to take him to his knees. Jensen took his medicine, but cut the cough syrup dosage in half, hoping it would control enough of the cough but allow him to stay on his feet and moving as long as possible.
With the silence of the night came time for him to think, his first being of Jared, knowing this was hurting him was tearing Jensen in two. Then there was the absolute terror his mind would shy from every time he thought about Steve. He knew Kylan had to have gone through Steve to get to him, and that scared the ever living fuck out of him. If anything had happened to him, Jensen would never be able to forgive himself. This was why he'd kept everyone away the first time. He'd let his guard down and now his friends had paid the price.
Chris would be so devastated if he lost Steve, and Jensen didn't know if he'd be able to have a relationship with Jared knowing he'd destroyed what his best friends had had together. He'd always known a lot of his happiness depended on whether or not the people around him were happy, especially the people he cared about the most, and if he was the reason they weren't, then he'd always tried to find out why and fix it.
He wasn't sure how long he sat just looking at the fire, his mind drifting along to the point of dozing off instead of lingering on the depressing thoughts he'd been thinking. The heat of the fire and the enclosed space had lulled him into a semiconscious state, when the sounds of underbrush being disturbed brought him fully awake, a cold sweat breaking out across his skin. Jensen's heart felt like it was going to hammer its way straight out of his chest.
He inched forward, pulling the knife loose of its makeshift holder. It took his eyes a few seconds to adjust from the weak light to the complete darkness. The rustling came again, the sound coming from the left this time. Jensen slid out a little more, sticking his head around the edge of the outcropping, and sucked in a sharp breath as eyes, large brown eyes almost as wide as his had to be, stared back at him. The small deer stood frozen for a few heartbeats before dashing off in a flurry of hoofs and leaves.
"Shit," Jensen breathed, sagging backwards against the rock.
He took a couple of minutes to calm his racing heart before he scooted back into the heat of the fire. His body slumped forward as the rush of adrenaline left, leaving him shaking and weak feeling. Jensen knew there was no way he was going to be able to stay awake much longer, not with everything that had happened because his body was slowly shutting down. He grabbed a few more twigs and branches to build the fire up some more, hoping it didn't go out to quickly.
Jensen had no way of waking himself up, hypothermia and Kylan being his utmost concerns in sleeping too long. He hadn't come this far to be caught sleeping and dragged back to Kylan's new playhouse, nor was he interested in being a popsicle. He curled up in a tight ball, tucking his hands under his arms, trying to maintain as much warmth to them as possible.
Tomorrow he'd search for a way out, and then get help without Kylan finding him in the process. A shiver worked it's way through his body at just how mad Kylan must be at finding him missing and his plans derailed. He knew there was no way in hell Kylan was going to give up. It was all a matter of who made it out first.
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Chris wasn't sure what had caused him to wake up. He lifted his head, looking around blurrily, but nothing had changed. The heart monitor still beeped a steady beat, the oxygen tube made a little hissing noise, and periodically the pressure cuff on Steve's arm would inflate and count down with his heartbeat. Chris was just laying his head back against the chair when the tiniest of noises had him shooting forward, eyes intent for any change at all in Steve's condition.
He started to think he was hallucinating when nothing seemed to be different, but just as he was slumping back, he saw the little wrinkle between Steve's brow, and then a very low moan made its way past dry, chapped lips.
"Steve," Chris whispered, smoothing his hand over the cool skin of Steve's arm to take his hand.
Another soft moan broke through the quiet and Chris found himself holding his breath as he watched the flickering of Steve's eyelashes increase. He knew he should call the nurse but he was scared if he looked away for even a second that when he looked back his boyfriend would be laying as still and silent as he had for the last several hours. Most people didn't realize that while Steve wasn't a bundle of energy like Jared, he always made noise, even if it was the little snatches of hummed lyrics Chris would catch him composing while loading the washing machine.
Chris held out through another moan, and what he thought might have been a small groan, but the whimper that came next had him pushing the button so hard the plastic creaked in his grip and he didn't let up until he was sure either half the hospital was on the way, or he'd broken it, one or the other.
"Hey, it's okay. I'm right here," he soothed, running his fingers through sweat darkened hair.
