HoND, chapters 27-32
drayexmachina claims that The Hunchback of Notre Dame is full of unintentional homoerotic imagery, but I haven't found any yet. Which, if you know me, you will understand to be very unusual. The column's called "Rainbow-Tinted Goggles" for a reason.
The problem might be with my translation, which sucks. I could stop reading and get a better one, but I'm scared to interrupt this project with a different copy. My attention span is usually not this good for this long. If I want to read something wordier than your average graphic novel, I have to shut myself up in an airplane. This includes things I actually want to read, like The Hunchback of Notre Dame. The point is, I'm afraid that if I stop now, I'll never finish. So stupid translation it is!
Chapter 27 opens with Phoebus in a roomful of ladies. One of these ladies is trying to marry him. He is not into that.
This is the first time I've seen enough of book!Phoebus to even begin to make a comparison to Disney!Phoebus, and so far they seem pretty similar. For one thing, they are both awkward with ladies.
pg. 214: "Fair cousin," said he, stepping up to Fleur de Lys, "what is the subject of this tapestry which you are working?"
"Fair cousin," answered Fleur de Lys, in a peevish tone, "I have told you three times already that it is the grotto of Neptune."
Whoops.
The scene goes on like that until "Berangere de Champchevrier, a little sylph of seven years" with a mouthful of a name looks out the window and spots Esmeralda dancing in the street. Everybody rushes to the window to watch "the Egyptian," but they are not alone. They spy someone else watching, as well.
pg. 217: A man was indeed lolling his elbows on the topmost balustrade of the norther tower, overlooking the Greve. It was a priest, as might be known by his dress, which was clearly distinguishable, and his head was supported by both his hands.
I don't know about you, but when I read that description, all I can think of is this:
I'm pretty sure that's not what Hugo was trying to get across.
Anyway, the ladies in the house want to meet "Phoebus's Egyptian," so Phoebus calls Esmeralda up into the house. Then the book turns into Mean Girls. While all the older girls are taunting Esmeralda for her perceived lack of fashion sense, Berangere is hanging out with the goat. Turns out Djali is some kind of goat genius, and has been taught to spell out words with blocks. The word Djali spells out for Berangere's entertainment?
Djali: PHOEBUS
all the ladies: OMFG WITCHCRAFT
Esmeralda: /hides Trapper-Keeper with "Mrs. de Chateaupers" scrawled on the cover behind her back.
So Esmeralda and Djali get kicked out of the house and everybody goes back to their business... except for Phoebus, who follows Esmeralda. ~How mysterious!~
But what was Frollo doing all this time? He started out watching Esmeralda from the cathedral, then went outside to get a closer look, and poof! She vanished. In her place is some weirdo with a red-and-yellow tunic balancing a chair and a cat in his teeth. Not just any weirdo, though. It's our old friend, Pierre Gringoire.
Honestly, I'd forgotten that he married Esmeralda. In my mind, Clopin killed him. But here he is, helping out his "wife" by collecting coins while she dances and amusing the crowd while she's gone.
Frollo is displeased, and marches Gringoire back up into the cathedral for an interview, where he inquires as to exactly wtf Gringoire is doing with Frollo's eyecandy, and also, good God, what is he wearing?
pg. 228: "Messire," dolefully replied Gringoire, "it is indeed a strange accouterment; and one in which I feel about as comfortable as a cat in a cocoanut-shell cap."
...
???
Gringoire goes on to explain his pseudo-marriage to Esmeralda, and that Esmeralda has a magic token powered by her virginity.
No, seriously.
Turns out she's got this charm that will help her find her birth mother, but it will only work if Esmeralda stays pure. Frollo is super relieved to find out that his crush is just as inexperienced as he is. He warns Gringoire not to touch Esmeralda, then tells him to gtfo. But first there's this quote:
pg. 232: The archdeacon rested his chin upon the points of his fingers, and for a moment appeared to be lost in thought. Then, suddenly turning toward Gringoire-"Thou will swear," said he, "that thou hast never touched her?"
"What! the goat?" asked Gringoire.
