some said the local lake had been enchanted.

[amand_r]

1. I am both repulsed and intrigued. And hungry.

2. We have issues:

Amand-r: I bet Rhys is the occasional cuddler.
Foxy: Rhys, yeah.
Amand-r: with his massive bear paws.
Foxy: MAUL MAUL MAUL
Amand-r: he and Jack should get into one of those girly slap fights with their giant man hands. It'd be like if you and I strapped tennis rackets on our

Comments

[shannon730]

I'm not paraplegic but eleven years ago very nearly lost the ability to walk (very long complicated explanation) and am now quickly facing that possibility again (again long explanation). I can honestly say that if there was any way to change that I would. Because you're right it's not the same as someone deaf choosing to not get their hearing back. It's different.

If I can help with figuring out the reactions at all I'm happy to help. You can email me at shannon730@gmail.com if you want.

[amand_r]

Thank you! I'm trying to wrap my brain around this. I threw in the Deaf community reference because a lot of the time in the Deaf community hearing loss isn't a loss, but something that never existed in the first place. But with a great deal of paraplegics, loss of...well, it's not just walking, it's everything pretty much--continence, sensation (though not necessarily sexually), this is something that comes after they had prior had the ability to feel and do these things, so yeah, I'd say that's a loss.

I think that's the key issue. It is a loss. Something you once had is gone-- and in the future when we can repair nerve damage to the extent that this isn't going to be an issue anymore, we might look back on it differently. But like I said, I am open to hearing arguments and where I might be making fail! and not seeing the perceptive filters here.

I'm going to ruminate on the ideas I hopefully get here today and then I'll probably shoot you an email. Thanks for the offer.

[shannon730]

You're right, when it's something you never had it's different. I think even if you're born paraplegic its not the same as actually having it happen later. For me it is strictly walking because it's not a spinal or nerve injury but I think it's hard for someone who's never experienced to fully understand even what just losing the ability to walk is like. There was a six month period that I couldn't, and as I said was being told that I never would walk. And I accepted that and was adjusting but I still wanted to walk again.

And honestly, at least you're looking into it before writing. I've read entirely too many fics where someone has that sort of disability that leave me wanting to kill the author because they obviously have no idea what they're talking about.

[amand_r]

I get what you're saying, and that was really my thoughts on the matter. But I don't want it to seem as if Lisa HAS to be "cured" because she ZOMG CAN'T WALK!!!111ELEVENTY. This actually happens fairly deep into the story (the "cure"), and they have been doing well without it, but it's a gift, actually, from someone, and I can't see her turning it down.

I have never lost the ability to walk, but even from conversation with people who lose the ability for periods of time for multiple reasons, it's pretty clear that it's a critical thing that can drive people crazy when they lose it (I don't mean literal crazy, figurative).

God, I can't see anyone writing something that deals with this kind of stuff and not researching. well, yeah, I SEE it, but I usually hit the back button right away. I have the medical side covered, but not the psychological part. Hence, y'all peeps.

[blue_fjords]

Did you ever watch "Joan of Arcadia"? The eldest son lost the use of his legs in a car accident, and his character arc was about coming to terms w/ that. He then started to get feeling back and immediately pursued whatever avenues he could to walk again. I'm not sure where it was going to go, as they then canceled the series, but I thought on the whole they did a good job w/ his story arc. (Okay, true confession, I loved that series like burning, in spite of the weirdness of Annie Potts and Joan & Adam's relationship in season 2.)

Rhys cuddles me all the time. When GDL is not over.

[amand_r]

My dad loved that show. This is proof that you are from another time. a gentler time. A teetotaler time. LOL.

Yeah, I mean, I know that there are some people who actually regain sensation (though I haven't looked into anyone regaining their ability to walk, so I cannot speak for that), and I think for me, the biggest relief would be regaining bowel and bladder control. There are some srs bad things that can result from not having sensation in your lower extremities.

You better be all thinky when you beta read this, lady. If we get lambasted, I will blame...well, I'll blame myself, but still.