Steve seemed to settle a little but the little sounds of discomfort kept echoing in the quiet room and Chris was getting impatient with the wait. He could tell by the still restless shifting of Steve's eyelids that he was battling to get them open. The door to the room finally opened and one of the night nurses stuck her head in.
"He's starting to wake up," Chris said anxiously, before she could ask what they needed.
"Okay, let me page the doctor, and I'll be right back, just talk to him. He's going to be disoriented and in some pain. It'll help keep him calm until the doctor can get down here," she advised.
"Why the hell is he in pain?" Chris growled.
"He has to wake up in order for us to determine how much damage was done and what steps need to be taken to correct it," she explained. "We'll get it done quickly and get him comfortable as quickly as possible, I promise," she reassured, disappearing through the door before he could tell her what he thought of that plan.
Chris leaned over the bed, so he could be closer. He kept up a steady stream of nonsense, remembering to keep his voice steady and low. When Steve finally managed to slit his eyes open for a brief moment, Chris thought his heart had stopped beating. It didn't last long and blue eyes were sliding shut again, but it had happened, and that was the important thing.
He had lapsed into humming by the time the doctor came in. He wasn't sure if it was to calm him or Steve but it seemed to be helping both of them, so he refused to be embarrassed by being caught doing it. The doctor just smiled at him, ignoring the scowl he shot her.
"Mr. Carlson," Dr. Martin said as she walked up to the bed. "Can you hear me?"
Steve's head moved in her direction, and he made a sound in the back of his throat, but he didn't open his eyes.
"I'm going to listen to your breathing. This is going to be a little cold," she warned as she placed the stethoscope over first one lung, listening carefully, and then moving over to the other.
"Mr. Carlson, can you open your eyes for me?"
Steve made another noise in his throat but Chris could see his eyelids fluttering again. He held his breath. Steve was stubborn and if anyone could do what the doctor was asking it was him. He had to bite back the unexpected laugh that wanted to escape at the doctor's stunned look when Steve finally managed to get his eyelids to do his bidding. He knew the feeling every time Steve turned those bright blue eyes his way.
"Well, it's about time you stopped hiding those. No wonder everyone wanted you to wake up," she joked with him as he tried to focus on her face.
"Now I'm going to shine a light in each of your eyes real quick just to see how your pupils react," she explained, waiting for his slow nod before starting.
When she finished, the doctor pulled a tube looking device out of her pocket.
"What's that?" Chris asked, finally breaking his silence.
"This is what we're going to use to test for nerve damage," she said, pushing a little button forward. A few strands of what looked like rigid fishing line popped out and the doctor twirled it around, smiling at his puzzled expression. "Not very high tech is it?"
"No, I've got guitar string that look about the same," Chris drawled.
"Mr. Carlson, I'm going to need you to tell me when you feel me touching different places on your hands and feet. Can you do that for me?"
Steve slowly shook his head no, and the doctor frowned. Chris could tell she was trying to determine what could be affecting his speech, and honestly, he was close to a freak out himself.
"Are you thirsty?" Chris asked, noticing the way Steve's tongue kept sneaking out to lick parched lips.
The quick nod had him reaching for the pitcher of water so fast he almost knocked it over. He poured half a cup and put a straw in, and lifted Steve's head a little to help him get a better angle.
"Drink it slow or you'll get sick," Chris advised, completely forgetting he was in the room with professionals until he glanced up.
"You're absolutely right. Here we are with all the technology and we forget the basics. As soon as you've finished with your water, we'll try again," she replied.
Steve finished the cup of water and Chris laid his head back down gently, pointedly ignoring Steve's pleading look. If he drank too much too fast it'd make him sick, which would be worse than if he'd never drank anything. He knew if he looked at Steve, he'd cave, so he looked at the doctor instead and waited.
"So Mr. Carlson, are you ready to try our tickle test?" She asked, holding up the filament.
"Ste..." Steve tried but had to stop and clear his throat. "Steve not Carlson," he corrected hoarsely.
Chris leaned over with the cup and let him have a couple of sips, retrieving the straw before his boyfriend could finish it all, and ignored the grumpy look Steve shot him
"Okay, you tell me when you can feel each touch. We're going to start with your hands, and I'll end with your feet. And no peeking, I need to know where, if any, damage was done by the electrical charge you sustained."
