Aww good old LJ...it's been forever. Last we left each other, I was in such a different place.  Funny how time changes everything.  Same old insecurities, same old fear of the future, but so much of the surface is different.  New state, new job, new love, new problems... but as always and in so many ways...same me.  It's funny how that works I  ( Read more... )

It’s sad how naïve we can be. While in the moment we believe we are behaving in the most mature fashion, it is in reflection that we pathetically realize just how infantile our actions had been. Fallen head over heels in love, or should I say infatuation…love for him, or the idea of him? It is terribly embarrassing to look back and know that even ( Read more... )

i thought this was done i thought i could finally close that chapter of my life completely. and then you fucking come back like it's okay. like if you just say a few nice cliche things everything will be all better. fuck you. you didn't deserve me then and you certainly don't deserve me now. no one has ever loved you more? what about loving me? you ( Read more... )

First kiss and the first time that I felt connected to anything
The weight of water, the way you told me to look past everything I had ever learned
The final word in the final sentence you ever uttered to me was love

a month and a day since last i saw you. a month and a day since i have felt okay. my strength coming and going, moments of independence, moments of agency. i need no one. i was fine before this. i will be fine after. i am better off alone. he is better off without me. those moments are so fleeting. loud music, busy schedules, forced laughter... ( Read more... )

"l've had the love of my life, and no one else could ever touch that, no one can come close, so l'm just out there, passing the time, tap-dancing if you want the truth, maybe if l dance fast enough, l won't remember what l've lost.
-must love dogs

"Tell me you don't love me"
"I don't love you."
"You're a liar."
-walk the line

it's strange the way you could just up and leave. one day everything was good. the next, not another word. a quick kiss at the station...what i thought was "see you later" was your "goodbye for good" ... strange the way you've just erased me. no calls of your regrets no "i miss you's" or "how've you been's"...just silence from your end. where does ( Read more... )

sometimes it scares the hell out of me to need someone this much

Can't Cry Hard Enough-Williams Brothers

I'm gonna live my life
Like every day's the last
Without a simple good-bye
It all goes by so fast

And now that you're gone
I can't cry hard enough
No I can't cry hard enough
For you to hear me now

I'm gonna open my eyes
And see for the first time
I've let go of you like
A child letting go of his kite

There it goes up in ( Read more... )

so used to being alone in these things...feeling like maybe if i just close myself up in these walls i've built for so long i'll be able to get through anything...but now i have him to hold me up when i feel like i'm slipping, like i just can't handle it all on my own. and im sure sometimes it seems to him like i don't need him, like i can just ( Read more... )