YOU HAVE RHYS THERE TOO? DEAR GOD, WOMAN, THAT'S WHWRE THEY ALL ARE. DID YOU LURE THEM WITH SUPER FRENCH WINE?

[blue_fjords]

A teetotaler time? Um, no. But I am pretty fucking square and instead of being embarrassed about such a thing, I will embrace my squareness. And every now in then let my kinky side out to play. It needs lovin, too.

Wordy mcword on the bowels & bladder.

I am looking forward to delving deep into the beta. I will practice beta fu on it! Hi-yaaaa!

Rhys is going to make me some chocolate chip pancakes now. B/c I'm hungry.

[amand_r]

You HAVE to be kinky. You're married to Smirnoff.

OMG DID RHYS CONVINCE YOU TO HAVE A LIE-IN TODAY? DID HE HOLD THE FRONT DOOR SHUT WITH HIS GIANT MAN TENNIS RACKET HANDS AND GIVE YOU THE BIG EYES, SAYING, "NOOOOOOO BLUE, IF YOU GO YOU WON'T BE HERE FOR WHEN GDL AND I PLAY NAKED TWISTER."

AND YOU WERE ALL, "OH, ALL RIGHT, I'LL STAY HOME TODAY. NOW THOSE BOXERS HAVE TO GO. CHOP CHOP."

I...I have just made up a very frisky morning for you in mah head. Have fun!

[marita_c]

I'm no expert, but I know several people who are wheelchair-bound, some who've always been that way, and some for whom it's a relatively new situation. I think that even those among them who are in complete acceptance of their condition, and are as capable and independent as a wheelchair-bound person can be, would rather be out of the chair than in it. They might not subject themselves to painful procedures or experimental treatments, but if a real, well-tested, relatively simple, affordable solution was offered - they would go for it.

I'm excluding people who'd rather stay in that condition because they enjoy the attention and being cared for, because I don't believe they deserve any consideration (*waves* hi mom!).

[amand_r]

Yeah, I think you hit on something. I think the chair is something that has to be integrated into self-identity, because it's essentially a different form for a person. BIID revolves around that, and of course, you essentially have no choice about dealing with the chair-- it's there. and if it was inexpensive and not painful, I think the point is that some people might choose not to go for it, but that there are some who would. It's those latter people that I am concerned with.

[lawsontl]

My mom had polio when she was younger. They told her she'd never walk again or be able to have children. Even at that age, she more or less refused to accept that. I think part of it was her being stubborn, part of it being young enough to believe what she wanted contrary to medical advice of the 50's. But it definitely shaped her.

So, um, they were wrong on the kids thing, and the walking thing. I'm sure she'd be happy to talk to you about it, but you might want someone who was closer to Lisa's age when it happened. Still, my experience with her and her post-polio support group friends I met when she was still going to group meetings was - across the board - given the chance to get any or all of their ability to walk restored, they would grab it.

As you put it, it's one thing to accept and make a positive out of something you were born with that cannot be changed, but it's another thing to refuse to accept a late onset illness or injury if you have the chance to restore yourself to a previous state.

[phinnia]

As you put it, it's one thing to accept and make a positive out of something you were born with that cannot be changed, but it's another thing to refuse to accept a late onset illness or injury if you have the chance to restore yourself to a previous state
yes, this.

[amand_r]

LOL You read the end of the fic. I mean, I could never get her out of the chair, and it'd end the same. It's not like she can't have kids or anything. It just makes it different.

I think the fact that a lot of people in your mom's position, or in paraplegic or quad positions continue to try to walk, especially is an indicator that there is some desire in the community, for that.

[phinnia]

i'm gimpy enough to qualify as a gimp, i suppose (diplegic instead of paraplegic and at least partly wheelchair-enabled); and what you're saying makes sense to me. (it's early and i haven't had coffee yet so if you want to send me a message or something if you have specific questions go ahead)
<3

[amand_r]

Oh thank goodness it makes sense! If, after your coffee, you feel differently, feel free to come back here and give me what's for.

Your input is extremely valuable, p. It's immensely just to get direction from people who have experience. If I have questions, I will PM you for definite. FOR GRATE DEFS. :D