The doctor worked methodically over each finger and toe, over palms and heels. There were only a few places that were numb, and she explained that it wasn't at all uncommon in cases like his. She told them she'd be back the next day to do another one, but she expected that most of those places would have regained their feeling by then. She ordered pain medicine, which the nurse left immediately to go get, while the doctor explained that the electrical shock had caused the muscles in Steve's body to contract so suddenly and violently the pain was a residual effect. She likened it to what someone felt after a leg cramp but over your entire body.
When she finished all her tests and questions, she informed them that as far as brain damage went, there didn't seem to be any, that Steve's answers to all the relevant name, age, date questions were right, and that his foggy recollection to what happened right before his electrocution was normal. She said it might get clearer, or it might never come back, memory was always a funny thing and not the haha sort.
Dr. Martin pulled Chris aside before she left and told him she would be calling Detective Patterson to let him know that Steve was conscious but that he'd need to wait until morning to come and speak with him due to the pain meds they had administered and Steve's patchy memory. Chris thanked her and shut the door, taking a moment to collect himself before going back to Steve's bedside. He knew it wouldn't take long for his boyfriend to start asking questions, and he'd be relying on him for the answers. They didn't lie to each other, no matter how hard those answers were sometimes, and Chris wasn't going to start now.
"Hey, how ya feeling?" he asked, straightening the blanket covering Steve's chest.
"Like three day old road kill," he rasped.
"You want some water?"
Steve nodded, sipping slowly as Chris held the cup up for him and the straw steady, so he wouldn't have to chase it.
"What happened?" Steve asked after he laid his head back.
"What do you remember?"
"We were at Jared's house right?"
"Yeah, they're living together now."
"Yeah, I remember that part," Steve reached up and rubbed his forehead. "You weren't there, were you?"
"No, I went with Jared to the set. He had some interview to do and Jensen didn't want him going alone. You stayed at the house with Jensen."
"He was taking a shower. Somebody was supposed to be coming over but Jensen was grumpy as hell. I remember thinking he needed some serious alone time." Steve's forehead wrinkled in concentration.
"Yeah, Chad and Mike, but you called them and told them to give Jensen some down time. They were going to come over later."
Steve was silent so long Chris thought he had drifted off, the pain medicine finally taking effect.
"The doorbell rang," Steve said softly.
"Front door?" Chris asked.
"Yeah, I remember thinking that was strange but there'd been deliveries all day. It was a deliveryman. I couldn't see his face because he was looking down at his clipboard. I went to open the door and then...... Nothing. I don't remember anything else," Steve's voice had started to climb and the heart monitor's tempo had started increasing.
Chris leaned over and gently grabbed Steve's face in his hands, forcing his eyes to his. "It's okay, I'm right here. I'll explain everything to you, I swear, but you have to stay calm."
Chris waited for Steve to take a deep breath and nod, the heart monitor starting to slow back down. Chris sat down on the edge of the bed, so he could look his boyfriend in the eyes when he told him about Jensen.
"I couldn't get you on the phone, and Jensen's kept going to voicemail so me and Jared came back to the house. When we got there, Jensen was gone, and you were lying on the floor. You weren't breathing....." Chris' voice broke.
Steve reached out and grabbed his hand, squeezing it while Chris fought for control. "We started CPR until the ambulance got there. The cop outside got hit too, not as bad as you though. The bastard poured water under the door so you were standing in it, and when you put your hand on the door knob, he hit it with the taser."
"Huh, pretty ingenious actually," Steve considered. "Where's Jensen?"
Chris knew it was coming, was surprised it'd taken this long actually. He figured between the muddled head, the drugs and the fact that he was sitting there instead of out looking for him that Steve probably thought Jensen was at home, or at worse, in his own hospital bed. Damn he didn't want to do this.
Steve knew that look anywhere, the i have something to tell you that you are so not going to like look he could hear the heart monitor start to increase and struggled to take in slow deep breathes to regulate the fear climbing up the back of his throat.
"Chris! Where the fuck is Jensen?"
"We don't know."
"What do you mean you don't know?" his voice rose another octave and one of the lines pulled off his chest as he struggled to sit up.