...I can see where Disney got the idea.
Chapter 29 is barely two pages long, and consists of Quasimodo thinking that Esmeralda is really pretty.
Chapter 30 opens with Jehan, who was not in the Disney version at all, which is a damn shame. Jehan is Frollo's spoiled younger brother, a university student, and a broke one at that.
pg. 235: "Poor purse!" said he, drawing it forth from his pocket; "not one little parisis. How cruelly thou hast been gutted by dice, Venus, and the tavern. There thou art, empty, wrinkled, flaccid."
I like to pretend that it was totally normal for people in Hugo's time to wander around delivering monologues to objects. It makes history more interesting.
Jehan has no money. But Frollo has money. So Jehan goes to pay his big brother a visit. Frollo is in his office, muttering about science. It sounds a lot like most art students' understanding of the subject.
Frollo: Gold is simply light that has hit the ground. I know this to be absolute fact! Why won't my alchemy work!?
As Frollo's little science rant goes on, it turns out that his inability to make gold bothers him a lot less than a certain dancing girl and her potential relationship with a certain Captain. He goes so far as to try and murder Phoebus with alchemy, which works about as well as you'd suspect. Jehan finally gets sick of his brother's mumblings and enters the room.
Jehan: Dude, so broke. Cash?
Frollo: How are your grades?
Jehan: Shitty.
Frollo: Why do you keep starting fights?
Jehan: 'Cause people are dumb.
Frollo: What do you need the money for?
Jehan: Charity.
Frollo: Really?
Jehan: Lol, no, it's for booze and whores.
Frollo: No money for you.
Jehan: I can't help but notice that you have written "I have a huge crush on the gypsy girl" on your wall in Greek. What's up with that?
Frollo: ...shut up.
Suddenly there comes a knocking, knocking at the chamber door. Frollo demands that Jehan hide, and Jehan demands money in exchange. Jehan gets his monies and hides under the furnace just as Master Jacques enters. Jacques and Frollo talk for a bit about alchemy, then about some guy they're torturing to get a confession of sorcery, then...
Jacques: So there's this chick with a goat that we're pretty sure is a witch. I think her name's Semlarda...?
Frollo: ESMERALDA!?
Jacques: Yeah, that's the one! So when do you want us to torture her?
Frollo: ...nnnnnot yet?
The plot would go on, but just then the characters spot a convenient metaphor.
pg. 250: Dom Claude, engrossed by his own reflections, attended not to the speaker. Charmolue, following the direction of his eye, perceived that it was mechanically fixed upon a large spider's web stretched across the window. At that moment, a giddy fly attracted by the March sun, flew into the net and became entangled in it. At the shocked given to his web, an enormous spider rushed forth from his central cell, and then at one leap sprang upon the fly , which he doubled up with his forelegs, while with his hideous sucker he attacked the head.
While it's not the most subtle metaphor, it serves its purpose, and we can at least thank Hugo for not drawing undue attention to it by having the characters talk for two pages about how this spiderweb is totally just like the situation at hand, do you get how it's like the situation at hand, well then let us explain it to each other at length.
This conversation is thankfully broken up by Jehan, still hiding under the furnace, and making a ridiculous amount of noise eating some stale bread and cheese he found on the floor. Frollo is fed up with his brother's shit and escorts Jacques from the room, leaving Jehan free to escape and spend Chapter 32 with his favorite drinking buddy, Captain Phoebus. My, isn't that convenient?
Phoebus asks how Jehan managed to get unbroke, and Jehan explains that his brother is both "an archdeacon and a simpleton." The two have a good laugh over that, unaware that Frollo is like ten feet away and can totally hear them. Then they wander off to their favorite tavern.
pg. 255: "It is superfluous to say that they had first picked up the money, and the archdeacon followed them."
...then why did you say it!?
On the way to the tavern, Phoebus tells Jehan all about some "Bohemian" girl that has the hots for him, and his plans to... do something with her... tonight. Frollo fails to overhear the important details, all he (and the audience) knows is that Phoebus and Esmeralda are gonna meet up, and stuff is going to go down.