"Steve, I swear to God, if you don't lay down, I'm going to have them sedate you. I told you I'd tell you, but they're going to make me leave if you don't calm the fuck down!"
"Calm down! Calm down! How the hell am I supposed to calm down?"
Chris was giving it another minute before a nurse was in here, the heart monitor was starting to show sharp spikes on the screen and the tempo of the beats had picked up considerably. He knew he was fighting a losing battle, but he needed to get it out so that when the nurse did get in here they could at least run damage control, not still be going through the damn apocalypse.
"Jensen was gone when we got there, Steve. We don't know where he is. Kylan took him. They have all the roads cut off, so he's not leaving town with him. Detective Patterson has already checked all the hotels and bed and breakfasts. Mike, Tom and me called all the rentals and found some places to check out while we were waiting on word about you."
"So, did you check them out?" Steve asked.
"I don't know, the guys haven't called me lately?"
"What do you mean the guys haven't called you? You didn't go? Why the hell not?"
Chris just looked at him like, he had three heads. "Steve, you're in the hospital, and if you don't want to be in intensive care don't ask me that again."
Steve just glared at him. "You know what I mean. You knew I was going to make it so you didn't have to sit here and wait for me to wake up. I'd have been okay."
"Oh yeah, so that when I found Jensen, he could rip my head off and feed it to Jared's dogs for not being here. No thank you very much. I'll take my chances with you."
Steve bit his lip and looked away.
"What's really bothering you about me being here?" Chris asked, cupping Steve's chin and bringing his face back around so he could see his eyes.
"I fucked up. I should have known it was a trick. He's got Jensen and it's my fault Chris. How can you be here and not out there looking for him? You saw what he did to that girl. You know what he did to Jensen before." Steve's voice broke as a tear escaped and made it's way down his cheek. "What he said he'd do to Jensen this time."
Chris scooted closer, pulling Steve forward. "You listen to me, and you listen to me good," he growled. "It is not your fault anymore than it's mine for leaving to go with Jared or Jensen for dating him. The only person responsible for this is that bastard, and he better hope like hell that someone gets to him before me because I will kill him. Not just for what he did to Jensen, or what he might have done this time but because he hurt you."
"But Chris, I'm awake now. The doctor said everything looks good," Steve implored. He couldn't quite figure out why Chris was refusing to leave. He was almost begging and yet the man still wasn't budging.
"You don't know it, but they lost you on the table," Chris said softly. "Your heart stopped again, and they had to shock it back into rhythm. I almost lost you and I wouldn't have been there."
And that finally explained it, Chris' refusal to leave no matter what. Steve could see the fear trapped in the back of his eyes, and it scared him to see it there.
"I'm not going anywhere," Steve reassured, placing a light kiss on Chris' lips.
"You did, you left me. You weren't breathing and I couldn't."
"I won't, I swear, not until we're old and grumpy and can't play the guitar anymore," Steve promised as he lay back, pulling Chris down to lie beside him.
"We'll never be too old to not play," Chris argued softly as he felt Steve's body relaxing next to him, the pain medication finally winning out.
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Kylan was livid. He'd planned for this day for years, only having to change the locations whenever Jensen had moved. Now when he was so close, the cops had to be crawling around, asking questions, getting in his way. They wouldn't catch him, he was too smart for that, but the delay was making him angrier by the minute. He watched as another car was stopped at the roadblock, the officer shining a light inside and then letting the driver pass.
He was going to have to find another way back to the shack. Lucky for Jensen, he always did his homework. There were several old logging roads he could take, he just had to decide which one would take him closest. He wanted to make sure the vehicle was close by just in case. The trip down and back with his party items was only supposed to take a couple of hours max, but five hours later, and thwarted at every turn, his impatience was starting to show.
He smiled to himself, thinking about the small amount of time he'd allowed himself with Jensen before he'd left, his dick hardening at the memory of rutting against the helpless body under him. He'd told Jensen he hoped he didn't have to use the bathroom before he left, knowing that he could hold it for a couple of hours. It would be uncomfortable but a first step in exerting his control. Now though, he'd been gone five and it'd be well into six or seven before he made it back. There was no way the man could have held it that long.
Kylan smiled again. He was flexible, lessons could always start with punishment first