-
Other adventures in Hunchback of Notre Dame reading include:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4 (You Are Here)
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Part 11
Part 12
The problem might be with my translation, which sucks. I could stop reading and get a better one, but I'm scared to interrupt this project with a different copy. My attention span is usually not this good for this long. If I want to read something wordier than your average graphic novel, I have to shut myself up in an airplane. This includes things I actually want to read, like The Hunchback of Notre Dame. The point is, I'm afraid that if I stop now, I'll never finish. So stupid translation it is!
Chapter 27 opens with Phoebus in a roomful of ladies. One of these ladies is trying to marry him. He is not into that.
This is the first time I've seen enough of book!Phoebus to even begin to make a comparison to Disney!Phoebus, and so far they seem pretty similar. For one thing, they are both awkward with ladies.
pg. 214: "Fair cousin," said he, stepping up to Fleur de Lys, "what is the subject of this tapestry which you are working?"
"Fair cousin," answered Fleur de Lys, in a peevish tone, "I have told you three times already that it is the grotto of Neptune."
Whoops.
The scene goes on like that until "Berangere de Champchevrier, a little sylph of seven years" with a mouthful of a name looks out the window and spots Esmeralda dancing in the street. Everybody rushes to the window to watch "the Egyptian," but they are not alone. They spy someone else watching, as well.
pg. 217: A man was indeed lolling his elbows on the topmost balustrade of the norther tower, overlooking the Greve. It was a priest, as might be known by his dress, which was clearly distinguishable, and his head was supported by both his hands.
I don't know about you, but when I read that description, all I can think of is this:
I'm pretty sure that's not what Hugo was trying to get across.
Anyway, the ladies in the house want to meet "Phoebus's Egyptian," so Phoebus calls Esmeralda up into the house. Then the book turns into Mean Girls. While all the older girls are taunting Esmeralda for her perceived lack of fashion sense, Berangere is hanging out with the goat. Turns out Djali is some kind of goat genius, and has been taught to spell out words with blocks. The word Djali spells out for Berangere's entertainment?
Djali: PHOEBUS
all the ladies: OMFG WITCHCRAFT
Esmeralda: /hides Trapper-Keeper with "Mrs. de Chateaupers" scrawled on the cover behind her back.
So Esmeralda and Djali get kicked out of the house and everybody goes back to their business... except for Phoebus, who follows Esmeralda. ~How mysterious!~
But what was Frollo doing all this time? He started out watching Esmeralda from the cathedral, then went outside to get a closer look, and poof! She vanished. In her place is some weirdo with a red-and-yellow tunic balancing a chair and a cat in his teeth. Not just any weirdo, though. It's our old friend, Pierre Gringoire.
Honestly, I'd forgotten that he married Esmeralda. In my mind, Clopin killed him. But here he is, helping out his "wife" by collecting coins while she dances and amusing the crowd while she's gone.
Frollo is displeased, and marches Gringoire back up into the cathedral for an interview, where he inquires as to exactly wtf Gringoire is doing with Frollo's eyecandy, and also, good God, what is he wearing?
pg. 228: "Messire," dolefully replied Gringoire, "it is indeed a strange accouterment; and one in which I feel about as comfortable as a cat in a cocoanut-shell cap."
...
???
Gringoire goes on to explain his pseudo-marriage to Esmeralda, and that Esmeralda has a magic token powered by her virginity.
No, seriously.
Turns out she's got this charm that will help her find her birth mother, but it will only work if Esmeralda stays pure. Frollo is super relieved to find out that his crush is just as inexperienced as he is. He warns Gringoire not to touch Esmeralda, then tells him to gtfo. But first there's this quote:
pg. 232: The archdeacon rested his chin upon the points of his fingers, and for a moment appeared to be lost in thought. Then, suddenly turning toward Gringoire-"Thou will swear," said he, "that thou hast never touched her?"
"What! the goat?" asked Gringoire.
...I can see where Disney got the idea.
Chapter 29 is barely two pages long, and consists of Quasimodo thinking that Esmeralda is really pretty.
Chapter 30 opens with Jehan, who was not in the Disney version at all, which is a damn shame. Jehan is Frollo's spoiled younger brother, a university student, and a broke one at that.
pg. 235: "Poor purse!" said he, drawing it forth from his pocket; "not one little parisis. How cruelly thou hast been gutted by dice, Venus, and the tavern. There thou art, empty, wrinkled, flaccid."
I like to pretend that it was totally normal for people in Hugo's time to wander around delivering monologues to objects. It makes history more interesting.
Jehan has no money. But Frollo has money. So Jehan goes to pay his big brother a visit. Frollo is in his office, muttering about science. It sounds a lot like most art students' understanding of the subject.
Frollo: Gold is simply light that has hit the ground. I know this to be absolute fact! Why won't my alchemy work!?
As Frollo's little science rant goes on, it turns out that his inability to make gold bothers him a lot less than a certain dancing girl and her potential relationship with a certain Captain. He goes so far as to try and murder Phoebus with alchemy, which works about as well as you'd suspect. Jehan finally gets sick of his brother's mumblings and enters the room.
Jehan: Dude, so broke. Cash?
Frollo: How are your grades?
Jehan: Shitty.
Frollo: Why do you keep starting fights?
Jehan: 'Cause people are dumb.
Frollo: What do you need the money for?
Jehan: Charity.
Frollo: Really?
Jehan: Lol, no, it's for booze and whores.
Frollo: No money for you.
Jehan: I can't help but notice that you have written "I have a huge crush on the gypsy girl" on your wall in Greek. What's up with that?
Frollo: ...shut up.
Suddenly there comes a knocking, knocking at the chamber door. Frollo demands that Jehan hide, and Jehan demands money in exchange. Jehan gets his monies and hides under the furnace just as Master Jacques enters. Jacques and Frollo talk for a bit about alchemy, then about some guy they're torturing to get a confession of sorcery, then...
Jacques: So there's this chick with a goat that we're pretty sure is a witch. I think her name's Semlarda...?
Frollo: ESMERALDA!?
Jacques: Yeah, that's the one! So when do you want us to torture her?
Frollo: ...nnnnnot yet?
The plot would go on, but just then the characters spot a convenient metaphor.
pg. 250: Dom Claude, engrossed by his own reflections, attended not to the speaker. Charmolue, following the direction of his eye, perceived that it was mechanically fixed upon a large spider's web stretched across the window. At that moment, a giddy fly attracted by the March sun, flew into the net and became entangled in it. At the shocked given to his web, an enormous spider rushed forth from his central cell, and then at one leap sprang upon the fly , which he doubled up with his forelegs, while with his hideous sucker he attacked the head.
While it's not the most subtle metaphor, it serves its purpose, and we can at least thank Hugo for not drawing undue attention to it by having the characters talk for two pages about how this spiderweb is totally just like the situation at hand, do you get how it's like the situation at hand, well then let us explain it to each other at length.
This conversation is thankfully broken up by Jehan, still hiding under the furnace, and making a ridiculous amount of noise eating some stale bread and cheese he found on the floor. Frollo is fed up with his brother's shit and escorts Jacques from the room, leaving Jehan free to escape and spend Chapter 32 with his favorite drinking buddy, Captain Phoebus. My, isn't that convenient?
Phoebus asks how Jehan managed to get unbroke, and Jehan explains that his brother is both "an archdeacon and a simpleton." The two have a good laugh over that, unaware that Frollo is like ten feet away and can totally hear them. Then they wander off to their favorite tavern.
pg. 255: "It is superfluous to say that they had first picked up the money, and the archdeacon followed them."
...then why did you say it!?
On the way to the tavern, Phoebus tells Jehan all about some "Bohemian" girl that has the hots for him, and his plans to... do something with her... tonight. Frollo fails to overhear the important details, all he (and the audience) knows is that Phoebus and Esmeralda are gonna meet up, and stuff is going to go down.
-
Other adventures in Hunchback of Notre Dame reading include:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4 (You Are Here)
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Part 11
Part 12